Is it rude to ask someone if they are carrying?

[orionengnr]

someone (maybe more than one someone) needs to understand the concept of boundaries

In order:

It's not rude because the other person doesn't have to answer.
And:
I really don't think it's rude to ask anything.

Anything? Really? I take it that your life experience is somewhat limited.
--If someone were to ask you, in public, when you stopped beating your wife...would that be rude?
--If someone asked you, why is your sister dating an "n-word", would that be rude?
Of course, you don't need to answer either, but either would be considered provocative...as would any number of other similar questions.

Actually, I think asking me if I am carrying is more personal than asking if I am wearing boxers or briefs.

That is exactly the thing that entered my mind while reading this thread. Utterly inappropriate.

It IS rude to persist in asking after you've asked once and have been deflected or otherwise been given notice that a straight answer will not be forthcoming.

Anyone with a degree of decorum understands this theory. Unfortunately, given our Country's state of decline, many will not grasp this concept.

I had to deal with this while on a golf course last weekend. I was playing with a couple of friends and one guy's adult son. The son had a notion to ask me, knowing that I'm a firearms enthusiast. I evaded the question by turning the conversation back to golf. He persisted. One of those guys who doesn't know when to quit. After I stopped and stared at him for a few seconds, his father finally chimed in with a "Quit already" comment.

His dad "got it"...barely. That kid's invitation to play with the adults is hereby revoked. If his dad had not dealt with it, ditto for dad's invitation.

He could word the question, "So when you carry, what position do you holster?" Not flat out ask someone if they are carrying.

Now we're getting somewhere. My initial thought was something along the lines of "It's okay, if you are carrying and don't wish to expose that...no problem." Tact and good will goes a long way in salesmanship.

I haven't been to a gun show yet that didn't have a rule against carrying.

Ermmm...YMMV. I take my carry gun with me, unload it, and present it at the door. They inspect and zip-tie it. I return it to its (concealed) spot until I leave. Then i ask them to cut the zip-tie, I walk out to my vehicle, re-load and I'm on my way. We're all happy--I did not carry loaded in their gun show, and i did not leave my gun in my vehicle for someone to steal.

 

[230RN]

^ That's the only way I'll do it.

Is it rude to ask someone if they are carrying?

Some folks ain't got no couth.

 

[MyGreenGuns]

Wow. Some of you need to relax.

You are at a GUN show, so people might talk to you about GUNS.
You are looking at holsters, so one might assume you carry.

You gave an excuse for not looking at his wares. He tried to keep you talking. You freaked out.
I've been in sales, if you stop trying when someone says, "No thanks", you will never get paid.

Some of you used the underwear analogy. If I'm selling underwear and you stop at my booth, I might ask you about your underwear.

Its not rude, it's business. If you can't handle conversation, shop online.

As for getting violent to harmless questions. This is the reason people see gun owners as antisocial and dangerous.

 

[AStone]

I look forward to 'relax'.

Heading SE soon ..

 

[Plan2Live]

I step out of a pickup with a "Protected by Smith & Wesson" bumper sticker on one side of the rear window and a "Moan Labbe" sticker on the other side. I've got my empty 30.06 shell casing bottle opener on my keychain. I'm wearing my NRA ball cap and a Shoot Me First cover vest and 511 tactical pants even though it's 100 degrees outside. My belt is a stiff canvas "Instructors" belt. When I open my wallet with an NRA logo on it my concealed carry permit is clearly visible right beside my drivers license so I can readily comply with state law and produce my permit if asked for ID by law enforcement. But by golly don't ask me if I'm carrying.

 

[Coyote3855]

I would not ask and, depending on the circumstances, would not want to be asked. I think the question is not necessarily rude, just inappropriate. The only time I recalled being asked was when I ran into a policeman friend at the mall. This was pre CCL days. He said, "Are you carrying?" I replied that I was not. His response: "What if I need backup."

If I were asked by someone I didn't know to be a fellow license holder and shooter, I would probably deflect by asking "Why would you ask such a question?"

 

[Warp]

Wow. Some of you need to relax.

You are at a GUN show, so people might talk to you about GUNS.
You are looking at holsters, so one might assume you carry.

You gave an excuse for not looking at his wares. He tried to keep you talking. You freaked out.
I've been in sales, if you stop trying when someone says, "No thanks", you will never get paid.

Some of you used the underwear analogy. If I'm selling underwear and you stop at my booth, I might ask you about your underwear.

Its not rude, it's business. If you can't handle conversation, shop online.

As for getting violent to harmless questions. This is the reason people see gun owners as antisocial and dangerous.

I agree.

C'mon now. It's a gun show where a gun guy is asking another gun guy about a holster for carrying a gun.

 

[Ryanxia]

If the law says you can't do it, yes, you are actually breaking the law.

That's why you are talking about being so careful to conceal it...because you are breaking the law and you know it, and you will be punished if you are caught.

Not really high road stuff if you ask me.

Obviously you missed the smiley face.

Glad in my State it's perfectly legal. Many gun shows have a policy that you shouldn't have loaded concealed firearms, but that does not carry the weight of law. Normally I would avoid an establishment out of principal that has this rule but gun shows are the one exception since you really can't claim they're anti-gun.

 

[Warp]

Obviously you missed the smiley face.

Glad in my State it's perfectly legal. Many gun shows have a policy that you shouldn't have loaded concealed firearms, but that does not carry the weight of law. Normally I would avoid an establishment out of principal that has this rule but gun shows are the one exception since you really can't claim they're anti-gun.

I saw the smiley face, but some people really do break the law and say they "aren't" because, in their own personal opinion, the law is not Constitutional.

That's different from pointing out that it isn't even against the law, just against a business' policy.

If you aren't breaking the law because it isn't against the law, well, how could it be an unconstitutional law when there is no law? lol

 

[jcwit]

Indiana and the boarding state of Michigan 6 miles from my front door, concealed OK, open carry OK. I'm old & fat, usually one can tell without asking, and if they ask I tell, I'm not offended.

To many folks getting offended by to many things anyway.

 

[TwinReverb]

That specific situation doesn't sound rude to me. And it was appropriate because it was at a holster sale area, where such implements are sold. Sort of like someone asking what you carry while you're standing in a gun store.

However, to me, when that question is asked outside of gun selling areas, that's not rude, at least to me. I'm having a hard time coming up with a concise one-word way to say it, but it's like they're blowing your cover. First, it might be a prelude to an attack. Second, however, even if not, they're blowing my cover, so I'd be at least a bit upset that they asked.

 

[IWAC]

To me, it is kind of a personal question, kinda like:" And how is your sex life?" IMNHO, rude, and nobody's business anyhow.

 

[Warp]

To me, it is kind of a personal question, kinda like:" And how is your sex life?" IMNHO, rude, and nobody's business anyhow.

If you were at an adult themed store looking for marital aids and talking with an employee...that would not be an unreasonable question, would it?

 

[M-Cameron]

If you were at an adult themed store looking for marital aids and talking with an employee...that would not be an unreasonable question, would it?

see, now if i were in his private shop, and there were only a couple other customer poking around, it wouldnt really have bothered me....

but i was in a public place where anyone could have overheard, at an event where people usually carry a large amount of cash...my answer is somewhat related to my potential well being......it wouldnt take much to convince an opportune thug who overheared to decide to jump me in the parking lot....

being at a gun show, sure, people may be like minded.....but theres no saying everyone there is a " good guy"......


asking if someone is carrying just seems to me to be one of those questions i thought everyone seemed to have a "gentelmans agreement" not talk about....

 

[tuj]

yes, IMHO, unless they are coming into your home or property. Then you have every *reason* to ask.

 

[mrdeltoid]

Its not a question one should generally ask people you do not know well.

I'm a cop and have a second job as well. My coworkers at that other job don't ask me if I'm carrying. To me its like asking someone if they're wearing underwear today. Maybe they are, maybe they aren't. Either way its not polite to ask and its ultimately none of my business.

 

[Vern Humphrey]

Is it rude to ask a woman you don't know if she's wearing falsies?

 

[Warp]

see, now if i were in his private shop, and there were only a couple other customer poking around, it wouldnt really have bothered me....

but i was in a public place where anyone could have overheard, at an event where people usually carry a large amount of cash...my answer is somewhat related to my potential well being......it wouldnt take much to convince an opportune thug who overheared to decide to jump me in the parking lot....

being at a gun show, sure, people may be like minded.....but theres no saying everyone there is a " good guy"......


asking if someone is carrying just seems to me to be one of those questions i thought everyone seemed to have a "gentelmans agreement" not talk about....

If you don't want people to think you carry, don't shop for holsters in a public location.

If you don't want people to think you are not carrying, open carry.

Also, if you don't want people to think you are not carrying, don't go anywhere with a rule or policy against carrying.

 

[Tom Fury]

It is, now...

03/10/2015

 

[Vern Humphrey]

In many states, if not all states, all weapons must be secured, and concealed carry is not allowed. This may be the reason for the question. If you were breaking the rules, he may not have wanted you at his booth

In all states there is provision for issuing concealed carry licenses.