Conceal carry etiquette in someone's home

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I have the right to be armed. Others have the right to not be armed and to not have a firearm in their home. They're still my friends. I live in an urban, liberal community. I have many urban, liberal friends.

That being said, instead of puffing out my chest and unfriending them, I've taken quite a few shooting and helped several with their first gun purchases.
 
I'd have to say I'd respect the wishes of folks when I'm in their home. That said, it has never happened to me...I carry as often as possible and it's always concealed well. But I did not tell anyone outside of very close friends that I got my CCL and don't make a big deal of it.

It's never come up and I doubt it ever will. I have a very small circle of friends and rarely visit nor do we have a lot of visitors. I'd have to say that on the outside chance one of my friends would tell me they'd rather me not carry in their home and discuss it with them and how strongly I feel about going armed as much as possible but I'd never "defy" them or carry in their home anyway hoping they did not know.

I would tell them during our discussion that I would never go against their wishes/rules in their home and that in the future I may not be around much if at all in order to comply with their wishes.

VooDoo
 
I am of the VERY FIRM opinion that my RIGHT to carry is one that was given me by powers that a homeowner or Govt cannot remove.
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Since the gov't (made up of men) were the ones who wrote that language, your opinion is flawed

Very simple, their house, their rules. If you cannot go for a little while without having armed protection from your friends, then don't go. To do so willing against their wishes in their home is being very disrespectful and dishonest towards them

If they came to your house doing something against your wishes surreptitiously, I believe you would be angry at that behavior
 
Since the gov't (made up of men) were the ones who wrote that language, your opinion is flawed
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I don't think he was referring to his right being given by anyone who wrote that language. Many feel that the right to be armed is inherent, and/or granted to a free man by a higher power. Those "who wrote that language" simply codified/recognized that fact.

But I don't mean to speak for him, so he certainly can correct me if I'm wrong.

If they came to your house doing something against your wishes surreptitiously, I believe you would be angry at that behavior
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If I didn't know about it, I'd have a hard time getting angry.

I can't argue from experience here, though, as I never have asked anyone whom I was visiting what their opinion was on guns, and have never been told.

If someone brought the matter up on their own, I probably would simply not extend any further interaction with them. I'm not clingy. We can part company. All's well that ends.

Or perhaps I might continue, accepting the consequences of them finding out I was disobeying their wishes. I don't think I'd feel troubled about either outcome.
 
Most of my friends and family know that I carry anywhere that I legally can. Even though some of them aren't exactly "pro-gun", I have never been asked to not carry in their homes.

As to whether I explicitly tell anyone I am visiting that I am carrying. I don't because there is no need to. When I arrive the gun is concealed, while I am there it is concealed, and when I leave it is concealed. Unless there is an emergency I don't pull out my phone when I am visiting with others, and unless there is an emergency I don't pull out my gun when I am visiting with others. Hopefully my hosts will understand if the situation warrants that I have to use either.

When I visit family or plan to stay somewhere overnight I always take my Microvault. If I go swimming with family, then I want my gun to be locked up. Similarly, at night I lock it up just to be on the safe side.
 
The title of the thread is about etiquette, not what the law is. There is a big difference. Similar to fluctuating loudly in front of folks at the dinner table. While legal, do most of us do it regularly when we are at someone else's home? What ever happened to respect?

If I am at the home of someone that is firmly anti-gun, I do not carry, as outta respect I refrain. It is their home. If I don't wish to be unarmed...I don't go there. Pretty simple. If I go to someone else's home where I don't know their feelings on CWC, I tell them I'm carrying and respect their wishes from there. If I had enough respect for them to go to their home in the first place, I feel I should respect their wishes when I get there. If I feel there is that big of threat in that home in the first place, that I cannot stay there without being armed....I leave. Again, pretty simple. The homes I continue to go back to, allow me to carry without a problem. Not that big of deal.
 
buck460XVR said:
The title of the thread is about etiquette, not what the law is. There is a big difference. Similar to fluctuating loudly in front of folks at the dinner table. While legal, do most of us do it regularly when we are at someone else's home? What ever happened to respect?
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Fluctuating loudly? Is this a sign of bi-polar disorder? Did you man flatuating loudly?

How does a private matter that is kept private show disrespect to a host? It seems a host would be more disrespectful to his guests by seeking to impose his political preferences and hoplophobia on his guests or by taking offense at guests who privately and discretely exercise their legal rights.

A fact that violates no laws, presents no risk, causes no harm, and remains unknown to a host shows no disrespect.

What next? Should we stop administering the ADD meds to our children when visiting homes of people who oppose ADD meds? It might change their minds. Shall we leave our cell phones in the car when visiting Amish friends? Wait a minute, can we even drive a car to visit Amish friends?
 
Etiquette and respect are funny things. Like "taste" or "manners" -- it's all in the eye of the beholder. In my eyes, disrespect is a matter of what is done overtly. What has a direct effect on someone. It is a public challenge to their authority and denial of their wishes.

So, open carrying might be disrespectful if you have been asked not to.

On the other hand, I CANNOT disrespect someone by what's in my pocket or hidden under my coat. As there is no communication of that act, there is no disrespect.

It simply does not have any effect on them. Might as well say that what I am thinking is disrespecting them or shows poor etiquette.


And for asking someone ahead of time? Really? How does that conversation even happen? Like, "Uh, excuse me, but I've got this gun here... can I carry it into your house?" :scrutiny: That just seems like the most awkward and absurd conversation ever.

Akin to, "I just want you folks to know before I come in here that I am wearing sequined underwear. Now I don't think my sparkle drawers will be making an appearance during our visit, but out of respect for you ... I just thought you needed to know!"

Of course, that might be a great way to avoid having to ever come back to some anti-gun "friend's" house. So that's a good thing... :D
 
@ sam 1911

"Quote:
Since the gov't (made up of men) were the ones who wrote that language, your opinion is flawed

I don't think he was referring to his right being given by anyone who wrote that language. Many feel that the right to be armed is inherent, and/or granted to a free man by a higher power. Those "who wrote that language" simply codified/recognized that fact.

But I don't mean to speak for him, so he certainly can correct me if I'm wrong.


Quote:
If they came to your house doing something against your wishes surreptitiously, I believe you would be angry at that behavior

If I didn't know about it, I'd have a hard time getting angry.

I can't argue from experience here, though, as I never have asked anyone whom I was visiting what their opinion was on guns, and have never been told.

If someone brought the matter up on their own, I probably would simply not extend any further interaction with them. I'm not clingy. We can part company. All's well that ends.

Or perhaps I might continue, accepting the consequences of them finding out I was disobeying their wishes. I don't think I'd feel troubled about either outcome.
__________________
-- Sam
"

Your point was EXACTLY my point too.

I do not feel the need to be armed around friends [ anyones home I would go to ] BUT if you recall a 'minor' home invasion back a few decades ago ,as I do VIVIDLY.

It was the home of Sharon tate,and one of those in the home actually had access to a gun that was never brought into play ---- too bad,as the life and times of Charles Manson might have been a better ending story.

I don't actually "expect" to be in such a home,BUT there were times I was in fairly well to do homes and at weddings of those with a decent amount of wealth.

Most of them know me well enough to know I was armed,and I am VERY careful to handle myself with total regard to being armed [ NO DRINKING of alcoholic beverages ].

And at a couple of weddings I was asked to "walk the purse out" ,and I am pretty sure it was not my size = but my being armed that was the reason.

SO ,I hope you see my point.

If not agree with me,just wanted to make myself clear = the RIGHT to defend myself has nothing to do with fear of those I visit.
 
When I received my CHL license 6+ years ago, at that time I informed my family that I was licensed and would be carrying on a regular basis. I got no feedback from them and I've never mentioned since. A few friends also know and have never made mention of it either. And I've made it a point to never bring it up myself.

My wife has gradually come to the realization that she likes having me armed, which wasn't the case originally.

The less is known about your concealed carry, the better off you are as the carrier. My carrying in someone else's home is not a matter of concern for them. I'm not an irresponsible youngster with a drinking problem. I'm an old guy with a well concealed 642.
 
Berger.Fan222 said:
Fluctuating loudly? Is this a sign of bi-polar disorder? Did you man flatuating loudly?

How does a private matter that is kept private show disrespect to a host? It seems a host would be more disrespectful to his guests by seeking to impose his political preferences and hoplophobia on his guests or by taking offense at guests who privately and discretely exercise their legal rights.

A fact that violates no laws, presents no risk, causes no harm, and remains unknown to a host shows no disrespect.

What next? Should we stop administering the ADD meds to our children when visiting homes of people who oppose ADD meds? It might change their minds. Shall we leave our cell phones in the car when visiting Amish friends? Wait a minute, can we even drive a car to visit Amish friends?
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Yes, flatuating....Auto correct bit me in the backside on that one!:D


So you're saying that you can mess around with the host's wife, because it is not against the law, a private matter, presents no risk and remains unknown.... thus it displays no disrespect? Hmm.:evil:



As I said, it's about respect. Don't want to give it, don't, it's up to you. Again, legally in some states you don't have to.


Apparently you have no Amish friends. They will use your cell phone and will gladly ride in your car to town. They just can't own one themselves.
 
I nearly always carry discreetly, it's a safe bet that if I have pants on, I have a gun handy.

Never ran into the situation of being asked to disarm at someone's home. If asked I would do so graciously, lock it in the car, and not carry there again. Respect for the host and all......

However the smart*** part of me would have a real hard time resisting handing them (unloaded) a handgun the next time they came to my house and politely informing them that I prefer everyone to be armed in my home. I wonder what the reaction would be......

I'd probably find a way to resist that urge. The consequences my wife would rain down upon me wouldn't be worth it. Man, your wife can punish you in ways that the police can't even in China.....
 
buck460XVR said:
So you're saying that you can mess around with the host's wife, because it is not against the law, a private matter, presents no risk and remains unknown.... thus it displays no disrespect? Hmm.:evil:
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Adultery carries many, many risks that I prefer to avoid. And although it is not against any criminal law in Texas, it is a civil violation and can bring civil penalties. Adultery is a crime in 23 states and a felony in two. It is also a criminal act under the UCMJ.

A lot of politicians, preachers, and perverts have fancied that their adultery would remain unknown and been proven wrong.

Let us know how your theory that messing with a man's wife displays no disrespect works out for you.

My top three self defense rules focus on avoidance: Don't hang out with stupid people, don't do stupid things, and don't go to stupid places. Messing with a man's wife in his own house violates basic common sense and invites a bullet to the brain or a knife to the privates.
 
Fred in Wisc,

I like your way of thinking. When I have guests in my home it is my responsibility to provide a safe environment for example a child proof gate at the staircase to prevent a toddler from falling and injuring themselves. So it would only make sense to provide my unarmed guests with firearms.

Also let's not overlook arming for the occasion. At a gathering where there will be a lot of hugging switching to a smaller gun for pocket carry would be more discreet .
 
To me, a firearm is an item of dress just like my wallet, my keys or my phone. I don't leave my home with out it.

I think I’ve mentioned this before but most of my friends are church friends not gun friends they know I own guns and the guys on the security team know I carry but most of my friends don’t have permits so them coming to my home armed has never been an issue. Having said that, if I know you well enough to open my home to you I know you well enough that your carrying in my home isn’t a concern.

As for me carrying in your home, I try not to make an issue where there isn’t one to begin with.

My in-laws are pretty clueless about concealed carry. I don’t put the issue in their face but I do carry in their home and my concealment is such that they either have never noticed or never commented.

Early on my wife asked me not to carry there to “keep the peace” but when I pointed out that her daughter’s meth head husband had a Glock shoved down the crack of his ass the last time he was there that went by the wayside.
 
Sam1911 said:
And for asking someone ahead of time? Really? How does that conversation even happen? Like, "Uh, excuse me, but I've got this gun here... can I carry it into your house?" :scrutiny: That just seems like the most awkward and absurd conversation ever.
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And yet 4 states (to remain legal), tell you that you have to have that conversation, awkward or not.

I've never been able to understand the purpose of making it an actual law. Thankfully, 46 other states remain silent :D on the issue.
 
I've been in a couple of houses where they would not approve of me carrying, but I carried anyway. If they found out somehow and I wasn't invited back it'd be no big deal. But my friends, heck they'd expect me to be carrying!

My carrying in someone else's home is not a matter of concern for them.
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Exactly!
 
I carry. Period. All my friends and family know. If you want me there, my gun comes too. No exceptions. I have used it once to save my life and I go NOwhere I can't take it with me. I don't feel that being without is an option.
 
The truth is I don't think about it. I'm just always armed. I don't think about being armed its my normal state. So I don't think about it when I go in someone's home. Probably don't think about it the whole time I'm there.

I don't think there is a hard rule on what to do if asked to remove the firearm other than the gun leaves their home. Their home, their rules. But if I leave or put the gun in the car just depends. Not least among the factors is how I'm asked. If my friends wife takes me aside and asks quietly for me to take the gun to the car because of the small children that is likely what I will do. My friend's wife makes a loud scene saying there will be no guns in her home because they are evil and I'm a wannabe murderer I'm gone and won't be back. Respect tends to get respect back. Hostility tends to be returned as well.
 
Back home we have one (long time, she used to babysit me) family friend who politely requested (she did, through my mother, they are best friends I suppose) some years back that I not carry when we go to her house. So I don't. Only place I go where I can legally carry but do not (other than the rare matter of practicality, like if I'm swimming or something).

Except when I stopped by once to let their dog out while they were gone. Stayed armed. No point to taking it off then I suppose.
 
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