45 or 40 caliber... newbie help

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I like them both but I carry a P229 in .40. The P229 really tames the snappy .40 to the point where I don't notice it anymore. On the other side of the coin, I fired a rental Steyr M40 the other day that hated the recoil on it. I'd probably go to the .45 if I had to use a gun that recoiled like that.
 
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