If I had a compact 9mm that I liked and shot well, I would probably stick with it. Among my revolvers, with which I am more emotionally attached than some black semi-auto, my Chiefs Special 3" 36-1 would be my "best" along with a Ruger Sp101 in 32 H&R. For the magnums and big bores I want a bigger gun. My winter carry is a 3" GP100 converted to 6 shots of 41 Special. I have the luxury of a lot of leeway on how I dress to conceal, so my choices may be a wider range than for many others.
My most versatile is a 38 Special snubbie by Interarms Rossi 88 that has been worked to a really nice action. My gunsmith says the innards are identical to a Smith J-frame, not sure which model. I shoot mostly single action, so all but one of my guns has a hammer spur. My go bag gun is a 637 lightweight snub. While rated for +p, it is just too harsh to shoot with ammo that heavy.
I have small 357s but only because I can load lite in 357 cases. No way am I shooting anything heavier than Speer Short Barrel in those guns. I have enough choices that I never shoot anything but what matches the stamping on the barrel, so using 38 in a 357 is out of the question. I could have just bought a 38.
I too prefer guns that I can carry, but in your situation you might want to start with a range gun, something like a 4-6" 357 Magnum, a la a Smith 686 or a Ruger GP100..