Dating and CCW

Status
Not open for further replies.
T

The Unknown User

Member
Joined
Apr 28, 2007
Messages
712
I have about two months until my 21st birthday. :)

However, I had a rather scary thought: what if I have a date, or a lady friend, or any other synonym for a female companion. How does one let them know that you carry? It's unfortunate that in today's society, a gun is often viewed as a symbol of death and pain rather than a tool that ensures one's safety and freedom, but that's just the way it is.

So, if you have any stories to share, or any advice, I'd love to hear it. I'm curious how others have gone about saying "Hey, babe, I carry a loaded gun."

Oh, and welcome back, THR. :)
 
All is fine and well if you are just upfront with them if they leave they are saving you alot of head aches please trust me on that one! just be sure which gun your (fill in the blank) is going for!
 
Heh. You'll get a pretty wide range of opinions on that, no doubt.

For my part, I likely wouldn't carry "on-body" around her at first until I felt out what her politics are. I'd just stick to safer areas, carry a knife, and keep the pistol in the vehicle. But that's me.

Realistically, even if shes very "pro-gun", it may be still be somewhat of a surprise to find out you're armed. How you handle that will be the real test. My advice is that if/when she finds out, act as if it hadn't crossed your mind. Something like... she says, "You carry a gun?", and you say, with a mildly surprised but disconnected look, "Hmm? Sure do. So, what do you want to do next?"

Basically, act as if carrying is the norm, and not being armed is weird to you. But your response should be nonchalant. Your perceived comfort with the issue will, hopefully, translate into her comfort with the issue.


-T.
 
Ask for the date, when they say yes, tell them then that you carry and if they would have any objections. If they object, you have to decide right then if you yourself are able "sacrafice" to NOT carry on the date or tell them thanks for accepting but your beliefs in self-armament carry is fundamently more important to you at this time.

Firearms are not like Herpes, where you may have time to wait to tell them about it.
 
I'd wait awhile to say that I carry. Many people have a strong, visceral reaction that they would handle much better in the context of having known you for other facts and qualities. You might even win someone over who would've split otherwise when they see that you do not fit the stereotype.
 
How does one let them know that you carry? It's unfortunate that in today's society, a gun is often viewed as a symbol of death and pain rather than a tool that ensures one's safety and freedom, but that's just the way it is.
Click to expand...

If the first date goes well then invite them to go shooting sometime, gauge their reaction, and go from there. The best second date I ever had was where we went handgun shooting with a picnic.

If the first date goes bad then it doesn't really matter.
 
[quote name='Border' date='Mar 3 2008, 01:07 AM' post='4256938&postcount=7']
I'd wait awhile to say that I carry. Many people have a strong, visceral reaction that they would handle much better in the context of having known you for other facts and qualities. You might even win someone over who would've split otherwise when they see that you do not fit the stereotype.
[/quote]

If you didn't them up front, and they were the visceral type, imagine what would happen if they saw just a glimpse of the weapon one, two three hours into the date or at the start of potential "blue-b@%%" stage.
 
I'd forget about girls and get a faithful dawg , old truck and have a good time living life.

Dawgs don't care if you CCW or not.
They will get all hot and bothered if you have a long gun, heck even a long gun case in hand.

Dawgs are unconditional, you might forget the treats, get low on dawg food, come home late...it does not matter, dawgs forgive and let it go and do not bring it back up later.

Dawgs actually like the toilet seat left up, comes in handy when you forget to fill the water bowl.

Girls...listen, if you want to waste money on a gal, just buy a dozen roses, or box of chocolate, and hand to the first gal on the street.
Just smile and "here, you are on Candid Camera" and walk away.


I suggest gals get a dawg instead of dating guys too.
Guys are such a pain in the backside! I ought to know- I "are" one.


*grin*
 
sm, obviously you have not met my dog. he hates guns. if he see's one he runs under the computer desk. just racking a bolt sends him in to a tizzy.

be honest and treat it like a normal thing. if she can't deal with it, then she's not the girl for you.
 
My friend, his girlfriend and I all took our CCW class together, sent off the paperwork around the same time, but he got his first of all of us. He didn't tell her he got it. He just strapped up his Hi-Power IWB, threw a flannel shirt on over it, and let her find it for herself...:evil: She was surprised, but it was a good surprise.
 
Guys, it's like riding a motorcycle. If I ever met a girl that didn't want to ride or want me to ride it becomes a pretty quick by-by. It is all part of a lifestyle that you are either willing or not willing to give up.

Thank you know who that my wife is up on all these things. I knew she liked bikes but the guns came later and she was cool with that too.
 
I would be upfront honest with her. That is what i would do. I am very picky about complete honesty in relationships. Luckily for me, my girl doesnt mind if i carry, she just requested that i keep it put away, and i am happy to oblige
(sp?) unless it is deemed necessary to draw.

"Hey, babe, I carry a loaded gun."
Click to expand...

Might i suggest you dont say this? :D I would recommend something along the lines of, "I'm carrying a concealed pistol". I know, my mind is in a dirty place...:D
 
I guess there are a couple things you could do. If you've known her for a while, find a way to work guns into a conversation, like mentioning that you're going to a shooting range or gun show over the weekend. Conceivably, you could even just ask her if she minds if you carry.

I don't know; I only recently got my CHP and haven't asked anyone out in the interim. I guess I'd carry something small like a P-3AT, Mini-Revolver, or PM9 IWB the first few times until I can gauge her likely reaction. If that works, I can move up to something closer to full-sized. I've nearly been mugged while walking with a past girlfriend, lived in Blacksburg last year, and even carried (openly) a handgun while an escaped murderer was on the loose in town. If a girl's not willing to let me defend the people I care about, I'm going to have to make some hard choices about pursuing her.
 
Ask for the date, when they say yes, tell them then that you carry and if they would have any objections. If they object, you have to decide right then if you yourself are able "sacrifice" to NOT carry on the date or tell them thanks for accepting but your beliefs in self defense and the defense of those you love is fundamently more important to you at this time.
Click to expand...
There - fixed it for you.

That said: to reiterate what others have stated if you want to save your self and the girl a lot of potential future heartache do not hide from her that you carry, that you believe in the right to keep and bear arms and that they are important issues to you.

Unless of course you're just trying to - well - we'll just leave that unsaid. This is the High Road afterall.
 
The easiest solution is for your first date to be a trip to the shooting range. If she objects, says she "hates" guns, or whatever, then you know not to waste your time with her anymore.

When my wife and I were dating, that's what I did. Well, it wasn't our first date, but it was one of the early dates that I took her shooting. However, she knew I was "into" guns from the beginning, before we even started dating in fact.

We have now been together for almost 17 years. She still isn't really "into" guns, she rarely comes shooting with me, but she understands why I own them.
 
Just say "yes, that's a pistol in my pocket.........but I'm still glad to see you".

I've been married 24 years, I'm not the person to ask. My wife usually has a G-17 in her car, and a Kel-Tec in her pocket.
 
There are definitely two sides to this.

On the one hand, you can wait awhile and hope that if she is anti or at least not comfortable with it, the time spent with you thus far will help her get over it. Then again, it might not, and you've wasted X amount of time.

The other approach is brutal honesty very early on. This is my approach. That doesn't mean walking up to a cute girl and saying "Hi, I'm Nick and I carry a concealed handgun. Wanna go out?" What I do is evaluate how the first date is going and, if I think I want to see her again, I will try to turn the conversation toward something where mention of my CCW can come up very naturally - Something like all the recent victim disarmament zone killings. Not only does that allow a way to bring up CCW somewhat casually, but it also puts you in a very good position to rationalize carrying.

Just my $0.02, but it's got me with shooters every time. The one I'm with now loves playing at the range, want's to get a CCW and carry the BTA90 9mm I bought her, and is pushing me for a pink or red clad AR-15.

100_0452.gif

As an aside, the gal in the background on the left is the only female I've ever seen smiling after unloading my .454 SRH with full house 300 gr. handloads.:eek:
 
Do you have a cat? Will you abandon the cat for her?
Do you have a dog? Will you abandon the dog for her?
If your answer is yes to either of those quetions, you are not a very loyal person, and she has you by .................. Your life will be misery.
 
I never tell, she will find out on her own at some point. If she has a problem with me carrying, she can either get over it or she can hit the road. Thats the way it is with me.
 
Do you have a cat? Will you abandon the cat for her?
Do you have a dog? Will you abandon the dog for her?
If your answer is yes to either of those questions, you are not a very loyal person, and she has you by .................. Your life will be misery.
Click to expand...

Sometimes, a good woman is worth some changes to your life.

I'm not suggesting guns is one of those. But other sacrifices, or tolerances (like a tiger-striped chaise lounge... grrrr!), are often insignificant compared to a good lady backing you up.

Accommodations can usually be made if the right chemistry is there. If she is unrelenting, then she is by default not a good woman. If you are unrelenting, then you are by default not a good man. In either case, the chemistry obviously isn't there anyway.


-T.
 
I've said it in the past, I'll say it again.
Some things in life are "preferences". Other things are basic to what makes you "YOU". Dating doesn't just help you learn about the other person, it helps you learn about you.

In my particular case firearms ownership, including the personal standards of responsibility as well as the enjoyment I get from shooting sports, is a basic part of who I am. I was gently but consistently very clear about this to several girlfriends in the past. Some of them were okay with the idea so we gave it a try, others weren't and we moved on pretty much immediately. (One "said" she was okay...but then tried a lot of passive-aggressive games to make me get rid of all firearms... took a while to figure out and then out she went!).

Rob87, the best think I can suggest is that you make an actual list with two columns one is stuff that is integral to you, things you are not willing to alter because doing so would be giving up "you". The other is stuff that is "preference" but open to modification or elimination. Keep that list and refer to it from time to time and see how the relationship is shaping up. You'll know what to do then.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Similar threads

W
  • Locked
Dating, Marriage, and Guns
2 3
Replies
66
Views
3K
444
4
B
  • Locked
Back to dating. what to do about CCW?
2
Replies
44
Views
2K
EarlofSandwich
E
E
  • Locked
ccw and dating question
2
Replies
38
Views
2K
Joey_the_Wolf
J
T
  • Locked
Taking a CCW gun on a first date.
2 3
Replies
70
Views
3K
Spreadfire Arms
S
C
  • Locked
CCW...and dating?
2 3
Replies
55
Views
3K
.45FMJoe
4
Back
Top