Guns and dating.

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Dude, screen them first, such as if their politics imply they will be anti-gun. I have made a decision to remove people who are members of one particular party from my circle of friends. But get the lady thru the third date. ;)

After that you can take a measured approach and ease her into your other interests. Mention you go target shooting a few times a year -- talk about a little .22 rifle and NOT handguns. Make it about her -- you could even build a day out to the range around her! A nice drive (have her bring her favorite road CD), the fresh outdoors, GIVE her a pair of cheap cool shooting glasses, plan a casual lunch somewhere off the beaten track that is at a special place like a famous barbecue shack...

Then as you get to know her better let her know you are actually a gun-carrying nut.
 
mljdeckard said:
i have found myself abruptly thrust back into the dating scene. (short off-topic story.)

i find myself wondering about all kinds of things i thought i wouldn't ever need to again. Particularly, is there a particular way to handle telling your new romantic prospects that you are carrying?

Is it a good idea to let them know you are armed when you don't know each other very well?

Should you tell them when you first meet that you are armed?

If they freak out, do you say; "oh well, it wouldn't have worked out anyway", or do you take some time to try to calm them down and bring them around, leave the gun home for a while?

Just things i am wondering about.
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where you are from isn't that the norm for most citizens
 
The girls around here (NoVA and MD) are liable to freak out if you don't seem to hate guns. Therefore, firearms stay well out of the way until after she moves in and you reveal that you've been a hunter your whole life.
 
Do not need to ever tell this to anyone. That is the whole point of concealment.
In the future if things progress and you show you are a responsible person and citizen, many peoplen should not feel insecure about that. Also it might give you time to find out the other person's views about personal protection and firearms.

I personally met General Patton's chaplain and after I saw some pictures and I asked him why he carried an pistol being a priest and everything and he told me... If he was captured the Nazis were not going to be stopped with prayers. LOL.

Cheers.
E.
 
I think mentioning that you have shooting as a hobby makes it seem less threatening...
probably help people warm up to it easier than just saying "oh yeah I have a gun in my pants by the way"
 
Well, I OC, and a nice leather holster looks good with a button down, khakis, and dress shoes. Never done the blind date thing, so all the girls I've been out with know I carry beforehand, and often want to go shooting too. On one occasion I had dinner with a girl's parents who were in town, and when her mother asked why I carried a gun, I replied, "For the protection of your lovely daughter" which seemed to leave a good impression with her father. Too bad that one didn't work out.
 
I don't mention it at all until after I've gotten a good feel for them.

Still can be touchy.

One gal was a rabid liberal and hated guns...yet had a target hung on her bedroom wall to show how good of a shot she was. Never could figure that dichotomy out.

Another was okay with guns, wanted to see mine and had me take a picture of her holding one that she promptly sent to her friends and sister, yet freaked out when I had one on me when we went to her very odd ex's house to retrieve some stuff that he was dragging his feet about returning.

Hard to say.

I usually try and go mention owning guns/liking to shoot--->discuss it--->show guns--->go shooting. If this progresses she may learn more.

I have found most gun noob gals end up liking to shoot. Luckily I have several .22's.
 
With me it comes up in normal conversation a lot. I think really the trick is to be relaxed about it and not makes some huge deal about it. I frankly don't think "properly" done guns is the turnoff. It's usually something else. Picture this:

The two of you walk up to the restaurant doors. You take her by her shoulders firmly, look straight into her eyes and tell her: "Here. I want you to carry this. I always carry my .44 magnum in case I have to defend myself or the lives of others. But this restaurant is very touchy and I've observed that one of the waiters who works here comes from the same street as me. He might know I carry. So can you carry it in your purse and hand it to me in case things go south?"

Good Luck with that! How about this one?

The two of you are sitting on a park bench, talking she's just told you for the past thirty minutes about how much she likes ... rock climbing ... I don't know. She asks: "What do you do in your free time?" Nonchalantly you answer: "Oh, I'm a sheep dog. I spend most of my time preparing for the end of the world as we know it and practice my draw, sometimes my reload and my swap between Carbine and Pistol while in the prone. Really, society needs more sheep dogs, or needs to wake up to the dangers around us."

Yeah ... I don't think guns was the issue here either. How about this one?

The two of you walk towards the nice restaurant, when you spot one of the dreaded "No Carry" signs. And even worse! It's legal! You say: "Hang on a sec." You run back to your car, open the door, mess around with what appears to be your belt, close the door, lock the car, run back and hook right back in. She says: "What was that?" You say: "Oh, that no carry sign ... I had to stow my gun real quick." then you open the door for her, walk right in and have a lovely dinner conversation.

Not so bad, eh? One more!

The two of you went hiking, right? You wander by your favorite shooting spot and you spot a 9mm casing. You pick it up, eye it a little and slip it in your pocket. She says: "What was that about?" You say: "Oh, I come and shoot here a lot, and I make my own bullets. So I collect all the old brass that other shooters leave behind and then reload or recycle it."

Shabam~! No creepy factor ... no longwinded rants about constitutionality, sheepdogs, preparedness, damn liberals, stupid conservatives, punk kids, crime ... nothing. Simply another little facet of your personality that shows that this handsome strapping guy walking next to her is a responsible gun owner who seems *nothing* like the freaks on TV who are always yelling about the second amendment.

And that's where I think the problem is, to be honest.
 
Well said Nushif! And right on track with what I intended when I wrote:
I think the biggest point of contention really is firearms in general. If you are honest and clear in the "so...what do you like to do in your spare time?" phase of getting to know each other, she's going to have processed that you like guns, you own guns, you shoot a lot, guns will be part of your life -- and hers, too, if things continue.

If she's comfortable with that and you get to a second date, third, fourth, etc., then the idea that you would have one with you while you're out and about won't seem more than just a little bit stranger.
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Giving time for your personality and responsibility to show through -- and hopefully outshine the shagginess and smell of your 'sheepdog' outfit :)D) --, is the best play. Don't fool her, and don't waste your time and hers if she's never going to accept that part of your life. But don't lead off with "I'm Jim. I carry a gun. What's your name?" either.

That does presuppose a certain amount of time invested in getting to know each other before she's going to discover it on her own. If your plans are on a more ... accelerated ... schedule, you'll have to cut to the chase a bit sooner.
 
That does presuppose a certain amount of time invested in getting to know each other before she's going to discover it on her own. *If your plans are on a more ... accelerated ... schedule, you'll have to cut to the chase a bit sooner.
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On a safety related note...when things are "accelerated" they are usually "aggressive." Make sure your holster covers the trigger guard completely and you are carrying something with a drop safety. If someone beats you to the draw, pants fall rather quickly with a sidearm attached to them. ;)
 
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My girlfriend is completely fine with me owning guns, although she is iffy on actually shooting them herself, and i am not going to push her on the issue. There is no point in making her do something she doesn't want to do.

Oh and i was completely up front with her on owning guns from when the time we first met, and went out several months later. So she knew going in to our relationship that i liked guns.

Honesty is the best policy!
 
Don't automatically link political association with anti-gun. There is certainly the stereotype of liberal gun banners out there but I think more of it is a party line than personal opinion.

Here in the liberal side of WA I know touch-feely peace for all vegan liberal females who are interested in shooting. I see "granola" type earthy folks at the range.

You'd be surprised how many women, regardless of political leanings, are interested in guns.
 
Being a man that loves firearms myself, I'm going to give you some advice: Women, in general, enjoy having conversations about things they like and they like for you to keep them involved in conversation about things that interest them and subjects that lead to or will lead further onto things THEY like. Women, in general, view firearms as a "guy" thing and they shouldn't be discussed on a first, or maybe even second date. Politics, firearms, marriage, religion, etc. shouldn't be discussed heavily or at all when you're trying to court a woman you are interested in, trust me, the mention of firearms at this point may very well put her off. Some may try to chime in and say likewise, but just go with me on this. I love guns and won't give mine up for anything, but save the gun talk with the fellas and focus more on wooing the woman you like.

I say women in general because I took into account the interests of a majority of the women I personally know and interact with. This is an opinion I derived only from the women I know from my own life, so I cannot account for the interests and thought patterns of all women around the world, but I'm fairly confident in saying that a majority of the women in my life are your "average, good women" that pretty much think similarly, or at least I'd like to believe so. Not trying to gloat or generalize, but societal norms and the understanding of the majority is something we must always take into account, whether it be your personal stance on gun ownership/control or relationship advice.
 
I would say it is situational if she seems okay with firearms than go ahead and tell her. If you are not sure wait. The wonderful woman I am engaged to now likes shooting and the first time I talked to her, she expressed interest in guns and I told her that I carried. She never had a problem with my hobby. Although her mother.... I also admit looking back I could have waited until I know for sure that she like guns enough that she would not freak out.
 
First date is just a toe in the water. I've had many first dates that weren't followed by a second.

Guns are normally second or third date material, either in conversation, or an invitation to the range. Its easy for both of us to walk away if we feel the need to.

Despite living in the mountains of NC, well, now TN, I seem to end up meeting a lot of anti-gun women. The ones that aren't anti-gun end up having other issues, so I pretty much gave up.
 
mljdeckard said:
I have found myself abruptly thrust back into the dating scene. (Short off-topic story.)

I find myself wondering about all kinds of things I thought I wouldn't ever need to again. Particularly, is there a particular way to handle telling your new romantic prospects that you are carrying?

Is it a good idea to let them know you are armed when you don't know each other very well?

Should you tell them when you first meet that you are armed?

If they freak out, do you say; "Oh well, it wouldn't have worked out anyway", or do you take some time to try to calm them down and bring them around, leave the gun home for a while?

Just things I am wondering about.
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Darn good question. Not sure how I would answer it, but my eldest kid just graduated from college up in Virginia and works in Virginia Beach. He has a conceal/carry permit, and carries all the time. He's very much into guns and has some pistols, a shotgun and an AK 47.

He started liking this girl from New Jersey who knew nothing about guns and never fired a gun in her life. So he took her to a local firing range to shoot all of his guns.

She loved it. Her favorite gun, believe it or not, was the Remington 11-87 shotgun.

Later this month he'll be traveling to New Jersey to meet her parents, and he's flying down here with her for the fourth of July weekend so she can meet us. Sounds very serious.

So, I guess the moral of the story is to take your date to the firing range. If she likes it - marry her. ;)
 
some weirdo that spends time shooting alone at a range
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Hey, that's ME! :)
Good thing my wife likes guns as much as I do. I don't remember any dates that went south due to firearms back in the day, but I wasn't much of a ladies man or playboy when I was a bachelor, except back in the military, and there was no carrying then.
 
If I were anticipating any "physical contact" I'd not carry on the first date. If not I would like any other day then I'd try to find out how the person feels about firearms and take it from there.
 
I live in a small town in Missouri, and when you go on a date with a girl here, you're just as likely to feel a gun concealed on her as she would on you :)

I don't have that problem with dating and wondering. I am a firearms manufacturer (Type 07) and a Small Arms Repairer for the US Army (I repair machine guns for the Army). So any woman I date already knows i have/carry firearm(s).
 
Guys take girls to dinner because that is what they think they want. What they really like is to do something...so ask if she would like to go to teh range for a first date, maybe dinner after...then she may invite you to dinner...to be a keeper she has to be able to shoot and cook you know. :D
 
"I live in a small town in Missouri, and when you go on a date with a girl here, you're just as likely to feel a gun concealed on her as she would on you "

Hmm, i'd be careful about assuming its a concealed gun in her pocket.
 
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