tydephan
Member
Thanks JL.
I learn something new every day.
ccw and dating question
- Thread starter Ermac
- Start date
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Thanks JL.
I learn something new every day.
arthurcw
Member
I don't think it’s first date conversation. If she notices, then you treat is a no big deal sort of thing.
"Is that a gun!?"
"Oh, yeah. Sorry, I'm usually a lot better at keeping it concealed. I guess you are having an affect on me. Can't seem concentrate on the little things right now."
Then if she keeps going with the “Why's” and “Where fore’s”, you can give all the standard answers:
"I want to be able to protect myself and people I care about."
"Been doing it for years."
"It's like car insurance."
blah blah blah.
But you have too much to try and get to know to make that a first date issue.
After a couple of dates, if it looks promising, and if she hasn't noticed then you can say, "You know, I'm really feeling something for you. I just realized you may freak if you she something out of context and I don’t want you to get startled. I just wanted to let you know I have a CCW permit. So if you see my gun I don't want you to think I'm some kind of weirdo or I'm going to try something."
If she’s asks, “Why didn’t you tell me sooner!” You can reply, “Well, it’s a private thing and I don’t just tell anyone. But I’m feeling an attraction to you so I wanted to let you a little further in.” If she bolts after that, you are better off. If she is not a hoplophobe, she should at least see your side. If she can’t see your side, you are better off and only lost a couple of dates. Just consider it range time well spent.
But what do I know. I'm married 7 years to a woman who has laid claim to over half the safe. My powers over the opposite sex have diminished over the years.
"Is that a gun!?"
"Oh, yeah. Sorry, I'm usually a lot better at keeping it concealed. I guess you are having an affect on me. Can't seem concentrate on the little things right now."
Then if she keeps going with the “Why's” and “Where fore’s”, you can give all the standard answers:
"I want to be able to protect myself and people I care about."
"Been doing it for years."
"It's like car insurance."
blah blah blah.
But you have too much to try and get to know to make that a first date issue.
After a couple of dates, if it looks promising, and if she hasn't noticed then you can say, "You know, I'm really feeling something for you. I just realized you may freak if you she something out of context and I don’t want you to get startled. I just wanted to let you know I have a CCW permit. So if you see my gun I don't want you to think I'm some kind of weirdo or I'm going to try something."
If she’s asks, “Why didn’t you tell me sooner!” You can reply, “Well, it’s a private thing and I don’t just tell anyone. But I’m feeling an attraction to you so I wanted to let you a little further in.” If she bolts after that, you are better off. If she is not a hoplophobe, she should at least see your side. If she can’t see your side, you are better off and only lost a couple of dates. Just consider it range time well spent.
But what do I know. I'm married 7 years to a woman who has laid claim to over half the safe. My powers over the opposite sex have diminished over the years.
35Rem
Member
No one has brought up the obvious...
When she asks, "Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?"
Answer: "Yes."
When she asks, "Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?"
Answer: "Yes."
arthurcw
Member
And you thought bringing up CCW was a risk?
"Hi! Good to finally sit with you alone. Oh, BTW, you are probably wondering about "the tail"? Yeah. Well I'm a Furry. I usually keep it concealed but I wanted to be upfront about it. Where are you going?"
poor_richard
Member
- Joined
- Nov 12, 2006
- Messages
- 466
I agree with aurthercw that it isn’t a first date conversation. CCW is a very personal thing, and talking about it with a perspective mate is along the lines of discussing politics, religion, how many babies you want her to have, and marriage. Knowledge of all are important to a life long relationship, but are a little too intense for a first date. I find it interesting that a board that usually garners comments like “concealed is concealed”, is seeing advice that informing someone who is little more than a brief acquaintance about your carry habits is advisable.
I suspect this topic will fall along the lines of the question of whether you should tell someone you are CCW just because you are in their home. Some will agree, and some will disagree. I think it depends on the individuals involved. IOW, it’s your decision as you will be the one affected by the consequences of it.
I would say don’t bring it up, and don’t be too eager to “show your hand” so to speak. If the conversation somehow turns to the topic, don’t readily volunteer the info (probably best to keep the convo away from the topic), but if directly asked, treat it in a nonchalant manner, but not so much that you appear irresponsible. If she finds out later and feels betrayed, that is something you have to decide how you will handle. I personally don’t think the decision to CCW is something that warrants such emotion (I actually see it as a decision to take responsibility for one‘s own security), and have reservations about people who place such emotions on it. I believe that people who see it as a positive thing wouldn’t make such a big deal about it.
There are pros and cons to both sides of the argument of if you should tell someone you CCW. Both exhibit good points and bad points. Ultimately, you have to be confident with which side of the fence you sit upon.
I suspect this topic will fall along the lines of the question of whether you should tell someone you are CCW just because you are in their home. Some will agree, and some will disagree. I think it depends on the individuals involved. IOW, it’s your decision as you will be the one affected by the consequences of it.
I would say don’t bring it up, and don’t be too eager to “show your hand” so to speak. If the conversation somehow turns to the topic, don’t readily volunteer the info (probably best to keep the convo away from the topic), but if directly asked, treat it in a nonchalant manner, but not so much that you appear irresponsible. If she finds out later and feels betrayed, that is something you have to decide how you will handle. I personally don’t think the decision to CCW is something that warrants such emotion (I actually see it as a decision to take responsibility for one‘s own security), and have reservations about people who place such emotions on it. I believe that people who see it as a positive thing wouldn’t make such a big deal about it.
There are pros and cons to both sides of the argument of if you should tell someone you CCW. Both exhibit good points and bad points. Ultimately, you have to be confident with which side of the fence you sit upon.
Ala Dan
Member in memoriam
First, after making sure your weapon is VERY SECURE; be perfectly honest
with her, as she has the right to know. I believe that being honest will make
the date go very smoothly; and it might even present us with another hand
gunner, and possible THR member~!
with her, as she has the right to know. I believe that being honest will make
the date go very smoothly; and it might even present us with another hand
gunner, and possible THR member~!
tydephan
Member
No doubt. Notice...I didn't ask any more questions.
czbegenner
Member
We just got finished helping someone else , well you have better let her know
now (be honest) and see what she thinks about this situation.That way you
will know either she's a keeper or you keep looking and end this now.Dont want to fall for her and then have to choose girl or Guns??? (Hum we been down this road before,)
now (be honest) and see what she thinks about this situation.That way you
will know either she's a keeper or you keep looking and end this now.Dont want to fall for her and then have to choose girl or Guns??? (Hum we been down this road before,)
Autolycus
Member
Wait a few dates and take her to a shooting range. See how she feels then.
armedandsafe
Member
One of the reasons I enjoy this forum so much is that most of you agree with my opinions.
Do you care enough for this girl to be willing to come to her defense if necessary? Yes? Then carry.
Do you have enough self-respect to protect yourself in any and all venues? Yes? Then carry.
'Nuff said (IMO.)
Pops
Do you care enough for this girl to be willing to come to her defense if necessary? Yes? Then carry.
Do you have enough self-respect to protect yourself in any and all venues? Yes? Then carry.
'Nuff said (IMO.
)Pops
tydephan
Member
Keep us posted on how it goes. If you do breach the subject, I'm interested in her response and whether this turns into another "happily ever after."
Good luck.
stevelyn
Member
Be true to yourself first. If carrying and armed SD is part of who and what you are then you need to get it out in the open early......like the second date if she seems she can be trusted with the info. But don't forego carrying on the first date.
Don't change who or what you are in hopes trying to impress her now and deciding to visit the issue later.
Don't change who or what you are in hopes trying to impress her now and deciding to visit the issue later.
Joey_the_Wolf
Member
Well, personally, I'm only 21 so I don't have THAT many years of dealing with the fairer sex (I only started noticing girls when I was like 10-11 or so), but so far here's what I've learned. They seem to value honesty. So my advice is to be open and upfront about it. Think about it this way, you are dating someone because you like them, and potentially, that person may very well end up being the person you might spend the rest of your life with, so my theory is to be open and honest about things from the beginning, that way if it's not going to work out, it happens sooner rather than later before anyone gets too attached.
As far as girls and guns go, surprisingly, I've noticed that many females do in fact have an interest in guns, or can easily be "converted" to at least tolerating guns if you present them with logical facts in a clear, intelligent, non patronizing manner. A few examples. A few years ago, before I could even legally buy my own guns, or even had any guns, I was already very pro 2nd. I was about 16 and I my cousin who was 17 at the time was a card carrying NYU liberal. She still is, but thanks to talking to me alot, she sees why people own guns, and generally doesn't have a problem with them at all.
Fast forward to about 2 years ago. My ex fiancee (long story) was surprisingly VERY pro gun, and loved shooting. I was shy about talking to her about firearms at first, but after I learned that she was as big of a gunnie as I was, things went very well, at least in that area of our relationship...
And today, my good friend Kim (who is 20) is showing a very healthy interest in guns. The first time I took her out, was to a shooting range. Both her, AND her friend had a blast that day(pun intended), and she loves going shooting with me. I even talked her into getting a handgun of her own once she turns 21, and yesterday we were talking and one of the first things she asks me is "Hey Joe, when are we going shooting again?"
Even my own mom, who was VERY anti gun, now owns her own gun, and loves to go out shooting.
Yep. Truth be told, I've never really run into anyone who is a true anti and is closed minded. All of my friends have shown an interest in shooting when I bring it up, and this to me is encouraging, as most of my friends are in the 17 to 23 year old range (again, I'm just 21), and people of that age are tomorrow's voters/activists.
All one has to do is be open about it, present it as a normal, everyday thing (which it is), and not make a big deal out of it. If you present yourself as a sane, level headed, polite individual (which I am sure you are, just like most of THR members tend to be), then she shouldn't have a problem knowing that you are carrying, and will probably appreciate the fact that you are responsible enough to take charge of your own security, and the security of your loved ones. That's pretty admirable if you ask me.
As far as girls and guns go, surprisingly, I've noticed that many females do in fact have an interest in guns, or can easily be "converted" to at least tolerating guns if you present them with logical facts in a clear, intelligent, non patronizing manner. A few examples. A few years ago, before I could even legally buy my own guns, or even had any guns, I was already very pro 2nd. I was about 16 and I my cousin who was 17 at the time was a card carrying NYU liberal. She still is, but thanks to talking to me alot, she sees why people own guns, and generally doesn't have a problem with them at all.
Fast forward to about 2 years ago. My ex fiancee (long story) was surprisingly VERY pro gun, and loved shooting. I was shy about talking to her about firearms at first, but after I learned that she was as big of a gunnie as I was, things went very well, at least in that area of our relationship...
And today, my good friend Kim (who is 20) is showing a very healthy interest in guns. The first time I took her out, was to a shooting range. Both her, AND her friend had a blast that day(pun intended), and she loves going shooting with me. I even talked her into getting a handgun of her own once she turns 21, and yesterday we were talking and one of the first things she asks me is "Hey Joe, when are we going shooting again?"
Even my own mom, who was VERY anti gun, now owns her own gun, and loves to go out shooting.
Yep. Truth be told, I've never really run into anyone who is a true anti and is closed minded. All of my friends have shown an interest in shooting when I bring it up, and this to me is encouraging, as most of my friends are in the 17 to 23 year old range (again, I'm just 21), and people of that age are tomorrow's voters/activists.
All one has to do is be open about it, present it as a normal, everyday thing (which it is), and not make a big deal out of it. If you present yourself as a sane, level headed, polite individual (which I am sure you are, just like most of THR members tend to be), then she shouldn't have a problem knowing that you are carrying, and will probably appreciate the fact that you are responsible enough to take charge of your own security, and the security of your loved ones. That's pretty admirable if you ask me.
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