Funniest comebacks for antis?

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Ah, This one's from highschool -bit immature, but it was from highschool :)

Mairi: is there anything I can say that will make you change your position on gun control?
Spiggy: ?
Mairi: like "I'm from Glasgow and I can beat you up?"
Spiggy: I own a gun
Spiggy: see! the system works!
 
anti-gunner: Civilians don't need firearms
My wiseass answer: I have 5 words for you "Katrina, Los Angeles and Auschwitz."

anti-gunner: "that's an extreme and silly argument"
My wiseass response: "two of the 3 happened in the last decade and the unarmed were victims of criminals who didn't care if their weapons were illegal. in 2 of the 3 cases the courts said the police don't have to give a damn about your safety, and in the 3rd the police helped commit the crime."
 
i hate the ol' 'but you have a better chance of having it taken away and used on you!' or when people say 'guns in the home increase the chance of children getting shot!'

i can't get shot with my own gun if i dont own one.

nor can a child shoot themselves with their dad's /mom's gun if they don't own one


its circular logic. i can't slap myself in the face if i don't have arms either, but you don't see me trying to find someone to saw them off. and even if i did have my arms removed, i could still be slapped in the face.


i tell people its like having a car jack and a spare tire. your planning for an eventuality that you regret happening, but you accept it as a necessity for your safety.
 
Her: I don't think people should be allowed to carry guns.

Me: I bet every rapist in the country agrees with you.
 
i tell people its like having a car jack and a spare tire. your planning for an eventuality that you regret happening, but you accept it as a necessity for your safety.
Click to expand...

I also reference a car but I compare guns to the seatbelt of the car. It works especially well when someone comes up with the "why are you so paranoid that someone is going to attack you" line. I simply say, "Carrying a gun(or owning one) is like wearing a seatbelt in the car. I do not expect to crash the car but I know there is a chance that someone might crash into me. My gun is my seatbelt. I don't expect to be attacked but if I am I will have the protection I need."
 
These are not funny, just true...

"I hate guns."
"I despise ignorance. Your point is?"

"Guns are only made to Kill."
"Or to defend a person from a killer."

"All guns should be outlawed."
"Then only outlaws will have guns and they'll use them against unarmed citizens, like you."

"Only the military and police should have guns."
"See any policemen or soldiers nearby?" OR
"That worked so well in Europe back in the 30's didn't it?"

"I'll never own or touch a gun."
"Why don't you post a sign that says just that outside your front door?"

"I depend on the Police to keep me safe."
"Foolish child." OR
"You probably don't remember the Rodney King riots in LA then, right?" OR
"You've been lucky so far, eh?"
 
"You know there's a greater chance of having your gun taken away and used on you!"

this one makes me laugh. I always say 'Well if he can take it away from me so easily before I can use it, I'll just take it right back before he can use it. Hell, we can stand there passing it back and forth until the cows come home or the police show up, and believe me, the first black and white we'll see will be a holstien'

if they try to say how hard it is to take it away, I ask why? if it so hard why couldn't I keep it, is this a supercriminal, like in comic books? well then I damned well for sure want a gun, maybe 2, so after he takes the first one I can still shoot him
 
THEM: Why do you own a gun?

ME: Because I don't think giving a rapist a free go at my wife and daughters is a good idea.

OR

THEM (man): I don't think people should have guns!

ME: Why? You planning on raping my wife?

THEM: No!

ME: Then why do you need her to be helpless?

THEM: Uhhh...
 
I like the one that one of our members (Tess) at opencarry.org came up with when asked "why do you carry a gun?"

Her reply? "Because I can't carry a cop!"
 
Million Mom: Guns cause crime.
Me: And spoons made Rosie O'Donnel fat.
Million Mom: You are 42% more likely to die in an attack if you have a gun.
Me: And that's why we need gun control, because an armed person has a distinct DISadvantage.
Million Mom: I bet you feel real tough because you carry a gun.
Me: Yes, but I still wouldn't want to be between you and a buffet.
 
Them: Why do you need a gun?
Me: Break into my house at 3am and find out

Female: Real men don't need guns.
Me: I knew you were a transvestite!

Them: Who needs more than 10 rounds?
Me: Who needs to throw more than 10 punches during a fistfight?

Female: You must be compensating for something...
Me: No, I assure you, my barrel is not ported.

Them: Why does a classical musician need a gun?
Me: Why do people need classical music... because it's good for them!
 
Recently, when talking about the rash of murders and homicides in the Twin Cities, someone told me ("jokingly"): Must be all those crazy NRA people! My response: Careful, I haven't met my quota yet. ;)
 
From this article

"Texas Ranger Charlie Miller was minding his own business when a concerned citizen came up to him, noted the hammer cocked back on the big 1911 dangling from the Ranger's belt, and asked, "Isn't that dangerous?" Charlie replied, "I wouldn't carry the son-of-a-bitch if it wasn't dangerous."
 
"Why do you carry a gun?"
"If I told you that, I'd have to kill you."

"You're more likely to shoot yourself..."
"Only stupid gringos shoot themselves."
(this always makes people look funny. It's a blond guy of average height raving about 'stupid gringos')

"Why do you carry a gun? Are you some sort of psycho?"
"Why do you carry a backpack? Are you a suicide bomber?"

"People with guns are compensating..."
"Actually, I prefer suppressors."
 
"You know there's a greater chance of having your gun taken away and used on you!"

Taken from someone on this forum, sorry, don't remember the handle.

They'll have to beat me with it because by the time they get it it's going to be empty!
 
snappy comebacks.

Not pithy or short, but when afronted by an anti who won't learn any other way, I tell them about sitting through a rape trial many years ago of a fellow college student.

She was 19, 105 lbs, from a rural background, first time away from home. 2:30 am, alone in cheap apartment.

He was going to school on a football scholarship, 250 lbs plus, on cocaine (one of the first times I'd heard of the drug, way back when) and carrying a 32 revolver with one round, which he showed her and said he'd kill her with if she said a word.

He raped and sodomized her for over an hour. Then he laughed and went on his merry way.

Then I ask them if they would really like to have told this girl she'd be better off without the family shotgun she kept behind the door the rest of the semester. (Yes, she finished it out. But then dropped out of school. Can you blame her?)

FWIW, the rapist was caught, convicted of 1st Degree Burglary, 1st degree rape, and several drug charges. Sentenced to two consecutive life sentences.

I usually then ask if they can guess how much time 2 consecutive life sentences amounted to.

he pulled 7 years, 42 days in State Prison, and was released. He is out there somewhere, right now.

Sorry it's not a fast comeback, but it has served me well in getting the point across to those who think the real world is like TV.
 
Them: "Why do you think that you need to carry a gun?"

Me: Because I have trouble running over people with my car in the house.;)

Me: Because I keep sticking myself when I use an ice-pick.:evil:

Me: Because my shrink won't let me carry an ax anymore.:D

Me: Because the voices tell me I get to shoot a stupid person every day; wait, they tell me you qualify.:what:

Me: Please take this piece of paper with the little round circles on it, go 20 feet over that way, and hold it up so I can get a good look at it, and I will show you why I carry.:cool:

Me: It's a well reasoned choice by on the part of a well informed rational person. The basis of this choice is; I know how to use these things, have fired over a hundred thousand rounds, and have yet to hurt myself. I have friends that have need and used guns defending themselves against the criminals of the world. There are truly evil people in the world, so until you can place a ban on those people that works, I am compelled to protect myself.
 
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