What makes someone a mall ninja?

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HALFDED:
find it hard to believe that anyone that hasn't been living in a cave the past 30 or more years wouldn't have heard of zombies in some fashion by now.
Don't you people ever go to the movies or watch television?
Yes it's a far-fetched idea, but allow me to add a little viability to the scenario:
Widespread human rabies epidemic; again far-fetched, but not impossible.
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I know what a "zombie" by regular definition. What I was referring to, was the popular reference in which people are purchasing zombie targets, preparation for zombie attacks. I'm assuming its meant as a joke, but some appear to take it rather seriously. I could definitely wrong, but as a one who happens to think I'm a sound individual, I don't have any harboring fear of zombies than I do the Joker, or Megatron.
 
Even the use of the words "tactical necessity" can be treading awfully close...
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Just using the word "tacticle" by itself is coming close!

Ahhhh... CRAP!

I do think that is cool and maybe even useful.

Kind'a tough to find a holster for it though...
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Just don't use Thunderwear or Smartcarry. :uhoh:


Pictures are worth a thousand words ... :D


redneck_swiss_army_gun.jpg


tacticoolflintlock.jpg
 
Anytime I start to get the blues, I think of Gecko45, and all is right with the world again...

A true Mall Ninja does not become a Mall Ninja strictly by the gear he carries. No matter how tactically useless his mail order equipment, no matter how terrible his actual skills and tactics, he's not a Mall Ninja until he assumes the mentality of the Mall Ninja. When you truely BELIEVE your job is so dangerous yet so important that you need to duct tape two trauma plates to your back to survive, then you're a Mall Ninja.
 
this thread was worth it all only for the ninja gal !


When you truely BELIEVE your job is so dangerous yet so important that you need to duct tape two trauma plates to your back to survive, then you're a Mall Ninja.
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So true !!!
 
"Tactical necessity"

I realize that anything black *could* be construed as tactical. But if you really believe that, you need to take a step back and "un-tactisize" yourself.

A weapon is tactical.
What type of weapon just becomes more specific and debatable.
A flashlight is tactical.
Whether its in your pocket or mounted to a weapon is a preference, not a *necessarily* a tactical solution.

Beyond that, I don't feel that (in true use of the words) anything else is a necessity as much as it becomes simply a convenience, or matter of preference.

I'm referring (in context) to the average citizen protecting himself in a home invasion.
 
Sorry about that Bliggida.

Yeah, I think people are referring to another "end of days" type scenario. Waves of enemies and a glorious fight to the bitter end.

I'm in the "zombies are bogus but make good movies" boat, but I have to admit the rabies idea is kind of scary.
 
Pretty much what Sam said.

It's a good description of an individual who attempts to buy skills and ability off the shelf, rather than buy ammo and learn it.



The hallmarks are pictures of guns all tricked out with accessories, usually accompanied by some commentary on how prepared the fellow now is to take care of whatever problem he envisioned this package was designed to solve.

I'm not sure which is the bigger fantasy, the problem in they envision in their mind, or their perception of their abilities to actually solve one.


Also notice in those nice pictures, the guns are completely devoid of any wear. But when you see or handle the same weaponry, with the same accessories, by individuals who actually use them it's often scratched to hell, dinged up, and nearly always has the residue of a field expedient duct tape repair left somewhere on it. I've been in shooting schools where files come out somewhere at the end of day one and watched the students begin grinding down the newly discovered sharp edges on their weapons.



I'm convinced the difference between a tool and a magic talisman is proportional to the amount of wear, worn bluing, and duct tape residue on the weapon. Bonus points for blood and pieces of flesh.
 
I always assumed the term "mall ninja" was in some way in an offshoot of the term "mall goth," which describes those kids you see at the mall decked out in black clothes, spikes, makeup and Marilyn Manson t-shirts -- kids who like to look dark and scary, but in reality are nothing of the like.

I love seeing mall ninjas at work. The handgun form in my state requires that you give us your occupation. So I have to chuckle when a guy buys a USP, a laser sight/bayonet, a Mossberg JIC with an LED, a drop holster, and a magazine pouch -- and his occupation says "accountant."
 
"Stuff other people dont think we need"

Werewolf said:
...Which...

Would pretty much guarantee that by that definition most of us would qualify as a mall ninja.

Cool - I'm a mall ninja! Where do I go to pick up my tactical wheel barrow.
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I have a $300 wheelbarrow....I wonder if that makes me a barn ninja?
 
I know what a "zombie" by regular definition. What I was referring to, was the popular reference in which people are purchasing zombie targets, preparation for zombie attacks. I'm assuming its meant as a joke, but some appear to take it rather seriously. I could definitely wrong, but as a one who happens to think I'm a sound individual, I don't have any harboring fear of zombies than I do the Joker, or Megatron.
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Zombies are often used as a conversational euphemism in SHTF threads. The person using the term usually means one or both of the following things:

1) The literal fictitious zombie horde - this is typically used in a tongue-in-cheek fashion to justify a weapon/ammo stockpile/tactical choice that would probably only have realistic use when taking on a horde of thousands of the undead. It is a joke, period.

2) The figurative, literal zombie - this is used in context of real world scenarios. In a TEOTWAWKI scenario, social order and human decency break down as those unprepared search for a way, any way to survive. In that case, one who is well prepared and supplied may need to defend their possessions and loved ones against something just as scary as a fictional zombie horde: a group of desperate people. People refer groups of desperate humans as "zombies" in this case because it's likely that if they're desperate enough, all shreds of human decency and decorum will be long gone, set aside in favor of doing whatever they can to survive. There's also another class, which will be the folks who see the power vacuum as an opportunity for mayhem and the consolidation of power (such as gangs in the wake of Hurricane Katrina). Likewise, these people will likely bear little functional resemblance to the human beings they were before the SHTF.

Number 2 is what people mean more often than not, it seems, and of course it's the more realistic of the scenarios. Number 2 has happened and will continue to happen, since there will always be unprepared desperate people in the midst of disasters, or those wishing to take advantage of the weak in such a scenario. They will seek continued life through whatever methods they deem necessary and appropriate.
 
Mall Ninjas are the people that think machismo is cool, and have to macho-fy everything, even defense.

I can't just have a handgun, I must have a titanium-nitride plated 92F with integrated cocking tube laser, RAS green laser, Another rail on the laser, a Tac-light on the laser's rail, a rail on the tac-light, and a pistol bayonet on the tac-light's rail. I also need to have a bullet proof vest with trauma plates on top of another bulletproof vest because you just can't be certain.

Then you need the kevlar-wrapped honda civic equipped with bulletproof glass because you know, suburbia is a frickin war zone.

Don't forget the tactical shopping cart either, since even the Piggly Wiggly is a giant funnel of death.

Edit: When I talk of Zombies, I'm joking around...I use it as a joke excuse to the SO about why I bought more gun stuff. "I bought it in case of zombie infestation honey....I'm not really keen on my brain being noms for some undead critter"
 
All -

Now hear this: when referring to the dread Mall Ninjas,

The "T" word is correctly spelled "testicle",

Not "tactical."

Now back to our regular programming........

isher
 
The Gecko45 thing is always funny to read, though I am 99% sure it was someone having fun getting everyone twisted up with some awesome mall ninja-ness. :neener:

I'll leave one percent because there really are people that crazy and detachted from the real world, though I do hope its not really one percent of the population. :eek:

OH and the zombie thing? IF you question what that means go watch Dawn of the Dead, or Night of the Dead, or Afternoon of the Dead (which ever they made last) and then ask your self "IF that was for real what would I want to have to fend off the icky zombies"

Personally I would take a nice private island with zombie eating sharks and that ninja girl posted above. ;)
 
HAHA i have a zombie reference in my sig

i hope that doesnt make me a mall ninja lol

seriously anytime some guy thinks hes an "operator" and isnt from an actual military establishment they are a mall ninja
anytime someone owns more tactical (tacti-cool) gear than they know how to use they are a mall ninja
if you think your 12000 rifle is the weapon but your just the operator of it then your a mall ninja
if you buy every ounce of tactical crap on the market because you may need it someday and are SERIOUS your a mall ninja

as for zombie prep... to me its a joke because im a horror movie fan but yea its the last ditch bottom of the barrel thing to be prepaired for if your ready for zombies your ready for anything
 
It started off with this guy, the original Mall Ninja:
http://lonelymachines.org/mall-ninjas/
Read it and you'll see why he was given that title.
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I found out about this when I first started checking out THR. When I started, I thought it was going to be pretty dull the way he described it, but when I actually got through it I had laughed so hard so many times I couldn't believe that this actually happened :what:

"Gecko45 is the holy Dalai Lama of these dolts" So true. :rolleyes:
 
The "tactical testicle" is the protective adaptation for the 21st century. Constructed of Adamantium alloys and special radar/infrared absorbing materials, it's also a stealth device.

It's intended use is still classified top secret, we don't talk about the tactical testicle beyond this. ;)

Sorry, had to inject a bit of mall-ninja humor in here.

Seriously, people that can't realize that the person is the weapon and tactical gear is only tactical if it fits in with YOUR tactics, are either Mall Ninjas, or simply don't realize they are one.
 
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=mall+ninja&r=f
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I'm surprised no one has yet mentioned what I THOUGHT the phrase "mall ninja" came from and meant. I thought it referred to these dark trench coat wearing kids/young adults who either perpetrated a mall shooting or are young and resemble the mall shooters (by obsessing with guns and death, as opposed to collecting guns and enjoying shooting).

I first heard the term "mall ninja" after the trolley square shooting and the von maur mall shootings.
 
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