Redneck with a 40 said:
I really hope I can have a nice, friendly Christmas weekend with my family, as I enjoy this holiday and time spent with family. I just hope my brother will leave the topic of guns alone, I hope he does not bring it up! If he leaves the subject alone, it should be an ok weekend. It'll be interesting to see if he reacts to the sight of my reloading bench in the basement, as he is sure to go down there to see our new sauna. I've got bullets, primers, brass, and powder all in plain sight and I'm not going to hide it, just because he is coming to the house.
I think it’s naïve to think that he will leave the topic alone, particularly since
YOU’RE not leaving it alone. You say that you don’t want a confrontation and yet your reloading bench is the stage that you‘ve set for precisely that. It’s okay that you leave it up but don’t kid yourself (or anyone else) about your truest intentions – to provoke an argument that you feel you can and
must win.
Look we all know that people like this exist, and that they pollute the air with every word they utter against things they do not understand and thus, fear. The trouble is that this is like an argument over religion – there’s nothing rational about it. The only way to steer clear of the dispute is to follow two rules. First, do not instigate a renewal of the dispute and second, do not tolerate HIS instigation of the dispute. If he brings it up you give him ONE warning that you’re not in the mood.
You say, "I will say this only once. We are not here today to debate our differences on this topic. That is for a different time and place. I expect you to heed my wishes in my home."
Be sincere – and SERIOUS - in your request that he leave it alone. Be aware though that your credibility will rest on
your efforts to keep the subject beneath the waves.
So it really all boils down to this: Quit being stubborn and either dismantle the reloading bench or leave the sauna out of the program “out of respect” for their preferences on certain matters. I’m sure they’ll understand. Finally, use your mouth and ears in the proportion to which they are installed if the subject comes up. This is truly a case of less being more. The less you say, the more
they will appear to have said, and the more reasonable (and gracious) you will appear to have been as a host.
I suspect you'll know what to do about future invites or hosting opportunities if you take the high road this time. Seems appropriate - considering the site this is posted on, doesn't it?
s