TexasRifleman
Moderator Emeritus
Might as well take the guns, sounds like he will be a prohibited person soon anyway most likely, he won't be needing them.
Guns in repayment of a loan
- Thread starter junyo
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Never lend money to a friend--give it to them if you can afford to do so. That way it costs the same as a loan but sometimes you get to keep the friend. If you can't afford to loose the money tell them no in the beginning. NEVER tell a wife or SO about loans or gifts to friends or family. They never forget, and will bring it up at the worst possible time. (like it was their money to start with)
Russ Jackson
member
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The guy is a loser and your wife knows it. Time to let your loser drunk buddies go and get on with married life. The people telling you to tell your Wife to be to stay out of it are wAy wrong. She is your partner and should have had a hand in the loan in the first place. Start keeping stuff from your wife and the two of you will just be another statistic. Time to break the ties with the loser buddy and move on to a better life. The best deal I have ever had is my Wife of 25 years. ...Russ. jmo
leadcounsel
member
Choose your friendship over the money.
Take the guns as collateral and document the repayment terms of the cash.
If he screws you then it's on him. You can trade/sell the guns later if you don't like them.
Or just eat the loan and move on.
Take the guns as collateral and document the repayment terms of the cash.
If he screws you then it's on him. You can trade/sell the guns later if you don't like them.
Or just eat the loan and move on.
If you take the guns and keep them, I'd bet in a bit of time - he will come around saying he wants them back. He needs to protect himself, etc. He loves his gun. Come on, buddy - can't take a man's guns, dog, truck. Blah, blah.
If you take them, sell them quickly.
'
If the loan is really small and doesn't impact you seriously - write if off as the stupid prize (like I never did anything stupid). Then ditch him as a friend to please the wife. If you keep contact you will regret it.
By the way, it this Dear Abby?
If you take them, sell them quickly.
'
If the loan is really small and doesn't impact you seriously - write if off as the stupid prize (like I never did anything stupid). Then ditch him as a friend to please the wife. If you keep contact you will regret it.
By the way, it this Dear Abby?
TexasGunbie
Member
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It's just me but when I lend money out, I consider it gone. So I usually don't lend out money!
In your case, consider your money gone, and just take what you can get back. Even if the gun is crap.
In your case, consider your money gone, and just take what you can get back. Even if the gun is crap.
leadcounsel
member
vs.
Wow some of you are harsh! SO those that think he's a loser - you've never had a rough patch?
ZCORR Jay
Member
I'd take the guns cause honestly it sounds like he isn't going to be rolling in dough anytime soon so you might as well cut your losses but I'd also make sure to tell the guy exactly what I thought of the situation.
22-rimfire
Member
I didn't hear an amount?? The amount kind of puts things into perspective sometimes.
You started your thread by saying "I HAVE A FRIEND" NOT an acquaintance. Your "FRIEND" had fallen to hard times, losing his job, his girl friend and getting a DUI. The DUI is his fault but as a friend that should be overlooked. As a friend you need to have his back. As a friend you should stay by his side until he is on his feet and better times come. Right now he is in a rough patch, which tests all true friendships as well as family. I do not take the label of Friend lightly. I can count the friends I have on one hand. My acquaintances are many I need to take off my shoes and yours as well to count that many. People take the term friend lightly and if times are great for them they are your friends, if times are bad they get treated like dogs and cast aside. Decide whether you are his friend and he is yours.
Yoda
Member
Call it kinda tough love
Take the guns. He'll miss them, and he'll either straighten up his act, in which case you've done a good thing, or he'll continue to live poorly, in which case you will have gotten the best deal you're going to get.
BTW: Check to verify that the guns are fully legal; that is, not stolen, and not illegally assembled.
- - - Yoda
Take the guns. He'll miss them, and he'll either straighten up his act, in which case you've done a good thing, or he'll continue to live poorly, in which case you will have gotten the best deal you're going to get.
BTW: Check to verify that the guns are fully legal; that is, not stolen, and not illegally assembled.
- - - Yoda
JTHunter
Member
junyo - as you said:
And, as berrettaprofessor commented about your SO giving you an earful, you might want to have a little chat with her as well. Not a good sign.
If you mean your friend's "ownership" of this gun is questionable, who do you think is the person getting trouble if you sell it (or pawn it) and it turns out to NOT be his??
And, as berrettaprofessor commented about your SO giving you an earful, you might want to have a little chat with her as well. Not a good sign.
Let us look at this objectively:
1) The Friend
You do not want this man's guns. I once bought a rifle from a friend who was going throught a rough patch. I didn't really like the rifle so, when I had a rough patch of my own, over a year later, I sold the rifle to a mutual acquaintance. This was twenty years ago and he STILL gives me crap for selling "his" gun.
You need to sit your friend down, face to face, and tell him that, as far as you're concerned, you don't want his guns and further, he owes you nothing. If he finds himself in a place where he comfortable paying you back, so be it. Otherwise, don't worry about it. Two things, however--first, we will never speak of this again and, second, NEVER ask for another loan. If he feels all that guilty, he'll pawn the guns himself and, at least, get you SOME money. Or not.
2) The Squeeze
A) The Money--you need to decide how you're going to handle the money in your marriage. I've seen it handled Yours, Mine, and Ours, where each partner contributes XXX amount of dollars to the general fund and the rest belongs to that partner, and I've seen all the dough going into the general fund with each partner allowed XX amount of dollars for walking around money. Each of these systems can be successful but neither partner has the right to demand an accounting of the other's personal money. Period.
B) The Friend--this is where it gets really hard. You need to decide RIGHT NOW how much input your wife will have in your maintenance of friendships. Certainly, if she just can't stand Joe, don't bring him around her but, if you like Joe's company, does she still get to tell you that you can't hang around with Joe any more? Better get that part nailed down soonest.
I realize how presumptive it is to offer advice to a complete stranger but a) I've been in these situations myself and b) sometimes an outside party, who has no knowledge of--and therefore no emotional investment in--the players is the clearest thinker.
Hope you get everything settled to your satisfaction--
ed
1) The Friend
You do not want this man's guns. I once bought a rifle from a friend who was going throught a rough patch. I didn't really like the rifle so, when I had a rough patch of my own, over a year later, I sold the rifle to a mutual acquaintance. This was twenty years ago and he STILL gives me crap for selling "his" gun.
You need to sit your friend down, face to face, and tell him that, as far as you're concerned, you don't want his guns and further, he owes you nothing. If he finds himself in a place where he comfortable paying you back, so be it. Otherwise, don't worry about it. Two things, however--first, we will never speak of this again and, second, NEVER ask for another loan. If he feels all that guilty, he'll pawn the guns himself and, at least, get you SOME money. Or not.
2) The Squeeze
A) The Money--you need to decide how you're going to handle the money in your marriage. I've seen it handled Yours, Mine, and Ours, where each partner contributes XXX amount of dollars to the general fund and the rest belongs to that partner, and I've seen all the dough going into the general fund with each partner allowed XX amount of dollars for walking around money. Each of these systems can be successful but neither partner has the right to demand an accounting of the other's personal money. Period.
B) The Friend--this is where it gets really hard. You need to decide RIGHT NOW how much input your wife will have in your maintenance of friendships. Certainly, if she just can't stand Joe, don't bring him around her but, if you like Joe's company, does she still get to tell you that you can't hang around with Joe any more? Better get that part nailed down soonest.
I realize how presumptive it is to offer advice to a complete stranger but a) I've been in these situations myself and b) sometimes an outside party, who has no knowledge of--and therefore no emotional investment in--the players is the clearest thinker.
Hope you get everything settled to your satisfaction--
ed
Arkansas Paul
Member
I think when he said uncertain origins, he meant he wasn't sure where it was manufactored. At least that's what I got. I don't know anything about fals though. They could have all been manufactored in the same place for all I know.
Barr
Member
If you do not think you will ever see the money again, I would take the guns in exchange and sell them.
As for the wife-to-be thing, my wife is my partner. In most things she supports me and has only rarely said no to a gun purchase etc. Usually it is, can you wait a month or so not ultimatum statements. I always try to treat her in the same vein. She knows what I have and what I pay for it and I never have to defend that position. If I abuse that trust it sets a bad precedent for both people.
As for the wife-to-be thing, my wife is my partner. In most things she supports me and has only rarely said no to a gun purchase etc. Usually it is, can you wait a month or so not ultimatum statements. I always try to treat her in the same vein. She knows what I have and what I pay for it and I never have to defend that position. If I abuse that trust it sets a bad precedent for both people.
22-rimfire
Member
I tend to go with Ms6852 as far as "friends" go. I would stick by a true friend. The dollar amount does make some difference, but it does not make any difference with regard to "principles" involved. When I was in my 20's and very self righteous about certain things, I would have dumped that "friend". Years later, I would stick with him because friends are hard to come by. I feel that the current blood alchohol level to be considered DUI is too low and a bit self righteous. I understand concerns for driving safely and the potential for an accident when under the influence.
A DUI, even a second one in a year is not the end of the world, but it does tend to indicate a problem. If he was caught twice, I would assume that drinking and driving is a relatively common thing. The amount consumed changes before driving and judgement is often impaired.
You don't want the guns. I would leave it at that. Sometimes things test friendships and money often puts the most stress on a friendship. Not a good idea to loan money to friends or family if you can avoid it. But stick with the friend and take the ride with him, and wait for the money. You have nothing to loose but a friend and some money. But you may well get or keep both.
A DUI, even a second one in a year is not the end of the world, but it does tend to indicate a problem. If he was caught twice, I would assume that drinking and driving is a relatively common thing. The amount consumed changes before driving and judgement is often impaired.
You don't want the guns. I would leave it at that. Sometimes things test friendships and money often puts the most stress on a friendship. Not a good idea to loan money to friends or family if you can avoid it. But stick with the friend and take the ride with him, and wait for the money. You have nothing to loose but a friend and some money. But you may well get or keep both.
There are some other options which will accomplish what you want and teach him at the same time.
Make HIM sell his guns and hand you the cash. This will teach him 2 things the value of caring for his guns properly, because of the lack of care he may have to sell more than he wants. And that you are not the cash tree.
Small claims court if you know you can win will give you a judgement that is good for years. So you can then go after his paycheck directly. The lawyer should be the one waiting. Your loan came first.
Sorry for his tough times but that is no excuse for his behavior. I've gone through a few of them in my life and my total DUI's = zero. Drinking and driving in todays world is just STUPID. Cab trip home 20 bucks, DUI 10,000 bucks, the math just is not there to support the drive.
Then that gets us to my last point. You made the decision to loan your friend the money. You need to tell the SO to get over it. And you have to man up and tell her that you knew the risk and were willing to write it off. She won't like it but she has to understand that the decision was made and just let it go.
Good Luck I've been where you are....
Make HIM sell his guns and hand you the cash. This will teach him 2 things the value of caring for his guns properly, because of the lack of care he may have to sell more than he wants. And that you are not the cash tree.
Small claims court if you know you can win will give you a judgement that is good for years. So you can then go after his paycheck directly. The lawyer should be the one waiting. Your loan came first.
Sorry for his tough times but that is no excuse for his behavior. I've gone through a few of them in my life and my total DUI's = zero. Drinking and driving in todays world is just STUPID. Cab trip home 20 bucks, DUI 10,000 bucks, the math just is not there to support the drive.
Then that gets us to my last point. You made the decision to loan your friend the money. You need to tell the SO to get over it. And you have to man up and tell her that you knew the risk and were willing to write it off. She won't like it but she has to understand that the decision was made and just let it go.
Good Luck I've been where you are....
Russ Jackson
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Two DUI's in twelve months means this guy had no regard for anyone but himself. Can anyone say Alcholic? Tell the guy you will help him kick the habit before he kills someone. I hope he loses his drivers license for a longtime. Wonder why the girl left him? If he doesn't catch a grip soon he will be asking to move in with you. Making excuses for this guy saying he hit a rough patch is not the answer. He needs a friend to tell him it is time to grow up. He doesn't take care of the guns so take them. He didn't take care of his girl so someone else is. He didn't take care of his license so he lost it. He lost his job most likely because he is a irresponsible drunk. He didn't respect you as his friend so he is taking advantage of you. The only one who has a clue here is your Wife to be. Seems like she see's things pretty clear. You better keep her and listen as well. The money thing between spouses shouldn't be a thing. Be honest, never lie, talk about all major money decisions, save as much as you can afford, if you can't pay cash you can't buy it, and ALWAYS TREAT YOUR WIFE BETTER THAN YOUR BEST FRIEND. Just an opinion from a very opinionated person. ...Russ
LibShooter
Member
It sounds like you're either going to get nothing from this guy or a couple of guns from this guy. Take the guns.
Assuming the FAL is not stolen, or sporting a filed S/N take it, too. However, I suggest buying the guns for $1 each complete with bills of sale. I don't mean to suggest your buddy is untrustworthy, but he is going through some tough times.
And don't lie to your SO!
AKPaul makes a point, unless you're already sharing a home or bank account. If you are, she deserves a say.
Assuming the FAL is not stolen, or sporting a filed S/N take it, too. However, I suggest buying the guns for $1 each complete with bills of sale. I don't mean to suggest your buddy is untrustworthy, but he is going through some tough times.
And don't lie to your SO!
AKPaul makes a point, unless you're already sharing a home or bank account. If you are, she deserves a say.
rbernie
Contributing Member
Well, we've let this thread run forty five posts long, knowing fully well that it has nothing to do with guns and almost everything to do with interpersonal relationship dynamics. That's probably far more leeway than we give most, and frankly I need to shut this down before I get too many other complaints over 'you shut MY thread down but let that other one go on!' from other folk.
So we're done here.
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