Back to dating. what to do about CCW?

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Bobarino

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well, i just got dumped after seven years together. (the day after my 30th birthday too) reasons are many and unimportant to this discussion but needless to say, it wasn't my choice. i got kicked to the curb like yesterday's trash. after my mourning period, i realized that i'll actually have to go on dates and that type of thing again. i thought i was all done with that nonsense for good. the ex-SO knew i carried and liked the fact. but new girls, well, who know?

i carry where legal to do so so that means if i go into a bar or something i'll have to disarm. i have my doubts that it would go over real well if i say," 'scuse me while i whip this out." and stow in the glove box. or if we find ourselves dancin and she puts her hand on my hip and finds a chunk of metal.

so i'm thinking some options are;

1) take my chances and carry. if she flips, hasta la taco. if not, keeper.

2) leave it at home for the first date and find a way to bring it up casually and express that i enjoy guns and i carry so she's not suprised next time.

3) first date: to the firing range!

4) open to suggestions. got any?

thanks all.

Bobby
 
Meet a single girl at the range! Well if you get that lucky, then your problems would be solved. Other than that take her to the range for the first date.

Leigh
 
I say #1.

I carry 24/7/365 ... its part of who I am ... love it or leave it.

Good way to weed out the blissninnies.
 
I see this as an opportunity to see how good your method of ccw is working.

Aside from that, control the date so you do not go anywhere that dictates removal of your handgun.
 
Well... carry on an ankle holster. If you can't carry where you're going, make like you're tying your shoe and shove it under the seat. Heard good things about the Alessi and Null ankle holsters.
 
i would certainly make it known at the proper time but i don't want to just go about telling everyone i meet that i carry. i try to keep it on a need-to-know basis. if i go out on just one date with a lady and thats it, she doesn't need to know. i'm trying to avoid the very uncomfortable situation of her discovering it and blerting out something like "OH MY GOD, IS THAT A GUN?" in a crowded and/or quiet setting. i've had that happen before and its most unpleasant.

Bobby
 
Take the girl to the range. If she can't handle a gun, dump her. If a person couldn't be trusted with a firearm, would you really trust them to be your (future) wife or mother to your children?

Honestly, there's NO reason to be scared of guns. It might not be the first thing you want to come out of your mouth when you meet her:

"Hi I'm Betty!"
"Hi Betty, I own guns and I'm carrying one right now"

But, you wil find that after a short period of time, most people can grow to love guns. I've dumped girls over the firearms issue. "You're going to get rid of the guns once we get married and have children, right?" Hell no, I'm teaching ALL my children to shoot! If on date two or 3, you can explain your position with tact and not sound like a gunshop commando, you should be good to go.
 
Think Diamonds:D Women have a major thing for diamonds. Just wrap a diamond necklace around each of your guns;)
 
Find a smaller carry piece.

I can't get a permit, so I carry a can of pepper spray. Not as good, but it never draws attention.
 
#1. Be upfront about it; any potential dates will either respect that CCW is a part of who you are, or they'll flip and you can drop them off and tell them to call you when they calm down.
 
I was going to write something typically obnoxious:

"I found guns, pepper spray and hand cuffs were very useful when I was trying to get a date..."

But after this last school shooting, congresscritters and other assorted news items I find my heart is not in it.
 
Well, i'm not actively looking for a future wife. i'm really not even actively looking for dates right now but sooner or later i'll ask a lady out and like you say, "hi, i'm pacikin'" probably isn't the best ice breaker. even if people like guns, they often can't control their vocal outbursts about them when surprised by their presence in public, such as a hug, or bumping into me etc. i'm just looking for ways to avoid that type of situation for a few dates. if i discover along the way that she's an anti or some such, i'll simply bow out gracefully without her knowing that i had a gun on all the while.

remember that many women may feel very threatened if they discover your gun on a first date and they don't know you or your intentions with said gun. and can you blame them? there are a lot of crazies out there praying on women. the last thing i want is a date that was going swimmingly to end with her planting her hands on my gun durring a goodnight kiss and slam the door in my face and call the cops.

Bobby
 
I doubt I would mention on the first date. She's already learning so much that I wouldn't add that into the mix. Even pro-gun chicks might not be real sure on the first date. They don't know you enough to know that your the kind of guy who should be CCWing or if you're the kind we all see at the gunshows where you think, "Okay, well, THAT guy shouldn't be allowed to own firearms (or breed, for that matter)."

I didn't mention my collection on our first date. I mean, come on, how do you say "Oh, and by the way, I have more than 60 long guns and 20 handguns?" So, after several dates and dinners out, I invited her over to my house. After a fine dinner of, um, I forget, I showed her around the house, and introduced the gun room. By that time, she was comfortable enough with me that the ability to arm a WWII Finnish Company was no biggie. Of course, we had discussed many RKBA issues before then, to weed her out if need be.

Ash
 
You need to decide whether accepting guns and CCW from the beginning is a deal-breaker or not. From my experience, there are many more aspect to a relationship than just that. If her current feelings about guns is your number one concern, by all means, get it out there and see what happens. However, I would recommend making a list of what's important to you. How do you feel about looks, career, money habits, religion, lifestyle, kids, politics, goals, etc? This was rhetorical, please don't answer. :)

My wife is from Long Island. Despite the fact I met her in Utah, she had never been around guns and came with the typical east coast anti-gun slant. She didn't know any better. Had I mentioned it on the first date, it probably would have ended there. My brother's wife is the same way. From the east coast (PA) as well, she also didn't understand what was going with all the guns around here. Likewise, had my brother pointed out he carried and enjoyed shooting on the first date, I don't think she would have seen him again.

You might be asking, "So what, Jorg?" Well, here we have two women who were both raised to dislike gun and think that gun control was a good thing. My wife still doesn't like guns. She doesn't enjoy them at all. They don't interest her one bit. But she doesn't mind me having them. My brother has not only taught his wife to shoot and to look into getting a CCW permit, but she's about to go on her first elk hunt.

You may find your dream girl just needs a little nudge in the right direction.

---

I would advise against telling anyone telling anyone you don't know well that you carry a gun. Frankly, there are some crazy people out there, and you might just date one. The last thing you want some girl to declare is that she felt threatened by your gun, especially if she turns out to be of the unstable nature that would try to disrupt your life.

Take your time and see what happens. Go with your gut.
 
thanks Ash. thats good stuff. i definately don't look the part of the gunshow commando. picture your typical Seattle urbanite and that's pretty close to me. i am WAY far away from gunshop commando. i really don't even like going to them most of the time and when i do, its just head down, mouth shut, buy what i need and out the door. even though i'd like to stay and browse, after about 15-20 minnutes in most gun stores i want to shove a 12 ga cleaning rod into my ears until my eardrums rupture so i don't have to hear the verbal vomit that runs rampant in most shops. most people that i meet are suprised to learn that i own guns. i'm often told i "don't dook like a gun owner".


i'd really rather not go unarmed. i can count on one hand the days i've gone unarmed in the last 8 years. i'd be more uncomfortable without it than with it.

Bobby
 
I was going to go with #1, but then I put myself in my father role. If some young man came to pick up my daughter for a first date, and was carrying, I'd be a might cautious about said first date. Of course, I'd be hoping my daughter had her own, and was carrying...
 
Not as many women are as freaked out by guns as you might think, but you might not want to carry on your first date. Or carry somewhere where she won't run into it. I wouldn't take her to the range on the first date, either.

At some point in the conversation, she will probably ask about your hobbies and interests. You might list target shooting as one of your passtimes. Observe her reaction. If she doesn't go wide-eyed on you, ask her if she'd like to try her hand at the range, sometime. This way, you're already lining up the second date, and it's not as akward as the usual end of the evening stammering. If she does freak out, and you can't appeal to her sense of reason, don't ask her out again. Plenty of fish in the sea, believe me.

I wouldn't worry too much. You'll do fine. :cool:
 
thanks Jorg. i hear what you're sayin'.

as for dads, well, i'm 30. if i date a girl that still lives at home with mom and pop, well, i'd probably go to jail. i think i'll try to stick to women that are out of the nest and on their own. :)

Bobby
 
as for dads, well, i'm 30. if i date a girl that still lives at home with mom and pop, well, i'd probably go to jail. i think i'll try to stick to women that are out of the nest and on their own.
Click to expand...

Well, I'm hoping they're out of the nest by then, but you never know. I do know they'll be armed themselves by then, though.
 
Sorry about your break up, sir. I have only two things to add to your thread.

1) Don't look for your next girlfriend in a bar. Bars are sleaze magnets.

2) Don't date any woman who wouldn't allow you to protect her, and your children (in the future of course) to the best of your ability.
 
Think Diamonds Women have a major thing for diamonds. Just wrap a diamond necklace around each of your guns
Click to expand...

When I told my girlfriend that she should get a pistol, her response was "if it's jewel-encrusted and if you clean it for me."
 
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