Sistema1927
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You did fine. Your brother is an idiot. I assume that he is adopted, since I don't want to cast any aspersions on your parents.
This gets so old so fast, but I may have over-reacted.
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Wow. First off, you did fine. I disagree with Creature's approach, although if it works for him, that's super. I was the mother of four children ALL of whom were tantrum-ites, and DURING the tantrum, the communication is all one-way...going from the tantrum TO everyone else. It's not until he calmed down that you could talk to him at all. Creature thinks the conversation should have happened at the side of the road. I'm with those who think that letting him out and letting him walk a couple of miles to cool off was a very good idea, particularly as it was his choice.
I have no brothers and sisters, but my husband has four. One brother is a shooter. The other three are various states of hysterical antis. Thing is, we all get along just fine, because nobody is committed to changing anybody else's opinion on this. We who are gunnies don't talk about it around the hysterically anti sister in law. This means that all of us, on both sides of the fence, have long ago realized that there are some issues to just shut up about around some people. We don't talk religion either. And we all get along.
Your brother needs to grow up and take responsibility for his behavior. He can have his feelings, but unlike what we were all taught in the last 30 years, HAVING a feeling and EXPRESSING the feeling are two different things; and frequently the second is a mistake.
For your part, don't stir the ant pile, don't take him by the gun store again, don't bring it up, and if he brings it up, respond with something like "So! How about those Dodgers!" Make it clear you're not interested in playing when he wants to engage on this. Be friendly, don't try to enlist other family members on your side. And don't budge one single solitary inch on your gun ownership either.
Good luck. This is a tough row to hoe.
Springmom
I have no brothers and sisters, but my husband has four. One brother is a shooter. The other three are various states of hysterical antis. Thing is, we all get along just fine, because nobody is committed to changing anybody else's opinion on this. We who are gunnies don't talk about it around the hysterically anti sister in law. This means that all of us, on both sides of the fence, have long ago realized that there are some issues to just shut up about around some people. We don't talk religion either. And we all get along.
Your brother needs to grow up and take responsibility for his behavior. He can have his feelings, but unlike what we were all taught in the last 30 years, HAVING a feeling and EXPRESSING the feeling are two different things; and frequently the second is a mistake.
For your part, don't stir the ant pile, don't take him by the gun store again, don't bring it up, and if he brings it up, respond with something like "So! How about those Dodgers!" Make it clear you're not interested in playing when he wants to engage on this. Be friendly, don't try to enlist other family members on your side. And don't budge one single solitary inch on your gun ownership either.
Good luck. This is a tough row to hoe.
Springmom
You did the right thing Econ, you set a boundary, and your brother crossed it. And as a consequence for choosing to do so, he got to familiarize his shoes with the fine local asphalt. There is no obligation to tolerate the intolerable.
There is no obligation to cut family any slack you won't cut anyone else. You can't pick who you're related to by blood, but you can pick who you associate yourself with and whose company you truly enjoy. Personally, I have friends that I frankly value far more than most of the people I'm related to by blood.
As to your brother specificly, at some point, someone's going to have to have The Talk with him where it's pointed out that other people are not put on this earth for him to have someone to verbally abuse. He can choose for himself, but he has no right to choose for others. And frankly, your parents are to blame for him being a self centered little brat. In not only allowing, but encouraging such behavior, they've done him a great disservice. The kid needs to act his age, not his shoe size.
There is no obligation to cut family any slack you won't cut anyone else. You can't pick who you're related to by blood, but you can pick who you associate yourself with and whose company you truly enjoy. Personally, I have friends that I frankly value far more than most of the people I'm related to by blood.
As to your brother specificly, at some point, someone's going to have to have The Talk with him where it's pointed out that other people are not put on this earth for him to have someone to verbally abuse. He can choose for himself, but he has no right to choose for others. And frankly, your parents are to blame for him being a self centered little brat. In not only allowing, but encouraging such behavior, they've done him a great disservice. The kid needs to act his age, not his shoe size.
orionengnr
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And when he realizes it's a GUN range with lots and lots of GUNS, and has another hissy fit, he gets to walk home again!
And make sure said range is at least ten miles from home.
TonyStarks
Member
I dont get it!? If he knew the gun from the popular "Counter Strike" game, that means he has played the game...Why is it ok to play a game with all kinds of 'assault weapons' but its not ok to actually own or buy one?
He is your brother and all but you should talk to him about it? Find out why he is so upset...
You handled it as best as you could, good luck!
He is your brother and all but you should talk to him about it? Find out why he is so upset...
You handled it as best as you could, good luck!
KelVarnson
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I think the reason that the brother is anti-gun is because he believes that his emotional response to problems and/or disagreements is the normal course of action (i.e. everyone thinks the way he does).
So, believing this, and knowing himself and how he is, he sees extreme danger in "everyone" having guns.
Considering this, maybe it is not a good idea to try to persuade him to get into shooting. Maybe he's one of those folks that should never own a gun.
So, believing this, and knowing himself and how he is, he sees extreme danger in "everyone" having guns.
Considering this, maybe it is not a good idea to try to persuade him to get into shooting. Maybe he's one of those folks that should never own a gun.
CountGlockula
Member
That's pretty much how some uninformed folks view guns, through video games and Hollywood movies.
pogostick
Member
Well played sir, well played.
Well, I have 3 brothers; 2 older and 1 younger. Lucky for me none of us would ever have so little respect to behave in that way to one another. (Mom would show up and drop an elbow from the top rope once she heard about it.)
If I found my self in a similar situation maybe another relative visiting or something, I would not hesitate to act in much the same way as you did.
I really hope you don't blame yourself for this situation and hopefully you and your brother can at some point talk about this without anybody having a fit or getting the opportunity to think their actions over while walking a few miles.
But hey, your TheEconomist so maybe you can sleep a little better knowing that your brother walking saved you just a little bit on gas...
{no disrespect intended}
Well, I have 3 brothers; 2 older and 1 younger. Lucky for me none of us would ever have so little respect to behave in that way to one another. (Mom would show up and drop an elbow from the top rope once she heard about it.)
If I found my self in a similar situation maybe another relative visiting or something, I would not hesitate to act in much the same way as you did.
I really hope you don't blame yourself for this situation and hopefully you and your brother can at some point talk about this without anybody having a fit or getting the opportunity to think their actions over while walking a few miles.
But hey, your TheEconomist so maybe you can sleep a little better knowing that your brother walking saved you just a little bit on gas...
{no disrespect intended}
nvshooter
member
Nice putt!
Dorryn
Member
I would surmise that his anger is in part due to his (apparent) surprise. It seems like from what you wrote that he is anti-gun and that he expected you to be anti-gun likewise. When you shattered this complacent notion, you, being a close relative yet being diametrically opposed on the issue of guns, "made" him angry. He probably expected you to hold similar views, and you dont. (Good for you!)
This is the same reaction homosexuals often claim they receive when coming out. Its foolish to become angry at the choices others make and the opinions they hold.
This is the same reaction homosexuals often claim they receive when coming out. Its foolish to become angry at the choices others make and the opinions they hold.
ec-10
Member
The Economist, your brother is suffering from a case of Hoplophobia. I hope he gets better real soon.
Hoplophobia, (pronounced [ˌhɔpləˈfoʊbiə]), from the Greek hoplon, or weapon, is a word coined in 1962 by firearms instructor Colonel Jeff Cooper meaning an irrational and morbid fear of guns. Cooper employed the clinical-sounding term as an alternative to other slang terms, stating: "We read of 'gun grabbers' and 'anti-gun nuts' but these slang terms do not (explain this behavior)." Cooper attributed this behavior to the irrational fear of firearms and other forms of weaponry. He stated that "the most common manifestation of hoplophobia is the idea that instruments possess a will of their own, apart from that of their user."
Hoplophobia, (pronounced [ˌhɔpləˈfoʊbiə]), from the Greek hoplon, or weapon, is a word coined in 1962 by firearms instructor Colonel Jeff Cooper meaning an irrational and morbid fear of guns. Cooper employed the clinical-sounding term as an alternative to other slang terms, stating: "We read of 'gun grabbers' and 'anti-gun nuts' but these slang terms do not (explain this behavior)." Cooper attributed this behavior to the irrational fear of firearms and other forms of weaponry. He stated that "the most common manifestation of hoplophobia is the idea that instruments possess a will of their own, apart from that of their user."
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