What is a mall ninja?

[spacemanspiff]

dude, lighten up! stop trying to find insults where there are none.

-wears 5.11 stuff everywhere they go check!
-has Oakley or Wiley-X sunglasses check!
-dresses in black, OD green, desert tan, coyote brown, or a certain type of camouflage you forgot 'urban gray', but check!
-always has at least 1 'tactical' folder on him at all times check!
-always has at least 1 flashlight, a la SureFire, Streamlight, ASP, etc. check!
-probably CCW'd if the state allows it i do ccw! check!

what do i win?

 

[Tom Servo]

And Omaha, I'm actually taken QUITE seriously at my job and am respected by many. I KNOW I'm not a "real cop," and I'm not trying to be. Security and Law Enforcement may have their similarities, but they are two ENTIRELY DIFFERENT fields of work, and I have the self-respect to treat them as such

If you've got the respect of your peers and customers, then chances are you've EARNED it, and therefore deserve it. My hat's off; I know quite a few great folks in security. On the other hand, these Mall Ninja guys seem to think that respect is something attainable through wardrobe choices and "attitude," and that's entirely different.

Somehow, someone who posts "If you want to laugh at somebody, try laughing at the sheep out there who go to the mall unarmed trusting in me to stand guiard over their lives like a God" is a doofus, and chances are, he couldn't get a job running the shake machine at Dairy Queen, much less in a position (I HOPE) where he'd be handling weapons and potentially volatile situations.

 

[Spreadfire Arms]

this is a funny post...don't be offended by it. unless you are a mall ninja...then maybe....you ought to think about how non-gunners see you.

i mean heck, if the pro-gunners think you're weird, you ought to think what the general public thinks of you.

there is one guy in my gun show circuit that wears an ATF baseball cap everywhere he goes (although i think he lives in a trailer), wears a black sleeveless shirt, black BDU's bloused into black combat boots. he wears sunglasses indoors or outdoors, sun, rain, sleet, hail, heck he probably sleeps with them.

he has so many knives clipped to him, i once saw a folder clipped in his fly next to his nutsack. what a STUPID place to put a knife. :banghead:

he told all of us he is waiting to go fight in Iraq, but so far, the contracting firms haven't offered him enough money yet. he's holding out for $130,000.

he is in his late 40's, and had a few years in the service way back when. not a Vietnam vet and no combat experience. but about 20 years of mall ninja experience. he told all of us he was "looking forward to getting shot at."

spacemanspiff i ought to print up a bunch of black t-shirts with "MALL NINJA" in block letters and give you one!

 

[cookiemonster]

Spreadfire,

I would be in the front asking for one of those shirts...not for me, but for a few friends of mine.


Mebbe one for me too so I can wear it to the range every now and then.

Darrell

 

[Spreadfire Arms]

that would be a FUNNY shirt. it would be a hit gag gift. make it look like a "POLICE" style raid shirt but have it say "MALL NINJA."

im going to contact my t-shirt company..this is too funny.

 

[SamlautRanger]

Hey, lets not put down Mall Ninjas, that may be my next future job!

( at least I would get to have a high and tight flat top hair cut again and have little moustache to go with it, and could eat all I want to get the regulation beer gut!! )

 

[logical]

The thread wasn't titled "Security Guards"...it was titled "Mall Ninjas". We know not all security professionals are mall ninjas. If you are in security and don't fit the description (aren't a mall ninja) , why would anyone be offended?

 

[TechBrute]

Snub, lighten up. Go look for your sense of humor. If you fit the profile, then you're a mall ninja. If you don't fit the profile then you aren't one, so stop looking for someone to insult you when no one is trying to be insulting to you.

 

[Spreadfire Arms]

a mall ninja is not necessarily anyone in security, it can be the average joe who walks around very "tacticool." this would make a great gag gift ..... give it to your buddy who's a mall ninja. heck he may even wear it at the mall.

 

[SamlautRanger]

to Spreadfire Arms

Spreadfire Arms, what is sad about your buddy with the ATF hat, is some of the not so professional security companies in Iraq are so short right now that your buddy can probably get a $130,000 + job easily. Of course the better security companies such as Blackwater, triple canopy, MVM, Dyncorp, and SOC-SMG have very selective screening processes ad background checks and also have usually a 2 week selection course.

 

[cowboybobb693]

Steve.
If you get some printed I want one !!! I can wear it with my secret squr'l outfit at drill and REALLY piss my Commander off ( like I have to try) I think they would be a hit.
Bobb

 

[Spreadfire Arms]

hey cowboybobb!

i was just talking about you the other day. someone told me a story about a brick company im sure you know what i mean by that.

im gonna get these shirts made and YOU will get the first one. that is extremely funny...seeing you are the LEAST qualified person to wear one. and i mean that in a good way!

im going to be in San Antonio for the show this weekend....are you anywhere near there?!

for those of you who don't know cowboybobb he is the antonym of mall ninja. it would be hillarious to see him wearing one.

 

[cowboybobb693]

Steve. Thanks for the compliment.I think that I can talk the "BOSS" into letting me come down and play for a few hours. She is going into Austin for some "girl" stuff so I think I'm safe, as long as I don't spend too much money :banghead: :banghead: :banghead:
Are you going to have a booth??

 

[GreenFurniture]

You want to see an actual "Mall Ninja?"

Come on down to CCA, "Gecko 45" is hard at work and will answer any mall ninja related questions you might have.

THE REAL MALL NINJA WEBSITE

 

[mbs357]

-always has at least 1 flashlight, a la SureFire, Streamlight, ASP, etc.

Oooo me!
Maglight on belt holster. XD

 

[Spreadfire Arms]

bobb,

i'll have only 2 tables but that is a HARD show to get into so i'm very happy with what i can get!

im just trying to figure out how to display 20 AR-15's, about 6 used rifles/shotguns, and 20 pistols in 16 feet of table space!

probably wont have any Mall Ninja shirts done up by then but i'll try!

 

[Bear Gulch]

I assumed that it was someone who figured that if they bough the most expensive tacticool hardware, it would then magically imbue them with the skill needed to use it well.

 

[BigSlick]

There is no spoon... gotta recon the food court and find out why

 

[jamz]

OO, this looks like fun...let me answer, with the preface that I'm a middle aged computer guy.

correct me if im wrong but i also thought "mall ninja" extended not only to private security officers/guards, but also civilians who go everywhere with their "tacticool" stuff.

someone who:

-wears 5.11 stuff everywhere they go
Nope, only 1 pair of 5.11 pans, and they're work pants now. (i.e. painting)

-wears tac boots with his outfit
no tac boots.

-has Oakley or Wiley-X sunglasses
No, but I do have some cool looking prescription shades.

-dresses in black, OD green, desert tan, coyote brown, or a certain type of
camouflage
Got lots of colory colors.

-can't wear a regular backpack, even if its just to carry books to school. spends more money on a Oakley, BlackHawk, LBT, or other name brand tactical 3-day pack.
I've got lots of fancy packs from hiking and climbing.

-always has at least 1 'tactical' folder on him at all times
Unsure what a "tactical" folder is, but I always have a folding one handed knife in the pocket.

-always has at least 1 flashlight, a la SureFire, Streamlight, ASP, etc.
Yup, 1 Inova LED in my cell phone holster.

-probably CCW'd if the state allows it
Yup, whenever I can.

-probably carries pepper spray
yup, whenever I can.

-probably carries an impact weapon of some sort
Nope.

-brings something made of ballistic nylon everywhere he goes
My cell phone holster is always with me, that's ballistic nylon (what is "ballistic"?

-probably has a carabiner, even if it just to hold his house and car keys
I have loads and loads of carabiners from climbing

-has a backup weapon of some sort secreted on his person, like on an ankle
Not usually

-has a cellphone or in some cases, a radio, if his fellow mall ninja buddies are nearby, so he can call for backup
Always have a cell phone.

-may have a police scanner in his car
Nope

-defintely a backup flashlight in the vehicle, maybe even a vehicle mounted spotlight a la police car
Backup surefire in my work bag, does that count?

-maybe a push bar a la police car
nope

-definitely aftermarket lighting, strobes in all colors that are legal and resemble a law enforcement vehicle (amber, for example).
nope

-weapons rack, even if no weapon is in the car.
I'd wait till I move to maine to get a gun rack in the car.

-a seat organizer, like the Safariland Pursuit Box, even if there is nothing in there except:
-a map like a Thomas Guide or a Mapsco
-a metal clipboard that opens up for secret storage
-a vehicle code, even though it's never been read
-these items in the vehicle will be left in a very conspicuous place so that passers by will look inside and think it is a cop car
Been meaning to get a seat organizer, but it would only carry maps, work junk, and maybe a GPS.

-and oh yeah..has a Camelback or at least a Nalgene bottle.
One camelback from mountain biking and a few naglene bottles from hiking/climbing.

-maybe some MRE's in the car too.
I always carry spare food in the car. Not MRE's, but I'd put like srvival rations in there. I've been out hungry too many times.

MY GOD!! I'm almost half mall ninja and din't even know it!!


-James

 

[Stinkyshoe]

I really question the relevance and usefulness of this discussion, but do what you will...

 

[TechBrute]

I really question the relevance and usefulness of this discussion, but do what you will...

Wow... and yet you managed to post something even more irrelevant and useless than this thread... congrats...

 

[357wheelgunner]

This needs to be a sticky thread.....

 

[MikeIsaj]

Don't worry JAMZ, I think there's a 12 step program now.

Snubby I always find that it's best not to let anyone on any board see that they're getting to you. That's just asking for trouble. Quoting the forum rules just fuels the fire. It's also good to be able to laugh at yourself. Believe me 15 yrs in corrections, I've done a lot of laughing at myself.

 

[MikeB]

correct me if im wrong but i also thought "mall ninja" extended not only to private security officers/guards, but also civilians who go everywhere with their "tacticool" stuff.

Ok you're wrong. It's generally a term for security officers that are a bit too over the top; and specifically it's a joke related to certain threads on various firearm related forums. Let's go over your list though.

-wears 5.11 stuff everywhere they go

Sorry no, but I do tend to wear pants that have more that two front and two back pockets. After all a pair of jeans or dress pants doesn't really hold keys, firearm, flashlight, wallet, PDA, money, change, pocket knife, cell phone, etc. all that well.

-wears tac boots with his outfit

I'm not sure what tac boots are but I usually wear a pair of hiking boots, but then I only own one or two pair of shoes/boots.

-has Oakley or Wiley-X sunglasses

Nope usually just my prescription glasses sometimes with the snap on shades if I haven't misplaced them. Of course I sometimes wear contacts when mountain biking or rock climbing.

-dresses in black, OD green, desert tan, coyote brown, or a certain type of camouflage

No camouflage in my wardrobe, I do tend to wear earthy tones like green or tan.

-can't wear a regular backpack, even if its just to carry books to school. spends more money on a Oakley, BlackHawk, LBT, or other name brand tactical 3-day pack.

Well regular backpacks(schoolbags) aren't really designed for moutain biking, rock climbing or hiking/backpacking.

-always has at least 1 'tactical' folder on him at all times

Not sure what a tactical folder is, but a one handed folder is pretty practical.

-always has at least 1 flashlight, a la SureFire, Streamlight, ASP, etc.

I just can't count the number of times a flashlight has come in handy whether working on the car, tracing wires in a closet, or finding that lost dart at the tavern.

-probably CCW'd if the state allows it

My state allows it, I consider it a right and a prudent measure, but hey to each their own.

-probably carries pepper spray

Nope don't even own any. Either it's lethal or I should extricate myself PDQ.

-probably carries an impact weapon of some sort

Not unless you count the hiking stick I use while hiking or backpacking, works great as a monopod for the camera too.

-brings something made of ballistic nylon everywhere he goes

Not sure what ballistic nylon is?

-probably has a carabiner, even if it just to hold his house and car keys

Do you have a better tool for rock climbing? I have to admit I use one to hold my climbing shoes together, it's easier than digging around in the back seat of the car for BOTH shoes when I go to the rock gym.

-has a backup weapon of some sort secreted on his person, like on an ankle

Depends on what you consider a backup weapon I suppose?

-has a cellphone or in some cases, a radio, if his fellow mall ninja buddies are nearby, so he can call for backup

I'd pretty much be out of buisness without a cell phone. I do contract network engineering work. Those FRS radios really come in handy when doing wiring throughout a building as well.

-may have a police scanner in his car

Nope, but I suppose my Ham radio can scan some of those bands. I guess I should give up my FCC license.

-defintely a backup flashlight in the vehicle, maybe even a vehicle mounted spotlight a la police car

Who doesn't have at least two flashlights in their car? Seems like a good defense to Murphy's law to me.

-and oh yeah..has a Camelback or at least a Nalgene bottle.

Do you know of a better way to carry water while backpacking, or works as well with a water filter?

-maybe some MRE's in the car too.

No MRE's but I lived in the mountains of Colorado for several years. I think I'll keep a little food in the car thank you very much.

 

[Nippy]

Mall Ninja is a Insult probably something close to "poser". Some people just can't handle... teh tacticool!!!!1111oneoneoneoneone If u know wat I mean