Quantcast

Home defense for my wife

Discussion in 'Strategies, Tactics and Training' started by gfpd707, Apr 14, 2010.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. gfpd707

    gfpd707 Member

    Joined:
    Nov 28, 2009
    Messages:
    253
    Location:
    Illinois
    To make a long story short I work nights and I am concerened that about my wife safety. The town I live in has a limited police presence and in the middle of the night it might be 15 minutes or more before someone could be there to help. I have a benelli supernova that I would consider my home defense weapon but I am concerned that she might not be able to handle it. So I amlooking at purchasing a Glock 19 for her to use. My concern is she has never had much expierence with firearms so I would like to get her more familar with them. However she probably wont listen or take me seriously. So the university where I work offers a firearms saftey course. Has had any expierence having a family member trained by someone else? How did it go?
     
  2. CTGunner

    CTGunner Member

    Joined:
    May 31, 2009
    Messages:
    934
    I would get a 7 or 8 shot revolver and a good flashlight. I think this will work better for someone who isn't willing to train.
     
  3. mljdeckard

    mljdeckard Member

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2006
    Messages:
    12,994
    Location:
    In a part of Utah that resembles Tattooine.
    Sending her to the course is probably a good idea for a couple of reasons.

    If she is having a hard time taking the idea seriously coming from you, she might take it more seriously from someone else. Honestly, training from a third party is often more objective and straightforward.

    I am one of the guys in here who says it's never a good idea to reach for a handgun first if you can possibly get something bigger. Perhaps you're right and it isn't a great idea to drop her right into a Benelli. But on the other hand, there might be some middle ground that she could handle that is a lot more potent than a Glock 19. (My wife's primary is a M-1 carbine.) Think about it.
     
  4. Sam1911

    Sam1911 Moderator Emeritus

    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2007
    Messages:
    34,964
    Location:
    Central PA
    Having someone else teach her is about 200% more likely to be useful than you trying to do the instruction.

    Most folks just say that's a "husbands and wives" universal truth.

    I'd say you're on the right track, but a "firearms safety course" isn't any thing close to a defensive course. She may certainly need the safety course first, but don't expect her to learn anything about proper tactics for defending herself with a handgun in that class.
     
  5. gearchecker

    gearchecker Member

    Joined:
    Mar 13, 2009
    Messages:
    294
    Location:
    North Idaho
    My wife and 2 of her best friends are all taking a handgun training course next Saturday at the local indoor range. The course is complete from A to Z, and it's an 8 hour course.
    It's so much easier for them to accept training from a pro as from a spouse or immediate family member. I look at it like trying to teach your wife or daughter to drive. It's better to have a pro teach them.
    The pro won't miss any of the steps necessary to make them proficient and safe.
    The pro won't worry so much about the reprecussions of looking at them funny if they do something wrong either. You won't get upset either, or flustered because they "just don't get it".
    The pro will go over it 3 or 4, or 5, or 6 times, if that's what it takes for them to learn what is needed. I taught her the basics and the pro will fine tune her shooting and handling skills.
    The real bonus is they're all excited about getting training from a pro, and now they all love shooting.
    After this course this is done they'll all be taking their CCW course together in about 4 weeks.

    For me - They go for training for the whole day and I get to spend the morning at the shooting range on the other side of town from them. Win, Win for all of us.
     
  6. gfpd707

    gfpd707 Member

    Joined:
    Nov 28, 2009
    Messages:
    253
    Location:
    Illinois
    I would like her to learn proper safety and then later work on tactics. I just figured she would listen to someone in a uniform more than me just taking her out to the farm to shoot at targets.
     
  7. gfpd707

    gfpd707 Member

    Joined:
    Nov 28, 2009
    Messages:
    253
    Location:
    Illinois
    My biggest prolbem is I live in central Illinois and I have not been able to find any defensive fiream courses offered around here.
     
  8. Fred Fuller

    Fred Fuller Moderator Emeritus

    Joined:
    Mar 26, 2004
    Messages:
    21,218
    Location:
    AL, NC
    The main question IMHO is, does SHE want to learn? If she's not on board with the idea, I doubt anyone can teach her much of anything.

    There are reasons the short list in my sig line is in that order...

    fwiw,

    lpl
     
  9. gfpd707

    gfpd707 Member

    Joined:
    Nov 28, 2009
    Messages:
    253
    Location:
    Illinois
    She is becoming more and more receptive to using a firearm. I just dont want to stop the progress by her having a bad first expierence.
     
  10. mothermopar

    mothermopar Member

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2010
    Messages:
    193
    Training and practice should be the primary objective... So be sure she is willing to do that before buying anything.

    If she is willing, keeping in mind she may never be truly tactically proficient:

    A revolver is your best bet as far as a handgun goes. A double action revolver is about as reliable as it gets and malfunctions are few. Simple operation. Do NOT buy anything smaller than a 38. Smith and Wesson makes a good revolver, they aren't horribly
    expensive and are of good quality. Look around; there are other brands as well.

    Long guns... I say a pump or side by side 20 gauge if she's recoil sensitive. Use 00 buck. You may also look into some reduced recoil 12 gauge 00 buck shells too...

    Stay away from semi auto anythings if she won't practice shooting and clearing malfunctions alot.
     
  11. Fred Fuller

    Fred Fuller Moderator Emeritus

    Joined:
    Mar 26, 2004
    Messages:
    21,218
    Location:
    AL, NC
    If she wants to learn, IMHO you're probably better off if someone else does the initial training. And if that someone else is 1) qualified to train, and 2) also a woman, then you're likely 10X better off than doing it yourself.

    My wife has taught women to shoot for a good many years, being one of the initial instructors in a series of Ladies' Handgun Clinics offered in the Triangle area of NC. I would far rather have her teach most women who are just getting started than to try and do it myself. Any number of training facilities offer 'testosterone free' classes, for good reason most of the time.

    Fortunately for me, my wife was already a well trained shooter, a trainer, an IPSC shooter and an IPSC RO when I married her. She's a past president of the NRA-affiliated state rifle and pistol association and an NRA life member too.

    Take a look at http://www.corneredcat.com/Men/wifehateguns.aspx for some pointers on things not to do... :D

    fwiw,

    lpl
     
  12. Onward Allusion

    Onward Allusion Member

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2009
    Messages:
    3,388
    Location:
    IN between
    My wife is a convert. She is now a true believer of RKBA. Before she met me, she never touched a firearm. I went slow and started her off with a .22LR revolver and moved up to a .38 spl then a 9mm and finally a 40S&W. The process took about a year. It doesn't sound like you're in the same situation and you need her buy-in yesterday.

    Therefore, I would also agree that your wife should take a firearms class to get acclimated. However, I would go one step further and suggest that you take the class with her, regardless of your level of expertise. It'll give you two something to discuss after the class. I would let the instructor do his/her thing and observe and participate as a student. Who knows, maybe you'll learn something too.




     
    Last edited: Apr 15, 2010
  13. MarineOne

    MarineOne Member

    Joined:
    May 5, 2009
    Messages:
    361
    My wife was similar .... never had been around firearms, and was clueless about 2A because she was an Army brat that grew up in Europe.

    While living in wonderful southern California, the weekend after Fourth of July in 2004 our townhouse complex was raided by the San Bernardino County Sheriff, the Ontario Police Department, and we had helos from CHP and the SO flying overhead. It was not fun trying to park much less trying to get home. The various agencies arrested 20 people from 4 or 5 different townhomes that night, all on major drug charges.

    That was the night she told me to teach her how to use a weapon.

    Since then, she knows how to use all my rifles and handguns, my M1C is "her preffered choice", and I bought an XDm 9mm for her trying to get my M1C back. That M1C is still her favorite.



    -K
     
  14. FAS1

    FAS1 Member

    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2009
    Messages:
    756
    Location:
    San Antonio, TX
    Take the class with her, get a medium size revolver and don't forget to have a good safe place to store it. Most women won't feel comfortable leaving a gun laying around. I have sold more boxes to women than I ever thought I would. Also found more women with guns than I thought. They just don't talk about it much.
     
  15. Patriotme

    Patriotme Member

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2009
    Messages:
    584
    I agree with most of those here.
    Get her a revolver. If she's not going to put the time into learning how to use a gun then it's best to keep things as simple as possible.
     
  16. Marlin 45 carbine

    Marlin 45 carbine Member

    Joined:
    Jul 15, 2007
    Messages:
    2,477
    Location:
    South-Western North Carolina
    right much ditto #12, except not wifey but 3 of my 5 sisters that were receptive to some handgun training. started them with a .22LR revolver shooting water-filled balloons hanging from limbs (all thought this was fun!) then on up to bigger bores, .32acp and .38 spcl from a GP100 4" and then to what I thought was an ideal s-d weapon a .380acp.
    2 opted for a .380acp semi Bersa (which I well wrung-out to check) but one didn't like the 'noise' and 'blast' so went with a Beretta .32acp. I would not want to be on the bizz end of those gal's pistols. actually a 9-shot .22LR loaded with some of the 'hot' load h-p's would give good service as a purely h-d gun. would'nt by any means consider it adequate for a gunfilght but to run off burglars and such it would do the job.
     
  17. Fred Fuller

    Fred Fuller Moderator Emeritus

    Joined:
    Mar 26, 2004
    Messages:
    21,218
    Location:
    AL, NC
    Don't overlook the classes offered by certified NRA instructors, if available in your area. See http://www.nrainstructors.org/CourseCatalog.aspx for course descriptions and an instructor locator (the "Find A Course" box). Especially look at the "Refuse To Be A Victim" and the "Personal Protection In The Home" classes.

    lpl
     
  18. HOWARD J

    HOWARD J Member

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2010
    Messages:
    2,461
    Location:
    S/E Michigan
    After 46 years my wife said" I want to get a gun & have you teach me how to use it"
    I almost had a second heart attack...................
    After a couple of weapons she settled on a Sig P-238. She does fine with this weapon & keeps it where she can access it in a hurry.
    We don't get much range time anymore---Helping one grandkid buy a house & another to pay college tuition.
    Our son's wife had a stroke this week--this scares the hell out of me---they have 2 kids 8/9-----man. I an too old for this s**t.............................
    Wife is on a cruise until Sat.-------this will come as a bad shock upon return.
    Ain't life a Bit*h................................

    Just got an update---looks like she will not make it............................
     
    Last edited: Apr 15, 2010
  19. Bix

    Bix Member

    Joined:
    Jun 14, 2003
    Messages:
    750
    My wife took a womens' defensive shooting class from Vicki Farnam. She enjoyed it and picked up very valuable mindset and skillsets. Vicki is highly recommended:

    http://www.defense-training.com/vickires.html

    Agree entirely. I'd been going away to classes for years before my wife showed any interest. Without the mindset shift, training is a waste of time and money.

    Agreeing with Lee again... Although I'd taken more than a dozen classes by the time she was ready to begin training, I intentionally did not attempt to "teach" my wife anything beyond the four rules. Never took her shooting, etc. - she was a 'blank slate' for her instructor. She wound up shooting the best time in her class on the qual. The approach worked for us.

    Well, that all depends on how far you're willing to drive :).

    Andy and Bob at MTG run a variety of classes and host some of the national traveling instructors at Darnall's Range in Bloomington, IL each year:

    http://www.midwesttraininggroup.net/schedule.htm

    If Vicki's class sounds interesting, she's running both womens' basic and womens' advanced handgun classes in Rochester, IN this summer:

    http://www.defense-training.com/sched/schedform.html

    There are, suprisingly, a lot of training options in Illinois, Indiana, and Wisconsin, if you're willing to drive a couple hours for a weekend class. If you are interestet in more, shoot me a PM.
     
  20. CoRoMo

    CoRoMo Member

    Joined:
    Sep 21, 2007
    Messages:
    8,952
    Location:
    Californicated Colorado
    A mildly motivated wife can be an expensive student, but as long as she's interested, it's well worth the cost. Seek out and find an NRA Basic Pistol class for women only. It'll probably come at a premium, but her feeling comfortable with the instruction setting is important. You'll be pressed to find any of the next levels of NRA courses, in a women's only format, but if you can find one, pay for it. (NRA Personal Protection Inside the Home & NRA Personal Protection Outside the Home)

    Also, find an indoor range where she can rent whatever pistols she likes, and pay whatever it takes. Hopefully she'll try out a pistol that ends up fitting her and she'll enjoy shooting it as often as you shoot yours. Then you buy her that gun, and the more she practices with it, the more natural it will be for her to operate it if she ever has to defend herself.

    If her interest level increases, and she starts to have questions, send her over to corneredcat.com

    hth
     
  21. hso

    hso Moderator Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2003
    Messages:
    53,387
    Location:
    0 hrs east of TN
    I always advocate having spouses trained by someone else and the training should be done separately whenever possible. It removes all the "family dynamics". I don't train wives with a husbands present or vice versa because it allows them to concentrate on the material instead of looking to each other for feedback or trying to impress the other or not "embarrass" themselves in front of the other. The men are usually the problem.

    I'll second looking for NRA instructors in the area. Also look for shooting courses put on by your IDNR that are focused on women. Many state wildlife agencies are now focusing on women as the future growth of all shooting sports and are offering courses tailored to them. You might just get lucky.

    Also, don't assume that a Glock 9mm is "right" for her.

    It may be that a 20 or 16 gauge shotgun is what she'd rather shoot.

    It may be that a Glock doesn't fit her and that a CZ does or an XD. Have her look at corneredcat.com and facilitate her trying on as many different types of guns as possible so she can pick what fits her instead of what fits your or our idea of what she "should" have.
     
    Last edited: Apr 15, 2010
  22. uspJ

    uspJ Member

    Joined:
    Dec 26, 2009
    Messages:
    603
    Location:
    Georgia
    i 2nd the glock 19 and good training program. i don't really see how people say that auto's are more difficult to learn with than revolvers. load, rack slide, point and shoot. much higher capacity than any revolver available and should be just as dependable if a quality pistol is used. a good 8 hour course should have her as familiar with her weapon and it's function as she's going to get.

    of course she'll need to practice,practice,practice to become proficient with it, any firearm is useless if you can't hit what your aiming at.
     
  23. Shawn Dodson

    Shawn Dodson Member

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2002
    Messages:
    2,433
    You both need to be honest with yourselves - is she willing to invest the time and effort to be proficient in operating an automatic pistol for home defense, especially the training required to quickly clear stoppages?

    Has she had the opportunity to shoot an auto pistol yet? If not, maybe the experience will ignite an excitement in her to really learn to shoot (Hey, this is really a lot of fun!!!).

    If she seems indifferent or shows little enthusiasm, then I suggest a revolver with a smooth, double-action trigger.

    I keep an 8-shot S&W .22 LR revolver in the "retreat room" for my wife and daughter, in case they need a gun for home defense. The idea is to have a gun that doesn't recoil much and doesn't require much skill to successfully operate. Both of them enjoy shooting, both have their own guns, but they don't have enough of an interest to maintain proficiency with an auto pistol. When the 5-shot Rossi Circuit Judge .410 revolver shotgun finally hits the market (October 2010) I'm going to put one in the "retreat room" so they have something more powerful than .22 LR, but with the simplicity of a revolver.

    Good luck!
     
  24. Shadow 7D

    Shadow 7D Member

    Joined:
    Nov 30, 2008
    Messages:
    7,005
    Location:
    Frozen North
    Pay the money for her to get a professional class, talk to her and show her options, but let her make the decision, as for the gun, don't buy one for her, take her to the gun store, or range that rents gun, and let her decide what gun she want's then buy it for her.

    Finally, think about a shotty, if you really feel the need for home defense, shotgun is king.
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice