22 auto for my G/F to use

[LegalAlien]

And now you're in Florida, but don't know (or haven't bothered to find out) what you can get...BS

And your point is????

Why do you think I came to the board with questions?

GO GET A LIFE!!!!

 

[Correia]

Soybomb, if this was isolated to this thread alone, I would agree with you.

Having been doing this mod thing since the beginning, and having taken a personal interest in this issue, Delta9 is right. I've come to the conclusion that as a culture, we do a lot of damage to ourselves. Most of us don't do it on purpose, and it isn't meant to be derogetory, but I see it everyday on THR, and I see it in the gunstores, at the shows, and I see it in training classes.

Delta9 isn't being overly sensitive, because this same issue has come up hundreds of times, and has been pointed out to many different mods over the years by literally hundreds of female members. You will also note that most of those female members no longer bother to post here. Usually they'll send us a note when they drop out, and it comes back to this same kind of issue.

I'm not saying that our forum is populated by people that hate women. Quite the contrary. I think THR is the best forum on the net, for any topic, and is a bright shining light compared to some of the other ones out there. But I think since our mission is to help our culture and convince the undecided, I think we could do a better job, and pay a little more attention to how we convey ourselves on some topics.

 

[antsi]

I think before immediately jumping to the conclusion that Delta9 is a hysterical feminist going nuclear for no reason, and writing her off, it might make sense to pay attention to what she is saying. Just on the off chance that she might actually have a point.

The OP was about finding a handgun for his GF. So far as I know, Delta9 is the only actual female who has replied, and she noticed a certain tone in the discussion highlighted by the repeated use of the word "let."

Maybe none of the guys really meant it that way. Maybe not a single guy who replied has ever in his entire life been patronizing to a woman regarding guns.

Even so, there might be a useful lesson here. Seems to me, women do often feel patronized by guys when they are getting involved in "guy things." We have had a number of threads here about women being patronized by gun shop employees. I have seen gun shop employees treat my own wife like an idiot, even after she totally out-shot all the guys on the store's indoor range, they still treated her like someone's half-wit stepchild.

If women are frequently getting this vibe from men when they foray into the world of guns ans shooting, it is definitely in our interest to be aware of this and avoid it at all costs. Just generally not wanting to drive women away from shooting (I'd rather have another NRA member than another Million Mom) - but even moreso, not wanting to drive our own wives/girlfriends/daughters away from shooting.

Words do matter. If one woman reads a thread where all the guys are talking about what they're going to "let" their womenfolk do, and finds it patronizing, that is useful information. Even if one doesn't mean to be patronizing, the simple fact of knowing that a woman might interpret that as patronizing might be useful information - something to avoid.

I guess for those guys on the forum who totally understand women and never unintentionally give off the wrong impression, lucky for you.

For the rest of us, who can use a helpful tip from time to time, thanks Delta9.

 

[jdorian]

Delta9 is 100% correct. If its a gift, especially of the personal type, she should be given the chance to decide on a model she likes. Do guys buy their ladies all their bras and underwear? I think not, they take them to the store with them, or the lady goes to the store on her own. The males only role in this business transaction is to define a budget and make payment for the item. The lady should have full decision rights.

I sure wouldn't want my lady to pick my guns out. Its different if I buy a gun for myself with the idea that my lady might shoot it, but nonetheless, its my gun, not hers. If she likes it, great, but if not, its still my gun. I might gift her a gun that she likes, and go through all the legal paperwork to transfer it to her, but thats more of a legal thing rather than anything else.