Anti Significant Others....

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ChefKristian

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So, my long-time girlfriend (we are basically married) and I always butt heads when it comes to me having a gun. She is terrified of them. So much, in fact, that I have to keep it out of sight and constantly tell her that the gun is safely unloaded and tucked away (mostly true) :rolleyes: She is always saying "I don't want that THING in this house!" To which I reply "It's my house too"

I don't ever think I will be able to convince her that responsible gun ownership is not a bad thing. I tell her that it is better to have one and not need it, rather than needing one and it be too late... And all this is after someone tried to kick our front door in one late night (reason why I own a gun).

So my question is, how many of you out there have to deal with this, and HOW do you deal with it?:confused:
 
Honestly, there may be no changing her.... It might also be a view into how she will handle other problems.'


My wife is no fan, but she's reasonable.
 
I never seriously dated an anti, much less shacked up with her.

It sounds like you're the only one expected to compromise, to accommodate her irrantional fear.

I wonder what she'd do if you said, "This gun stays in this house. In fact, I'll be buying more."

If you fear her response, you might want to reflect some more on the relationship and how much you want a gun in the house.

If you had to pick ONE...........which one would it be?
 
Boy that's a tough one.

You just have to decide what's more important, her or your beliefs.

Really a tough spot. Personally I couldn't have a relationship with someone who didn't share my core beliefs.
 
Meanwhile, have you ever taken her shooting?

If not, there are ways to make that first outing work for you.
 
David E said:
I never seriously dated an anti, much less shacked up with her.

It sounds like you're the only one expected to compromise, to accommodate her irrantional fear.

I wonder what she'd do if you said, "This gun stays in this house. In fact, I'll be buying more."

If you fear her response, you might want to reflect some more on the relationship and how much you want a gun in the house.

If you had to pick ONE...........which one would it be?
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I have tried that route, opened a big huge can of worms...

I guess I need good hiding places :) Or to buy a house where I can have my man cave...
 
If you are serious about SD/HD then you can't stay with her. If you stay with her and not "compromise" ie getting rid of the guns, she will have half of your stuff within 10 years.
 
David E said:
Meanwhile, have you ever taken her shooting?

If not, there are ways to make that first outing work for you.
Click to expand...
She has shot before for school, she has a Criminal Justice degree... She is just worried that our 18 month old daughter will somehow climb to the top shelf in the closet, unlock the case (I have the only key), place the magazine in the pistol, cock the gun and chamber a load, and fire it...
 
I married an Alabama farm girl. She was familiar with pump shotguns but that was about it. She is much more skilled with guns now.

As far as your anti-girl friend.....two words......Irreconcilable differences. JK!!!
 
Personally I couldn't have a relationship with someone who didn't share my core beliefs.
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My thoughts exactly. Good luck.

Really, if you don't share basic beliefs, it just plain won't work. My bride and I will celebrate our 40th anniversary this coming year. I can't imagine spending forty years trying to get my partner to understand my point of view.

No wonder marriages don't last anymore. Its a shame.
 
CHEF KRISTIAN - "I have tried that route, opened a big huge can of worms...

I guess I need good hiding places Or to buy a house where I can have my man cave... "
Click to expand...

Chef, you ain't just asking for trouble... you're sitting up and begging for it.

L.W.
 
She is just worried that our 18 month old daughter will somehow climb to the top shelf in the closet, unlock the case (I have the only key), place the magazine in the pistol, cock the gun and chamber a load, and fire it
Click to expand...
Well, if it makes you feel any better, that is totally irrational and unreasonable.
As to a practical solution, either go to a gun safety or CC course together, keep the "out of sight/out of mind" going*, secure it better (as in on your person), or get her to stop and think rationally**.


*Doesn't sound like a healthy long-term solution to me
**Do not ask her to "pretend to think like a rational person until faking it becomes a habit" ... it doesn't work, and may get you punched
 
I can't complain....my wife rolls her eyes alot when I start talking about more guns or reloading stuff but then again, she buys stuff for me when she sees my want list getting too long.
 
...and that's why i'm single!

/joking, but not really. I'm always looking for the right girl...but so far, the only one who loves it when i take out a gun is my dog Frida.
 
Chef,

I was exactly in your position 8 years ago. My wife and I were already married for about 4 years when I started getting into the hobby of shooting. It took me 2 looooong months and alot of "Do you really love me?" before I convinced her to allow me to purchase my first gun. It's going to take awhile, but persistence will pay off. Keep the gun, maybe hide it somewhere around the house fo self protection, but slowly expose it to her regularly until she feels comfortable with it. And one very important thing, you must also please her - buy her stuff, it will soften her up.

My wife now doesn't mind my carrying in and out of the house. She's even be trying to convince my 8 year old to get into shooting sports.

Good luck!
 
taking relationship advice from your computer is marginally less useful than using your computer to heat your home.... sure, there is a little benefit, but not much and it's hard to define...
 
the normal retainer for a decent divorce lawyer these days will purchase you 4 or 5 brand new Venti shotguns at msrp. and thats what you can expect to pay if nothing is contested.

as a side note you really really need tohave more then one key that unlocks the only means of self defense in the house. keys dissapear very very quickly, and in the home you describe dont be surprised if the "baby" climbs out of the play pen, crawls up 3 flights of stairs and throws it out while you take a shower. mommies, er babies, who hate guns do things like that.

most women tend to do their best to make the husband or boyfriend get rid of his personal belongings when a kid comes intot he picture. its an attempt to ensure the man has no "need" to keep any portion of his paycheck or life savings for himself, as no hobbies equals no "need" for said cash.
your really stuck in a tight spot until you can get your wife to go beyond "cuz of the baby' in regards to her fear of weapons.
 
My Girlfriend of nearly 2 years and her whole family are ardently anti-gun. Her father is a mayor who happens to be a lawyer who testified to get certain guns banned. Its tough. She knows I love her, but I won't compromise who I am and what I believe in to be with her. If she wants that, I've always made it clear to her she needs to find someone else.

In the end, its not about guns- its about respecting a person and their beliefs. Ironically we only clash on the gun issue- nothing about the fact I'm christian and she's jewish, or we live in different states, or have different political leanings.

You have to decide if this is a gun, talk it out- but be aware that this could be part of a larger control issue. I hope things work out well for you two.
 
Well, there are about a million and one threads relating to this subject (I'd recommend a search), and the body of evidence is pretty one sided.

Communication and compromise are key to a relationship. (Compromise, for the pupose of this discussion, does not mean "you will not own or carry a gun for the next 18 years, until my/our baby is grown and gone".)

Unreasonable/irrational expectations or demands will kill any relationship. Slowly or quickly, it's only a matter of time.

You have your work cut out for you. I wish you well, but I have seen this spin out any number of times, and the odds are seriously not in your favor.

As far as that Magna-Trigger goes, you have to be kidding. Snake oil, gimmickry, crap with a capital C.
 
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Wow what a dilema . When my wife and I met 15yrs ago I had a really nice collection of assault and tatical weapons . She knows that is what I like and I am not going to change my ways . She enjoys shooting a little and has a couple of guns . We have a more traditional marriage than most couples . She has her say in things , however she looks to me to wear the pants in the relationship . (until the lights go out gigitty gigitty)
You really should look into if you guys are compatable or not . A relationship of convenience probably will be short lived . A fear of guns is not rational behavior .

Just a short story for you : A really good friend of mine lived with his girlfriend for almost 20 yrs before they got married . They got married and all hell broke loose . They lasted 2yrs married and then it was over .
 
Wow, I think some of you people are a bit overly-pessimistic about being involved with "antis". My wife for example does not like guns. I didn't find this out until we had been married over a year though. I found out when I purchased my first handgun. My wife doesn't like that I want more guns but she will tolerate it. She doesn't like me carrying concealed, and is absolutely against me carrying while at home. I love her dearly though and would not even consider leaving her over those couple minor issues. I really hope I can get her to come around eventually, though I am not holding my breath. And if she never does come around so be it, I am not going to divorce her over it.
 
If my wife didn't hate politics as much as she hates guns, she would have joined the Brady Bunch long ago. That said, we didn't base our marriage on guns, much less any other material possessions, so we're still going strong after 10 years.
 
I guess I need good hiding places Or to buy a house where I can have my man cave...
Click to expand...

This is not the solution, because you haven't truly recognized the problem.

(hint: it has nothing to do with guns)
 
My wife wasn't raised around guns and never had been around them.
After seeing me handle them and shoot them she said it made her feel much safer with a handgun under the matress at my easy access.
 
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