OP:
My big advantage is that I own the house.
Armed Bear:
You won't if you get married. You REALLY won't if you get divorced.
I got news for you, ChefKristain. Since you live in Texas, if you've represented yourselves as being married, even just once, you may have much less "advantage" than you think you do.
Q: What makes a common law marriage?
A: Three elements must be present to form a common law marriage in Texas.
- First, you must have "agreed to be married." (Your word against hers. Guess who wins.)
- Second, you must have "held yourselves out" as husband and wife. You must have represented to others that you were married to each other. As an example of this, you may have introduced you partner socially as "my husband," or you may have filed a joint income tax return. (Bet you've done it at least once. Bet she remembers EXACTLY when and where it was.)
- Third, you must have lived together in this state as husband and wife. (From the thread opener: "... my long-time girlfriend (we are basically married) and I...")
Q: Do we have to hold ourselves out to the world consistently as husband and wife in order to be in a common law marriage?
A: No. Even one instance of publicly declaring yourself married can be sufficient to place you in such a marriage.
Q: How can I get out of a common law marriage?
A: Common law marriage may end in two ways. If there have been children or if property and debts remain undivided, you will want to seek a formal divorce. In a divorce, paternity, custody, support, and visitation can be determined, and debts and community property can be divided.
Under a new provision of the Family Code, either partner in a common law marriage has two years after you split up to file an action to prove that the marriage did exist. In order to fit into this provision, you must have separated after September 1, 1989.
Both partners in a common law marriage are responsible for debts and for care and support of children of the marriage. It is therefore urgent that you discuss the ending of this marriage with an attorney. You have a choice of methods, but they all require you to act within a certain length of time. However, even if the time has expired for you to obtain a divorce, other steps can be taken to get orders for payment of child support and visitation for children of the marriage.
My advice is to do everything you can to educate your gal and try to bring her around. There is plenty of data and anecdotal evidence available. Anybody who has the capability for rational thought and intellectual honesty will eventually come around. In the long run, even if you just throw out the implications on you child's future by having Mom and Dad go there separate ways; even if you think it would be easier to just pull the eject handle; even if you get to the point where your annoyance overrides your attraction to her... It'll be cheaper to keep her.