Guns and dating

[Broken11b]

Okay, I normally dont post threads like this. And moderators, feel free to delete this if it's too off topic.

Hypothetically, if you were single and going on dates with new people.
How do you bring up the subject that you own firearms... lots of them?

It'd be fine if it was just one or two, but since I have a collection that would be hard to notice, how do you go about breaking this to a new person?

 

[mlaustin]

That it's a hobby. I used to be a mechanic, so I own a snap on tool chest that takes up half my garage. My ex was an avid runner, she had about 10 pairs of shoes and drawers of running shirts and shorts. Especially if you shoot competitively or hunt, owning a lot of guns is natural imho.

On the other hand, I normally don't mention guns until I think it's becoming something serious. I try to be low-key about owning lots of guns and some people will make a bad first impression of you based on that.

 

[Sixtigers]

Easy one. Shooting date. Just asking her out on a "shooting date" should let you know, one way or another, how she feels about firearms.

If you get positive vibes:
Take her shooting on a weekend. Go outdoors if you can on a nice day, and just bring smaller stuff--.22 and 9mm, perhaps (if it's her first time shooting). Let her have fun, don't pressure her, stand close to the targets (you can back up as the shooting gets better). Also--don't drag it out. Keep an eye open for boredom/frustration checks.
You'll find that women often make better shooters--many come with no pre-conceived notions on how it's supposed to be done, and readily take to instruction.

If she's been shooting before, then bring something exotic she might not have shot before--a cowboy lever action or SA revolver, an AR series rifle, a pump or SXS shotgun. Something "cool" that she'll tell her friends about.

If she doesn't like the idea of going shooting, or firearms in general, might not be the best choice for you. Better to find out quick!

 

[SMMAssociates]

Broken11b:

When I told dad that I wanted a gun, he said that I needed to bring home a badge first. So I did.... I've been a rent-a-cop, among other things (think "armed programmer") for about 42 years. Married since 1975....

When I was dating, my LE connection tended to come up eventually. Probably the scanner in the car .... My date usually presumed that I might be armed sometimes, if not "right now".... (I've carried essentially 24/7 since I pinned that badge on.) 'Course, in those days us rentals were a bit more respected, and LE-related gun ownership didn't make people as crazy as it does now. In short, never had a problem....

The problem today, of course, is that the date may have been brainwashed by her parents or school system, and jump out of the car when she finds out you know what a gun is.... Might as well bring that up early on.... Not to deny that anything is possible, but if she's not going to run with that, you probably should find somebody else.

(Here in OH, if you get stopped for a traffic violation or about any other Law Enforcement reason, and you're carrying, you MUST notify IMMEDIATELY. She'll find out real fast .... If you're not carrying, this doesn't apply, but many LEO's don't know that, and many will ask "did you forget to tell me something?"....)

So much for that problem ....

I can't make any suggestions, though - I've been out of the game for too long.... My daughter's former boyfriend had a shotgun when they started dating, and bought a couple of handguns (and an M4) before things melted down. Didn't bother her a bit. She's a shooter, but not interested in a license. He took the course, but never got the CHL for some reason.

One possibility is to schedule a date at a local range if you can work it in. Don't hand her the .500 though - start with a .22. She may have some experience.... (My mom - who's 95 - would like to come to the range with me, but can't handle the steps. Her dad taught her to shoot around 1925.... One of her brothers was a pistol instructor for the Army during WWII. Back when they were issuing revolvers! Dad, btw, was a machine gunner at a CCC camp before the war, and probably qualified with about every one-person weapon in the inventory between 1938 and 1945. He was a medic....)

Best thing to do is try, I guess....

Regards,

 

[shibby]

Dont be weird or awkward about it. Its not like its a drug habit- its nothing to hide or be ashamed of. If she has a problem with shooting and cant be reasoned with, she is not worth your time. I have got many people to see guns in a positive light after reasonable conversation.

Casually mention shooting, maybe offer to take her to the range, etc.

 

[PT1911]

Range dates are a GREAT idea.... and, in my experience, turn out well... I have yet to introduce a gal/girl/woman/female to shooting that didnt love the experience from the first trigger pull and want to go back!

YMMV

 

[Full Metal Jacket]

i take chicks i date to the range all the time. they love it. something new and exciting for them.


incidentally, i've noticed women generally shoot much more accurately than men their first time out.

 

[Boberama]

Depends where you're from. 'Round here, it's taboo.

 

[docnyt]

Dont be weird or awkward about it. Its not like its a drug habit

I disagree with this.

Just went on a range date today. Went well - she shot a Kimber .22 1911 conversion and a CZ P01 and even tried a GSG5 and a Mossberg 500 (!)

But then again she's my wife.

I agree a range date is a great idea. Sometimes (or is that always) you never can fathom what's in a woman's mind.

 

[MikePaiN]

If I was single and dating....It wouldn't be the first thing out of my mouth but at some point in the "getting to know each other process" the subject of what you enjoy doing will come up....Mention guns, shooting, hunting(whatever you like) and watch the reaction. If you have an anti on your hands, you two might not jive

 

[mljdeckard]

My wife was already a hunter, so it was no big deal.

Now the last girl I dated BEFORE her, on the other hand, well, how did Steven Wright put it? "I learned so much about myself when I fell in love. Before that I never even THOUGHT about killing myself." Oh yeah, I dated THAT chick. She knew that I was a gun guy, because we were introduced by a mutual friend. In one of the many horrific arguments we had, she said that she would rather stand and watch her children be killed than take someone else's life to defend them. She recently re-surfaced on facebook, she has five kids. She also lost one to illness when she was very young. I wonder what she would say now?

If I were single now, I can't imagine it going past one date without it coming up. What do I do for a living? Yes involves being armed. what do I do for fun? Hunting, outdoor activities in general, Hmmm. One flip through my facebook page and it's all over. I suppose I should take comfort in the idea that where I live, it's not too hard to find women who are accepting, if not entirely enthusiastic about the idea.

 

[qwert65]

I usually mention I hunt right away, that eliminates most of the super anti-gunners.
Then when it gets a little more comfortable I leave a pistol by my bed if she dosent mention it I'll bring it up by asking "Do you like to shoot?"

 

[loadedround]

This post brought a large smile to my face plus a big chuckle, so I had to post this. I didn't get married until I was 30 and had dated many girls who were either pro and con about firearms. The last girl I dated and finally married was from upstate deer hunting country of Pennsylvania whose father was a Penna. State Policeman. She grew up with guns, loved to go to the range with me and even went deer hunting with us twice( her grandfather ownd the cabin).
Married over 30 years now and she still doesn't get P.O'ed coming hone and finding a disassembled 1911 on the kitchen table. I landed a winner!

 

[Officers'Wife]

Last time I was dating, when a guy came to pick me up my Dad would be in the front room cleaning firearms. The only time it didn't work for me was one individual that went out to the car and brought back his AR-15 to show Dad. I never accepted another date from the guy.

 

[jl1966]

Hunting and shooting is a big part of who I am, so it comes up early in the relationship. Not quite" Hi, my name is so and so, I like guns." But pretty quick in the natural flow of conversation. If she has a problem with that, oh well, it's her problem, not mine. She can get over it, or move on. This is how it went with my wife. She is not into guns in any way, but she is not against them, and understands the need for them. She doesn't see why I need so many, but that is another story.

 

[TexasRifleman]

The only time it didn't work for me was one individual that went out to the car and brought back his AR-15 to show Dad. I never accepted another date from the guy.

What was wrong with it, was it from Model 1 or something?

 

[bikerdoc]

How about the truth.

"My hobby is collecting guns and shooting"

Depending on the response go from there.

Now that I am a dad and grand dad, ( all are shooters) It still works on prospective dates.

Some leave, some stay, Oh well.

 

[Captcurt]

Never thought of that.

Yeah, I like the Range Date idea. If she outshoots ya, you can dump her.

 

[ForumSurfer]

It has to be addressed sooner or later. But there are much, much more important things to discover about another person.

If she's hard core anti-gun, you'll likely discover problems before guns are even mentioned. I only had one instance where I got along great with someone only to discover that she was very anti. It just didn't work, but only for other reasons. The anti bit was only a frustration, our compatibility problems were discovered more and more after we found that we had opposing stances with gun ownership.

I tend to bring it up early because I ccw. Frisky hands and a loaded 1911 or glock don't mix too well. It also makes it awkward if we go somewhere and I have to explain to her that "excuse me, but I have to disarm before we go in here."

My current girlfriend has actually gotten more actively involved in shooting than anyone in my past. She actually likes that I ccw and doesn't view it as being paranoid. She wants to herself one day, but she feels her handgun skills are sub-par (to which end we practice often and I've shown her some available classes, but she just isn't comfortable yet) and she feels better served by pepper spray. It's great, but now I have to buy an engagement ring and an AR for her.

 

[FLAvalanche]

At some point in time you're going to talk to her about your hobbies and interests together. Usually before things get serious, sometimes even before the first real date. You should mention it then.

While it's not like a drug problem some women will over look a drug problem and not guns.

Let her know that you enjoy shooting and or hunting. Don't come off as some paraniod goofball with a CCW, a BUG, 13 knives stashed in your pockets, a can of mace and a flashlight as bright as seven suns, like some people here do.

If she doesn't have an issue, go for the range date.

 

[ForumSurfer]

While it's not like a drug problem some women will over look a drug (insert my own thoughts here:: or alcohol) problem and not guns.

I dated her!

 

[HGUNHNTR]

I wouldn't bring it up at all at first. Some pretty great people are initially turned off by "gun talk" whether from growing up in anti households, or other negative experiences. Throwing folks into an uncomfortable environment (range date) right away is probably too much. I beleive it would be better to wait until a certain level of trust has been established then broach the idea. I have quite a few friends that grew up with anti parents, and the wrong approach to introducing them to firearms could have turned them off. I have even been told so many years later.

 

[Strahley]

She would find out when she comes over and sees the safe in my room. If she reacts in a negative way and spouts off about she hates guns, then that'll be our last date

 

[Bullnettles]

I can't even remember dating an anti-... Just to add, of the girls I have dated, the biggest thing was buying something that could have gone to T & Co., haha. Last g/f was an Obama supporter (changed her mind after a few debates, but I was at her apartment and told her I had my CCW and didn't want to leave my gun in the car. She was pissed I had even been leaving it in there. First date I wouldn't bring it up, but my g/f enjoys shooting now and had only shot once before 13 years ago. She wasn't an anti-, but if I had said "I have x amount of guns and deal with it" on the first date, I can see it being a negative. Feel them out, bring it to them easy Tiffany & Co. isn't on the long list of your next buys

 

[boostedxt]

if she asks you to go somewhere on saturday say you are going shooting and she is more than welcome to join you. If she has a problem with it she will say something then or later. If she does have a problem with it us my method...

"Ms, the guns were here before you were. If you dislike them, or me having them feel free to dump me."

I have been happily dumped a few times.

joe