I don't think it's an issue that has to be settled on a first date. But then again, if people are illogical, I don't have a deep desire to be around them. Certainly not in a lasting relationship with one. I could date an anti. I could even see a movie or be a close friend with an anti. But marry one. Not me. I need a partner. Not a child living in the same house. She doesn't have to be a shooter or carry or collect or anything of the sort. But she has to value freedom. Not an optional value.
Guns and dating.
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Jim NE
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That doesn't surprise me. I think shooters need to realize that the majority of people in our country (esp. women) still think that carrying a gun (when you aren't a cop) is an extreme and even militant act. Up until 10 or 15 years ago, most civilians who carried guns on their person were either criminals or decent people who were in violation of the law for the sake of personal protection (at least in big cities.) I remember the shock and surprise my new bride had when I told her I had two guns (a .22 rifle and a $29 shotgun.) She truly couldn't understand why anyone would own a gun...even pedestrian guns like these.
She's gotten used to the idea after 17 years, but if I were were looking for a spouse now, any prospects would be carefully vetted out for a whole host of attitudes (not just gun related) before I'd consider dating them.
I understand fully what Jim NE is saying.
I am pushing 60 years old and have been seeing the same woman for several years and since she's only five years younger than me we both came from a generation where a lot of men owned all sorts of sporting arms and hunted.
So gun ownership and hunting was no big deal.
And since America is no longer the nation we grew up in she had zero issues with me getting my concealed license and a couple of times was quite secure in the fact that I had it on me.
However at the office building at work we actually have televisions in the lunch rooms and usually the news is on and there is no end to the mayhem that takes place in Houston Texas on a daily basis as the low lifes of society go at each other and of course they also go after the straight every day citizenry and I have heard more than my share of negative comments about guns,inparticular handguns from the sub 40 year old generation.
So I'm not so sure if I was a young guy how I would go about this issue.
Glad I came from the generation I did so that's one issue I dont ever see myself facing.
I am pushing 60 years old and have been seeing the same woman for several years and since she's only five years younger than me we both came from a generation where a lot of men owned all sorts of sporting arms and hunted.
So gun ownership and hunting was no big deal.
And since America is no longer the nation we grew up in she had zero issues with me getting my concealed license and a couple of times was quite secure in the fact that I had it on me.
However at the office building at work we actually have televisions in the lunch rooms and usually the news is on and there is no end to the mayhem that takes place in Houston Texas on a daily basis as the low lifes of society go at each other and of course they also go after the straight every day citizenry and I have heard more than my share of negative comments about guns,inparticular handguns from the sub 40 year old generation.
So I'm not so sure if I was a young guy how I would go about this issue.
Glad I came from the generation I did so that's one issue I dont ever see myself facing.
Remo223
member
I've never lived without firearms. My grandpa kept a 1911 in his golf bag...while golfing! All my relatives kept loaded handguns in their cars. Laws were not so strict back then. Even though there were no shall issue laws back then, there were ways to carry legal and there was grey areas. There was some leeway in the law back then.
Not anymore.
what is different is the polarization between the anti gun types and the pro gun types. Used to be many people were middle of the road types...that is people who owned a gun of some kind but were in favor of fairly heavy gun restrictions. Nowdays you have people who think guns are evil and should be abolished IN TOTALITY, and people who are NRA members, and not much in between.
Not anymore.
what is different is the polarization between the anti gun types and the pro gun types. Used to be many people were middle of the road types...that is people who owned a gun of some kind but were in favor of fairly heavy gun restrictions. Nowdays you have people who think guns are evil and should be abolished IN TOTALITY, and people who are NRA members, and not much in between.
JTHunter
Member
Somebody had suggested using the line about doing "competetive shooting" BUT if you do NOT compete, DON'T start the relationship on a lie. Not a good way to start.
On first dates, depending on the location, I am generally not carrying. Mostly, because most of my recent "first dates" have all been at 51% locations...
But I've also carried on dates, and never mentioned it. I don't mention too much about shooting as a hobby, other than to say it is a hobby. I've had a few girls mention an interest in getting their CHL, to which I always reply about having mine, which makes a good discussion topic, but I've never met someone for the first time and been like, "oh hey, I'm carrying a gun".
It *is* a bit awkward when they hear that loud THUD as the pants hit the floor though... but usually by then they have their minds on other things, so it's not really awkward until the next morning trying to put everything back where it goes...
But I've also carried on dates, and never mentioned it. I don't mention too much about shooting as a hobby, other than to say it is a hobby. I've had a few girls mention an interest in getting their CHL, to which I always reply about having mine, which makes a good discussion topic, but I've never met someone for the first time and been like, "oh hey, I'm carrying a gun".
It *is* a bit awkward when they hear that loud THUD as the pants hit the floor though... but usually by then they have their minds on other things, so it's not really awkward until the next morning trying to put everything back where it goes...
AirForceShooter
Member
meet girls at a range.
Problem solved
AFS
Problem solved
AFS
parsimonious_instead
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I live in a generally very liberal area... but I've been surprised (pleasantly) by some women's reactions.
One saw my Desert Eagle background image on my PC after one or two dates, and she was kinda shocked, but liked me more than enough to get past it. Turns out she was ranked by the NRA a few decades ago for her marksmanship at a summer camp. We aren't boyfriend and girlfriend any more, but she occasionally goes with me to the range.
Someone else I met late last year was quite interested in firearms. We were snuggling a bit in my car after we dined out, and during a pause I asked her if she ever went to summer camp. "Yes" she replied. "Why"
"Did you do any riflery there?"
Her eyes lit up and she said, "no, but I've always wanted to try shooting. The subject interests me, and I've watched a lot of NutnFancy's YouTube videos to try and learn more."
We did a bit of dry practice in my apt, but the relationship ended before the weather turned nice enough for us to go shooting. Oh well...
One saw my Desert Eagle background image on my PC after one or two dates, and she was kinda shocked, but liked me more than enough to get past it. Turns out she was ranked by the NRA a few decades ago for her marksmanship at a summer camp. We aren't boyfriend and girlfriend any more, but she occasionally goes with me to the range.
Someone else I met late last year was quite interested in firearms. We were snuggling a bit in my car after we dined out, and during a pause I asked her if she ever went to summer camp. "Yes" she replied. "Why"
"Did you do any riflery there?"
Her eyes lit up and she said, "no, but I've always wanted to try shooting. The subject interests me, and I've watched a lot of NutnFancy's YouTube videos to try and learn more."
We did a bit of dry practice in my apt, but the relationship ended before the weather turned nice enough for us to go shooting. Oh well...
Geckgo
Member
Well the discussion seems geared to ccw, don't know how I would handle that. When I met my wife I owned a 30-06 and I can't even remember when she first found out about it. Course, dating a girl that's in the military tends to make their attitudes towards firearms a bit more lax.
22-rimfire
Member
I grew up with guns. Telling a woman about this would never cross my mind unless the conversation somehow settled on something gun related.
Here's what to do if you are worried.... take a list with you and give it to them on your first date. That would almost guarantee no second date in most cases. She would be thinking... who would give me a list of their firearms on the first date? Strange?
Here's what to do if you are worried.... take a list with you and give it to them on your first date. That would almost guarantee no second date in most cases. She would be thinking... who would give me a list of their firearms on the first date? Strange?
Orangeburger
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- Jun 11, 2011
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- 2
The reason SC does not allow weapons where alcoholic is served is that's where the trouble is likely to be. And that is why I'd like to have my weapon with me.
Orangeburger
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Have you ever tried to work the "More Guns, Less Crime" into the conversation. I know. I try to minimize the gun talk at work too.
Sam1911
Moderator Emeritus
I think the biggest point of contention really is firearms in general. If you are honest and clear in the "so...what do you like to do in your spare time?" phase of getting to know each other, she's going to have processed that you like guns, you own guns, you shoot a lot, guns will be part of your life -- and hers, too, if things continue.
If she's comfortable with that and you get to a second date, third, fourth, etc., then the idea that you would have one with you while you're out and about won't seem more than just a little bit stranger.
But you've got to establish yourself first as someone she likes, admires, trusts, and wants to spend time around before you start into the more socially unusual aspects of your life, like the fact that you have a loaded firearm with you at a romantic dinner.
There's no reason to continue to waste your time and hers if she's never going to be comfortable with your guns and your shooting hobbies. BUT, once you've crossed that bridge, and you know that she accepts and understands guns as useful tools with legitimate purposes, letting her know that you keep one on-hand for defense, always, is a small step.
If she's comfortable with that and you get to a second date, third, fourth, etc., then the idea that you would have one with you while you're out and about won't seem more than just a little bit stranger.
But you've got to establish yourself first as someone she likes, admires, trusts, and wants to spend time around before you start into the more socially unusual aspects of your life, like the fact that you have a loaded firearm with you at a romantic dinner.
There's no reason to continue to waste your time and hers if she's never going to be comfortable with your guns and your shooting hobbies. BUT, once you've crossed that bridge, and you know that she accepts and understands guns as useful tools with legitimate purposes, letting her know that you keep one on-hand for defense, always, is a small step.
Orangeburger,yes I try sometimes in a very subtle way other times if I have known the employee a fair amount of time it will be more directly.
But I learned a long time ago from an old Bible teacher that you cannot reason with unreasonable people.
And a lot of these young people have never been around guns and just dont like them or see the use in them.
But I can say the other day on the local news while we were sitting there eating there was a story of a woman whose home was invaded and while she kept yelling at the punk to please leave she was recording it on her cell phone...The women were horrified to later learn not only did he steal several of her possesions he also took the time to sexually assault her for good measure.
It pissed me off some much I just stated in a very matter of fact way that ALL of this could have been stopped cold with a gun and recommended that if they were interested they should take a NRA shooting class to get more familiar and comfortable with guns.
No takers.
But I learned a long time ago from an old Bible teacher that you cannot reason with unreasonable people.
And a lot of these young people have never been around guns and just dont like them or see the use in them.
But I can say the other day on the local news while we were sitting there eating there was a story of a woman whose home was invaded and while she kept yelling at the punk to please leave she was recording it on her cell phone...The women were horrified to later learn not only did he steal several of her possesions he also took the time to sexually assault her for good measure.
It pissed me off some much I just stated in a very matter of fact way that ALL of this could have been stopped cold with a gun and recommended that if they were interested they should take a NRA shooting class to get more familiar and comfortable with guns.
No takers.
Carrying on the first date? I don't know about the girl, but that would be awkward for me - but then again, dating was awkward for me.
Years ago, back in college, I met this girl who was seeing somebody else at the time; so since I had no chance with her, I wasn't too concerned about discussing shooting and guns. She didn't give any indication of her feelings on the subject, but I later found out that her mother was a hard-core Lib who believed that only LEO's should be armed in society - "... and most of THEM shouldn't be carrying guns, either!"
Of course, by this time the girl's "previous relationship" had ended and she "was receptive" and yeah, we were together. Taught her how to shoot everything I, my Dad and my brother owned - she loved it. Her mother never forgave me for poisoning and endangering her daughter with "evil" loaded guns; but she never forgave me for a lot of things, so.....
31 years and three kids later; that girl and I still go out shooting when we can. The only time she spoke out about my guns is when she took over a sweet little K-frame .357; and told me I had to get myself something else - it was HERS now.
She does still let me shoot that Smith now and then. And we don't talk to my mother-in-law about it.
Years ago, back in college, I met this girl who was seeing somebody else at the time; so since I had no chance with her, I wasn't too concerned about discussing shooting and guns. She didn't give any indication of her feelings on the subject, but I later found out that her mother was a hard-core Lib who believed that only LEO's should be armed in society - "... and most of THEM shouldn't be carrying guns, either!"
Of course, by this time the girl's "previous relationship" had ended and she "was receptive" and yeah, we were together. Taught her how to shoot everything I, my Dad and my brother owned - she loved it. Her mother never forgave me for poisoning and endangering her daughter with "evil" loaded guns; but she never forgave me for a lot of things, so.....
31 years and three kids later; that girl and I still go out shooting when we can. The only time she spoke out about my guns is when she took over a sweet little K-frame .357; and told me I had to get myself something else - it was HERS now.
She does still let me shoot that Smith now and then. And we don't talk to my mother-in-law about it.
W.E.G.
Member
The Speedo and flip-flop set really aren't tuned into guns.
After their cars and apartments get broken-into a few times, and they get robbed on the way home from a night "clubbing," and they gain a few pounds, their attitudes tend to change a bit.
After a few dates, I took my girl out to shoot the 12 gauge.
She handled it without a peep, so we're still together.
After their cars and apartments get broken-into a few times, and they get robbed on the way home from a night "clubbing," and they gain a few pounds, their attitudes tend to change a bit.
After a few dates, I took my girl out to shoot the 12 gauge.
She handled it without a peep, so we're still together.
ArfinGreebly
Moderator Emeritus
Name Dropping
In the "not really serious, but maybe" department . . .
You could, you know, carry a copy of Monster Hunter or another one of Correia's books (have one on the dash, or center console, or wherever).
Oh, that? Well, I know the author, we used to hang out. Did you know he had a gun store near here? Yeah. Quite a guy. Used to go shooting together. Time kinda gets in the way, but I try to keep the hobby alive.
In the "not really serious, but maybe" department . . .
You could, you know, carry a copy of Monster Hunter or another one of Correia's books (have one on the dash, or center console, or wherever).
Oh, that? Well, I know the author, we used to hang out. Did you know he had a gun store near here? Yeah. Quite a guy. Used to go shooting together. Time kinda gets in the way, but I try to keep the hobby alive.
gathert
Member
With my current girlfriend turned ex, she was fine with guns before I got my license to start carrying. Once I got m license, things changed for some reason and she was more uneasy with me actually carrying. Not really sure why and she wouldnt warm up to it so thats part of the reason we broke up. Her dad even got her an NRA life membership but she didnt see a point to carry a gun daily. Sometimes is hard to make tough decisions but they need to be made.
Besides, the only was she ever found out I was carrying was when she gave me a hug.
Besides, the only was she ever found out I was carrying was when she gave me a hug.
IcemanUnlimited
Member
I think my current primary source of income helps me ease into the gun thing with a girl. I like selling pepper sprays, stun guns, blades and more with a good ol' "everyone should be able to protect themselves" attitude. Owning only 1-3 guns helps too (nothing against people with large collections).
At first I thought nobody cared but the more thought I put into it, some people I know are actually freaked out by this. Just doesn't bother me I guess. People I care about are okay with it.
At first I thought nobody cared but the more thought I put into it, some people I know are actually freaked out by this. Just doesn't bother me I guess. People I care about are okay with it.
Its all about your general attitude. If you are a gentleman and she can tell that you genuinely care about her and just want to keep her and yourself safe, then if she is worth having at all your gun will not be a dealbreaker.
However, if you are cocky or rude or just trying to "get some", finding a gun in your pants might be the last straw that makes her ditch you.
Even an anti can make an exception for people they really like. Ive had several people who are against guns in general tell me that it doesnt bother them at all that I have guns.
However, if you are cocky or rude or just trying to "get some", finding a gun in your pants might be the last straw that makes her ditch you.
Even an anti can make an exception for people they really like. Ive had several people who are against guns in general tell me that it doesnt bother them at all that I have guns.
stonecutter2
Member
I had a similar dilemma. I worried about how I would tell my next girlfriend about having guns. It just sort of worked out that her grandpa owned some land with a range, her brother had some guns, her Dad had some guns, her uncle is a cop with guns, and at some family gathering the subject came up about going out to the range, and I was asked if I was interested. Things just went from there.
I wouldn't offer up the info right away without a reason, and I wouldn't force the conversation to cover it. When it comes up, it'll be at the right time. Otherwise I always had the opinion that any gal who stayed at my place should know i have a gun there for self defense.
I wouldn't offer up the info right away without a reason, and I wouldn't force the conversation to cover it. When it comes up, it'll be at the right time. Otherwise I always had the opinion that any gal who stayed at my place should know i have a gun there for self defense.
lizziedog1
Member
Asking a woman if she wants to go shooting is a way to figure things out. Maybe not on the first or second date, but eventually ask. Her reaction will tell you much.
I agree with Justin, tell them in conversation, my hobbys include firearms, I hope that doesn't turn you off, but that's what I spend a great deal of my free time doing. It's not my only interest but important enough that I thought I should mention it to you. Then it's in her court. i only had one girl who was really horrified by it. Out of several hundred. That's not bad odds. I got married at 50, so being in the hair salon business for 21 years, I met and dated a lot of women. Even at one a week do the math, and some weeks, Well, that's why I got married at 50.
There was one girl who actually left my apartment without saying a word, while I was in the bathroom. So you don't know what the reaction would be. This was after we had gone out before and just come back from dinner. She was deathlly afraid of guns, and when I told her I carried one, she freaked. I found this out later. It also cost me a client.
Many of them wanted to see the gun, "not good" at least at first, till you know they are metally stable. In due time. But get it out of the way because you may have to cut her loose if she is a real anti gun fanatic.
When I met my wife I asked her to please put this in her bag, as I had no place to conceal it other than an iwb that was uncomfortable to have dinner with. She just put it in her bag and that was that.
There was one girl who actually left my apartment without saying a word, while I was in the bathroom. So you don't know what the reaction would be. This was after we had gone out before and just come back from dinner. She was deathlly afraid of guns, and when I told her I carried one, she freaked. I found this out later. It also cost me a client.
Many of them wanted to see the gun, "not good" at least at first, till you know they are metally stable. In due time. But get it out of the way because you may have to cut her loose if she is a real anti gun fanatic.
When I met my wife I asked her to please put this in her bag, as I had no place to conceal it other than an iwb that was uncomfortable to have dinner with. She just put it in her bag and that was that.
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