Being new to handguns, I see an awful lot of talk about CCW... carrying at the grocery store, at home, etc. What made you decide to carry a firearm at all times? Was it something that happened to you or someone you know in the past? Is your part of the world THAT bad, that you have to have a weapon on you in your own home during daylight hours? Please don't misunderstand. I'm not trying to personally attack anyone; just pure curiosity I suppose.
That's a common question, and it's a good one.
In my case, it wasn't anything major. No terrifyingly scary events, no bad man chasing me, no huge amounts of cash to escort to the bank ... I just experienced a steady and growing awareness that I was responsible for my own safety, and that nobody else could do that for me.
I also had a little bit of an ethical awakening where I began to suspect that if I were not willing to draw a gun in defense of my own life, I had no real moral authority to call someone else (a policeman) to do that same action
for me. There's nothing wrong with calling the police -- that's what I intend to do, if there's time and I am able -- but there's something wrong with calling someone else to do that which you are not morally prepared to do yourself, in my thinking. So that started to bug me a little in the back of my mind.
That was the moral issue. On a practical level, I began to realize that the only person I could count on to
always be there if something bad happened to me was ... ME.
So that was kind of going on in my mind, right around the time my husband and I moved out of our city house and into the countryside. Our nearest police station is roughly 30 minutes' drive from my front door. The cops in this county are spread a bit thin, with a distinct possibility that if something happens here, the only police on shift might be at the far end of the county (100+ miles away). So we faced the possibility of a really slow police response if something happened out here.
At the time, my husband was working really long hours, often coming home late at night, and we had a houseful of small children. Because he was gone so much, and because the police response was so likely to be very slow, I decided that I really wanted to have a gun to protect myself and the children in the really unlikely event that we were attacked.
But again, we had small children. I was unable to envision any way to store a shotgun for quick access which
guaranteed my children couldn't get at the gun while I was in the other room. I could think of safe ways to store the gun, sure -- but not ways that I would be able to get in a hurry while the kids couldn't get it at all.
In addition, with multiple children, it seemed possible that in the unlikely event of a home invasion, that I might have to make the horrible decision to
leave a child in the room with the intruder in order to go get my defense gun! Eeek. I did not consider that a good solution at all.
So eventually I purchased a handgun and made the committment to put it on when I got dressed in the morning, and only remove it when I went to bed at night.
And then I found something unexpected: carrying the gun did not make me more paranoid or more fearful or anything like that. Instead, I found that I was simply more aware of ... of everything. Of details around me. Of
people. Of all the fascinating things that people do. Of all the beautiful little things that make life worth living.
And along that with this awareness, I experienced a real sense of freedom -- a freedom to (for instace) be friendly and open in talking to strangers even in uncertain circumstances. I could be open and friendly because I
knew I could protect myself if it came to that. I no longer had to
worry about other people's intentions, even at the same time as I became more alert to clues that would help me figure out what those intentions might be. It was just tremendously freeing. (See
www.corneredcat.com/Social/whyicarry.aspx for a bit more detail about that aspect.)
This lifestyle isn't for everyone. The gun does get in the way sometimes.
But the sense of freedom, and the awareness that goes with it, is well worth the occasional inconvenience to me.
pax
