Aran
member
Get back to 1823, gramps. How do you know you're going to marry someone without spending time dating them?
Also, proofread.
Gunloving Dads with Daughters
- Thread starter Azul
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Get back to 1823, gramps. How do you know you're going to marry someone without spending time dating them?
Also, proofread.
JWF III
Member
This forum is definently getting lax on traditions. Almost two full pages and nobody's said "This thread is usless without pictures."
Don't have a daughter, but fireside sees things much the way I do. So fireside, do you have any daughters?
OP--On a serious note, you're lucky to have something in common with the man. As others have said, be respectful but not a brown-noser. Be curtious (sp?), but don't cower. Show interest in what he has, and when he asks tell him what you have. Invite him out shooting, and shoot each others guns. And try to get him to take you hunting, but don't directly invite yourself. Beat around the bush until he gets the hint.
My previous relationship was the exact opposite. Her father loved the AR and AK, while I loved the Garand, Mauser, the old levers, etc. We got along fine, and talked guns regularly. We just had to agree to disagree, and go shoot. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately), she wasn't too keen on me being that friendly with her father. She called it off before we got to go shoot together.
My future FIL isn't exactly anti, but he's a long way from pro-2A.:banghead: As passionate as I am, I just don't get into those politics with him. It'd probably scare him to know what I really have, and want.
Wyman
Don't have a daughter, but fireside sees things much the way I do. So fireside, do you have any daughters?
OP--On a serious note, you're lucky to have something in common with the man. As others have said, be respectful but not a brown-noser. Be curtious (sp?), but don't cower. Show interest in what he has, and when he asks tell him what you have. Invite him out shooting, and shoot each others guns. And try to get him to take you hunting, but don't directly invite yourself. Beat around the bush until he gets the hint.
My previous relationship was the exact opposite. Her father loved the AR and AK, while I loved the Garand, Mauser, the old levers, etc. We got along fine, and talked guns regularly. We just had to agree to disagree, and go shoot. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately), she wasn't too keen on me being that friendly with her father. She called it off before we got to go shoot together.
My future FIL isn't exactly anti, but he's a long way from pro-2A.:banghead: As passionate as I am, I just don't get into those politics with him. It'd probably scare him to know what I really have, and want.
Wyman
Uncle Mike
Member
Hey, now look, I resemble that remark! How dare you!?!
As I told my daughters boyfriend, who thinks AR's are the stuff....we'll pace off 800y he can have his one shot with his 16" barrel M4 style poodle popper and I get my one shot with my F-class! Aim for the chones!
He's coming around, after ringing the 700y gong shot after shot one afternoon with my 300SAUM long ranger.
Mt Shooter
Member
You mean really old like 50 or so?
Erik M
Member
I have met a father that was definelty pro-hunting but was totally against anyone owning anything other than a shotgun or something along the lines of a wood stock remington 700. I keep firearms and politics out of the line of discussion with a s/o's parents.
C-grunt
Member
Just be polite.
When my wife and I started dating in 2003 her family was borderline anti. Since her family loves me, she has joked that if we got divorced they would side with me, they have come around huge. My mother in law has gone shooting with me on several occasions and doesnt think twice about me carrying. She has even stated she likes that I carry when the family is out in public at night.
When my wife and I started dating in 2003 her family was borderline anti. Since her family loves me, she has joked that if we got divorced they would side with me, they have come around huge. My mother in law has gone shooting with me on several occasions and doesnt think twice about me carrying. She has even stated she likes that I carry when the family is out in public at night.
Warlokke
Member
Manners, courtesy, and respect for my daughter are what I worry about with my teen daughters boyfriends.
I make it very clear before any first date that I expect her date to respect her, treat like the princess she is (and always will be to me), and that he doesn't get second chances so don't screw it up if he expects a second date. My daughter doesn't get a vote in this, however even my wife agrees she kinda like her old man laying down the law before a date.
By the third date things are usually cordial enough that when he arrives to get my daughter, my wife sends him in to my gun room to visit while waiting for my daughter to finish getting ready. I am usually sharpening a very old Randall knife when that happens....one I have carried in every combat deployment of my career. That usually leads to a "wow, where did you get all this stuff" moment and we chat and all is well. Let's just say it gives the young man a new perspective on this 50 year old man and ensures he doesn't ever make a mistake in judgement.
Amazing what a little soft, unspoken intimidation can do to ensure your daughters well-being. Luckily for me, I have a daughter with very good judgement, that still cares what her old man thinks of her and whoever she brings home.
I sure hope that doesn't change, but at the end of the day my daughters well-being is more important to me than the feelings of some teen boy I don't really know. It is up to him to earn my respect, not the other way around.
I make it very clear before any first date that I expect her date to respect her, treat like the princess she is (and always will be to me), and that he doesn't get second chances so don't screw it up if he expects a second date. My daughter doesn't get a vote in this, however even my wife agrees she kinda like her old man laying down the law before a date.
By the third date things are usually cordial enough that when he arrives to get my daughter, my wife sends him in to my gun room to visit while waiting for my daughter to finish getting ready. I am usually sharpening a very old Randall knife when that happens....one I have carried in every combat deployment of my career. That usually leads to a "wow, where did you get all this stuff" moment and we chat and all is well. Let's just say it gives the young man a new perspective on this 50 year old man and ensures he doesn't ever make a mistake in judgement.
Amazing what a little soft, unspoken intimidation can do to ensure your daughters well-being. Luckily for me, I have a daughter with very good judgement, that still cares what her old man thinks of her and whoever she brings home.
I sure hope that doesn't change, but at the end of the day my daughters well-being is more important to me than the feelings of some teen boy I don't really know. It is up to him to earn my respect, not the other way around.
Officers'Wife
Member
Must be in the "Dad's handbook." When my dates came to pick me up Dad was always in the living room sharpening either his old 28 inch bayonet or his 'limey pig sticker.' After three daughters the knives are finally sharp enough to suit him.
Famous last words: My husband will not do that to my daughter.
Warlokke
Member
Knives, like wits, are never sharp enough......and husband's, like boyfriends, need a reminder from time to time that their is a vicious, mean, dangerous, old fart keeping an eye on Dad's Cinderella. 
And don't ever for one minute think the daughters don't eat that right up....
And don't ever for one minute think the daughters don't eat that right up....
Gouranga
Member
As the father of 4 daughters, give ya some advice.
1. My little girls (whether they be 2 or 42) are always my little girls. I raised them to show proper respect (I am old school on that), and I demand anyone thinking about dating them first and foremost show them proper respect. That is non-negotiable.
2. Where and when I was brought up, you showed your elders respect. Elders whose children you wish to date, doubly so. It ain't worth getting your ego in a tuzzle. It is what it is and it is simply showing proper respect.
3. If you have a similar interest as me (Fishing, shooting, hiking), etc that is cool. I might even be glad to share my insights with you and chill, provided rules 1 and 2 are met first.
4. As long as 1 and 2 are met, I have no problem being "guys" around each other, heck we could even be "friends" a bit all limited under items 1 and 2.
I know sounds snooty and old school, but it is what it is. When I first started dating my wife (in high school), I pulled in the driveway, parked the car went in and met her father and mother face to face and let them both look me in the eye and size me up. I found out a decade later, I won them over that night. I don't ask for kissing my backside or nothing like that, in fact, I would find that creepy.
So to your original question, be honest, show him respect, treat his little girl right, and let everything else fall where it may. If he gives you grief on your guns, maybe offer to go out shooting with him. Let him try it out, you can try his out (if he is game) you might both learn something. Course, I would definitely make sure I have 1 and 2 covered solidly before I went anywhere alone with him with a loaded firearm.
1. My little girls (whether they be 2 or 42) are always my little girls. I raised them to show proper respect (I am old school on that), and I demand anyone thinking about dating them first and foremost show them proper respect. That is non-negotiable.
2. Where and when I was brought up, you showed your elders respect. Elders whose children you wish to date, doubly so. It ain't worth getting your ego in a tuzzle. It is what it is and it is simply showing proper respect.
3. If you have a similar interest as me (Fishing, shooting, hiking), etc that is cool. I might even be glad to share my insights with you and chill, provided rules 1 and 2 are met first.
4. As long as 1 and 2 are met, I have no problem being "guys" around each other, heck we could even be "friends" a bit all limited under items 1 and 2.
I know sounds snooty and old school, but it is what it is. When I first started dating my wife (in high school), I pulled in the driveway, parked the car went in and met her father and mother face to face and let them both look me in the eye and size me up. I found out a decade later, I won them over that night. I don't ask for kissing my backside or nothing like that, in fact, I would find that creepy.
So to your original question, be honest, show him respect, treat his little girl right, and let everything else fall where it may. If he gives you grief on your guns, maybe offer to go out shooting with him. Let him try it out, you can try his out (if he is game) you might both learn something. Course, I would definitely make sure I have 1 and 2 covered solidly before I went anywhere alone with him with a loaded firearm.
HighStrung
Member
The first time I met my wife's parents was after I brought her home from a movie. She did have a cerfew and we were back plenty before that time was up. She had invited me in to which I had no problems. I've never been scared of a girls parents, I've never needed to. Sure I've dated the girls with the dad's who pull all the old tricks to try and scare the boyfriend, but it never got to me. I expected it, and I expected it to always end soon because I've always treated girls (and their parents) exactly the way most of this advice explains. Respect (for daughter and parents), good manners, very limited affection if any in front of parents, and probably the biggest kicker of all for me was the fact that I carried myself well. I wasn't walking in with my chest puffed out, but confident in myself. I spoke to them, and listened to what they had to say. Seems as though many guys seem to cower which makes you question how well this guy could take care of their "little girl" if the need arose. Some above mentioned "Be who you are" and this if perfect, so long as you are respectful, good mannered, etc. Long story short, after chatting with her mom for a short time, I got the "come here son" from her dad. He was cleaning his 1911 and wanted to chat (aka, intimidate me). Well it didn't work. I respectfully commented on how nice his gun was and asked if he would allow me to help cleaning it. I told him that I wasn't real familiar with the 1911 and would like to learn a little more about them, but I was familiar with several other handguns and long guns. I think it upset my girl a little bit because we (her dad and I) talked for what had to have been 2 hours. From that day on, he has always respected me, and I have never given him a reason not to. We've now been together for over 11yrs (married 6). I will expect the same respect from my daughter's boyfriends as well. Sorry for rambling on......
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