teaching a freaked out, non-shooter

[jade]

My mother has decided that she wants to learn to shoot a handgun. But she is afraid of them, yada, yada. Anyway, my question is, How can I slowly introduce her to them so that she begins to be comfortable enough to shoot them? She is very nervous around them, her breathing increases and she leans as far away from the gun as possible. She doesn't want to take her eyes off it. She is visibly uncomfortable and stressed.

She has, on two seperate occasions, seen one of my guns up close. She was willing to hold one on the second occasion. She held it for about 15 seconds, which she seemed to handle well. She has no intention of buying her own gun, but she wants to get over her fear of them.

My current plan is outlined below. I want to go nice and slow so she can get comfortable.
Please add any comments or suggestions.

1. getting comfortable being in the same room with gun (seeing the gun up close)
2. gun parts, vocabulary
3. holding the gun, action open.
4. manipulating gun(locking slide open, safety, mag release, etc), both revolver and semi-auto
5. taking her to an outdoor range so she can get used to that environment. (I say outdoor because I think she will be better off with fewer to no people shooting around her and the noise level will be less.)
6. getting proper/comfortable grip and stances
7. try dry fire
8. when she is ready, she can take her first shots.


Any feedback is appreciated.

thanks,
jade

 

[Navy joe]

.22LR !! Let the first shots be a non event, not a festival of smoke and noise.

 

[Airwolf]

Looks like a reasonable progression.

Keep the terminology basic until she's comfortable and open to learning more. People can’t learn when they are fearful/uncomfortable. Emphasize the 4 Rules and the reasons for them.

Do you have any idea where her fear comes from? I'd spend some time addressing that as well. You have to take it as a package deal, physical (gun handling) and emotional/mental as well.

Oh, and welcome aboard!

 

[Sean Smith]

.22 LR.

 

[hondo68]

Moms love cleaning, so give her a toothbrush and let her scrub and clean the gun she's going to shoot, to her hearts content. Just make sure it doesn't end up in the dishwasher!

 

[DonP]

Go with the .22 for sure

I did the same thing with the step-daughters.

Used my Buckmark, went on a less crowded day to a female friendly range. (Find one that has a few women on a regular basis so they don't feel out of place).

Got a lane down at the end. Plenty of hearing protection. Used a red dot on the Buckmark to make hitting the target easier for the first timer. Also set the target at about 20 feet to start with. Gotta build confidence first and foremost.

Lots of safety handling drills at home at the kitchen table first.

With luck you'll wind up with a shootin' mama!

The only real hazard is I haven't been able to get my Buckmark back to use myself at the range since I took them. They love it!

Good luck

Don P.

 

[Smoke]

Think of it as if you were teaching your own kids.

Airsoft.
Pellet gun.
.22 or .17HMR
centerfire.

Teach safety with the airsoft so that it is ingrained prior to handling a potentially lethal weapon.

Also be sure to speak calmly and insist on eye and ear protection. Don't tell her its because she might lose an eye, tell her its an abundance of caution. Ear protection makes for a more enjoyable time with any gun .22 or larger.

 

[CWL]

.22LR. Low noise, recoil and inherent accuracy builds all sorts of confidence.

If you want to take even one more step back, start with a pellet/BB gun.

 

[Sactown]

I'd say start off with a .22lr. Took a newbie shooting once. Started him off with a .22lr, he got bored after 100rnds and asked for the .45. I worked him up from .22 to 9mm to .45.

 

[Jim March]

This is DEFINATELY a job for the 22LR.

If possible, I'd recommend a Ruger Single Six (with transfer bar safety in place!). The "cowboy looks" are less threatening, and you know it can't go off unless cocked first (no DA trigger stroke available).

 

[DillHarris]

Sounds like everyone knows what they are talking about. Just wanted to say hats off to your mom for not allowing her fear to be a reason for prejudice against firearms. My sister was pretty anti-gun until I took her shooting and she saw that there wasn't anything to be afraid of (we were raised to be scared of guns). Just nice to see a reasonable attitude in a non-gun person. Thanks for sharing.

 

[hansolo]

Valium

 

[jade]

Do you have any idea where her fear comes from?

I don't know exact details, but her first experience was with a hunting rifle when she was about 16. It knocked her backwards into a ditch.

The only other experience that I know about was 5 or 6 years ago. She was in her car waiting for a stop light. She was about 2 blocks from her house. A car full of teenagers pulled up next to her and pointed a gun at her.

Thanks for all of the advice. I especially liked the suggestion for valium. I'm definitely going to start her on a .22.

jade

 

[Sprout]

I just took my girlfriend to shoot for the first time--.22 Kadet kit--and I think one thing that really helped was the gratutious use of Shoot-N-C targets. It really seems to help when you can easily see where you hit. I'm sure outdoors shooting pop cans would be even more fun. When you're having fun, it's hard to be scared.

 

[Bergeron]

I'd like to mention that blast tends to have a greater effect on shooters on than kick does. With that in mind, buy a pair of the biggest muffs you can find, that means a db rating of 38-42 and give her plugs to use also. This might sound slightly disgusting, but if you lick the plugs first, they are more comfortable and easier to insert.

Dry-fire practice will show any flinch that she might have before shooting, and if you really want this to be an easy transition, you might consider starting out with one of those BB/pellet CO2 pistols, there are many that are shaped and function like the real thing for an inexpensive price.

 

[JohnKSa]

Rimfire's definitely the way to go.

However, she's so timid, I would start with a single shot or bolt .22 RIFLE.

Something that is very easy to check for loaded/unloaded condition, and something that will be relatively safe if she drops it or reacts wildly when the shot breaks.

The kick will be non-existant--less even than in a .22 handgun. Also, the report will be very mild. When she's more comfortable with the concept of guns in general, move to a .22 Single Action revolver--preferably something fairly large to keep the recoil very low and to make shooting easier.

It's still very safe if dropped/waved around, etc. after a shot.

Once she's comfortable with a handgun you can go from there.

Don't push her up in caliber until she's REALLY ready. Be ready to accept that she may never be comfortable with anything that recoils more than a .22...

 

[nvrquit]

Definitely a .22 lr...

My mother had previous experience with rifles and shotguns, so she wasn't afraid of firearms in genreal, but she had no background at all with handguns. She knew I sometimes carried(early in my CCW days) and asked me to help her buy a handgun.

I let her try several of my pistols ranging from .22lr through 9mmx19mm. Recoil was not her thing(well, she was all of 5' 1" & 100lbs soaking wet). I guided her through all the safety issues and concerns, proper sight alignment(never hurts to rehash the good points). Showed her the three most "popular" pistol shooting stances and let her pick the one most comfortable to her. She eventually ended up buying a Taurus 94 4" barreled in stainless. She thought the trigger in DA was too heavy, so I installed a Wolff spring kit to lessen the pull. That didn't effect the reliability one bit. Never a single problem and more than accurate enough with ammo it liked. The revolver kept the operation aspect simple, the Taurus 94 holds 9 rounds and being stainless reduced the corrosion factor(I ended up cleaning it after every range session anyway). Mom even bought two of the HKS speedloaders.

Mom had that Taurus 94 until she passed two years ago, then it came to me. I will not sell or trade that piece, ever.

Take your time, be patient. Reinforce her when she does well and if correcting her, don't be harsh. You're definitely going in the right direction with your outline. When she becomes comfortable with shooting her preferred pistol/caliber, have a fun range session with reactive type targets(ballons, etc.). I have some really good memmories from range sessions with my wife and mother together at the range.

Good luck and shoot safely.

 

[Archie]

Somewhere in your introduction...

get dummy rounds and have her load the thing AT HOME with dummy rounds. (Make sure she knows it's inert.)

And as has been mentioned, really good ear protection.

 

[arinvolvo]

"Moms love cleaning, so give her a toothbrush and let her scrub and clean the gun she's going to shoot, to her hearts content. Just make sure it doesn't end up in the dishwasher!" -hondo

That is funny hondo!!!...My mom just loves CLEARING!!! Clearing a house late at night with a 12 guage!!

 

[arinvolvo]

Get her started with a CA 3800 chambered in .38 casull!!!! or maybe a 44 magnum..

It is a phychological method called "flooding"....Similar to taking people who cant swim, and pushing them off a boat....they will learn REAL quick.

Of course I am kidding...go get a 22lr ruger pistol, and start with that.

 

[BamBam-31]

Hello Jade, and welcome to THR!

You've been getting expert advice on this. These guys are right on the money. I'd just like to add my vote for the airsoft replicas, the .22LR, and the single-shot (either in the design itself, or just load one round in the magazine). In that order.

I also agree with the previous poster about addressing her fear of firearms. Talk it out with her. Fear can often be an irrational thing, and talking it out helps. She has already taken the first and most important step herself, so just gently help her along at her own pace.

Thumbs up to both of you. Good luck.

 

[Onslaught]

This might sound slightly disgusting, but if you lick the plugs first, they are more comfortable and easier to insert.

You know, if you roll the tip between your fingers, it gets really skinny and goes right in, then expands back out... without a Wet Willie.

 

[braindead0]

I'd probably go as far as to do a complete disassembly of my Ruger MkII. Let her get to know the parts and see that it's just a machine....

I liked the earlier suggestion about it being dirty..heck strip it and have her help you clean ;-)

 

[WyldOne]

Well if I have any "area of expertise" when it comes to guns, I suppose I could claim fear.

I used to be in your mother's position, so I can empathize really well. But for me, the fear came from an overload of media saturation with the "guns are evil" message.

One thing that helped a lot, was something that has been sort of briefly alluded to. I just sat, in a friend's kitchen, and stared at a gun. I have no idea how long it was, but it felt like forever. Every once in a while, I would touch it (eventually I would even pick it up!). But for the most part, it was just staring at it.

Oh, and the first gun I shot was a .22 rifle thingy (I'm still not good at all with the terminology. To me, that kinda comes at the end when I'm all cozy with the notion of guns n' stuff. ). It was good for me, because it totally felt like I was playing a video game -- not shooting something that has the potential to kill. The "video game" thing might be a generational thing though.

A word about gun vocabulary. It is overwhelming! I still refer to a gun parts by describing them. So, if I were to rearrange your list, I would put the gun parts and vocabulary at the very, very end.

As far as manipulating the gun, one thing that really, really freaked me out was when the chamber locked closed. I think. It was kind of a blur, but I jumped quite high and the day ended early that time. Just something to be aware of.

Other than that, I agree with everything. Especially the valium!!! LOL

 

[CatsDieNow]

My buddies took me to the outdoor range one bitter cold day and started me off with a .22lr Ruger. It was so cold and windy that we had to reload in the car. On subsequent visits, the owner (Justin) complained that he never got to shoot it while I was there.

My suggestion is to find someplace to shoot without any other people around, like a farm field. Less intimidation and fear that everyone is looking at them. You can correct little mistakes and give advice without embarrassing her.

Also, set up stuff to shoot besides paper targets. I have difficulty actually seeing the target and I usually can't tell if I even hit it until I walk up to it. Bowling pins can take quite a beating and can be reused many times. I am especially fond of milk jugs filled with water because they provide obvious feedback when they are hit. Knock off some items that dance around when they get hit before you start going for that little 10-ring.

edited to add: I bought my own Buckmark. I think it fits my feminine hands better than the Ruger did.