Eye Contact and how criminals pick victims

[strambo]

Some stare and I keep looking and my expression gets more serious. Some try to stare me down.

griz-up until right before this point, you are just making eye contact. When someone stares and you choose to stare back, now you are voluntarily entering into an inter-male aggression posturing ritual. Completely avoidable and needless.

If you ignored their stare after the intitial eye contact and acted as if they didn't exist and weren't a threat, that would be the end of it (looking down like they intimidated you would be bad). Having stare-downs is why you've had those confrontations even at your big size. Your stare back challenged their ego, so they follow you and confront you, so you turn and confront them...so they; 1) insult, or 2) attack, or 3) leave. It's a process that can be broken at any time by either party when they don't wanna play macho anymore...until it goes beyond an alpha male ritual and someone decides to take it to the level of violence.

I'm only 5'10" and 185. I've never encountered a challenge like that. I've had people stare at me and insult me, but my response is to ignore them like an annoying dog. If they attack, I'll take them out...been trained to do it and training for it for quite some time now. Someday someone may follow and attack me anyway, but it won't be because I stared back and challenged their ego. When I ignore them they can save face by calling me names and thinking they're tough to my back. I don't act scared or tough...just indifferent. I'm aware of them and not concerned. JMO, if you make eye contact w/me I'll just nod back so it's no big deal...what ever works for ya.

Cool, related story that continues the "dog" theme; I met a guy with a huge, beautiful Akita up in Alaska. These are the dogs that were bred by Samurai to accompany them into battle. They are fearless and make great dogs to take while bear hunting. Anyway, the owner said a pitbull charged and attacked his Akita once. The Akita completely ignored the annoying little thing until it leaped. Akita latched onto it, snapped it's neck and continued on as if nothing had happened. Didn't stare it down, growl, bark or posture. Just took it out when it became a real threat and went about it's business (owner said he acted a little proud of himself ). The dog was very sweet, gentle and good with kids too.

 

[Guncrazy45]

This has worked for me...

Walk alertly, make eye contact, and keep your hand under your shirt, as if you were gripping something tucked into your waistband.

And smile. It really does make them wonder.

 

[Hypnogator]

Gawd, would I love to have this for a bumper sticker on my motorhome!

 

[strambo]

What I always found funny about those signs (and I've seen them in action from the perspective of someone who would be would shot at) is you can't read them at anywhere near 100 meters. More like 25-30 meters.

 

[CornCod]

Eye Contact

Eye contact issues are related to culture. Hispanics consider it rude when people stare in their faces. European-Americans sometimes get a little upset when Hispanics stare at the floor, but it appears they are only just being polite, especially to authority figures.

 

[Legionnaire]

Eye contact, yes. Staring, no. If you're walking, keep walking with purpose. At least condition yellow at all times.

 

[Moriarty]

I agree wholeheartedly with strambo on this.

Getting into a staring match with another male is an invitation to a confrontation. To the extent that humans have instincts, this is a behavior that invites a conflict in order to establish dominance. There are literally volumes written about this in the field of ethology.

If you're faced with a concerning individual or group, you should be in "orange." A quick "targeting scan," with a moment of dispassionate eye contact to let them know that you've seen them is all that's indicated. Predators expect to either confront or intimidate. Showing no propensity toward either, but quickly sizing up and entering them into the "firing computer" seems to cause them uncertainty and confusion. (Some of the brighter ones may realize they're a short step away from you going into "red" - a place they'd rather not be. Visualizing your draw, sight picture and subvocalizing "front sight - press!" may seem melodramatic, but it seems to have worked for me. I think you give off nonverbal cues that goblins recognize as trouble.)

If all goes well and the ghost of Sun-Tzu smiles on you, you've won before a fight ever starts. (...which is the whole point of mindset in the first place.)

 

[Geronimo45]

Just look deep into their eyes and smile like an idiot. Avoids countless troubles.

 

[XavierBreath]

The best way to avoid threats is to recognize them early and either evade them or be seen as a superior predator. It is not really a matter of staring someone down or avoiding eye contact. You must understand how the criminal works as he goes about his business. We worry about eye contact. We worry about "setting off" a predator. That does not matter to a criminal. By the time eye contact is an issue, the criminal has made his decision of whether to engage or not.

I wrote a bit about threat recognition here. It might be of use.

 

[Creeping Incrementalism]

I always wear sunglasses in the daytime, and at night, avoid eye contact with people on the street as much as possible because it tends to set off the homeless nuts, or encourage people to ask for change, or just annoying people on the train who feel like chatting with strangers.

Anyhow, in everyday life, I will make brief eye contact, give a nod, and move on. Most importantly, I think, is just looking confident and aware. Not only does this deter criminals, it attracts women and establishes social dominance over other males. We're all animals. All you have to do is look like you can use your claws

stiletto raggio subscribes to the "Me Tarzan, You Jane" school of thought when it comes to pickin up chicks.

 

[shotgunkevin]

I do volunteer security work at my church, where we have 3 or 4 large events each year. These events intentionally attract the types of people you'd rather not bring home to dinner. A lot of time is spent looking directly at a gigantic group of people that our entire security force couldn't possibly handle if they were to get out of control. Therefore, "presence" is crucial. I've found it best to avoid eye contact initially. I will not look anyone in the eye, unless I must deal with an infraction of a rule or some such. Then, I will look them directly and intently in the eyes, and move purposfully to them. Otherwise, I will constantly scan. Constantly. Maintain an attitude of perception and awareness, yet indifference. Look busy while standing in one spot.

I think the same applies on the street, though I wouldn't be that standoff-ish.
I try to notice everybody quickly and casually, but without looking long enough to, according to social unwritten rules, require an acknowledgement.
However, if I see somebody that puts me into condition orange, I will spend a bit extra time observing them, and give them a "heads up" hello.

BTW, this is an excellent way to notice single women.

 

[HMMurdock]

Criminals are like animals. Having worked in a jail for a time, I can tell you that that is true over and over again. If youre in a strange neighborhood and a mutt approaches, you dont stare it down-- itll bite your @$$. You project an air of confidence and maintain. Making eye contact means youre getting territorial. It becomes a 'Schwarz' measuring contest at that point (Spaceballs, anyone?) and usually the first one to make a move wins. So if he's the aggressor, he has the upper hand.

I have been semi-accosted more than once in strange cities, and its always been when I initiate a conversation (can you tell me how to get to...?) or when I make eye contact. The eye contact singles me out and almost gives them permission to approach me. Only on these circumstances they were "how much money you got?".

As for being polite and courteous, that is a must. I usually give the "I dont have any, sorry" as I covertly reach for my piece and keep on walking and trying to maintain what is going on.

Blast me all you want, thats how I play it. Don't make a scene and there rarely is one. I'm not Dirty Harry so I don't provoke justice. And my advice: keep your eyes, like your hands, to yourself.

TRL