RetiredUSNChief
Member
Looking back, I've discovered that simply moving on with life tends to leave these kinds of people behind.
These are the guys during domestics, during the initial interview where ol' boy is still pretty angry, and mouthy. Suddenly, the massively overweight wife, braless in a wife beater tee shirt, comes running full blast down the sidewalk ( oh, I didn't want to see that!) to tell hubby to SHADDUP with the cops, that he is only making things worse. He keeps it up, bluff charges the officer and others a few more times. ... goes in cuffs, and she lets him have a few drags on her cigarette before you haul him to jail. Ya, that guy.There is another to my list:
10. Most people who I arrested over the years TALKED their way into handcuffs and into the back of my cruiser.
Sometimes, it's better to know when to just HUSH than to keep talking. Same with walking away from a fight (if you can do so safely), and NOT arguing with your wife, after all...who has half the money and ALL the soft girly parts we like so much?
The other thing to keep in mind is that if all that stuff keeps happening to you and your friends while you're out, and all of your friends seem reasonably responsible, you might be That Guy.
In which case you want to go home and reevaluate your life.
CreakyOldCop wrote:
Has the thought that maybe your choice of friends is less than spectacular? Maybe the thought has never crossed your mind and you aren't bothered by the repetitive stupid behavior?
Birds of a feather...
You are judged by the company you keep...
Guilt by association...
I have long since come to the decision that "That Guy" has no place in my life.
Sooooo Spot On!I have long since come to the decision that "That Guy" has no place in my life.
How do I change the behavior of "That Guy" if I - and the other people who know how to behave responsibly - stop associating with him?
Remove all the positive influences in his life and that's going to help him become responsible? How is that even logical?
It's not your place. The hardest part of living in free society is the absolute duty to allow others to do things you do not particularly approve of as well as not interfere in them suffering the consequences there might be from that behavior.
living in free society
I disagree. I'm not gonna give a pass to my friends for illegal and destructive behaviors. If they look about to drink and drive, I'm taking their keys. If they are about to cheat on their wives, I'm warning them not to. If they cheat, I'm telling their wife - maybe even their pastor. If I'm the driver for an outing, I'm leaving at the first sign of trouble. If they want to stay, they'll need to find another ride home.
So while I cannot absolutely compel others not to do pursue illegal and destructive behaviors, I do have some level of influence. Sometimes it is more like, "Why don't you get your spouse's input on that?" or "Why don't you get your parent's input on that?"
Exactly, you cannot compel others... Leaving at the first sign of trouble with or without them, taking their keys, advising the wife and/or pastor... Would those actions not fall under the heading of "consequences?"
Some are more consequences, some are more preventive measures.
These are the guys during domestics, during the initial interview where ol' boy is still pretty angry, and mouthy. Suddenly, the massively overweight wife, braless in a wife beater tee shirt, comes running full blast down the sidewalk ( oh, I didn't want to see that!) to tell hubby to SHADDUP with the cops, that he is only making things worse. He keeps it up, bluff charges the officer and others a few more times. ... goes in cuffs, and she lets him have a few drags on her cigarette before you haul him to jail. Ya, that guy.
Having a wife - and keeping her - tends to cut down on associational threats from "That Guy".
Having a daughter - and taking care of her - means that you are now checking for "That Guy" across multiple generations.
I tell my beautiful thirteen year old daughter that "Whomever you choose, had better treat you as well or better than I treat Mom, and as well or better than I treat you".
She isn't a bitch, but she's damned well confident, self assured, and operates on a high level of self esteem.
One of the last domestics I was on...this BIG heifer, I mean this broad was the size of an elephant's ass. If she was under 450lbs I will punch a baby at city hall.
Anyway, she calls 911 claiming that her husband beat her.
We respond, get on scene and she is sitting on the porch holding her eye like she got hit with a baseball bat and wailing about how he beats her. Meanwhile, her husband, who was all of 5'4" and a buck thirty was covered in welts and scratches.
SHE made the claim that he "beat her up".
Meanwhile a neighbor comes over with a cell phone video of the man sitting on a lawn chair drinking a beer, and heiferina comes thundering out of the house cussing and screaming and she starts beating holy hell out of him, I mean she was raining blows on his like a cumuloblubber thundercloud. ALL he was doing was covering up, trying to avoid the blows from her. He clearly threw up a hand to block a hit and connected with her eye. Not a punch, not a slap...it was purely defensive. Then SHE starts screaming that he hit her.
UGH.
She was surprised as all hell when he hooked her up (took a daisy chain of 2 sets of cuffs) and arrested her for domestic assault. She was too fat to fit in the back of a Vic or my Tahoe, so we had to have the transport van come and get her. Like stuffing a marshmallow into a piggy bank.
The neighbor who took the video said the woman was always hitting him and threatening kids in the neighborhood. I am surprised we never had contact with her before.
Sounds like something out the Lawdog files.
I won't repeat the advice my father gave me on the subject as there were just too many. The only recurring theme was should I be "manhandled" remind him that Dad has a rifle, a backhoe and 3200 acres where nobody would notice fresh digging. All these years later I'm still not sure if he was as serious as I am when I tell my daughter the same thing(s).