Was I probed

[Willo]

A chick sitting on the steps of my school in downtown got robbed a few weeks ago in a situation very similar to yours.

Here's what she wrote about it...

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Mystery solved...I am the student who was mugged about a week ago in front of the library. [...]

It was 3:30 in the afternoon and I was sitting on the steps of the library talking on my cell phone and smoking. A man walked by and was looking at me as if he wanted to say something. I did what I have always been told to do if someone is lurking, I addressed him to let him know I was aware that he was looking at me. I asked him if he needed something and he asked if he could buy a cigarette from me. He had two quarters in his hands. He was also wearing fairly nice clothes (a white polo style shirt and khaki colored pants) that were clean. He was not unshaven, etc. To tell you the truth, until I noticed his hands later on in the interaction, he could have been another student for all I knew. It is not uncommon for other students to bum cigarettes or even offer to buy one. [...]

I told him not to worry about it, he didn't have to pay for one, I would just give him one. I handed him a cigarette and went back to talking on the phone. I noticed that he was still standing there looking in his pockets and I assumed he needed a lighter. I asked and he said he did so I handed him my cigarette instead of a lighter. As he was using the cigarette to light his own I noticed that his hands were dirty. This was when I realized he was probably homeless because it wasn't obvious from the way he was dressed. He handed me back my cigarette which I immediately put out. I was concerned about putting it in my mouth after he touched it. He started walking away and as he was doing so I opened my purse to get myself another cigarette. As I did so he lunged towards me, reached into my purse and grabbed my wallet out of my open purse. I was in a seated position with my purse basically in my lap.

He took off running west on [X street] and then south on [Y street]. I stood up and started screaming at him. [etc, he wasn't caught.]
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Pop Quiz: how many things did this girl do wrong in this situation?

 

[Ovid]

I've heard of the wheelchair ploy... but assuming that this 5$ for a cigarette was
a ploy - what is the point of it? Is it a part of some type of set up? What do you suppose would have happened if he had accepted the 5$? Again, assuming that this guy was up to no good (which I would assume as well), what do you imagine his "plan" was?
The scary thing, is that a lot of people, will not say no to 'small request', as they put politeness before safety.

 

[joab]

what is the point of it?

Simply to get in close and get you let your guard down.

You reach out for the cash or to hand the cigarette over and get sucker punched and his "helpless friend joins in to kick the crap out of you and drag your wife into the alley.

An ex-BIL had a similar thing happen
He was approached , for some reason, by a stranger who introduced himself and extended his hand for a handshake.
When he came to he had a broken cheek and empty pockets and all his jewelry was gone

 

[Srigs]

Very common way to make you stop and miss direct you! They ten pull a knife or gun on you to make you two do what they want. Next time, I would not walk past a group like that. Call the police on them to get them checked out.

 

[1911Tuner]

Handshake

>He was approached , for some reason, by a stranger who introduced himself and extended his hand for a handshake.<
********************

After the cigarette/light ploy, one of the most common methods, and one of the hardest to resist. For most people, accepting an extended hand is almost automatic.

Never accept a handshake from a stranger on the street. Instead, glance quickly at the hand, and shift your attention to his overall posture while you make it obvious that you don't trust his gesture of friendship. If he's on the level, he'll understand and will likely apologize...and maintain his distance. If he's not, he'll probably smile and try to edge in closer. People who mean no harm rarely ever invade your comfort zone uninvited, and when they realize that they have, they almost always back off.

Another one to look for is a request for the time. When you shift your attention to your wristwatch, an assailant who approaches to within 6-8 feet has time to close that distance. In questionable areas, it's probably a good idea to put the watch in your pocket. You can keep your eye on the subject while saying: "Sorry. I don't wear a watch."

 

[XavierBreath]

Was I probed?

Yes, Joab, you were probed, interviewed, felt out, scoped out, evaluated, whatever you want to call it.

As soon as you had given a cigarette for a dollar or five, the situation would have escalated. They were testing your willingness to be victimized.

As far as the thug in the wheelchair, I have seen that ruse too, as well as a kid laying on the sidewalk with ketchup on his head acting like he was hurt.

You handled it well. Trying to analyze the situation from a typed text description is impossible, way to many variables and subtlties. The outcome shows you handled it correctly though.

Often, things like the non-atrophied legs, or how someone is standing alerts our survival instincts and we do not realize until later why we went on alert. It happens to fast. In situations like this, one must trust their instincts, not conscious, rational thought. Way to many people rationalize away the very thing that will save them.........Reaction time and distance, because they do not want to be "offensive". Trust your instinct. You did well.

 

[Willo]

yup

They were testing your willingness to be victimized.

Sooo true. It's amazing the lengths people will go to to GET robbed. Once you show them you're not playing their game, they'll leave you alone.

It's sad that some people feel the need to interact on the "pretend level" of these vermin. When a guy comes up to you to offer a handshake or to 'buy' a cigarette or to interact with you in any way, he's saying "I want something from you." The handshake or cigarette is only a ruse, and you shouldn't respond to him on the level of that ruse, you should respond to the underlying assertion: I want something from you.

Every day I go to school downtown and have to run the gauntlet of anywher from 10 to 20 homeless people and other assorted street kooks between the parking lot and school and back again. No matter what anybody approaches me on the street for, I say "sorry I can't help you" in my gruffest voice and keep walking. I don't respond to anything else they say and never ever stop walking.