Do you look like a soft target?

[jackdanson]

I don't think it reall matters. It is more dependent on how you carry yourself. I weigh 150, have coke-bottle nerd glasses (I like em), and dress in tight jeans and band t-shirts. I look like I am 18 (25 really), no one ever thinks I'm a "gun-person" and that is just fine with me. I carry myself very well though, I have a "confident stride!"

 

[xpun8]

I think it depends a lot on who's doing the targeting...
When I had hair and no goatee I was approachable, by just about anyone.
Without hair and w/goatee to middle of chest, not so much.

I'm not discounting how you carry yourself, just adding that looks play a part to some people doing the targeting. With or w/out hair I was never hassled by thugs or otherwise, that has a lot to do with places I choose to grace with my presence.

 

[Funderb]

i look like a porcupine.
and a puffer fish when I'm in the water.

 

[ArfinGreebly]

Yeah, That's Me

Yup. I'm just a big old softy.

In fact, I'm downright cudly-looking.

Although, I've been told my eyes sometimes spoil the effect.

But, yes, I really am a soft target. So much so, that I try to hang out with people who look tougher.

I'm not the guy on the left.
The guy on the left is pretty much the definition of "not a soft target."

​

 

[Brian Dale]

I look like someone who's too boring to bother with.

It's easy for me.

Edited to add - Biker and Chuang Tzu: smart people.

 

[Girodin]

It's all about body language and how you carry yourself. It doesn't have a thing to do with your physical size or how you dress.

I suppose there is a difference between being a victim of a criminal looking to make an easy monetary score and avoiding trouble generally speaking, although many of the principals are probably going to be the same.

I wouldn't say avoiding problems in either instance has nothing to do with your size. Although the amount it matters could vary greatly based on other factors though. In one of the groups of friends I associate with there are several Samoans. All these guys are all over six feet and I don’t think the smallest ones are less than 250 lbs. A few of them are very well put together. They are all imposing figures. I work out (kickboxing and weights) with some of them and simply put Polynesians are freaks when it comes to strength. The attitude of people in general is noticeably different when I am with any those guys than if it is me and a friend that is 5'6" 130 lbs.

I would also say simply trying to look "hard" might cause you more problems than it might prevent in some circumstances. I know there is a part of me that wants to fight guys that I think are acting hard, particularly when it comes across as false bravado. Although I have many years of kickboxing, wrestling and BJJ experience and can fight fairly well being a responsible grown up with better things to do I quickly sweep such feelings out of my head, but others might not. Acting hard can attract the wrong kind of attention in a hurry depending are where you are, to say nothing of the fact that you will just come across poorly to most people. Acting hard in the nice restaurant you will probably just make people think you are a jerk and ill mannered. In a bar or club you might wind up with some teeth on the floor. I know a couple of guys who are the heads of security at a club and hotels/restaurant/shops respectively. I have heard stories of armed (as in had a gun) guys that still wound up taking a nap on the floor after pulling their weapon in the wrong company.

I also know a guy I went to HS with that while he was in college with a football scholarship (a lineman I believe) was jumped by a group of Mexicans who latter admitted to the police they were looking for the toughest guy they could find.

Appearing confident, alert, aware of your surroundings, etc and otherwise avoiding trouble is much more important than looking "hard" IMHO, but hitting the gym usually won’t hurt. I also take my rottwieler many of the places I go and that seems to have a certain effect as well. It is almost like putting wierdo reppellant on.

 

[Regolith]

Hard to say for me. I've never been accosted, but I've never been in a really seedy area, either.

I'm a big guy, with a big frame. I've been randomly asked in public by strangers if I play football. I've literally got the body of a lineman.

However, I haven't worked out for a while, and I'm growing a bit soft. Well, softer, anyway. However, the look I have on my face normally gets misinterpreted by many as stern or menacing and the look I get when I get slightly annoyed has scared the crap out of people who don't really know me and don't realize I'm simply a big teddy bear, so who knows.

As for how I dress, I try to be presentable, but I don't go out of my way, either. Tshirt and shorts or jeans depending on the weather, usually. Don't think that hurts me or helps me.

 

[hobgob]

Ive got a buzzed head and been growin a beard for the past 3 months or so, so im lookin pretty rough, but then again im only 5'6 and 170lbs, short and stout. For some reason my co workers think i am some kind of hardass, but it aint the case, the only person i ever really fight with is my bro and thats only after a few too many whiskey drinks. I think i look like a soft target, but i think anyone trying to target me would be unpleasantly suprised by either a 9mm or .38+p. either that or they would have a hell of a time catchin me while im gettin the hell out of dodge.

 

[FourNineFoxtrot]

If I could pick a look, I would pick "unremarkable". I'm a large-ish guy, though, and I've never blended into crowds well. Just as well, as I hate crowds. My size has always been a pretty good deterrent. I'm big enough to be trouble, but I don't have the manner of "overt threat". I try to go for "too big to be easy prey, too shabby to be rich prey". Keeping alert goes a long way, definitely.

My natural expression is not friendly. Once, waiting for the school bus in 7th grade, I just glanced at a passing driver. The man stopped and got out of his truck, proceeding to yell at me for giving him a dirty look. I just looked at the man, expressionless, or so I had thought. That was the day I realized I had been gifted with a "mean face". I'm a very pale white guy, but I have squinty, Asiatic eyes (Maybe my Norse ancestors came from a bit further East, originally). Since I always look like I'm squinting my eyes, it looks like I'm glaring at everything I see. I have had to make a habit of wearing a false expression so as not to glare at people without realizing it. It's been troublesome... sometimes, I feel like I don't know who I really am anymore. I also try to moderate my expression by being polite, especially in a store or something. Last thing I need is for a cashier to think I'm giving him the evil eye.

I don't live in a great area, and I don't take my safety here for granted. I make it a point to be aware of my surroundings even when going to the corner liquor store for beer and smokes. These places get robbed a lot, so I have good reason to be wary.

Mostly, though, it's better not to be noticed at all. If you're going to stand out, either because you're really out of place, or because there's nobody around to camouflage you, then coming across as "not worth the trouble" is a pretty good substitute.

 

[308win]

Yup, that's me, the tactical twinkie. I try to stay away from places with a high potential for trouble and watch what is going on around me. How I look and what I wear is not going to intimidate anyone who really can cause me a problem.

 

[Mp7]

...i often

practice getting lil kids in the supermarket to start
crying just by looking at them.

Works for BG, too.

( .. of course i carry two Glocks ccw, you never know with those ghetto toddlers anymore... )

 

[righteousbarbarian]

I use a wheelchair so some people might think i look like a soft target but they have another thing coming if they threaten grave bodily injury or my life.

 

[W Turner]

My size works very well for me. I am freakishly tall at 6'8" and what I call "country boy big" at 375. I've got a gut, but my chest and shoulders are broad and most people are surprised by how much I actually weigh.

I keep my hair short and I have to be clean shaven for my job. I usually dress in some combination of jeans/5.11's and tshirt/polo with boots.

In my opinion all that helps support the fact that I am direct and polite in my manner of dealing with people. I also make it a point to make eye contact with people.

The man purse and clinging 1 and 3 year olds help to soften me up though....lol.

 

[B yond]

 

[Shadowangel]

I think I do resemble a fairly soft target.

That said... this is intentional. I definitely don't look like the type that would have a concealed handgun, so in the situation that I would ever need to draw that handgun, i'd most likely have the element of surprise on my side.

I personally think that is beneficial whether i'm being accosted alone, or i'm in a store that gets robbed. If i'm in a convenience store and a thug comes in and looks over the place, then attacks the cashier..i'd probably be the person they wouldn't worry about until it was too late.

 

[jpsimms]

I do not look like a soft target, in fact I have to try to look softer to not scare old ladies and children. I'm 6'3, 210 open carry a 6inch revolver, have long hair, a goatee, wear a leather bike jacket, dark glasses and black steel toe boots. I just like that look, and it suits me
I do make an effort to stay aware, and I make eye contact, but I find that I have to use a polite greeting to let people know that I mean no harm.
M fiancee says I am a nice guy though

 

[IndianaBoy]

That depends....

Do you think they will be able to see the extra trauma plates duct taped to my back?

 

[sm]

Biker nailed it!

BullfrogKen nailed it as well.

In addition I subscribe to blending in and giving the perceptions needed for task.

I am a male, 6' 170 pounds with a mustache.
I have walked out with the ladies volleyball team, wearing the team wind pants, top, jacket ball cap and umbrella and nobody noticed me...they were looking for a male 6' and 170 pounds with a mustache.
"Tactical" gear?
Nah dude, just a small duffel like the other ladies were carrying.


Do you know who I am fearful of?
Not the gal with a Gun Logo ball cap, wearing a gun appendix carry .

That teenage gal with a HS uniform with a purse containing the stolen Colt Detective Special.
Because the dude just tossed his cigarette, or brushed his face, shifted his body - some signal, and she is moving up, so he can access that gun to shoot me.


This blending in and perceptions works both ways ...

 

[TonyB]

BigBadJohn.....I bet no one ever stole your lunch money.....
It's ok to LOOK like a soft target,just don't BE one.
and everyone on the net is superhero...now where's my cape?

 

[Griff]

Soft target? Just the middle part. Ice cream good. Very good.

I am frequently mistaken for an off-duty Policeman. My wife says its partly my appearance, but mostly my bearing. I think that's really the key: project an aura of responsibility, awareness, and confidence. Best way to get them is training and experience.

Well, that, and the handy-dandy official CCW Badge...

 

[Funderb]

off-duty-out-to-get-you you mean.

 

[BammaYankee]

Here's a crazy idea..... go to the gym on a regular basis and hit some [heavy] weights!
Then you won't have to
worry about it. There is no substitute or shortcut to being a 'hard' target. Either
you can carry your mud or you can't, and the ones you need to worry about can sure tell the difference no matter what street gear you're wearing!

 

[1911 guy]

Clothes have nothing to do with it. Unless you're walking around with none, then you will be marked as nuts and carted off by the nice men in white coats.

I've got a friend named Tim. He's a card-carrying member of the Royal Order of the Pocket Protector and White Tape on Glases. The term "Uber-geek" has been used. He's tough, proved it on the street and on the job where I met him. He also carries himslef like he knows it. No problems for Tim in a long time.

We call him The All Powerfull Wizard Tim. If you got the joke, please report to The Ministry of Silly Walks.

 

[ironlung]

Internet tough guy checking in...

...Either you can carry your mud or you can't, and the ones you need to worry about can sure tell the difference no matter what street gear you're wearing!

^^^^^SAD BUT TRUE^^^^^^^


I'll ask again. Do you think it is possible for a Mr. Softie to change his bully magnet ways?

...hypothetically speaking of course...


I'll guess "no" you can't change your gut reaction.

 

[BammaYankee]

Ironlung: Not a tough guy, just realistic.... Everyone seems to think they are the only ones who think about 'what would happen if...' The bad guys have their own strategies as well and those most often center on quick, hard hitting, and unexpected assaults and not some sort of dramatic high noon western showdown. Chances are you will get knocked down or suddenly cold cocked in order to make you vulnerable long enough to loose whatever the BG wants to take or to get you off balance fast so they can get the upper hand.

If you can't physically pull yourself up off the ground, with someone's full weight on top of you, or have the strength to fight them off and possibly restrain them then you are already at a disadvantage. All the machismo and tacticool fashion in the world won't help you when you find yourself pinned to the ground, unable to pull yourself up, and getting pummeled after catching a blow to the back of your head that you never saw coming.... I speak from direct experience.