I have just recently received my Concealed Carry Permit and started carrying. My wife thinks it is ridiculous to carry a gun around. I have been trying to help her see the necessity of carrying. Maybe your more experienced out there can let me how you handled a similar situation or maybe you are a wife, and you can give me some advise so that I can share that with her. Thanks in advance.
Getting the Wife involved
- Thread starter MDMadrid
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Welcome to THR! Pickup a news paper, turn on the radio, watch the evening news that should be plenty of reason for her. Police can not be everywhere all the time and you as a citizen need to take responsibility for you own safety. I'm sure you've used these arguements, but keep trying. In my case it was not an issue. My wife is cool about the CCW thing and is getting her permit as well. Have you taken her shooting? Sometimes that helps.
I explain it like this. I've had a drivers license for 24 years, and never been in an accident, but that doesn't mean I don't have car insurance. I've always had either renters or home owners insurance, even though I've never been burgarlized or had a fire. A sidearm is insurance that you may never need to use, in fact most likely will never use, but when you need it, it's sure nice to have.
I'm lucky I guess, when my wife told a few of her friends that I carry, they all said it was manly and to make sure I keep doing it. I love Texas.
I'm lucky I guess, when my wife told a few of her friends that I carry, they all said it was manly and to make sure I keep doing it. I love Texas.
southlandarms
Member
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- Nov 30, 2005
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My suggestion is treat this like any other issue. DO NOT PUSH HER!
I have been married 10 years. I grew up around guns. I am a dealer in Nashville. My wife did not grow up around guns. As a result she was fearful. She was not a left-wing gun hater or anything, she just had no experience. The door was opened when I started to teach my son gun safety and shooting when he turned five (two years ago). My wife felt motivated to learn as well. She thought it would help her be a more responsible parent.
Today, we have his' and her's Kahr PM9s. I carry mine all the time. She does not carry, even though she has a permit. She does however sleep with the Kahr next to her. It is just a matter of time before she begins carrying on occasion an d eventually I think she will carry often. In her own time. After all, she only shot for the first time a couple of years ago. I am encouraged by her progress up to this point. BTW .... she is pretty darn good with a handgun.
One other thing: If she is not experienced with handguns, do not try to talk her into a .45 auto right or .357 right away. You want to get her started with something with very low felt recoil. I started my wife with a Tomcat .32. I thought this was a good choice because if she never wanted to go larger, I felt this could do the job if she needed. We then went to a Bersa .380 and now she has the Kahr 9mm. The Kahr is small/light and has a lot of felt recoil for a 9mm. She has no desire to try a 40 at this point. OK with me. 9mm is cheap to shot anyway!
Good luck!
I have been married 10 years. I grew up around guns. I am a dealer in Nashville. My wife did not grow up around guns. As a result she was fearful. She was not a left-wing gun hater or anything, she just had no experience. The door was opened when I started to teach my son gun safety and shooting when he turned five (two years ago). My wife felt motivated to learn as well. She thought it would help her be a more responsible parent.
Today, we have his' and her's Kahr PM9s. I carry mine all the time. She does not carry, even though she has a permit. She does however sleep with the Kahr next to her. It is just a matter of time before she begins carrying on occasion an d eventually I think she will carry often. In her own time. After all, she only shot for the first time a couple of years ago. I am encouraged by her progress up to this point. BTW .... she is pretty darn good with a handgun.
One other thing: If she is not experienced with handguns, do not try to talk her into a .45 auto right or .357 right away. You want to get her started with something with very low felt recoil. I started my wife with a Tomcat .32. I thought this was a good choice because if she never wanted to go larger, I felt this could do the job if she needed. We then went to a Bersa .380 and now she has the Kahr 9mm. The Kahr is small/light and has a lot of felt recoil for a 9mm. She has no desire to try a 40 at this point. OK with me. 9mm is cheap to shot anyway!
Good luck!
BozemanMT
Member
Geez, I married good.
I took the wife out shooting, got her completely hooked, after about 5 months, she came in and said "we should go get our CCW"
ok.
That was easy.
I took the wife out shooting, got her completely hooked, after about 5 months, she came in and said "we should go get our CCW"
ok.
That was easy.
stevelyn
Member
Why do you need her permission to carry?
You're an adult. I'm presuming she is too. It's your permit, your gun, your decision.
Her failure to accept it is a control issue and her problem.
You're an adult. I'm presuming she is too. It's your permit, your gun, your decision.
Her failure to accept it is a control issue and her problem.
Start by getting out of the habit of referring to her as "The Wife".
Then read Pax's article" How to Make Your Wife Hate Guns"
http://corneredcat.com/ForMen/HateGuns.htm
Then read Pax's article" How to Make Your Wife Hate Guns"
http://corneredcat.com/ForMen/HateGuns.htm
stiletto raggio
Member
Married the wrong woman...
My wife and I are exchanging pistols as well as rings and vows.
My wife and I are exchanging pistols as well as rings and vows.
What reasons have you given her to carry? My wife seems to fluctuate a lot in her attitude toward my carrying. At times she acts like she doesn't understand why I do, but will often ask me, when leaving for work, "got your gun?" (along with anything else she thinks I'm likely to forget -- cell phone, wallet, and so forth).
I defend my carrying to her like this:
"I carry for the same reason I wear a seat belt, and have life insurance. I hope to God I will never need a seat belt to save my life, but if it ever comes to it, I'll be glad I wore it. I don't have life insurance because I hope, or expect, to die; but if I do, I would hate not to have it for my survivors. I don't expect to ever have to use my gun, and probably never will; but if I ever do need it, I'll be glad I have it, and hope God will carry me through on the basis of my having been prudent enough to be prepared."
There are other reasons, that make some sense to me, but are not as persuasive to others because they involve principles and presuppositions that others may not share. But what wife would not get the seat belt analogy?
I defend my carrying to her like this:
"I carry for the same reason I wear a seat belt, and have life insurance. I hope to God I will never need a seat belt to save my life, but if it ever comes to it, I'll be glad I wore it. I don't have life insurance because I hope, or expect, to die; but if I do, I would hate not to have it for my survivors. I don't expect to ever have to use my gun, and probably never will; but if I ever do need it, I'll be glad I have it, and hope God will carry me through on the basis of my having been prudent enough to be prepared."
There are other reasons, that make some sense to me, but are not as persuasive to others because they involve principles and presuppositions that others may not share. But what wife would not get the seat belt analogy?
Taurus 66
Member
It's on a "need to have" basis. "It is better to have and not need than to need and not have". Guns are instruments of defense much like countries which have nuclear weapons who are consistently on standby. At the end of a day, when generally nothing at a nuclear scale has happened (and that's usually the case), it should be agreed upon peace amongst the nations is in large part attained through strong arms. In other words, it's nice to know you have the weapon(s) needed to defend yourself, and it's nicer yet to just sit on the thought it's there if you ever need it, but hopefully never have to use it.
http://corneredcat.com/TOC/TOC.htm
Ask her to read Pax's site and then see if she has any questions after.
When someone asks about why I carry I say it's best illustrated with some questions.
Do bad things happen to people?
Do they happen on any schedule or with any ability to forecast them with 100% accuracy?
Do some of those bad things that happen without any predictability include things that can harm us?
When you pick up the phone to call 911 for help when those bad things happen does a policeman/fireman/paramedic come right out of the phone right then right there?
If that doesn't happen then how long does it take for the person coming to help to get there?
What can you do to protect life and limb while you're waiting for the fireman other than get out of the house and watch it burn or get the hose or fire extinguisher?
What can you do to protect life and limb while you're waiting for the paramedics other than keep the injured person quiet and warm and perhaps pressure on any wound?
What can you do to protect life and limb while waiting for the police to get there? Will the BG stop whatever they were doing that made you want to call 911? If it takes 15 minutes for the police to get there what will that allow the BG to do in that half of an episode of "Friends" while the police come? What can they do to you and your family in 10 minutes? In 5? How 'bout in 2? Can the police get there in 5 minutes? What if they can't?
If you have a first aid kit or a fire extinguisher they will help you last until the firefighters or paramedics arrive. What's going to help you last until the police arrive?
Ask her to read Pax's site and then see if she has any questions after.
When someone asks about why I carry I say it's best illustrated with some questions.
Do bad things happen to people?
Do they happen on any schedule or with any ability to forecast them with 100% accuracy?
Do some of those bad things that happen without any predictability include things that can harm us?
When you pick up the phone to call 911 for help when those bad things happen does a policeman/fireman/paramedic come right out of the phone right then right there?
If that doesn't happen then how long does it take for the person coming to help to get there?
What can you do to protect life and limb while you're waiting for the fireman other than get out of the house and watch it burn or get the hose or fire extinguisher?
What can you do to protect life and limb while you're waiting for the paramedics other than keep the injured person quiet and warm and perhaps pressure on any wound?
What can you do to protect life and limb while waiting for the police to get there? Will the BG stop whatever they were doing that made you want to call 911? If it takes 15 minutes for the police to get there what will that allow the BG to do in that half of an episode of "Friends" while the police come? What can they do to you and your family in 10 minutes? In 5? How 'bout in 2? Can the police get there in 5 minutes? What if they can't?
If you have a first aid kit or a fire extinguisher they will help you last until the firefighters or paramedics arrive. What's going to help you last until the police arrive?
Jkwas
Member
Don't push her, but suggest that it would be a good idea to get a ccw just in case she does decide she needs to carry at some point or another. My wife has hers, but seldom carries. But she understands that in some situations, either after a hurricane or at night, it's a good idea to be able to legally.
jjohnson
Member
How Long You Been Married?
Oh, guys...............
I know, some of you answered it. Trying to get your lady to do something she doesn't wanna do is like trying to make a pig sing. When it's all over, you'll both be tired, frustrated, maybe even mad, and the pig still will not have sung.
Your best deal is to accept that she might go for the CCW and sooner or later decide it wasn't a bad idea after caving in to your nutcase request. If you do the easy stuff like take her to the range often and to the occasional gun show, sooner or later she might come around. Or not. You can give her all the opportunities, and that's great, but jeez, don't try to force a woman to do something until she's convinced SHE wants to do it.
I've been married 32 years. That's 7 on the first one, who at least taught me to leave the lid down, and the second one hasn't fired me yet. Been close though. :banghead:
Be happy your lady doesn't bitch about guns lying all over the house.
Oh, guys...............
I know, some of you answered it. Trying to get your lady to do something she doesn't wanna do is like trying to make a pig sing. When it's all over, you'll both be tired, frustrated, maybe even mad, and the pig still will not have sung.
Your best deal is to accept that she might go for the CCW and sooner or later decide it wasn't a bad idea after caving in to your nutcase request. If you do the easy stuff like take her to the range often and to the occasional gun show, sooner or later she might come around. Or not. You can give her all the opportunities, and that's great, but jeez, don't try to force a woman to do something until she's convinced SHE wants to do it.
I've been married 32 years. That's 7 on the first one, who at least taught me to leave the lid down, and the second one hasn't fired me yet. Been close though. :banghead:
Be happy your lady doesn't bitch about guns lying all over the house.
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