Am I paranoid or just prepared?

[Norinco982lover]

I would like to ask your opinion on a situation that came up between me and my wife the other night.

We were sitting in the Living Room of our 4-plex (i'm on the top floor) watching a movie with my wife's 19 year old sister and also my downstairs neighbor (he is 23). It was about 10pm and rather nice outside so we had left the door outside open and left the screendoor shut(doesn't lock). Our upstairs neighbor had been robbed last week so even though we were in a decent neighborhood I still did not feel comfortable with the door open that late at night so I placed my CZ-75 beside me on the back of the cushion on the couch. It was inches from my arm and I felt perfectly safe doing this because I had cleared it before I put the mag in and had left it with nothing in the chamber.

Nobody noticed the pistol until the end of the movie when my wife came up off the floor to sit with me on the couch. She was sitting positioned so that her head was almost resting on the pistol but she was not touching it. I mentioned to her that she might not want to push her head back all the way because the pistol was there and she immediately began to scold me for having a gun with me in the living room. I told her that it did not have a round in the chamber and was perfectly safe and she did not care. Needless to say it was slightly embaressing for me but I did stand my ground and keep the gun in my waistband for the remainder of the evening.

Now I have taken my wife shooting several times and she seems to enjoy it but why does she not trust me with a gun? I am very responsible and take great care in following all the rules of gun safety (which I have explained to her as well). Am i paranoid to have a pistol at hand late at night with the door open or should I have just left it in its place by the nightstand?

fyi: I am 20 my wife is 21 (we are both extremely responsible individuals, no alcohol, etc.)

 

[ByAnyMeans]

I would say you were just prepared but many others (not from this board) will say paranoid. I always feel like your paranoid until something happens than you were "just prepared".

 

[BruceRDucer]

I have good alert watchdogs, who will alert me if anyone approaches.


It isn't about suffering from a psychological disorder.

It's about the Boy Scout Motto: "Be prepared."

I'd feel very safe at your house.

 

[scastle]

I think you were just prepared. I like to keep a rifle upstairs and downstairs at my house when my boyfriend is gone. You never know what may happen. As long as you are responsible about it, which I believe you were.

 

[Titan6]

Let's see.... we are monitoring your heart rate, resperations and blood pressure through the camera on your computer. You appear to be functioning normally at this time so I don't think you are paranoid.

 

[TallPine]

Well, I carry a sidearm on my belt all the time at home (except in bed or the shower).

 

[mr.72]

I am going to disagree here. I think your wife is not on board with your home defense choices and you need to deal with that first. I wrote another reply a minute ago but it went into the bit bucket. You guys are 20 and 21 years old. Ah, I remember being 20 years old and being married. You know my wife and I were nearly 30 before we were really stable enough to not react unreasonably to something like a gun. I think this is inexperience and youth as much as anything.

However I'd say, try and find a way to help your wife to be comfortable with your gun. Then become comfortable enough yourself that you don't think that leaving it without a round in the chamber makes it safer. And then shut the door man!

IMHO.

 

[JesseL]

Well, I carry a sidearm on my belt all the time at home (except in bed or the shower).

Same here.

 

[OregonJohnny]

I don't think it's as much about being labeled "paranoid" as it is about keeping a loaded gun (albeit with an empty chamber) in plain sight around others (who may not be as comfortable as you with firearms around) in a casual setting. It's perfectly reasonable for you to do what you like in your own home, but sometimes, a concealed firearm makes those around you a little less tense or uncomfortable.

 

[30 cal slob]

Our upstairs neighbor had been robbed last week ...

'nuff said.

No, you're not being paranoid.

Consider holstering that pistol on your person in the house. While not the most comfortable, a smartcarry holster (thunderwear) is one way to go).

 

[xsquidgator]

I don't think it's as much about being labeled "paranoid" as it is about keeping a loaded gun (albeit with an empty chamber) in plain sight around others (who may not be as comfortable as you with firearms around) in a casual setting. It's perfectly reasonable for you to do what you like in your own home, but sometimes, a concealed firearm makes those around you a little less tense or uncomfortable.

My thoughts too. I don't think it's unreasonable to think the way you, especially not given that you had a neighbor robbed recently. I don't expect trouble, but I do know that it happens occasionally to people who aren't expecting it. It also often happens so quickly that going to get a defensive gun in another room might not be close enough or soon enough to help you. For that reason, I always have something handy myself. I don't expect trouble but hey, if I have the means of self-defense available that I do, it'd be a 'durn shame to have them but not be able to use them because I couldn't get to them.

I'd suggest going with a concealed gun, perhaps something small enough for pocket carry in a pocket holster. My wife is pro-gun and has her own CCW, but even she would be uncomfortable with a just in case gun laying out while we were watching tv or whatever. My pocket carry is so comfortable and unobtrusive that I always have it in my pocket, even watching tv or whatever. She knows it's there, but houseguests and "mainstream" people accustomed to only seeing guns on tv don't know, and aren't bothered.

 

[V1K1NG0]

You arent paranoid just cautious. I always have one holstered on my belt. Friends and Family were usually surprised the first time it comes up if/whenever they visit but it lasts for a second. If they do not feel comfortable they can always leave. Nobody has yet. People take a holstered gun differently than having it laying out. Plus you have a little more control over it. Maybe she did not know what your visitors would have thought and reacted that way because she did not know what they would do about it.

Get a IWB holster (or pocket holster if firearm is not too big) and dont worry about it.

Maybe you should add a lock to the screen door and some chimes/bells to let you know when someone is messing with it.

 

[ge0624me]

needless to say , your always going to get that kinda reaction from non-gun people, maybe there is a little paranoia in all of us gun nuts, but i would rather be a little on edge, and ''prepared'' than to not be around at all ,to even enjoy a good movie in the first place...

 

[rem2429]

If you were really prepared, the screen door would have had a lock too.
If you were really paraniod, the main door would have been locked despite the nice weather.

The pistol is a step in either direction, but is in itself neither.

Now your wife...she seems a little paranoid and unprepared. Mine is the same way. If I carry at home, it is generally concealed just to avoid these arguments. I wouldn't make her read this thread. It will only make her angry.

 

[Picard]

The more that you walk around the house with guns, the more normal it will be for you and your wife. As long as you keep things safe, I see no problem with it. It's a great way to practice personal responsibility.

 

[Norinco982lover]

Thanks for all your informative replies! I do carry concealed around the house quite often and will continue to do so as much as possible. This situation would have probably been avoided had the pistol been concealed on my person.

I have tried as much as I can to convince my wife that even though we trust God to protect us we should take every precaution that he has provided us to keep us safe. She does understand...too a point...but thinks that the 12 gauge in the closet in the bedroom should be all we need. I'm sure she will get used to the idea of me carrying a gun eventually tho Kansas is kinda odd when it comes to places posted "no guns" and even the hospital i work at is posted. My wife works at a Credit union (bank) that is posted no guns and she told me last week that she was shocked and scared to see someone carrying a gun (obviously not concealed well) into her bank. We had a nice discussion about that too Thanks!

 

[Jst1mr]

Shame on you for unnecessarily putting yourself and family/friends in peril by leaving an open invitation to a home invasion and hoping you can play the grand defender. I am all in favor of HD weapons, but you should be concerned with AVOIDING any situation, NOT inviting it...especially with a recent precedent in the neighborhood. You were uneasy for a reason, but you took the wrong first step. After you 've gunned down a 15yr old (BG, 'banger, hood w/a record, or not), a defense lawyer would be extremely interested in why you didn't bother to lock your door before rashly taking this youngster's life....that's life in this day and age.

 

[ebd10]

Do a Google search on the Carr brothers in Wichita and then let your wife read it. I'll bet that that will be the last complaint you ever hear.

Here's a link:
http://www.trutv.com/library/crime/notorious_murders/classics/carr_brothers/index.html

 

[Soybomb]

She was sitting positioned so that her head was almost resting on the pistol but she was not touching it.

I told her that it did not have a round in the chamber and was perfectly safe and she did not care.

I am very responsible and take great care in following all the rules of gun safety (which I have explained to her as well).

If my head is somewhere near a pistol, especially an unholstered one, I'd be a little upset too. Remember your rules, the gun is always loaded. I think she's very much right to get up in arms when told to not worry about the unsheathed gun near her head it because its unloaded. Many people every year are shot by unloaded guns, at least they were supposed to be unloaded.

I think you'll have a much better chance of getting her on board if your efforts seem safer.

 

[Griz44]

I guess WE are paranoid then. I wear my CCW at home. Most home invasions are so fast that you will not have time to run get the gun. At least you have a chance if it is close. When we are alone and watching TV or talking and a loud noise comes from outside, she will ask, "Where's your gun?" We live in an upscale area, and the BG seem to come here for no good rather than stay home where there's nothing for them to steal. Be prepared, stay prepared. She will get used to it.

 

[ZeSpectre]

I read this thread earlier and decided to ponder it a bit before replying. Here's my opinion (probably worth exactly what you paid for it <grin>).

1) I don't think it's paranoid to have your self defense tools handy. As Churchill is reputed to have said "A gentleman will almost never need a pistol, but when he does he well need it very badly and RIGHT NOW!"

2) Regardless of a "cleared chamber" you broke the 4 rules with your handling methods. Keep that sucker in a holster. I would have been furious to find that a gun was near my head that whole time.

3) Try discussing the situation again now, after everyone has calmed down and a bit of time has passed. Sounds like you and your wife do need to clear the air a bit.

 

[JackBurtonJr]

After 34 years my wife just ignores what I do so I guess you're still on your honeymoon.

Seriously, you should work thru some of these things in advance. It's to your best interest for a whole variety of reasons, inlcuding keeping a happy wife, but also "just in case."

You want to be on that same page if someone does come in thru that door.

 

[mr.72]

1. if you are concerned about your security at home, CLOSE AND LOCK THE DOORS

2. as others have pointed out, carry the gun on your person IN A HOLSTER

 

[guntotinguy]

Well, I carry a sidearm on my belt all the time at home (except in bed or the shower).

Yes me too...and the wife as well!Just a few words difference between paranoid and prepared anyways.

 

[Win75]

I am always within arms reach of a firearm anywhere I happen to be in my house. Right now, I have a S&W M36 loaded with 158gr. SWHP +P on a shelf under the computer.

NOT Paranoid. YES prepared.

My wife was a little up and down with the firearm around all the time, especially in the car, until she went to MULES training connected with her job. After they told her about the...well, stuff that I can't discuss here...she changed her mind and makes sure I have a weapon handy.