I posted this elsewhere for the fun value:
Hit the deck! Man the guns! All hands stand by to repel boarders!
I live half a mile from the nearest house, at the end of ¾ mile of steep dirt drive, four wheel drive only when it’s wet, so anyone visiting does so deliberately. A couple months ago, a little before 3am, I awoke to realize I was not alone in the house. The assumption was that only bad guys would enter without knocking or otherwise announcing themselves. Benefiting from a full adrenaline dump, I set out to clear the house.
OH, Grunt!
Apparently, in coming home late and tired, I had not only failed to bolt the door, I also failed to fully latch it. When the rain started, the neighbor’s goats, which occasionally wander onto my land, took shelter by crowding onto my porch. Eventually there was enough crowding to drive the goat in the rear to press against the door, opening it. Well, an open porch not fully protected from wind and rain is not nearly as goat friendly as a warm house. Luckily, I cleared’em out before they relieved themselves or discovered the comforts of the leather sofa. The house did, however, smell of wet goat for the next few days and I got no more sleep that night.
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For the record, the phone is in the great room where the goats were and two legged predators would have been, had the invaders not been goats. Even if I had a phone in the bedroom, my location and my driveway make sheriff’s response times so long, assuming the deputy’s car actually makes it up the driveway, that the deputy will only confirm my success or failure at dealing with the situation. The options are limited to confronting the invader or bailing out the window and fleeing - I am not one for playing possum. I opted for shoes, glasses, the Streamlight, P226, and an extra high cap mag. Elapsed time to readiness may or may not have been adequate to have dealt with two legged invaders.
