Concealed carry and the anti-gun wife
- Thread starter Curare
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dasmi
Member
If I ever gave my ladyfriend the backhand, I don't think I'd wake up the following morning.
my wife was very against me getting my first pistol. but i put my foot down and picked her up to go get it with me anyways. i told her to give me a month to show her i can be responsible. ever since then, i've bought/sold/traded a gun every month. she even goes to the shooting range with me and reminds me to carry when we go out. so wonderful. she even rubs my feet at night.
target1911
Member
WOW. I must see how this plays out.
I will agree wit 2 things here
FIRST being that I too think it has some to do with controle issues.
Second being...
I will agree wit 2 things here
FIRST being that I too think it has some to do with controle issues.
Second being...
People are also afraid of what they don't understand. Your wife's lack of experience with guns is the root of her negativity toward guns.
Perhaps if you show your wife that there are other uses for guns besides self defense, she'll lighten up about CCW.
Compromise with your wife by having the two of you join a trap league. She will see that the competition is fun. Even let her win a few rounds.
BridgeWalker
Member
Y'know, considering how he's described his wife, I strongly suspect that if he can convince her to shoot some trap, she would be *incredibly* insulted at being allowed to win a few.
And rightly so. Considering the op seems more focused on other disciplnes, there's a strong chance his wife would quickly become more skilled than him at trapshooting.
Yeah, that's a good plan. So many women in trap, many of them successful, powerful women. Easy to learn, difficult to master. Guns highly adapted to the game so as to virtually useless for any effective violence. Probably start with a BT-99, a nice entry-level trap gun, single-shot to emphasis the non-violent nature of the gam. Lot of people who are focused on self-defense and other shooting disciplines but also lots of people who are very focused on clay sports alone and have no use for other guns. Nice point of entry for someone like the OP's wife.
Imho of course, being pretty interested in trap myself. The trouble seems to be getting her to go though.
Constantine-p89
Member
+1 GrizFire
A little OT, but this really bugged me...
How do people like this expect to keep the deer population managed?
Does she want huge numbers of deer dying a slow death of starvation?
By taking over the natural predator's habitats we have thrown off the balance that was meant to exist. Everyone who lives in modern society is to blame for the suffering of overpopulated wildlife. And anyone who is against reasonable conservation-based hunting is doubly responsible.
Some people don't want to be responsible for killing "Bambi", but don't realize that by humanly killing some deer, your are preventing all of them from suffering.
delta9 said:
Good point. We need to brain storm here. Hmmmm? Hey OP, does your wife have any friends that are more enthusiastic about guns? Perhaps you could ask her friends if they would like to join the trap team, this way your wife would be more inclined to give it a try.
BridgeWalker
Member
It's just like golf, really, but without the heavy fertilizing so destructive to the environment. (That one has worked on some *seriously* anti-gun friends. Turns out all they hate more than guns is golf.)
Ignition Override
Member
My only two guns are rifles. I have read only a few remarks up there, but people usually wonder something such as "Will he/she be safe and level-headed about this, in all situations?" "Is there a secret motivation here?"
It also surprised my wife and parents that I suddenly became interested in shooting after almost none since '83 (I hate paper targets, found a good outdoors spot and can shoot anything I throw in the water! A patrol Deputy mentioned that the area-with no ricochets-should be ok..) and almost overnight bought a brand-new M-1 carbine.
When my son was very young, I was never interested in a handgun anyway, but I was well aware that young boys have quite an ability to observe, listen and figure out where the gun and the ammo is. A next-door neighbor (age 10?) once showed me his father's revolver (his Dad was out) when I was about nine and my father was quite interested in this! The paradox for me was that instant protection and access would or could easily = danger for my son, but maybe I was wrong. I can speak for nobody else.
My wife would also be a bit concerned if I suddenly wanted to buy a handgun...carry permit or not. She is pretty level-headed about my new rifle hobby despite my clear enthusiasm for guns and a few other topics. The only potential problem is the cost of ammo for the carbine (both the carbine, .22 and all ammo are kept in a very high place).
Maybe a female friend of your wife can gently...very calmly... with careful, deliberate forethought and planning persuade her (in the right positive setting and time) to go with you for a one-time class on handgun safety, and/or show her the attractive female shooters at a local range. This last option WILL keep her attention-after hearing that a guy is going to the range, women's ears would then go up like F-105 'Wild Weasel crews' "trolling for SAMs" in 1972 near the Paul Doumer Bridge. Too bad that "H. Jane" was not then at an SA-2 radar site. The POWs would not have been better off.
A friend got his carry permit not long ago (.40 Walther and .45 Colt) and I would be glad to give you his cell-phone number if it would help. Jimmy might also have some helpful thoughts for your wife. Maybe J's wife might also help or send an e-mail. When he is out, his slender, petite wife has a shotgun and can apparently use it. I would never have imagined this. They had us over for T'giving dinner.
Ask whether you want his number and I will request these.
Hang in there.
It also surprised my wife and parents that I suddenly became interested in shooting after almost none since '83 (I hate paper targets, found a good outdoors spot and can shoot anything I throw in the water! A patrol Deputy mentioned that the area-with no ricochets-should be ok..) and almost overnight bought a brand-new M-1 carbine.
When my son was very young, I was never interested in a handgun anyway, but I was well aware that young boys have quite an ability to observe, listen and figure out where the gun and the ammo is. A next-door neighbor (age 10?) once showed me his father's revolver (his Dad was out) when I was about nine and my father was quite interested in this! The paradox for me was that instant protection and access would or could easily = danger for my son, but maybe I was wrong. I can speak for nobody else.
My wife would also be a bit concerned if I suddenly wanted to buy a handgun...carry permit or not. She is pretty level-headed about my new rifle hobby despite my clear enthusiasm for guns and a few other topics. The only potential problem is the cost of ammo for the carbine (both the carbine, .22 and all ammo are kept in a very high place).
Maybe a female friend of your wife can gently...very calmly... with careful, deliberate forethought and planning persuade her (in the right positive setting and time) to go with you for a one-time class on handgun safety, and/or show her the attractive female shooters at a local range. This last option WILL keep her attention-after hearing that a guy is going to the range, women's ears would then go up like F-105 'Wild Weasel crews' "trolling for SAMs" in 1972 near the Paul Doumer Bridge. Too bad that "H. Jane" was not then at an SA-2 radar site. The POWs would not have been better off.
A friend got his carry permit not long ago (.40 Walther and .45 Colt) and I would be glad to give you his cell-phone number if it would help. Jimmy might also have some helpful thoughts for your wife. Maybe J's wife might also help or send an e-mail. When he is out, his slender, petite wife has a shotgun and can apparently use it. I would never have imagined this. They had us over for T'giving dinner.
Ask whether you want his number and I will request these.
Hang in there.
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I have a few thoughts for you Iggy:
1. Shooting at or into water is bad joo joo. I don't care what any game official tells you. Rounds WILL ricochet. Not if, but when. Are you willing to risk the safety of everything and every one around for 1 to 1.5 miles that a stray round will never hit them?
2. Hiding guns and ammo is what leads 10 year olds to go looking for their Dad's guns. With proper training - you did mention proper training, right - the children MUST be taught that this is not a toy. This must never, ever be looked for or played with. If you want to see it... ask me. Your children would never take your car out for a drive would they?
Ever seen 10 year olds mowing the lawn? Sure. Mom's don't freak out over that because they know that the boys have been taught how dangerous they are and to be careful. The same can be done and should be done with firearms.
3. Hiding ammo in a high place is not securing it. All firearms and all ammunition should be secured in the homes/presence of children. Secured means locked up in a container that they cannot get into and they cannot move. Want to see it? Ask me, then I will gladly show you. Don't ask me and I catch you poking around.... SEVERE punishment will ensue because you I have taught you how dangerous they are... they are not toys.
All of this training should make the little woman a whole lot more comfortable as well. You can get all sorts of good information on this subject from the NRA Eddie the Eagle training programs.
1. Shooting at or into water is bad joo joo. I don't care what any game official tells you. Rounds WILL ricochet. Not if, but when. Are you willing to risk the safety of everything and every one around for 1 to 1.5 miles that a stray round will never hit them?
2. Hiding guns and ammo is what leads 10 year olds to go looking for their Dad's guns. With proper training - you did mention proper training, right - the children MUST be taught that this is not a toy. This must never, ever be looked for or played with. If you want to see it... ask me. Your children would never take your car out for a drive would they?
Ever seen 10 year olds mowing the lawn? Sure. Mom's don't freak out over that because they know that the boys have been taught how dangerous they are and to be careful. The same can be done and should be done with firearms.
3. Hiding ammo in a high place is not securing it. All firearms and all ammunition should be secured in the homes/presence of children. Secured means locked up in a container that they cannot get into and they cannot move. Want to see it? Ask me, then I will gladly show you. Don't ask me and I catch you poking around.... SEVERE punishment will ensue because you I have taught you how dangerous they are... they are not toys.
All of this training should make the little woman a whole lot more comfortable as well. You can get all sorts of good information on this subject from the NRA Eddie the Eagle training programs.
BridgeWalker
Member
See, I can handle these "little woman" comments pretty well, mostly because I actually *like* guns and will put up with a lot of bs because I like to be around guns and gun talk. Also, because I haven't run into that sort of thing at my range, yet.
But while you guys are wondering why it is so hard to get a strong, sophiscated, modern woman into the shooting scene, you really oughta realize that using phrases like "the little woman" has an awful lot to do with it. It is incredibly offensive.
Just some advice from a woman.
Really? I honestly had no idea. I often use that phrase because in today's world, it is not always the case that couples are married. Spouse, SO and other phrases are useful... but I really hadn't thought of TLW being insulting.
Thank you for your insight
Thank you for your insight
BridgeWalker
Member
Significant other is imho the best way out of that sticky situation. Also, many/most couple living together don't, ime, take offense at being referred to as husband and wife in conversation. That's probably not the best rule to go by. It is however far, far less offensive than tlw.
"The little woman" is a diminutive. It feels about as good to me as being called a boy or a little man would feel to you. Except that no one would question your righteous indignation, whereas people would accuse a woman of being a bitch if she spoke up against it.
I'm not little. In any way. Not in size, although that is irrelevant. What really matters is that I am not small in terms of my knowledge, my experience, in the worth of my opinions or in the expression of them. Certainly not in my relationship with my husband.
So, yeah. Don't call me little. And that goes for just about any woman.
"The little woman" is a diminutive. It feels about as good to me as being called a boy or a little man would feel to you. Except that no one would question your righteous indignation, whereas people would accuse a woman of being a bitch if she spoke up against it.
I'm not little. In any way. Not in size, although that is irrelevant. What really matters is that I am not small in terms of my knowledge, my experience, in the worth of my opinions or in the expression of them. Certainly not in my relationship with my husband.
So, yeah. Don't call me little. And that goes for just about any woman.
Ignition Override
Member
Markbo:
We have no kid around here anymore and I appreciate your straightforward comments (he is a college student).
If necessary, I will buy some sort of box with a lock on it for the ammo, even though no kids ever come into the house.
Have a buddy from northeast of Austin who is on the Navy Marksmanship Team (M-1 Garand). He can recommend a good box with a solid lock.
We have no kid around here anymore and I appreciate your straightforward comments (he is a college student).
If necessary, I will buy some sort of box with a lock on it for the ammo, even though no kids ever come into the house.
Have a buddy from northeast of Austin who is on the Navy Marksmanship Team (M-1 Garand). He can recommend a good box with a solid lock.
lanternlad1
Member
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My wife is much like yours. She is also an executive (CTO) and has a Ph.D in Chemistry. She doesn't like handguns, but doesn't mind rifles or shotguns. When I first talked of CCW, she "refused" to "allow" handguns in HER house. I did it anyway. She called me paranoid. I ignored it and did my thing anyway. She tried many times to get me to "give up this gun nonsense". I ignored her (on the issue) and did my thing. She mentioned leaving once, I showed her where the door was. (She stopped taking that tack right quick after that.) Once she got used to the idea of handguns in the house, I insisted she get herself one and learn how to use it. She called me "borderline abusive" for trying to force her to get a handgun. I pointed out that abusers don't usually try to arm their intended victims.
She got the handgun "to shut me up".
And was glad she did when a psycho tried to get into her car at a stop sign. She didn't fire it, the laser was enough to scare him off.
She's a believer now. Still doesn't like handguns, but accepts the necessity. Point out the those who hurt themselves with handguns are usually not trained in their use.
I agree with the poster who said this is about power. The gun gives you an advantage over her (in her mind). Even the odds, and insist she get one and learn how to use it. Take the fight to her, so to speak. Empower her to protect her own life, and not have to rely on you. I bet if you use this approach, she'll see things differently.
She got the handgun "to shut me up".
And was glad she did when a psycho tried to get into her car at a stop sign. She didn't fire it, the laser was enough to scare him off.
She's a believer now. Still doesn't like handguns, but accepts the necessity. Point out the those who hurt themselves with handguns are usually not trained in their use.
I agree with the poster who said this is about power. The gun gives you an advantage over her (in her mind). Even the odds, and insist she get one and learn how to use it. Take the fight to her, so to speak. Empower her to protect her own life, and not have to rely on you. I bet if you use this approach, she'll see things differently.
Sniper X
Member
OK, my input is, she is quoting statements, or derogatory slurs right out of the libby playbook. You don't need to worry about her being right of course, because she isn't. The current pyschie of Americans and guns is split about 70 30 from what I gather. There are the 30 percent of those who think exactly like your wifee, and those 70 odd percent who think like you, that it is perfectly sane, and actually a good idea to be trained, and carry a firearm for your personal protechtion.
Of course I am in the top of that 70percentile!
I deal with those who make sayings like that by quitely saying you can choose what you want, to not carry a self defense weapon, and I can choose what I want, TO carry a self defense weapon. That is what America is all about, freedom of choice, do you not agree with or beleive in freedom of chopice? If she says no, not to guns, then tell her there are others who don't agree with freedoom of choice of women to vote or for women to have the right to choose, or for women to make any of their own decisions. Then tell her there are hundreds of women who protect themselves from rape and being murdered with their personal CCW weapon every year that she doesn't hear about from those telling her guns are bad.
Of course I am in the top of that 70percentile!
I deal with those who make sayings like that by quitely saying you can choose what you want, to not carry a self defense weapon, and I can choose what I want, TO carry a self defense weapon. That is what America is all about, freedom of choice, do you not agree with or beleive in freedom of chopice? If she says no, not to guns, then tell her there are others who don't agree with freedoom of choice of women to vote or for women to have the right to choose, or for women to make any of their own decisions. Then tell her there are hundreds of women who protect themselves from rape and being murdered with their personal CCW weapon every year that she doesn't hear about from those telling her guns are bad.
BuntlineSpecial
Member
- Joined
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Curare, it sounds like you have your hands full, and I sympathise. For the most part it would be difficult, or counterproductive for me to offer advise, you know best your own situation. My wife (of six years, and two kids) is a former MP, college educated and still "has her moments" when ... shall we say she channels Oprah. As previously noted, facts do not trump emotion. And when the names, like "mentally ill" start flying, it is hard to stay to the High Road, but stick to it.
The fact that I have "protection" along with me most of the time has nothing to do with the circles permanatly engraved in my old college wallets. It was like that when we met, was a constant factor in our courtship. When we started getting serious, I showed her the contents of my safe and asked if she could "Deal with this", as it was not about to change.
We discussed the reality of the sitation, that "I go or the guns go" had only one conclusion (Not that it has not been uttered when emotions/hormones are high), came to agreeable terms and for the most part, this has worked out well.
Speaking as a former (still dabbling) LEO, I applaud your wish to CCW, especially in the light of the events in Omaha. Getting the responsible citizens aware and involved may be the last hope we have as a nation vis-a-vis the domestic problems we face.
Hold your ground, but listen attentively to her concerns. This is most likely a power issue to her, as has been said. Explain your desire to keep her and yourself safe, establish were the weapon will be kept when you are not wearing it (those four-finger push button lockers are great, and inexpensive).
Speaking as a fellow buckeye, PM me, if you wish. if we are local, let's hit the range together.
The fact that I have "protection" along with me most of the time has nothing to do with the circles permanatly engraved in my old college wallets. It was like that when we met, was a constant factor in our courtship. When we started getting serious, I showed her the contents of my safe and asked if she could "Deal with this", as it was not about to change.
We discussed the reality of the sitation, that "I go or the guns go" had only one conclusion (Not that it has not been uttered when emotions/hormones are high), came to agreeable terms and for the most part, this has worked out well.
Speaking as a former (still dabbling) LEO, I applaud your wish to CCW, especially in the light of the events in Omaha. Getting the responsible citizens aware and involved may be the last hope we have as a nation vis-a-vis the domestic problems we face.
Hold your ground, but listen attentively to her concerns. This is most likely a power issue to her, as has been said. Explain your desire to keep her and yourself safe, establish were the weapon will be kept when you are not wearing it (those four-finger push button lockers are great, and inexpensive).
Speaking as a fellow buckeye, PM me, if you wish. if we are local, let's hit the range together.
dasmi
Member
Good deal.
My girlfriend not only supports it, she thinks it's sexy
My girlfriend not only supports it, she thinks it's sexy
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