Tomorrow it begins...

[Aaryq]

Howdy folks. My mother-in-law and brother-in-law are coming in to town tomorrow to be there for the birth of my second daughter. They're from Northern Virginia, right outside of DC. My mother-in-law is anti-gun. She doesn't think that anyone needs guns in their house, people need CCL's and she also has that paranoid misconception that guns can just randomly go off. Don't get me wrong. I love my mother-in-law and she loves me like her own son. We get along great. Her son has only fired an airsoft 1911 but wants to learn to shoot a real gun. My question is twofold: How can I open my mother-in-law up to firearms without making her think that I'm a super gun nut and wearing a tin foil had? What's the best way to teach my brother-in-law how to shoot and how to be a responsible shooter (he's a year older than me, but I have a feeling he will be very irresponsible with firearms)?

 

[glockman19]

Congrats on the addition to your family.

 

[MrBorland]

My opinion? Keep the guns in a safe and keep the conversation away from guns. It's unlikely you'll change her mind, just as it's unlikely she'll change yours. IMO, it's best to keep the peace among family.

If you feel your brother-in-law may be irresponsible with guns, you could encourage him (privately) to enroll in a firearms safety course if he's determined to learn to shoot, but other than that, how would you oversee him when he's 3,000 miles away in VA?

 

[MrBorland]

...and congrats!!

 

[SniperStraz]

I agree with MrBorland. Congrats!

 

[PRazz]

I'd say take it slow and just show by your actions how responsible you are. Don't try to convince her to change her mind, some peoples minds will never be changed.
My cousin's girlfriend doesn't want anything to do with guns, especially handguns(she has voiced this many times). She has observed me regularly shooting at my Aunt's house and this past weekend while I was setting up targets, she came down and asked me what was going on. I told her that I was getting ready to shoot some targets. I then mentioned that I have my wife's revolver(.38 Special) with me and if she'd like to try it, she is welcome to. She said yes. So I gave it to her empty so she could get a feel for it and gave her a safety brief, a description of how to shoot it and what was going to happen when she pulled the trigger. While handing it back so I could load it, she dropped it in the grass. no harm done, I just smiled and told her she needs to hold on to it and not drop it. Gave her earplugs and glasses and I put one round in it(since she had just dropped it empty and I had no idea what she would do after it went BANG) and stood right behind her right shoulder for support. She then shot it, handed it back to me and said, "Thanks". I said "do you want to shoot it again?" and she said "No, that was good." I figured that was that and she'll never try it again, but the next day she was telling my wife and other family members how she had shot the gun(kinda bragging). There may be a chance i can get her out there again.

 

[sm]

My question is twofold: How can I open my mother-in-law up to firearms without making her think that I'm a super gun nut and wearing a tin foil had? What's the best way to teach my brother-in-law how to shoot and how to be a responsible shooter (he's a year older than me, but I have a feeling he will be very irresponsible with firearms)?

Don't.

Your responsibility is to take care of you first , so you can be there for the wife, kid, and new arrival.
Guns are fine and dandy, still there is more to life than "just guns".

Be a responsible husband and father, and by doing so , leading by example , anti-gun types are sometimes attracted to Pro Gun folks.

If questions come up, work smarter and not harder - Delegate.
Find a trusted friend of the family to deal with questions, and make the offer to take MIL and BIL to a range, club, anywhere to watch folks shoot, or even rent a range gun to shoot.

This distances you.
Sure "blame" falls on you for stuff you do not do, still by distancing yourself, and not "cramming down" their throats gun stuff is best.

Responsible firearm ownership means-
Is the mom going to have a safe and healthy delivery?
Is the newborn going to healthy and have ten fingers and ten toes?
Is the first born going to feel involved and a part of all this, or ignored and make to feel left out and jealous of all the attention this new brat is getting?

MIL and BIL will be viewing and taking this all in as well.
Do they see a responsible person that is a firearm owner - or a anal retentive self absorbed gun nut, unable to be father and dad?

Just my take.

Doc, will I be able to run 25/25 at trap after the baby is born?
Why of course
Great, because I have never shot trap and would like to learn, and shooting a straight right off would be great while hubby is home being tied up with duct tape in a chair and the kids driving him nuts

 

[helpless]

Show her some of Oleg's Posters, Print them out and hang them all over the house.

 

[hexidismal]

Good post, sm. Couldn't have said it all better.

 

[Ben Shepherd]

Humans are contrary creatures. Forcing anyone to do anything is a tough, and sometimes counter-productive approach.

If I were you, and I read your relationship with the in-laws correctly by the little bit you posted:

I wouldn't bring the subject up. If I had range time already scheduled, I'd still go(assuming everything is alright with wife and child). I woudn't schedule range time to spite however.

If your in-laws approach the subject and try to make it an issue?

Simple. My house, my rules. I, and most especially the new mother, DO NOT need undue stress/tension right now. So either drop it, or you will be asked to leave.


Maybe that's a little hard nosed. But the last thing you need is people there causing extra stress given the situation. It should be a happy time for all, and revolve around an ENTIRELY different subject. They should be there for the new child and the mother, not to discuss personal politics/convictions.

If they can't respect your household by doing that, they don't need to be there.

 

[pacodelahoya]

Keep the guns in a safe and keep the conversation away from guns

Just be yourself. It's your house, I don't think you should have to do anything differently than you would at any other time, running around in the altogether excepted.

Explain to you bil the four rules, have him demonstrate an understanding of gun saftey, then go have fun.

Don't even bother trying to convert the mil, waste of time.

 

[CNYCacher]

I agree with sm.

 

[greenflash107]

I agree with Ben Shepard. Your house, your rules. End of story!!! She may not ever change her mind about the way she feels, but she is a guest in your domain, and hopefully, she will act accordingly.

 

[glassman]

Low Key Is Best

I would treat them as you always do. I'm sure you'll have lots of other things to do and talk about what with the new arrival. Congratulations BTW!!

 

[benEzra]

Show her some of Oleg's Posters, Print them out and hang them all over the house.

Pick a nice one, frame it in a nice frame, and hang it on the wall.

 

[Aaryq]

My wife is encouraging me to take her brother out shooting and her brother is excited (I think) to go shooting. How's about making sure my mother-in-law is okay with taking her son to the range (he's 22 but ya know, just for principle) and talk to her heart to heart about it. I love debating but I won't use this as a chance to debate. I'll use this as a chance to see what she says and hopefuly nudge her in the right direction.

 

[Jorg Nysgerrig]

Show her some of Oleg's Posters, Print them out and hang them all over the house.

This was a joke, right?

sm's post is spot on. You've got more important things to worry about than your MIL's politics. Just go about your business. As far as the shooting, just invite him. Don't be weird about it, just say, "I heard you might be interested in going target shooting. Wanna go?" Actually, it might even be better to have your wife bring it up.

 

[hso]

It's the birth of your child and you're thinking about converting your MIL??? Priorities, man, priorities!

Now, if she brings it up at any time while she's there simply point out that there are over 100 Million guns in the US and if they went off by themselves or demonicly possessed their owners there would be 1 Million, or 500,000 or 50,000 deaths a year if her assumptions about guns were correct and that just doesn't happen. Perhaps she should think about that?

 

[Mr Kablammo]

It seems to me that if you B-i-L is over 18 or 21 yrs of age then you two can do whatever you like. Is he under some incapacity that keeps him from being a competant adult? Yes? Then follow the guidance of his legal guardian. No? Take him to the range.

 

[Jacka L Ope]

Lots of good responses here. Especially don't try to "cram" your beliefs down her throat. People choke.

It wouldn't hurt, on the other hand if and when the discussion comes up, to sweetly remind MIL why the Second Amendment exists in the first place and that it sure was thoughtful of her to wear her seat belt on the drive to visit.

 

[WheelGunMom]

Your wife is about to go through hours of painful labor to give you another beautiful child and you're obsessing on your MIL making some anti-gun comments, and whether or not you should take your BIL to the range?

Uh . . . hso is right -- you need to be re-thinking your priorities right now.

 

[Dave R]

My advice:

1. Enjoy your new child.
2. Make friends with your in-laws.
3. Be a gracious host.

This is not the time to try to convert your in-laws. Let them enjoy you and the new child. There'll be time for everything else later.

 

[JohnKSa]

I agree with Dave R.

The only thing gun related you need to do is make sure you have a coherent child-proofing plan in place in case you're asked about it.

 

[Mumwaldee]

Seems like he has an amicable relationship with his MIL. No reason to act differently in your own home. One thing I do around neutral/anti "friends and family" is talk about positive outcome home defense stories if/when firearm topics come up.

Present firearms as logical self defense tools. Even rabid anti's have trouble attacking 88 year old Granny who defended herself. Not many can sympathize with criminals breaking in to someone's house at 3 A.M. The best they can usually do is "well, it could have turned out a lot worse" to which I reply "yes, if she didn't have her gun she could have been killed!"

I am sure if you can present any story where someone defended their children (especially grandchildren) you'll do more to soften their viewpoint than you can imagine. If you can get into a friendly discussion then you have a chance to educate her. Ask her to go shooting, even as a spectator, maybe she'll see that it can be a fun and safe pastime.

 

[helpless]

This was a joke, right?

Why would this be a joke?