What to do about goblins hanging out in front of my apartment?

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When my dog starts digging holes where she's not supposed to, I generally put her poop in the hole. If they were in front of my house, I'd be putting her poop there too. I can't imagine that they would want to clean it up or stick around it. Do you have a dog?

Scott
 
Skunk scent is a good idea - Cabellas has it if you can't find it locally. They won't want to hang around if you dab a bit of it around, it'll have an impact on their sales - of course, you'll have to smell it too.

If they haven't had interactions with anyone else in the building, I'd be careful about involving the police. It could backfire on you - these fellows know where you live, what you drive, etc. and can make life miserable for you. Assume they have less to lose than you do.
 
skunk scent cat piss. dump some tar or oil where they like to stand, the owner of the rover will piss himself after he finds some of the grease in his ride. adding lights will work put the lights where they are easily replaced when they knock them out. putting smelly stuff on the wall where they like to lean. right or call your councilman/mayor/chief of police/community ombudsman. Discretely take video of them and send a tape to the local tv. after many calls to 911, call local tv. Never lie to 911, but do not be afraid to strongly shade your statements. "They are holding a bunch of laptops that might be stolen, and I smell what might be meth or crack" "Please come fast, they made some nasty comments about sexual assault to my GF" "i heard them say they had a gun" not easy to prove you were lying.

the tear gas cannister would work well with a pull wire attacked to the ring. tape/wire the cannister to a garbage can, wait till they arrive and without them knowing you are home pull the pin. Also if you can get into the rover. use a soup can, place the pinless cannister inthe soup can, stretching a wire from the cannister to the rear door or from a can attacned to the seat to the front seat, let them open the door and bingo smoke attack from inside.
 
Ammonium iodide solution soaked into newspaper. Spread it out before they arrive. After the newspaper dries, one step on it and it is like a firecracker went off. Teach them to dance that way.
 
Hi Pete F-

You might wish to reconsider your poor advice about vandalizing their expensive Range Rover vehicle above. This would make poster Joey93Turbo the bad guy and the thugs would win that case without even breaking a sweat. My personal feeling is that he might be slightly overreacting to the situation.

~ Blue Jays ~
 
I actually tried some Beethoven yesterday, they were gone in about 10 mins! It worked so well I'm having serious doubts about if that's what actually made them leave or if they were leaving already. They didn't show up tonight.

Shweboner - I live in NE just off MLK near Broadway Toyota and Billy Reeds.
 
well the part about using a CS grenade inside the ride might have been a bit over the top. but i suspected he would catch that, the grease on the walls or ground to be tracked into the ride, no way i have used that before also used cat pee in a refillable areosol to mist out over miscreants who used to hang around my warehouse. a few sprays out an open window and letting the wind drift it down on them was enough to get them to leave.

Also used a motion sensor light to trigger out door sprinkler systems.

Walked the dog for a week in back of the building too.

Brother fertilized his flowers with goat manure too that worked at his old office. NOTHING seems to stink worse that goat manure when damp.

Used to have a shop on Lake street in Minneapolis, The hooker problem got so bad that breaking glass in your own alley was one way to keep them from going behind your building and get down to business. It ripped up the girls knees...water ballons on the girls when it is 20 below is harsh but works. same on gang bangers.
 
How sadistic do you want to be? You could put the Hanson's MMMMMMM Bop on continuous loop, but you may wind up killing yourself, or maybe you could try this:

Go to the fish market and get a fresh squid. Seal it in a pair of zip lock bags and leave them out in the sun for a couple weeks. Get a needle and a syringe and draw up the liquid that will form in the bag. Apply to any cloth surface, car floors, shirts, whatever, it is almost impossible to make the smell go away. A fine mist of this foul concoction sprayed over the area should remove almost any goblin.
 
Had a similar problem in a neigborhood a friend of mine lived in.

Goblins hate the light. Especially when it is a camera flash. A few photographs at the right time, an anonymous tip to Officer Friendly (if you can, get their "street names") and they will either leave or behave.

Careful on this though. Some folks don't like having a record of illegal activites. Imagine that :)
 
Pretending to be crazy and randomly opening your window and shooting while yelling about assasins might work, I'd use blanks if I were you (don't want to kill the neighbors)
 
Atomic Option

Of course you could deploy the ultimate:

Lawrence Welk's Greatest Polka Hits

Played VERY loud and directed in their direction...

Works well everywhere but North Dakota and Minnesota... of course you don't find as many goblins in ND.

FWIW

Chuck
 
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