Slowly easing Girlfriend into the reason for CCW

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pacerdude

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First off, I am not sure if this is the correct area for this topic, so Moderators if this is the wrong area feel free to move it.

Last night my girlfriend and I were talking about nothing in particular when something on tv made the subject of guns come up, and our conversation steered to guns and gun rights. My girlfriend knows that I am a "gun person", as she calls it, and she has no problem with my interest in, or owning of guns. She writes it off as "I'm a guy, from the South who likes guns", so it's no big shock that I support owning them and recently joined the NRA. She has no problem with me having the guns at my apartment put up in my safe, or even having them in the car, which is legal in GA even without a CCW permit.

However, our main difference of opinion comes from her idea that for the most part there is no reason for me or anyone to carry a gun around all the time with police officers and soldiers or hunters being the exception. She just can't fathom why I would need a CCW permit, or why I would ever have a use for carrying a gun around at the mall.

I however feel that it is important for me to get my CCW permit. Now, she comes from a home without guns and I have offered to take her to the range and show her how they work, because I think it would be prudent that she knows how to use a firearm as well, just in case something bad happens and having a gun at the mall or hiking or whatever turns out to be a good idea.

Also she understands that I want to carry the gun for protection, and I tried explaining to her due to my pacemaker, I cannot get into physical confrontations and walk away the same as other men might be able to.

Guys how did you convince your girlfriends, wives, significant others etc... to see the value of a CCW permit and or carrying a gun around to the mall or movies or wherever you are going, if she was originally against carrying???
 
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From the thread title, I thought this would be about reasons for her to CC ;)
 
I would like for her to CC as well, but one thing at a time! ;)

I have to convince her that CC'ing is a good thing first!
 
I had known my GF about three weeks when she 'found' one of my handguns in a backpack while we were out in the woods in one of my Unimog trucks. I was not carrying while in situations where we might get physically close as I *really* didn't want to take a chance of scaring her away. I was just about to the point of talking to her about guns and that I normally carry at all times when she found my handgun by accident. I was really worried for about five seconds but she was completely unfazed by it and likes the fact that I do carry. She proposed to me three months later and we've been together nine years.

If I were to find myself dating again I would carry at all times as that's what I do otherwise. I have realized that if my carrying is something that a five minute conversation can't clear up then whoever I'm dating is not going to be compatible with me anyway.

I think in your shoes I would try to point out things on the news and such that let her draw her own conclusion that the police are not there to protect you, they are there to find the BG that killed you after the fact. I wouldn't start spouting things like: "When seconds count the police are just minutes away!" But try to steer her toward realizing that this is, in fact, the case on her own. I would absolutely take her shooting but if she is shy about guns stick to something small caliber that isn't likely to frighten her. Remember that people who have never been around guns and have only seen them in the light in which Hollywierd portrays them may be very hesitant to even handle one. Movies are full of one-shot instant kills and bottomless magazines spewing death. :banghead: The old adage that you never get a second chance to make a first impression is true for shooting firearms as well!

By all means get your permit and carry if you feel that it is right for you. She will get used to it. If she doesn't... well... if you disagree strongly enough on a subject like personal defense that it's a deal breaker chances are you weren't going to work out as a couple anyway.
 
I have two guns that I would like to let her try, a Ruger Mk III 22/45 and a Taurus PT-22. She is also a very petite girl, 5'2 and maybe 90 pounds soaking wet, so I definitely wouldn't start her off with a .44 magnum or anything.
 
Tell her? My wife found out about a month after I had it. ;) She is very alright with it and found out over Christmas her 75 year old aunt just got hers.


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I think your 22/45 is the *perfect* first handgun for anyone to shoot. In fact, I think it's one of the most fun-to-shoot handguns ever made. Before I took my GF shooting for the first time I went over firearms operation and safety at home and had her do some dry firing so she'd be more comfortable with the weapon and would be less stressed when we were at the range. I also made a 'date' of the range trip, going for a nice walk beforehand and taking her to a favorite restaurant afterward. Seems to have worked. :cool:
 
Mr.510 has the right idea. Make it a fun outing. The corneredcat.com website has great info too.

My girlfriend, who is now my wife, was from a gun-owning family, so it was a smooth transition.
 
do a little research on how police departments work.. I'm not a LEO and have no experience myself so if I speak incorrectly, correct me if I'm wrong. a friend of mine has worked with DEA and was a local sheriff. He also did my ccw class. he was explaining that a lot of departments have what are called "blackouts", where there is no officer available for hours at a time. He said that if there is not a second car to respond to violent crimes officers are instructed to disregard the call. Rape in progress, gang beating/killing, robbery, ect.... if an officer has no back up they are instructed to let you deal with it on your own. now this is what we were taught from a reputable source. I didn't post this to insult any LEO's I'm just saying the cops can't be everywhere. I want to protect myself. Your GF should be flattered that your willing to go to such links to protect her.
 
I just got back into shooting at the end of 2009 after a long absence from the sport. During the absence I met and married my wife, who warmed to the idea of gun ownership slowly over time. I never pushed it, just took occasional opportunities to mention it, like when a heinous home invasion would pop up on the news I'd mention "that's one of the reasons why it's handy to have a shotgun." Well cut to the present, I have a couple of guns again, NRA membership, carry permit and lately she's been asking me, "so, you have a carry permit right?" "Yup," I have one even though I don't carry all that often right now, besides what it's really good for having one also gets you out of the Washington State waiting period. "Should I get a carry permit too?" "Heck yes, you should! Why, I could show you some little pistols that would fit right in your purse!" :D Next step is getting her to a basic shooter's safety class, love that woman.
 
1) Don't push, scare, lecture, or scold or YOU are likely to become the problem rather than the gun.

2) Cornered Cat is great, but don't push.

3) Proceeding at her own pace, my wife gradually went from being a hoplophobe to a CCW/CPL holder who sees shooting as a Zen meditation exercise.
 
cambeul41 has it right. And, just ease into it. I probably wouldn't talk about it to much until/unless she makes a big deal about it. At some point she'll gradually quit worrying about your carrying, and eventually may come to the conclusion that's it's a good thing for her to do so. But, pushing at all will cause you problems.
 
"One drop at a time" works. Present to her articles where the victims were armed and unarmed. Look at the outcomes. The conclusion will be obvious.

And, if she won't come around, she's just a girlfriend. If she won't defend your (future) children, then she's useless.
 
It's really quite simple. Bad crap happens to good folks every day. She seems to understand that to an extent (she is cool with guns at home and in the car). It's only a small step to accept that bad crap doesn't just happen at home or in the car, and the vast majority of the time there won't be a cop within a 5 minutes driving to help.

Like it or not, we are responsible for our own protection. If the cops are there to protect us, then why do movie stars, football players, big CEOs etc hire private body guards?

I got my CCW when my wife became pregnant with our son, about 5 years ago. She strongly resisted the idea at the time, but she quickly changed her position when I explain it this way. Basically, that I cannot afford a body guard for our family on my pay, so I have to be the body guard.
 
You're right jad, at least she is not anti-gun. She realizes the need for it at one's home, or in one's car to protect us.

However, she just doesn't think that we could ever need a gun when we are just wandering around the mall or store because we will be minding our own business. :eek:
 
Since she is against me carrying right now, I don't think it would be a wise decision on my part to get the permit without telling her and then carry the gun without her knowledge. I can see that plan going very poorly!

Getting the permit without telling her might be fine, but then carrying without her knowledge seems like I would be going against her wishes and deliberately disrespecting her position on the matter, which would lead to an argument that I wouldn't win in a million years.

What do ya'll think?
 
Pacerdud - was your g/f involved in Scouting at all? If so, it appears that she has fogotten one of Scouting's basic principles - Be Prepared !!
Knowledge is "forearmed" and "pro-active". Even if she never has to use a firearm to defend herself, at least she would have the necessary knowledge.

Good luck!
 
You're in Metro Atlanta, and she has to ask why you feel more comfortable with having a weapon on you when you go shopping?!? Ask her where the police were whenever a robbery, rape, home invasion, or murder took place. I know Atlanta isn't as bad as Memphis or New Orleans but violent crime isn't rare enough for me to feel safe going there without being armed. A friend of mine will no longer go to Atlanta, we were at an event for one of my other hobbies in Marietta a couple of years ago and he got caught between two carloads of rival gang members shouting and brandishing at each other on I-85 on his way out of town. Just goes to show that you can be minding your own business in a place where you would never expect trouble but it can find you.
 
Jt-hunter, nope she was never involved with scouting and she was not around guns growing up. Her gun knowledge comes primarily from NCIS on tv. She is a very analytical person and on most things chooses the safest options after all her major is Insurance and Risk Management, which I find amusing because she doesn't see the potential risks that arise in and around Atlanta.

Gearhead- believe me I know how dangerous Atlanta is, the only part of the city I feel safe in are certain parts of the Midtown area and Buckhead (my parents go to church there) and even then I try to only go into the city during daylight hours. It's a shame too, because Atlantic Station area used to be a great place until people started getting mugged constantly :banghead:.

I am torn because I am almost willing to get the permit without telling her, and carry without her knowledge just to be on the safe side, but as I said earlier I don't want to push her too hard on the subject, and make her go completely against it.
 
Since she is against me carrying right now, I don't think it would be a wise decision on my part to get the permit without telling her and then carry the gun without her knowledge. I can see that plan going very poorly!
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You are not married to her. It's your life, not hers. If she is really this stupid now, just wait until you cannot get rid of her.

You are being derelict in your duty to protect yourself. In not protecting yourself, by extension, you are not protecting your community. Criminals currently may commit violent felonies in your presence and there is nothing you can do. If you do survive an encounter, how will you feel when they start rolling out the wounded and dead in front of you while you're getting treated? You will know that you could have done something, except that a stupid female prevented you from doing so.

Dump her now.
 
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