Funniest comebacks for antis?

[TheArchDuke]

I was talkign to someone on a different forum about guns and some random guy pops in and says "I hate guns".

So I quoted Freud. "A fear of weapons is a sign of retarded sexual and emotional maturity."

To which he replied "I didn't say I was afraid of them."

So I quoted Yoda. "...fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate..."


Haha I know you guys can do better than that.

What are some funny comebacks you have either heard, used, or have been practicing in the mirror for that perfect moment?

 

[Fosbery]

If he's not afraid of them, isn't your quote irrelevent?

 

[the naked prophet]

If he's not afraid of them, isn't your quote irrelevent?

"...fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate..."

I hate guns.

 

[kfranz]

"I hate guns"

reply

"So what"

 

[MatthewVanitas]

I use this one all the time at UT, when out recruiting for the shooting club. It's been an interesting reply to the small number of students who respond negatively to our pitch with "We don't like guns" or such:

"You really need to look beyond your prejudices and broaden your horizons. It's hard to expand your conciousness in college if you close yourself to new experiences. Come give it a try, and then you can debate from an informed position."

Nobody has come up with a good comeback to that yet, aside from stomping off, saying "Nuh-uh!", or agreeing that they need to come to the range.

-MV

 

[tuckerdog1]

Matthew,

You do good work. It helps us all.

Thanks,
Tuckerdog1

 

[Rumble]

"Oh, no, my husband and I don't believe in guns!"

"Ma'am, I assure you, they exist."

 

[Manedwolf]

I suggest that if they ever call the police, that they insist that they don't bring any.

 

[Cromlech]

As much as quoting Freud would be in support of your view at this time, he isn't the ideal to choice of person to be quoting.

This quote from another forum sums it up:

Hmm... What would Freud say?

He'd go: "Gimme a second while I snort up this heaping pile of cocaine, then we can talk about penises and your mother."

 

[TheArchDuke]

Well yeah, I give Freud as much credit as Yoda....actually Yoda has BETTER advice most of the time. I just thought it was funny.

 

[Cromlech]

Well, it is a rather stinging quote, so it is a fun one to use.

 

[hso]

"WOW! You must have one of those new telephones that the police or fireman or paramedic pops out of when you dial 911! A buddy of mine was on hold to 911 for 5 minutes before they even answered and even then the police showed up in an old-fashioned car 15 minutes later."

 

[mljdeckard]

No, that's not a gun I'm carrying. I'm just happy to see you.

 

[Pilgrim]

"I believe only the police and military should have guns."

"If that ever comes to pass they will be able to make you do all kinds of unpleasant things."

 

[whatbrick]

Some typical responses:

Them: "I hate guns!"

Me: "But they love you so much!"

Them: "Why do you even need a gun?"

Me(said with serious expression): "How else am I supposed to fight off the zombies?"

"zombies" can be subsituted with one of the following for variety: aliens, gremlins, pink elephants, hippies, raging bands of Celine Dion fans, etc.

Them: "I think you're just trying to compensate for other things."

Me (if female): "Would you like to test that theory?"

Me (if male): "Exactly, such as society's inability to keep me safe from harm."

 

[Josh Aston]

A boy scout leader was taking his troop to the shooting range, but before going he stopped by the local radio station for an interview.

Female DJ: So Mr. Brown, what do you have planned for the boy scouts today?

Boy Scout Leader: We're going to be going to the firing range, where we'll be teaching them to shoot.

FDJ: But isn't that dangerous?

BSL: Oh no, they'll be closely supervised. I've ensured each of the boys has hearing and eye protection, and we'll be using single shot .22 rifles.

FDJ: But aren't you equipping them to be murderers?

BSL: Excuse me?

FDJ: Well you're teaching them how to shoot. You're giving them the tools to be murderers.

BSL: Well ma'am, you're equipped with the tools to be a prostitute, doesn't mean you are.

 

[Mr. James]

Me (if female): "Would you like to test that theory?"

Me (if male): "Exactly, such as society's inability to keep me safe from harm."

Methinks the (if female) response would have its intended effect on either sex!

 

[Zero_DgZ]

Josh Aston: I've heard that tale before, and they way I heard it the interviewer was Terry Gross from NPR! She later admitted that she was specifically instructed to try to raise that point during the interview.

 

[kfranz]

A boy scout leader was taking his troop to the shooting range, but before going he stopped by the local radio station for an interview.

Female DJ: So Mr. Brown, what do you have planned for the boy scouts today?

Boy Scout Leader: We're going to be going to the firing range, where we'll be teaching them to shoot.

FDJ: But isn't that dangerous?

BSL: Oh no, they'll be closely supervised. I've ensured each of the boys has hearing and eye protection, and we'll be using single shot .22 rifles.

FDJ: But aren't you equipping them to be murderers?

BSL: Excuse me?

FDJ: Well you're teaching them how to shoot. You're giving them the tools to be murderers.

BSL: Well ma'am, you're equipped with the tools to be a prostitute, doesn't mean you are.

Never happened

 

[Josh Aston]

I've heard the story attributed to a couple of different people. And I don't care if it never happened, its a funny story. Whether the actual occurence is true or not, the moral still holds true.

 

[Thefabulousfink]

Them: I don't like guns!

Me: Well I don't like you, but the difference between us is: you are trying to get rid of my gun, but I am not trying to get rid of you, even though I have the means [Pats hip].

 

[carterbeauford]

"Oh, no, my husband and I don't believe in guns!"

"Ma'am, I assure you, they exist."

Haha, that's the best one yet.

Someone at PDO (maybe someone here too) has this in their sig:

"Why a gun? Because I can't throw rocks at 1300 FPS"

 

[whatbrick]

Methinks the (if female) response would have its intended effect on either sex!

Yeah, but I don't want to have to deal with the guy saying "Sure!"

Another one:

Them: "You know there's a greater chance of having your gun taken away and used on you!"

Me: "Where do you think I got this one?"

 

[TheArchDuke]

Them: "You know there's a greater chance of having your gun taken away and used on you!"

Me: "Where do you think I got this one?"

Haha funny!

But I would have said, "That's why I've got a back up"
*Open other side of jacket to reveal an even bigger gun*

 

[Deanimator]

I have a few good ones.

Ninny: "We need gun control!"
Me: "Gun control is the theory that 110lb. women have the 'right' to fistfight with 210lb. rapists."

Ninny: "Women don't need guns to defend themselves. They can use the martial arts."
Me: "Xena, Warrior Princess isn't a documentary."

Ninny: "Women shouldn't have guns, they'll just have them taken away by an attacker!"
Me: "If a woman doesn't need a gun to protect herself and can use the martial arts instead, how can somebody take her gun away in the first place?"

English Ninny: "Women shouldn't have guns! They'll 'mistake' innocent men for rapists and shoot them!"
Me: "How is it that you treat women that you believe that you'll be 'mistaken' for a rapist? Put down that butcher knife, pull up your pants, and you should be just fine."

Right after Columbine,
Male Starbucks Cashier: "Boy, it sure takes a lot of guts to wear that NRA hat these days!"
Me: "Who's going to make me take it off?"

Pro-abortion Anti-gunner: "You can't defend yourself with a gun!"
Me: "If Dr. Gunn (an abortionist murdered by an anti-abortionist) had had a gun, he wouldn't have had to try to run away from his murderer while wearing leg braces."