Smurfslayer
Member
"Every dog has his day"
Those were the sage words of my grandfather many moons ago as he tried to instill upon me the value of patience. I have found that he did not lie...
+1 Mike in VA. I've had this come up more than once before. It's amazing how childish so called "professionals" in the computer field can be. In my first 4 years of IT work, I was a first hand witness to 3 stalking events, a robbery, an attempted robbery "by mob" in the office, by coworkers, 2 incidents of battery and I was present but not a witness to 2 armed attacks.
You're right that this is petty and to speculate about what might be going on in the twerp's mind. The sad fact is, we just don't know who is going to snap, and when. I don't think it's worth the chance myself.
I've had simpletons to deal with for the last 15 years now, I've dealt with some of them serreptitiously, some in outright confrontation, some with guile, and some by using the rules against them. Some have worked really well, some have worked ok, some didn't work. My suggestions:
1: "witness up". You've no doubt heard the phrase 'lawyer up' on TV, well, you should "witness up". Meaning you don't go anywhere near Mr. Twerp without a witness. I mean all the time, even going to the bathroom. The witness helps mollify the "bully effect". This 'witness' needs to be a 'trusted' source, a friend if possible.
2: Keep a written log on each and every dealing with Mr. Twerp including dates, times, what was said. Make it retroactive.
3: Mention this to your super. Remind them that professional conduct is a requirement. Make sure you do your part. Always be professional.
4: DO NOT spike his coffee, food, drink or anything else. That's called poisoning. What if he happens to have an allergic reaction?
Think first, before acting.
5: Don't make a "petty" complaint. It can't be "he doesn't like me!", there has to be a pattern of abuse, a warning to cease and desist, and a continuation of the unwanted behavior. That's a reason that you want a witness around.
Document, document, document. All the while doing your job, being polite, respectful and professional. Sooner or later... more likely sooner, Mr. Twerp will screw up in front of your witness.
when you boil it down to the the least common denominator this twit is nothing more than a passive aggressive bully. There is only one solution to a bully and that is to stand up for yourself. You should only do this after the pattern of abusive behavior has been established, documented, witnessed, countered with a legitimate request to cease and desist. If this has happened, and your witness is with you, you are going to have to stand up to him sooner or later. The longer you wait, the more conditioned he will become to your "acceptance" of his abusive behavior, and the more emboldened he will become. When I say "stand up to him" I don't mean attack him in any way, I mean to simply stand up, and tell him in no uncertain terms that you will not tolerate his unprofessional, rude, condescending behavior. Since you've documented, and had witnessed all of the events up to this, it will be pretty difficult for any reputable company to ignore Mr. Twerp's misbehavior any longer.
Also, remember email is forever - to hell with the electrons, keep anything he sends you no matter how harmless. You never know when you'll be able to use one of his emails (if that's a factor) against him. I've been successful bringing up email evidence at least 5 times in my career, once in a racial discrimination claim.
If you find this to be distracting, worrisome, of causing headaches, etc. then take some fresh perspective. Make it a goal to get this S.O.B. A personal one. Yeah, I know, it's vengeful. I can live with that.
Seriously, tell yourself every morning to be polite, professional, courteous, confident and most of all - prepared.
HTH
Those were the sage words of my grandfather many moons ago as he tried to instill upon me the value of patience. I have found that he did not lie...
+1 Mike in VA. I've had this come up more than once before. It's amazing how childish so called "professionals" in the computer field can be. In my first 4 years of IT work, I was a first hand witness to 3 stalking events, a robbery, an attempted robbery "by mob" in the office, by coworkers, 2 incidents of battery and I was present but not a witness to 2 armed attacks.
You're right that this is petty and to speculate about what might be going on in the twerp's mind. The sad fact is, we just don't know who is going to snap, and when. I don't think it's worth the chance myself.
I've had simpletons to deal with for the last 15 years now, I've dealt with some of them serreptitiously, some in outright confrontation, some with guile, and some by using the rules against them. Some have worked really well, some have worked ok, some didn't work. My suggestions:
1: "witness up". You've no doubt heard the phrase 'lawyer up' on TV, well, you should "witness up". Meaning you don't go anywhere near Mr. Twerp without a witness. I mean all the time, even going to the bathroom. The witness helps mollify the "bully effect". This 'witness' needs to be a 'trusted' source, a friend if possible.
2: Keep a written log on each and every dealing with Mr. Twerp including dates, times, what was said. Make it retroactive.
3: Mention this to your super. Remind them that professional conduct is a requirement. Make sure you do your part. Always be professional.
4: DO NOT spike his coffee, food, drink or anything else. That's called poisoning. What if he happens to have an allergic reaction?
Think first, before acting.
5: Don't make a "petty" complaint. It can't be "he doesn't like me!", there has to be a pattern of abuse, a warning to cease and desist, and a continuation of the unwanted behavior. That's a reason that you want a witness around.
Document, document, document. All the while doing your job, being polite, respectful and professional. Sooner or later... more likely sooner, Mr. Twerp will screw up in front of your witness.
when you boil it down to the the least common denominator this twit is nothing more than a passive aggressive bully. There is only one solution to a bully and that is to stand up for yourself. You should only do this after the pattern of abusive behavior has been established, documented, witnessed, countered with a legitimate request to cease and desist. If this has happened, and your witness is with you, you are going to have to stand up to him sooner or later. The longer you wait, the more conditioned he will become to your "acceptance" of his abusive behavior, and the more emboldened he will become. When I say "stand up to him" I don't mean attack him in any way, I mean to simply stand up, and tell him in no uncertain terms that you will not tolerate his unprofessional, rude, condescending behavior. Since you've documented, and had witnessed all of the events up to this, it will be pretty difficult for any reputable company to ignore Mr. Twerp's misbehavior any longer.
Also, remember email is forever - to hell with the electrons, keep anything he sends you no matter how harmless. You never know when you'll be able to use one of his emails (if that's a factor) against him. I've been successful bringing up email evidence at least 5 times in my career, once in a racial discrimination claim.
If you find this to be distracting, worrisome, of causing headaches, etc. then take some fresh perspective. Make it a goal to get this S.O.B. A personal one. Yeah, I know, it's vengeful. I can live with that.
Seriously, tell yourself every morning to be polite, professional, courteous, confident and most of all - prepared.
HTH