cuchulainn
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The Evil SUV Drivers Demonstrate Selfishness
WASHINGTON FEBRUARY 17 -- Americans were shocked this weekend at the horror as selfish SUV drivers -- many with gleefully evil giggling -- demonstrated their commitment to terrorist states by helping sick people get to hospitals, or nurses and doctors get to their jobs as a major winter storm dumped more than two feet of snow on much of the Mid-Atlantic region.
"This is all about me," said Bert Octocylinder as he shoveled clear the front door of Mamie Jones, 40, who needed to make the five mile trip to her dialysis treatment. Octocylinder and Jones had just met 10 minutes before, after the volunteer pool he belongs to called him to take her. After another 15 minutes of digging, Octocylinder had cleared a path so Jones could walk to his evil, gas guzzling, Osama-supporting Ford Explorer. "I really don't care about anyone else," Octocylinder yelled as he drove off.
Or take the case of Billy Lockedin, who -- without a concern for how much the gas he was burning would fund Saddam's purchase of weapons of mass destruction -- had hooked a snow blade to the front of his Toyota Four Runner and was plowing the driveways of the elderly.
When asked about such events, anti-SUV activist Ariana Huffington said, "See, we were right; these SUV drivers don't care about America," as she stepped into her luxury helicopter to fly across town to an art auction.
WASHINGTON FEBRUARY 17 -- Americans were shocked this weekend at the horror as selfish SUV drivers -- many with gleefully evil giggling -- demonstrated their commitment to terrorist states by helping sick people get to hospitals, or nurses and doctors get to their jobs as a major winter storm dumped more than two feet of snow on much of the Mid-Atlantic region.
"This is all about me," said Bert Octocylinder as he shoveled clear the front door of Mamie Jones, 40, who needed to make the five mile trip to her dialysis treatment. Octocylinder and Jones had just met 10 minutes before, after the volunteer pool he belongs to called him to take her. After another 15 minutes of digging, Octocylinder had cleared a path so Jones could walk to his evil, gas guzzling, Osama-supporting Ford Explorer. "I really don't care about anyone else," Octocylinder yelled as he drove off.
Or take the case of Billy Lockedin, who -- without a concern for how much the gas he was burning would fund Saddam's purchase of weapons of mass destruction -- had hooked a snow blade to the front of his Toyota Four Runner and was plowing the driveways of the elderly.
When asked about such events, anti-SUV activist Ariana Huffington said, "See, we were right; these SUV drivers don't care about America," as she stepped into her luxury helicopter to fly across town to an art auction.
