OO, this looks like fun...let me answer, with the preface that I'm a middle aged computer guy.
correct me if im wrong but i also thought "mall ninja" extended not only to private security officers/guards, but also civilians who go everywhere with their "tacticool" stuff.
someone who:
-wears 5.11 stuff everywhere they go
Nope, only 1 pair of 5.11 pans, and they're work pants now. (i.e. painting)
-wears tac boots with his outfit
no tac boots.
-has Oakley or Wiley-X sunglasses
No, but I do have some cool looking prescription shades.
-dresses in black, OD green, desert tan, coyote brown, or a certain type of
camouflage
Got lots of colory colors.
-can't wear a regular backpack, even if its just to carry books to school. spends more money on a Oakley, BlackHawk, LBT, or other name brand tactical 3-day pack.
I've got lots of fancy packs from hiking and climbing.
-always has at least 1 'tactical' folder on him at all times
Unsure what a "tactical" folder is, but I always have a folding one handed knife in the pocket.
-always has at least 1 flashlight, a la SureFire, Streamlight, ASP, etc.
Yup, 1 Inova LED in my cell phone holster.
-probably CCW'd if the state allows it
Yup, whenever I can.
-probably carries pepper spray
yup, whenever I can.
-probably carries an impact weapon of some sort
Nope.
-brings something made of ballistic nylon everywhere he goes
My cell phone holster is always with me, that's ballistic nylon (what is "ballistic"?
-probably has a carabiner, even if it just to hold his house and car keys
I have loads and loads of carabiners from climbing
-has a backup weapon of some sort secreted on his person, like on an ankle
Not usually
-has a cellphone or in some cases, a radio, if his fellow mall ninja buddies are nearby, so he can call for backup
Always have a cell phone.
-may have a police scanner in his car
Nope
-defintely a backup flashlight in the vehicle, maybe even a vehicle mounted spotlight a la police car
Backup surefire in my work bag, does that count?
-maybe a push bar a la police car
nope
-definitely aftermarket lighting, strobes in all colors that are legal and resemble a law enforcement vehicle (amber, for example).
nope
-weapons rack, even if no weapon is in the car.
I'd wait till I move to maine to get a gun rack in the car.
-a seat organizer, like the Safariland Pursuit Box, even if there is nothing in there except:
-a map like a Thomas Guide or a Mapsco
-a metal clipboard that opens up for secret storage
-a vehicle code, even though it's never been read
-these items in the vehicle will be left in a very conspicuous place so that passers by will look inside and think it is a cop car
Been meaning to get a seat organizer, but it would only carry maps, work junk, and maybe a GPS.
-and oh yeah..has a Camelback or at least a Nalgene bottle.
One camelback from mountain biking and a few naglene bottles from hiking/climbing.
-maybe some MRE's in the car too.
I always carry spare food in the car. Not MRE's, but I'd put like srvival rations in there. I've been out hungry too many times.
MY GOD!! I'm almost half mall ninja and din't even know it!!
-James