mavracer: I had two feeding malfs in the first fifty rounds OTB, both with 185 gr. Silvertips. I switched to generic hardball for the remainder of the break-in period, totaling 250 rds, and had no other issues.
The manual specifically states that the DAO was designed to be used with hardball ammo. Mine runs fine with Federal Hydra-Shoks in 230 and 165 gr. "Personal Protection" loadings, as well as Speer Gold Dot 230's. I have no sure way of knowing whether this is typical, so I'd recommend that you test yours with at least 100 rds of any ammo you'd like to carry. If there are any malfs, either find out why and fix it, or switch to another load.
The trigger pull is very heavy, and there doesn't seem to be much that can be done about it. The geometry necessary to put a relatively conventional DA mechanism (one with a hammer rather than striker) into a heavy caliber semiauto this small doesn't offer much in the way of mechanical advantage. When you also consider the way that the resistance values in all of the various design elements have to interact for the package to be safe and reliable within a relatively wide range of ammo variables, the mainspring is going to have to be pretty stout. Put the two together and it doesn't add up to being able to get a nice, light DA pull without compromising something more important.
It takes some work, but once you learn to control the trigger keeping your shots inside the "A" zone inside of about 15 yds isn't too tough, even with just a channel in the slide for sights. At 7 to 10 yds, where we're told most defensive shots are fired, it's actually fairly easy with some practice.
Recoil isn't nearly as bad as one might fear given the caliber and diminutive size. It's quite controllable with a firm grip and stance, and the relatively low bore axis helps a good deal. The difference between 230 gr. and 185 gr. loads is very apparent, and you might want to try some if you have problems with hardball. The Federal 165 gr. load is a relative powderpuff, and if yours runs well with it it'd make a good CCW load, IMO.