Disarmed...

[Impureclient]

Never thought this day would come. Well it happened. I'm ready to walk out the door to my mom's for dinner and called her just in case if I needed to grab anything at the last second on the way there. All good but then she says my stepfather needs to tell me something. He gets on the phone and says he doesn't want me bringing my gun for dinner. These are the same people that had some drugged up kid banging at their door, jumped their fence to try get in and eventually tacked outside in the driveways when the police finally arrived. He starts getting into all this how the gun could go off by itself or fall and go off. Facepalm....really? Then how he's not impressed with firearms even though he fired them a little when he was younger.

Here I am ready to buy them one of their own due to situations like the drugged up psycho recently and they are doing this. He even said I am coming to Thanksgiving dinner and not going into Baghdad? Yes because that's why we all carry, when we are going into battle in a war zone. I guess they forgot why I'm carrying now due to the ex-con who tried pushing his way into my truck when I was picking up pizza. The amazing part is that I thought that as people get older, they become more wise.

Obviously I said no problem but I just can't believe they are "those" people" now. I am just so infuriated right now but I'm not going to ruin Thanksgiving and just comply. I guess after this I will have to teach them the lesson that if I go somewhere, so does my wallet, keys, phone and gun. After this I guess I am not welcome in their home any more because nobody is going to tell me my safety is not a concern. This is so ridiculous. I am just so fumed I can't even think straight right now.

 

[ChaoSS]

So don't go. If they call and ask where you are politely inform them that if they choose to insult you, to act as though you would be intentionally putting them in danger, to make condescending remarks, you don't feel the need to hang out with them.

 

[Double Naught Spy]

Their house, their rules. It is that simple. Be fumed if you want, but you would not have it any other way at your house, somebody bringing in something that really bothered you.

 

[strat1962]

My sister in law told me the same thing last summer, I don't visit them anymore, at least not at their house...

 

[g.willikers]

So, what's the big deal?
Go to their house for dinner, wear your gun concealed (very concealed), and if they see it just say you're so used to having it that you forgot.
Like you never lied to your parents before?

 

[J-Bar]

Go. Enjoy the meal and fellowship. Be nice.

Next week take your stepfather out for coffee and a donut and a conversation.

 

[230RN]

Well, don't refuse to go and tell them why.

No sense starting a rift between Mom and Stepdad on the matter. Disarm, secure it in the car per local regs, and don't foul up a holiday on account of that.

And don't pull one of those passive-aggressive stunts by leaving the holster on your belt.

I understand your desire to have protection, I'm with you there. I'm just as passionate about having a gun on me as are some people who don't want one in their house.

Or get an ankle holster.

Be smart.

"All good but then she says my stepfather needs to tell me something. He gets on the phone and says he doesn't want me bringing my gun for dinner."

By the way, how did he get to know you carried.... did you tell him?

Terry

 

[ConstitutionCowboy]

Ask them if THEY are going to provide you with protection.

Ask them what they'll be using to carve the turkey; a dangerous knife that could spring out of their hands and stab someone in the heart?

It's their ignorance and it's making them out to be imbeciles. (Sometimes the truth hurts.)

Woody

 

[Sam1911]

Normally this is where I'd say, "this is why we don't discuss our carry guns with others..." But it is family so not talking about it may be an opportunity long past.

Personally, I'm not the sort to make this as a simple non-issue. If they thought so highly of me as to make a special call to discuss that matter, I'd think enough of them to wish them a happy day, politely let them know they'll have a few extra left overs this year, and spend the day doing something more fun. YOU didn't ruin turkey day. They made the call.

Life's too short to waste on minor stressors like this. Holidays are enough grief without suffering through someone else's silliness.

 

[chris in va]

Just go and leave the gun in the car.

Seriously, it's not that necessary to carry a gun everywhere.

 

[230RN]

^ chris in va said it better than I did.

 

[jlr1962]

I say you did the right thing and went to dinner. I know that a concealed weapon would not be allowed in any relative's home. The family does know some cops. They get a free pass. We drink when we get together. I don't handle guns at all when I drink.

 

[huntsman]

Deeeeeep concealment, I see no need to mention my little "friend" in my pocket to anybody.

 

[simonstough]

I left both my guns in the car at the family dinner today. Not because they asked me to but because i dont want little kids banging their face into my .45. Private residence, private rules, sorry.

 

[jim8115]

I would politely decline to attend, but thats just me.............

 

[mnrivrat]

I'm with Sam1911 on this matter.

I would not give up my principles ,and self protection, for a Turkey dinner.

I would also not express anger toward them. It is their house, and they have the right to make the rules there.

I would simply thank them for inviting you, and explain that their rule is something you disagree with, and that would make you uncomfortable. Maybe suggest having your get togethers at other places like restraunts, or parks.

 

[Neo-Luddite]

Just a hunch, not to overreach or anything 'cause I'm just one of the many dudes here on THR, but I'd bet this has little to nothing about the CCW and is a surface manifestation of some deeper interpersonal issue between you and your Step-Dad. Just guessing.
Sorry it was an issue in your holiday today, but glad you made your own best call on the deal for yourself and family harmony. You can only do that for yourself.

Today at my inlaws I excused myself after dinner out back to pop off a couple mags with my 'new' Romanian Tokarev--worked nicely! I'm a lucky guy I guess. Hope it worked out for you today!

 

[Normandy]

My in-laws say they always feel safe when I'm around, because I always have a pistol in my pocket, and I know how to shoot!
But yes, their house, their rules. I'd be tempted to go deep concealed anyhow. Chances are very good no situation will come up that gives me away.

 

[Grub Master]

Be thankful that you were able to have dinner with your Mom.
I'd give most anything to have one more dinner with mine.

 

[Berger.Fan222]

The whole step dad thing is bad enough. A step dad insisting that a grown step son disarm is too far. I'd stop visiting. It won't be long before your mom cuts him off of the fringe benefits and you are back to being respected.

 

[tarosean]

Don't sweat the small stuff.

 

[420Stainless]

Since I don't know your stepfather I can't really place this into context. If he was someone I felt I owed respect, someone who sacrificed to raise me or would do anything for me, I would comply with his wishes and not carry in his house. If he's just someone who married my mom after I was pretty well grown up and hasn't really been an important part of my life, I would decline to go to his house under those conditions.

 

[wendellgj]

I have terrible fear of leaving any form of self protection in a vehicle and usually opt to ignore requests by ill informed folks about said subject matter or cordially decline the invitation. I do regret your situation, however, you are not the one with the miss-guided problem.

 

[Dmath]

I would see it as wrong for me to go to somebody's house (however foolish his opinions) while doing something he has specifically asked me not to do -- in this case carrying a gun. I agree wholeheartedly that his views on the matter are stupid, but what's at issue here is simple respect for a person's request. Even though he's obviously a dickweed. I would say either don't go at all, or go but don't carry.

And, depending on the situation, you could go and bring up the topic in front of everybody and maybe make him squirm.

Since I carry most of the time, I have very often carried when at people's homes who did not know I was packing. If they knew, they might find it disconcerting. So I just don't bring it up. But if they were to ask me not to carry, I would comply.

 

[Impureclient]

Just got back and the subject wasn't brought up at all, which I am glad for. I just left the gun in the car. They know I carry, always have since I ever got my CCW permit. There are no issues with my step-dad at all, we get along fine. He always says he's more fond of my brothers and me than he is of his own sons. The thing that got me irked was it was right at the last second. I could have made other plans if I wanted to be a jerk about it if they gave me a forewarning it was an issue. It may be just because it was Thanksgiving or maybe not. It was never an issue before although he would ask once in a while if I was carrying. Never thought either one cared really that much. They have been married for maybe 11 years and I've been carrying the last 5 years while they were both fully aware.
Like Grunmaster said, I'm not letting something like this hurt my relationship with my mom so I let it slide this time. It just made me made as it was right before I get in my car to come over. The last thing I want to do is cause a riff between them two so I have no idea how to handle if she asks me over for dinner now. Hopefully it was just a one time thing. I will have to let them both know that it is as important that I am able to carry as it is I want them to be protected also. Oddly enough, soon after I got my CCW, they went out and got one of those tasers you have to touch somebody with. I really felt they were warming up to a possible gun purchase of their own. Hopefully when somebody comes barging in their home with a own firearm/knife or many worse situations I don't care to think of, the taser will defend them like they imagine it will. At least I don't have to spend good money for a home protection gun as a gift for them this year.