Christmas with my anti-gun family

Status
Not open for further replies.
I have already hidden the gun magazines in the interest of avoiding a confrontation. However, the reloading bench stays put.:D It would take me several hours to dismantle my setup, I'm not doing that for the sake of a few hours of family time.

Next time I'm at my brother's house, I should carry concealed, he'd never know it was there. I have a Colorado CCW.:evil:

I've already sent my brother several gun facts print-outs from the internet and I directed him to the website www.gunfacts.info. I hope he was open minded enough to look at it, but I have my doubts.
 
Just tell him "Hey my guns live here and you are just visiting so shut up!"
Click to expand...

hee hee, that's great!

i have similar problems with most of my family, very "progressive" not just on gun issues but welfare, etc. i know i'm not going to change their minds, and God knows they won't change mine...so i just look at my wife and say:" wow, how 'bout them Giants this year, babe? Think Bonds will ever break the record?" It took awhile but even my Dad gets the message and we talk about something else...
 
I have had this problem before with inlaws. My wife isnt anti but her folks sure are :confused: . Either way we had her family over one Thanksgiving for the first and last time. I have a Savage 1911 that was my Grandfathers WWII sidearm. I love that gun and I am as proud of it as a man can be of an inanimate object. I normally keep it on the wall (unloaded of course) in a nice shadow box along with his medals, and service ribbons. Well either way the :cuss: of a mother in law (we have never managed to get along) strolls in and notices it for the first time. I caught her eyeing it and before I had a chance to say anything she has the nerve to ask me why I would endanger my family by having an "implement of death" lying around. She then proceeded to tell me that I was an terrible parent to even keep guns in a home with children and demanded that I remove it from her sight or she would leave. I never said a word just smiled, walked quietly to the door, opened it, and made an outward sweeping gesture with my hand. They have not been back to our home since nor are they welcome. My advice is your a grown man living in your own home so do as you damn well please. Guest that over step their boundries need not be tolorated family or not.
 
I agree with those advising you to stay above the fight. Your brother sounds like a condescending liberal asshat. Let him be his own bad example. Do as your father asks, and stash the gun magazines somewhere. That's just being a good host, and not wimping out.

Does this mean take down the mounted deer heads and put the mounted pheasant and squrril in the attic?
 
I've had this one too. When it was important to keep the peace I said to the offending party, "Look, I'll debate you on the issue some other time if it's really important to you, but I don't want to break up a nice get together by fighting about this. Do you?"
Click to expand...

I really like this approach too. Makes him the A-Hole if he persists. At most, you can put the magazines away, simply as part of tidying up the house for guests, but I would go NO further. If you bend over backwards to accomodate, brother and sister-in-law may well be emboldened to go on the offense even more rabidly.

If it were me, I certainly would not bring up the topic. If the tactic quoted above does not work and it degenerates, I think you have to be prepared to ask them to excuse themselves.

After the holidays, then you can let loose with some broadsides of your own. We can't win this battle by simply staying on the defensive all the time.

Let us know how it all goes.
 
My advice is you're a grown man living in your own home so do as you damn well please. Guests that over step their boundries need not be tolerated family or not.
Click to expand...

Well said.
 
Redneck with a 40 said:
I really hope I can have a nice, friendly Christmas weekend with my family, as I enjoy this holiday and time spent with family. I just hope my brother will leave the topic of guns alone, I hope he does not bring it up! If he leaves the subject alone, it should be an ok weekend. It'll be interesting to see if he reacts to the sight of my reloading bench in the basement, as he is sure to go down there to see our new sauna. I've got bullets, primers, brass, and powder all in plain sight and I'm not going to hide it, just because he is coming to the house.
Click to expand...
I think it’s naïve to think that he will leave the topic alone, particularly since YOU’RE not leaving it alone. You say that you don’t want a confrontation and yet your reloading bench is the stage that you‘ve set for precisely that. It’s okay that you leave it up but don’t kid yourself (or anyone else) about your truest intentions – to provoke an argument that you feel you can and must win.

Look we all know that people like this exist, and that they pollute the air with every word they utter against things they do not understand and thus, fear. The trouble is that this is like an argument over religion – there’s nothing rational about it. The only way to steer clear of the dispute is to follow two rules. First, do not instigate a renewal of the dispute and second, do not tolerate HIS instigation of the dispute. If he brings it up you give him ONE warning that you’re not in the mood.

You say, "I will say this only once. We are not here today to debate our differences on this topic. That is for a different time and place. I expect you to heed my wishes in my home."

Be sincere – and SERIOUS - in your request that he leave it alone. Be aware though that your credibility will rest on your efforts to keep the subject beneath the waves.

So it really all boils down to this: Quit being stubborn and either dismantle the reloading bench or leave the sauna out of the program “out of respect” for their preferences on certain matters. I’m sure they’ll understand. Finally, use your mouth and ears in the proportion to which they are installed if the subject comes up. This is truly a case of less being more. The less you say, the more they will appear to have said, and the more reasonable (and gracious) you will appear to have been as a host.

I suspect you'll know what to do about future invites or hosting opportunities if you take the high road this time. Seems appropriate - considering the site this is posted on, doesn't it?

s
 
Last edited:
I agree with the "time and place for everything and this is neither the time nor the place for this discussion" Attitude.
Follow that approach and you come off as the more reasonable of the two protagonists. Antagonizing and or goading the issue is absolutely more damaging to your argument than his.
Finally, using the "My house and if you don't like it leave" card should be reserved for your protagonists refusal to respect your right to table the issue in light of the Holiday. Unfortunately this requires a level of patience that I am likely to be lacking, and only aspire to. I have managed to pull it off once in awhile so I can tell you it is extremely gratifying to accomplish.
P.S. You can always set Ground Rules prior to a gathering like this so you don't have to deal with it During.
 
Last edited:
Jeep-2 was asking
>Does this mean take down the mounted deer heads
> and put the mounted pheasant and squrril in the
> attic?

Nope. They fit in with leaving the gun over the mantle. It's his house. One can go to simple steps to accomodate company though, and I don't think putting the gun mags away as his father requested is unreasonable. I've been in one home where a couple with small children kept "Playboy" on the living room coffee table. I wasn't offended, (I'm a guy..,) but in my head, I had to question their judgement.
Marty
 
Well, I'm certainly thankful I don't have to deal with such a problem. I only have one brother and he shares my love of firearms ownership, hunting, shooting and handloading. I have a sister who's husband is just like my brother and me and is bringing my nephew up likewise. However, I do have a sister who has no fondness of firearms whatsoever. She's intelligent enough though to respect the way the rest of the family chooses to live and doesn't make an issue of it. As far as my father goes, he's more interested in "seeing the new piece you just bought" and wouldn't dream of telling any of us gun enthusiasts to hide any firearms related items from the view of anyone just to appear to be "politically correct".

IMO: If your brother can't accept the way you live your life than he's the "little man" of the family, shows no respect for you and doesn't have to be present in your home. It's not like someone is putting a gun to his head (pun intended) and trying to convert him to your way of thinking and living when he does come into your home.

It's certainly up to you whether or not to play the part of a hypocrite and "hide" things from him and his family in fear of offending them or just to appear politically correct. Yeah, if you did, some say that this would be you being the "bigger person" or you "taking the high road".... really?... wouldn't that just as easily be you copping out from who you really are, taking the easy path, selling yourself and your values out?

Go out of your way to put it in his face? No, absolutely not. Pick up some gun magazines? Sure. Going so far as to hide your loading equipment etc.? No way. He should be able to just accept you for who you are and keep his mouth shut. If he decides he can't extend you that courtesy as a your brother and a guest in your home then maybe he should be shown the door.
 
Lots of opinions here, but if it were my brother, I would call him ahead of time and explain in a very polite but direct manner that he is coming to your house. I would say something like this:

"You are coming to my house, and you will respect my lifestyle while you are in it. If you cannot do that, then do not come. Merry Christmas."

You do not have to hide anything, but on the other hand I would not go out of the way to provoke a response. In other words, don't go to any trouble to hide the reloading stuff, but put the magazines away. but if he cannot respect your home and the spirit of a family gathering, he is the bad guy, not you. Don't back down to him.

We have a similar relative in the family who has publicly jumped all over me for all sorts of things that she hates. She hates guns, Christians, conservatives, and strong male personalities. She has been told very bluntly that she is not welcome in our home, and that we will not be coming to hers. The rest of the family understands, and some have secretly expressed admiration that someone actually stood up to her crap.


Edit in:
As an example, this weekend I'm under orders from my dad to hide all of my gun magazines, make sure my guns are hidden and un-loaded, just to avoid a confrontation.
Click to expand...

I already mentioned the magazines, but when people are in my home, all the guns are locked up except the one I have on my person. Just because someone hates guns doesn't mean they won't pick one up and do something really stupid - not to mention dangerous!
 
Hmm i cant really give you real life experience as my family is pro gun and im an only child. but here is some thoughts and opinions:


Your brother sounds like a very arrogant bully IMHO. This is your house and not only should he not attack you in your house,and your family should not have family gathering at your house and then dictate how you should live. The only real thing that they should have a say in is if you have guns thrown haphazardly and dangerously around people who apparently know very little about guns.

I would personally have a very stern,calm conversation with your brother saying basically

" This is my house, do not attack me in it or you are not welcome in it. I dont go over to your house and yell at you about your inability to protect your family and your befuddling reliance on others to protect what you most charish"

Human relationships work best when there are boundaries, and the best way to deal with arrogance and bullies is to deflate their self importance and talk to them in a calm voice. Using big words to speak eloquently is also good.

All in all i wouldnt hope that your brother and his wife dont ruin your family get together, i would take action to make sure things go smoothly. After all families are all about accepting everyone in the said family and love.

I dont think your brother practices either.....
 
Before I got into guns myself (2 years ago), I stayed at the cabin of my (now ex) gf's family. The gf's dad keep a loaded 44mag and SKS on the gun rack in the cabin. I asked him about how safe it was to keep the guns loaded in a VERY polite manner, and he replied "They're not much use if they aren't loaded, and besides, they only go bang when you pull the trigger".

Made perfect sense to me, and I never had a problem with loaded firearms near me from that point on. In fact, that guy reintroduced me into shooting the next day, and a month later, I bought my first gun :)

Moral of the story: I can understand someone asking a polite question if there are firearms openly present, but they should use some common sense. Freaking out over a magazine, mounted firearm in a case, etc, is just plain retarded.
 
You should put out some car magazines where he is bound to see them. Then, appologize profusely to him for leaving "magazines about those insensitive death machines" out, making sure to mention to him how more people are killed by vehicles each year than guns. You may also want to leave a cutlary magazine (that sells kichen knives) out and do the same with that magazine, noting how knives are also "tools" that some use to kill. Maybe with enough sarcasm he will get the point.
 
De-gun mag your home for the sake of familial harmony. Throw a sheet over your reloading equipment.
Click to expand...

:cuss: That is exactly the attitude that the law abiding citizens of the gun community have as a whole. Let's hide our evil dirty guns so they won't offend or scare the sheople. Keep 'em in the closet - maybe then the sheople won't notice 'em and will leave us alone.

Oh it's OK for them to deride and excoriate gun owners and enthusiasts because we're just so darn tolerant. We can't fight back because we're just so darn tolerant. We can't exercise our 1st amendment rights because we're just so darn tolerant.

Freedom isn't for us because it might upset others and WE'RE JUST SO DARN TOLERANT.

That hasn't worked for the past 67 years and it will not work now.

As long as we hide our guns, our thoughts and our attitudes about them nothing will change and the day WILL come when the Police DO come to get them. AND WE'LL LET 'EM! WE'RE JUST SO DARN TOLERANT .

Yep - see no evil, speak no evil and hear no evil. That'll work.
 
Zen, I'm sure you realize that sarcasm is utterly useless on those kinder, smarter, wiser, more compassionate liberal gun bigots.

They are the annointed.

Just ask 'em.

--Travis--
 
Wow, that is really silly. So your got the bug and had it transferred from your dad to you and your brother turned into a socialist? WTH

I would not keep the peace however. This is one of my favorite phrases: flectere si nequeo superos, Achaeronta movebo ("If I cannot move heaven I will raise hell") Its your home you should do what you want. If he gives you grief remind him that its your guns that will protect him and his family if a BG was to interrupt your christmas festivities. That should shut him up...probably..



That is exactly the attitude that the law abiding citizens of the gun community have as a whole. Let's hide our evil dirty guns so they won't offend or scare the sheople. Keep 'em in the closet - maybe then the sheople won't notice 'em and will leave us alone.

Oh it's OK for them to deride and excoriate gun owners and enthusiasts because we're just so darn tolerant. We can't fight back because we're just so darn tolerant. We can't exercise our 1st amendment rights because we're just so darn tolerant.

Freedom isn't for us because it might upset others and WE'RE JUST SO DARN TOLERANT.

That hasn't worked for the past 67 years and it will not work now.

As long as we hide our guns, our thoughts and our attitudes about them nothing will change and the day WILL come when the Police DO come to get them. AND WE'LL LET 'EM! WE'RE JUST SO DARN TOLERANT .

Yep - see no evil, speak no evil and hear no evil. That'll work.
Click to expand...

nice thats exactly the communities problem as of late.
 
One thing I have noticed about progressives. In the process of "freeing" themselves of our male dominated culture they have also freed themselves of the type of social courtesy that kept us civil.

I would discuss the expected courtesy of a guest in my home instead of the gun question.
 
My son in law and his wife are a couple of liberial, retro- hippies. They came out to visit us. My wifes son asked my wife to hide (store else where) my guns. My wife asked me to do so. I didn't comply. I did make safe the various weapon for home defense because of the grand daughter (3 yrs). While they were here I walked by my gun cabinet and saw it was covered by a sheet. I let it ride in the interest of peace and harmony. Now when we visit with them I hear nothing about guns and I carry there. They even let me store my shotgun in the house when I was going dove hunting with my daughter. Sometimes giving a little can acheive a lot.

But a man has to do what man has to do!

Semper Fi
 
One thing I have noticed about progressives. In the process of "freeing" themselves of our male dominated culture they have also freed themselves of the type of social courtesy that kept us civil.
Click to expand...

More like the castration.

I dont change my habits and I wont hide my hobby. I don't willingly bring the subject up, but if it should arise I will not hesitate to put some 'socialist progressive hippy" in their place. (especially in my own damn home)

I hope he does not have the confrontation with his hippy brother but dont back down and "stick to your guns".
 
Its funny that many people believe that only Liberals are anti-RKBA. In fact I would bet there is a good % of conservatives that are equally, anti-gun. For example the famous Mrs. Brady is a Republican and quite conservative on many issues. In my family I have a two cousins who are very conservative(Rush Limbaugh listening), both served in the military for several years, one was a Warrant Officer and they are as anti gun as you can get. Heck I know more liberals that own guns that conservatives.

Anyway it is best not too talk about politics during the holidays especially with family.
 
It really boils down to how far are you willing to go in order to keep the peace?
If it were me, I would stash the magazines. (That is just polite anyway.:) ) And possibly throw a sheet over the reloading bench.
But that is about as far as I would go. And then after Christmas is over and everyone is back to their happy routines, but well before the next visit. I would explain that it is my home and while I will try to be a most gracious host, all guests (family or not) will be asked to show my household some respect. Since I was kind enough to allow them into my home.:)
Sometimes people (especially family) do not have a clue as to how rude they really are.:eek:
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Similar threads

X
  • Locked
My rabidly anti-gun/liberal brother is visiting tomorrow
2 3 4
Replies
99
Views
5K
SixForSure
S
L
  • Locked
Can you influence your kids to like shooting?
2
Replies
41
Views
2K
Jaybird78
J
S
  • Locked
Anti's Can Be Converted
Replies
19
Views
812
LoneCoon
L
A
  • Locked
Anyone had an anti-gun family?
2
Replies
36
Views
2K
gamestalker
G
B
  • Locked
The joys of family
Replies
1
Views
362
Randy in Arizona
R
Back
Top