People always talk about, "oh it doesn't really matter, all that is important is the shot placement". Yeah, of course, but that isn't really what is important *to me*. I would just carry a .22 and go for head-shots if that's all that is important.
The key thing is what is your bullet gonna do if you don't hit him in the optimum spot. I like the knowledge that my heavier round is gonna give me more ability to shatter a bone(s) if I shoot at a "bad" angle. A 9mm will indeed bust up a bone, but as you start decreasing the angle that you hit the bone, the chance becomes more and more likely that it will skip off. A .45 allows for a measurable decrease in the angle that you can strike a bone and still break it.
I know that my rounds will give more opportunities to bust his body up- maybe shatter his pelvis or his femur, or shoulder blade. Perhaps a shot at an angle that hits a rib or sternum may bounce off that a .45 would break thru and get into the vital area.
Too bad dangerous encounters happen nothing at all like at your range or wherever you got your training. They will likely be desperate situations involving movement and perhaps physical contact. You will pull your gun and start firing at the center of mass and hope for the best. Maybe you'll be firing from the hip at close range at an upward angle or something like that. Training for the event is awesome and useful, but the fact is that most people lose their cool in these situations when that fight/flight response kicks in.
I imagine it's similar to getting into a serious fist-fight, at some level. The first few fights I got into, I was in a rage and just swinging like crazy and my normal thinking went to the wayside for a few minutes. After being in a few like that (some rough neihborhoods/schools/attitude growing up), I noticed that I would keep my cool and could actually think about what I was doing in the middle of the fight. Conversely, I saw/see many others get into fights and I can see them completely lose control as the powerful insticts take over. I'm not saying I'd be calm in a fire-fight, because I've never had one thank God, but my point still stands in regards to controlling emotions in a scary situation. You have to actually be exposed to that sort of activity to KNOW that you will perform.
You might THINK you are gonna shoot accurately and be in full control, but you're not. I'm sure battle-hardened soldiers experience that same sort of thing- after a few fire-fights they remain calmer and more efficient, despite being scared, because they've had their baptism by fire already and survived.
That's my theory, anyway. I think policeman are the ones that get more opportunites to stand a distance away and draw their weapons and get into their stances, but you can't go around drawing on everyone you think might be up to no good. Seems like on the occasions that you would be able to draw on someone and keep your magical 21-foot distance or whatever, there wouldn't be any shooting anyway.