I was taught to use "Sir" and "Ma'am" as a little kid. I still do, with any adults whom I don't know and with many who I do know. Further, it doesn't startle or offend me to be called "Sir" by others over whom I have no authority (which category includes pretty much everyone). I've known quite a number of law enforcement people whose standard form of address for regular citizens is the same as mine (and for those of you who don't know me, I'm not in law enforcement).
I don't see the words as indicative of a caste system. To me, "Sir" isn't as loaded a word as some members' posts seem to indicate. Of course, I've had people ask me not to call them "Sir," and naturally I've followed their wishes about it. My belief is that, in the military, the words indicate deference. In my world, they do not.
rmmoore said:
Addressing another person as sir or ma'am is a cultural issue in many parts of the country. Perhaps in your particular part of the Country politeness and courtesy are outdated and ancient. Well, in MY part of the Country, they're NOT. I like it, and PREFER it that way.
It's not usually the words themselves. Deanimator has stated repeatedly that he uses the words "officer" or "trooper," both of which are unassailably correct. He's written that he employs formal politeness and refuses to do something that he sees as fawning. Refusal to use the word, "Sir" is completely different from addressing someone as "ya stupid flatfoot." Having read Deanimator's posts for some years, I'd be hard to convince if someone told me that he'd ever said that sort of thing to a young or mistaken law enforcement officer.
Deanimator said:
He's entitled to his opinions. He also entitled to keep them to himself when there's a captive audience, forbidden by law to demur.
I wholeheartedly concur. If that happens, though, I believe that the individual is flatly unable to learn that from me at that moment. If his behavior out of line, I need to make his bosses teach him that later, not step into the role of instructor at the side of the road.
When someone has shown that he or she doesn't merit your respect, courtesy is a useful tool in disengaging from the situation without encouraging further poor behavior from that person.
In general, I follow this notion:
Robert Heinlein: The Notebooks of Lazarus Long said:
Moving parts in rubbing contact require lubrication to avoid excessive wear. Honorifics and formal politeness provide lubrication where people rub together. Often the very young, the untraveled, the naive, the unsophisticated deplore these formalities as “empty,” “meaningless,” or “dishonest,” and scorn to use them. No matter how “pure” their motives, they thereby throw sand into machinery that does not work too well at best.
It's good for armed people to be more polite than they need to be, when in public.
