Is my mother insane, or is it me...?

[Okiecruffler]

A while back I suffered a bit of a breakdown. I lost 3 kids in 3 days, 2 of whom were fairly long term patients that I was close to. Had to take some time off work and spend some time on a leather couch to get my head back on straight, or at least as close as it ever was. I never had any thoughts of hurting myself or anyone else, I just couldn't deal with going back to work for a while. But now I'm back to my normal work loving self.
However last week, I lost 2 more. While I'm not happy about it, I understand it's part of the machine and I just have to go on about my business. But my mother caught wind of it and she's been driving the wife crazy with calls asking her to get rid of or hide all the firearms. I finally called her to ask her to stop and told her that if I wanted to off myself I have access to opiates and Vec that would be a much more pleasent way to go. That statement to her proved that I had been thinking about it and now I get at least 3 calls a day. :banghead:
God love her, she's my mother and I know she means well, but I sure wish she'd annoy my brother for awhile.

 

[dev_null]

Hang in there, Okie. My ex was an RN (Cardiac ICU, Cardiac Step-Down, E.R.), but I won't hold it against you.

 

[roo_ster]

Nah, you're not nuts.

When somebody you get emotionally attached to dies, it is understandable that you'll feel down about it. Just take it as evidence you're not a sociopath, keep on working, and celebrate the kids who survive due to your care.

Your mom needs to chill out. I have been on the receiving end of similar obsessive worry. I finally told the worrier that their worry and constant harping was inflicting upon me more distress than the original cause of worry.

 

[torpid]

Just tell her that you have been feeling 100% better, but then suddenly she calls and reminds you of it all over again.


.

 

[dk-corriveau]

Therapeutic benefits of shooting

Okie,

I would also inform your mother about the therapeutic benefits of shooting. My 11 month old son has spent about 5 months in the hospital with a congenital heart defect (HLHS for those who care to know). During this period I found the only place that I could take my mind away from our struggles was at the range where I had to use complete concentration on the task at hand. I always left feeling reinvigorated and ready to take on the world!

Hang in there and thank you for your dedication! I know that the CICU nurses we dealt with made all the difference in the world for us.

 

[Vernal45]

Nip it in the bud right now. Tell her that all is ok. God forbid if she called the cops, good intentions as they are, you would be in for a ride.

 

[CAS700850]

No, you're not crazy, but at the same time, she's just being a mom. Love her for caring, even if it drives you crazy. Not quite the same, but the other week, I was on the phone with my mother when I got paged to do a search warrant. As I've told my mother repeatedly, I do the paperwork with the officers, sit back, and watch as the SWAT guys hit the door, and don't actually go in until everyone is wearing cuffs. Yet, during the two + hours I was doing this warrant, I got 11 voice mails from my mother, checking to make sure I'm okay.

Gotta love moms. No matter how old you get, you're still their babies.

 

[Standing Wolf]

Your mother sounds like a semi-professional, perhaps even a professional worrier. Some range time should help her mellow out.

 

[foghornl]

Okie:

Normal reaction to losing ones very close to you. Neither Mrs. Foggy nor I have any of our parents anymore. Some days, I still get a bit down about that. I can't imagine dealing with that with kids involved...It just isn't natural for the little ones to go at such an early stage.

It is probably just your Mom worried about you...just like every real parent worries about their children. {Although, 'Mom' might be a bit over the line here}

Oh yeah, tell her to go bug "brother" for a while.

A big sweeping tip of the hat to you, for what you do for the little ones...A job I am not able to do.

 

[DelayedReaction]

When I was suffering from depression over the semester, we made the decision to relocate my firearms to my parent's house. The argument (which in retrospect made sense) was that firearms allowed an easy and impulsive release during a depressive episode. Therapy and medication has allowed me to get through it, and now I keep my guns where they belong.

Your family is just concerned about you. Don't worry about it.

 

[BigG]

Once you are able to fend for yourself and leave the house, Mom should not be a factor in your decisions. Oh, you say you never left the house?

 

[bogie]

Send her a copy of Kubler-Ross...

 

[svtruth]

What is Normal

If you were not affected by the deaths, I would worry. Just a question, could your Mom be projecting her own feelings of depression and suicidal ideation?

 

[Greg L]

Just tell her that you have been feeling 100% better, but then suddenly she calls and reminds you of it all over again.

My mom used to do that. I have a bad back, ankle, knees, etc. She used to call me up & tell me that she can't imagine how I make it though the day with the constant pain that I have & how it must be wearing me down, etc .

Uh, thanks mom, you know I was feeling pretty good today until you brought it up....

Okie, it takes a special kind of strength to do what you do every day. I know I couldn't handle it personally. You will get through this as well. The hurt will still be there but you will move on because of them & for the others that need your help.

As for moms...

 

[M99M12]

What a sad thread.

 

[M2 Carbine]

I think your Mom is acting like my Mom would act if she were still alive.

I guess it's somewhat normal to worry about what friends and relatives might do after they have been faced with terrible losses.

When my Wife died suddenly, I know my (shooting) friends were worried about leaving me (I am alone) with my guns. But they also understand that no matter what, I will do what I will do. I think they also know the last thing I would want to do is kill myself with the guns I've been proud of so long.

I guess like your Mother my friends worry but unlike a Mother they can accept that what is going to happen is impossible to control.

Mothers, even when they drive you crazy, you got to love them.



I think torpid's advice is excellent.

"torpid,
Just tell her that you have been feeling 100% better, but then suddenly she calls and reminds you of it all over again."

 

[HI express]

I can relate

Okiecruffler,
I understand to a degree. Sorry for your loss.
I used to work with special ed kids. One of my assignments one time was to test and evaluate terminally ill children. Their attitudes was tremendous and I was ashamed of my pettiness about life when I started the job but eventually learned to look at the big picture of life for all these kids knew that they were to pass on in a fairly short time (a year or less) and yet they were kind and happy even though they were deteriorating daily. Often when I got depressed some of them would try to cheer me up when I should have been boosting up their situations.
I eventually had to quit that job...I was getting uber depressed as I lost more and more students that I had grown to see them as "my kids." I knew when I got angry with the parents of these little folks for the way the parents acted...but it was their kids.
So hang in there Okiecruffler, the kids need people like you. Hang tough.

 

[bearmgc]

Sounds like a mom doing the mom thing. God bless you for the work you do, and your heartfelt efforts. Grief that comes with the territory, the loving and losing, no less painful or affective on your life. Just a thought, maybe to reassure mom by telling her you will call her when you have a moment daily or every other day, for awhile just to touch base with her.

 

[Preacherman]

Buy her a subscription to Soldier Of Fortune magazine, and tell her that if she goes on nagging, you're going to enlist as a mercenary!

 

[M99M12]

LOFL. Snots on the keyboard.

 

[bosshoff]

Thanks

Okiecruffler, thanks for what you do. I know this is a little bit corny coming over the web, but you have no idea what a profound effect you have on peoples well being. I recently had to check in my 5 week old son to Childrens Memorial Hospital in Chicago for three days. It was a precaution, and everything turned out fine (no menegitis, thank God.) The excellent nurses and Doctors there made a world of difference, during a very difficult time for my wife and I. I know I could not do that kind of work, so my hat is off to you.

 

[xdoctor]

I had a similar situation with my mother. She was conviced that I, like my brother, was going to pull my own trigger. She went as far as to actually come to my home, two states away and attempt to remove my firearms from my home while I was at work. God love my wife, she didn't let her. Mom doesn't visit us much anymore...

 

[Okiecruffler]

The SOF idea might just work. A while back I just mentioned what they were offering nurses to travel to Iraq. She almost had a stroke. Just got off the phone with her and I promised I would ask for easier assignments at work. I lied, but it seemed to make her happier. Kinda like that time I told her I sold my motorcycle.

 

[MountainPeak]

Make up something outrageous about your brother. It always works for me! Seriously, moms worry, it's part of their job. Hope things work out for you.

 

[Okiecruffler]

I shouldn't have to make anything up, he's a tattoo artist who raises poisonous snakes for kicks. You'd think that would keep her busy for a few decades.