After shooting my .357 Mag and .45ACP commander sized pistols, My XD-9 feels like a Ruger Bearcat. The sights are back on target so relatively quickly that I don't even notice that it is appreciably recoiling. That may be a quirk of the polymer frame, but I do notice that it shifts a little more upward as the mag empties and unbalances the weight of the piece, which is a fairly strange phenomenon to me, but not alarming in any way.
Recoil in the duty rounds is pretty subjective when you get to fire the odd .454 or larger wheelgun. I really want that new Ruger .45 Colt/.454 snubbie Super Redhawk because I seem to be relatively recoil insensitive.