Wife ok with gun for HD not with me carrying CCW
- Thread starter ejfalvo
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Tacbandit
Member
dom1104...Good stuff! And the 50/50 rule is why the divorce rate is over 50%..
rm23
Member
Ask her how she would feel if she had to go somewhere with a police officer. Would she feel uncomfortable?
Sounds like she has the mindset that only criminals and police wear guns on their person.
Sounds like she has the mindset that only criminals and police wear guns on their person.
CoRoMo
Member
Not a bad idea. Some departments will allow a shift ride-along if you want to look into it. Sobering.
Dom1104,
Yes I was trying to be insulting but I shouldn't have, and please accept my apology.
My point is that in life you're bound to run into times in which you're going to take a lot of heat for doing the right thing. That heat may even come from someone as close to you as your cherished wife, and it doesn't mean that she's not an intelligent person.
My wife and I don't always agree on everything and I don't try and force her to be pro-gun. On the other hand, she understands that I absolutely will not compromise when it comes to our security and well being. We respect each other and each other's opinions. She's even let me teach her how to use firearms and has voluntarily taken a formal training class. It has also gotten to the point where she no longer gives me heat for carrying, although I know she still prefers I didn't.
AND........
Our marriage is not on the rocks because of it.
Now, if I was gambling, cheating, waisting money, using drugs, neglecting her or physically or mentally abusing her, then.............
Yes I was trying to be insulting but I shouldn't have, and please accept my apology.
My point is that in life you're bound to run into times in which you're going to take a lot of heat for doing the right thing. That heat may even come from someone as close to you as your cherished wife, and it doesn't mean that she's not an intelligent person.
My wife and I don't always agree on everything and I don't try and force her to be pro-gun. On the other hand, she understands that I absolutely will not compromise when it comes to our security and well being. We respect each other and each other's opinions. She's even let me teach her how to use firearms and has voluntarily taken a formal training class. It has also gotten to the point where she no longer gives me heat for carrying, although I know she still prefers I didn't.
AND........
Our marriage is not on the rocks because of it.
Now, if I was gambling, cheating, waisting money, using drugs, neglecting her or physically or mentally abusing her, then.............
killchain
Member
Well, here's my $0.02.
My wife married me in the service, so weapons were already at least a talking point.
I didn't talk about it much, I just did it. And they would notice here and there, like when I helped my father in law strip the paint off of his house, or when I crawled under a table to plug something in. Imagine that, my .45 didn't go BANG. It has NEVER gone BANG unless I made it go BANG on purpose.
When they eventually watched me either clean a weapon or unload it for whatever reason and do all the safe things (like indexing the finger on the frame) then it became less of a scary dangerous thing and more of a "Huh, it's just a tool and it will do what I use it for!"
Well, the rest is history. All of the in laws, including the brothers, have Concealed Pistol Licenses and pistols. The wife carries a P-3AT.
And I spend a fortune on silhouette targets. Hahaha.
If your wifey is scared of the gun itself, I highly suggest showing it to her in pieces when you clean it. A lot of people I've done that for, that's when the "Not scary tool!" dawns on them. And then a trip to the range to show them things like The Four Rules and proper shooting techniques... I always started with a .22 and a bullseye target.
Hope this helps!
My wife married me in the service, so weapons were already at least a talking point.
I didn't talk about it much, I just did it. And they would notice here and there, like when I helped my father in law strip the paint off of his house, or when I crawled under a table to plug something in. Imagine that, my .45 didn't go BANG. It has NEVER gone BANG unless I made it go BANG on purpose.
When they eventually watched me either clean a weapon or unload it for whatever reason and do all the safe things (like indexing the finger on the frame) then it became less of a scary dangerous thing and more of a "Huh, it's just a tool and it will do what I use it for!"
Well, the rest is history. All of the in laws, including the brothers, have Concealed Pistol Licenses and pistols. The wife carries a P-3AT.
And I spend a fortune on silhouette targets. Hahaha.
If your wifey is scared of the gun itself, I highly suggest showing it to her in pieces when you clean it. A lot of people I've done that for, that's when the "Not scary tool!" dawns on them. And then a trip to the range to show them things like The Four Rules and proper shooting techniques... I always started with a .22 and a bullseye target.
Hope this helps!
When my wife and I were going together she had an exboyfriend start stalking her. This guy was a full head taller than I was and about 30 pounds heavier. The guy and his mother crossed our paths at a farmers market. He became verbaly abusive and then attempted to hit my wife while his mother watched with anticipation. I took him down with a trip only to have him pick up a wrench as he got up. I yelled for someone to call police and took a security six out of a shoulder holster. This finally upset his mother who collared him and was screaming for my arrest when the cops got there. I charged him with assualt with intent to do great bodily harm and offered to sue, everything got dropped. My wife freaked out about the gun and back at her father's house asked if I would have shot him. Her oldest brother was with me in High School and said, "Yeah he was in the Army." We have been married for 30 years now and guns still freak her out, but she always considers me armed and leaves security to my discretion, works for us.
blindhari
When we sit down for Xmas Dinner every year there are 5 ex NCOs around the tablen all Viet Nam Era Vets, every one with a CCW
blindhari
When we sit down for Xmas Dinner every year there are 5 ex NCOs around the tablen all Viet Nam Era Vets, every one with a CCW
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longdayjake
Member
When I carry (which isn't often because I rarely go into public areas) nobody knows about it. I don't tell my wife when I am carrying because it is my responsibility and she doesn't need to worry about it. Once when I wasn't carrying we had a confrontation with a drunk while we were waiting for a carry out pizza to get done. That day she wished I had been carrying and even tells me she likes the idea as long as nobody knows about it. I think she likes to feel safe but she doesn't want her friends and family to think of me as a nutjob.
Horrible advice, for someone without serious training.
In Ohio, you can carry a knife as long as it is to be used as a tool and not as a weapon, at least this has been my experience working there.
Experienced knife fighters never say "always" or "never", and know that there is a time and a place for everything. I've been attacked with a knife and escaped being cut, before during and after the disarm.
Going about your business is usually the best solution when someone starts dropping rules on you.
The_Pretender
Member
Many would agree:
It's given to have a spare tire.
Acceptable to have a generator.
Prudent to own a disaster(bomb) shelter.
Logical to have myriads of insurance policies.
Foolish to not have a spare key.
Idiotic to not have smoke alarms.
Common sense to have a fire escape/severe weather plan.
...but choose to carry a gun and you're crazy. I'd just assume be caught with one than without one.
Do I really feel the need to have a gun at the movie theater? No. Do you feel like you're going to get in an auto accident every day? No, but you still put your seat belt on. We take measures to protect ourselves.
Once as a kid, I got in my dad's truck and put my seat belt on. He never used to wear his. He said "You don't trust me?" And I replied "No, I do trust you. It's everyone else I don't trust."
If you were a criminal, and you saw a business that banned legal concealed carry, wouldn't you think that would be a good place to knock over?
How about if the sign out front said "NOTICE: All customers carry a concealed weapon"?
-I think I'd steer away from that one.
Props to understanding the wife and trying to make an effort to see both sides of the fence. But lord knows we don't understand half the **** they do or say. You should be allowed one or two.
It's given to have a spare tire.
Acceptable to have a generator.
Prudent to own a disaster(bomb) shelter.
Logical to have myriads of insurance policies.
Foolish to not have a spare key.
Idiotic to not have smoke alarms.
Common sense to have a fire escape/severe weather plan.
...but choose to carry a gun and you're crazy. I'd just assume be caught with one than without one.
Do I really feel the need to have a gun at the movie theater? No. Do you feel like you're going to get in an auto accident every day? No, but you still put your seat belt on. We take measures to protect ourselves.
Once as a kid, I got in my dad's truck and put my seat belt on. He never used to wear his. He said "You don't trust me?" And I replied "No, I do trust you. It's everyone else I don't trust."
If you were a criminal, and you saw a business that banned legal concealed carry, wouldn't you think that would be a good place to knock over?
How about if the sign out front said "NOTICE: All customers carry a concealed weapon"?
-I think I'd steer away from that one.
Props to understanding the wife and trying to make an effort to see both sides of the fence. But lord knows we don't understand half the **** they do or say. You should be allowed one or two.
leadcounsel
member
Why don't you ask her WHY? It's completely irrational - I mean I understand (but don't agree with) passifism, but to think your life is valuable at home but not in public it makes no sense.
So ask her why and report back.
So ask her why and report back.
3845
Member
Wow. From reading some of the posts, I get an image of northern Mexico, with bullets raking the streets.
It is still possible in some parts of America to leave home without a gun and survive. And, if Ohio has criminalized the carrying of a pocket knife, it sounds worse than Illinois.
The man is married. If he wants to stay married he will respect the views of his PARTNER. If not, well, carry away.
It is still possible in some parts of America to leave home without a gun and survive. And, if Ohio has criminalized the carrying of a pocket knife, it sounds worse than Illinois.
The man is married. If he wants to stay married he will respect the views of his PARTNER. If not, well, carry away.
TomCat5
Member
All valid points from everyone...I would just add that marriage and life involve compromise. Good luck!
Carl N. Brown
Member
English biographies and autobiographies of the late 19th and 20th centuries, as well as the fiction of H.G. Wells, Arthur Conan Doyle, and others, indicate that carry of concealed handguns was not uncommon among gentlemen and some ladies of that era before the British 1920 Firearms Act. Not only was person-on-person crime at its lowest point in British history, but marriage was a heathier institution then than it is today. History indicates that concealed carry was compatible with marriage. Cheerio.
Gun Geezer
Member
I had to look up "hoplophobic". Never knew there was such a word!
Yo Mama
Member
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Hey Steve, more important is the man who said it, Col. Cooper. If you have a sec to read on his works it's a wealth of information:http://myweb.cebridge.net/mkeithr/Jeff/
This link has archives of his work from 1993-2006.
This link has archives of his work from 1993-2006.
Deanimator
Member
An interesting "theory"... Ohio is "worse" than Illinois because I can carry a GUN but not a knife useful for combat. I'm sure Sarah Brady thinks so.
Well, your image is incorrect. Bullets aren't raking the streets in northern Mexico despite the lies regarding assault weapons, but for the few times in which a drug gang decides to target someone, that someone better be armed with something more than a quote of "this can't be happening because there's only a XX% chance".
And what's your point? In every part of America that is possible. In fact, a person could go through their whole life and never experience a criminal attack. However, if it ever does happen it won't be something that you can just blow under the rug. It will be a serious life threatening incident and quoting the percentages against it happening won't stop it.
The point was that a knife has it's limitations and is no match for a gun, no matter how you try and rationalize it.
Respect is a two way street. Marriage isn't a dictatorship. If your marriage is so weak that your wife will divorce you for legally carrying a handgun then you have a much deeper problem. A woman will respect you if she knows she can trust you and your judgement.
What is it that you're trying to compensate for? A weak relationship in which you haven't been holding up your end to begin with?
NavyLCDR
member
Why are so many people on here saying he should just give in to her? How come very few people are saying - if the marriage is important she will respect him. Marriage is difficult and this is a little thing, she should just let him carry concealed. What the heck? Everybody seems to be saying it's just a little thing and it's important to HER so concede. Well, what if it is just as important to him? If it's such a little thing, why can't she just concede?
NavyLCDR
member
My fiance and soon-to-be-stepdaughter are going with me to an open carry group luncheon this afternoon. I agree!
brboyer
Member
My wife would never presume to tell me what to do, nor I, her.
But then again, we are both adults that respect one another.
This has worked for us over the last 28 years.
Now I'll admit she was a little concerned about it at first. After talking about it, turned out that my carrying confirmed to her that the world is not necessarily all blue skies, pink flowers and cute little puppy dogs.- Reality sucks sometimes.
She got over it quick after a comment from a LEO at our daughter's middle school. As we were dropping the little one off for a school dance, we walked past the LEO on security detail and the wife innocently says, "Take good care of my daughter, tonight." The cop, very professionally, suggested to my wife that "Your daughter should know how to take care of herself, we can't protect everyone."
But then again, we are both adults that respect one another.
This has worked for us over the last 28 years.
Now I'll admit she was a little concerned about it at first. After talking about it, turned out that my carrying confirmed to her that the world is not necessarily all blue skies, pink flowers and cute little puppy dogs.
- Reality sucks sometimes. She got over it quick after a comment from a LEO at our daughter's middle school. As we were dropping the little one off for a school dance, we walked past the LEO on security detail and the wife innocently says, "Take good care of my daughter, tonight." The cop, very professionally, suggested to my wife that "Your daughter should know how to take care of herself, we can't protect everyone."
Mikhail Weiss
Member
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Okay. Here's another try:
Your life is more important to me than my own, my dear. But I would rather dispense bullets into the villain who would harm you than soak them up while standing in front of you.
Your life is more important to me than my own, my dear. But I would rather dispense bullets into the villain who would harm you than soak them up while standing in front of you.
3845
Member
I guess my point is that a man should respect his wife, as she should respect him. That would mean on every issue.
I know the arguments for going armed. I have actually locked up plenty of macho men who left home prepared for combat at every corner. Plenty of others whose idea of a good wife was somebody to smack around when nobody at the bar wanted to fight, too.
My point is that in reality most of us are not ready when the SHTF, and most of you won't be either. Big talk is easy, divorce isn't. And when the jury looks at that Rambo knife, they aren't going to go easy on you. A small pocket knife that anyone might carry is much more defensible, and believe it or not, it will take all the wind out of someone in a hurry. (I base that on stabbings I have worked, not on theory.)
I go armed, and I advocate it for reasonable folks. But you won't find me on the Mexican border, lies about American weapons notwithstanding. Many people are being killed there, and that is not a lie.
I don't remember the rest of the rant, and I'm tired of playing, anyway.
I know the arguments for going armed. I have actually locked up plenty of macho men who left home prepared for combat at every corner. Plenty of others whose idea of a good wife was somebody to smack around when nobody at the bar wanted to fight, too.
My point is that in reality most of us are not ready when the SHTF, and most of you won't be either. Big talk is easy, divorce isn't. And when the jury looks at that Rambo knife, they aren't going to go easy on you. A small pocket knife that anyone might carry is much more defensible, and believe it or not, it will take all the wind out of someone in a hurry. (I base that on stabbings I have worked, not on theory.)
I go armed, and I advocate it for reasonable folks. But you won't find me on the Mexican border, lies about American weapons notwithstanding. Many people are being killed there, and that is not a lie.
I don't remember the rest of the rant, and I'm tired of playing, anyway.
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