Girlfriend is hesitant about going to the shooting range...

[Armueller2001]

So my girlfriend was raised in Chicago by two parents who work for the police department. She was always taught to "fear" guns, and never touch her mom's or anyone else's for that matter. I've been talking to her about going to the shooting range for some time now, and she's kind of on the fence about it. She gets kind of scared when my gun is out on the nightstand next to my bed, pointed at the wall, but she requests that I bring my gun with me when we go into bad areas in Peoria at night... :banghead: even though my house here in Carbondale has been broken into twice (when I wasn't home) but I've never had a brush with crime in Peoria.

Anyway, I'm talking to her tonight on the phone about going to the range this weekend, and she's like "I don't know... we'll talk about it later, I don't want to talk about it right now." and she mentioned something about being scared. I told her that it was a lack of firearms training, and she'd feel MUCH better if she knew how to clear, and safely handle one. She told me if she ever needed a handgun in self defense, she'd grab mine and have a "crash course" in operation, and just figure it out there when she needed it. LOL. Like me getting knocked out or stabbed, and an intruder coming towards her from 10 feet away, is a great opportunity to figure out how to operate, aim, and fire a handgun.

I think the first thing I'm going to do when I'm teaching her safety at my house before we go is to set the gun down and ask her, "If you needed this gun, and wanted to turn the safety off to fire it, what would you press?" I'm betting she's going to point to the magazine release, because there IS no manual safety on my M&P. I'll show her what that particular button does, and how SCREWED she would be if she would have pressed it in an encounter. Then I'll go on to show how to clear a weapon, verify it is unloaded, have her hold it (I imagine she'll instinctively put her finger on the trigger), and go over the 4 rules, etc.

Side note - does anyone find it funny how a person holds a pistol for the first time? Like it's a lobster and its going to jump up and bite them or something hahaha.

 

[La Pistoletta]

Ask if you can "trade" a safety + .22 practice session for something she wants to do. A movie, dancing, short trip, could be anything depending on interests and hobbies. It might be "bribery" but that first session seems to loosen things up and pique interest. No reason to put it off until you might need it for real.

 

[Armueller2001]

Yeah I'm kind of worried I'm going to get stuck taking Salsa dancing lessons or something though!! hahaha

 

[plainsbilly]

my wife was nervous around guns too I solved the problem very simply
REACTIVE TARGETS anykind of wet fruit and a .22 and you have cheap reactive and satisfying targets for a new shooter. I prefer apples because cleanup is so easy but melons are easy to hit and VERY reactive. just remember PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE start her out with a .22 if possible till she learns how to contol it and gets over her fear.

 

[For Freedom]

Well don't try to make her feel stupid.

 

[Armueller2001]

I have no .22, pistol or rifle...

9mm is as small as it goes.

 

[Frog48]

I've never encountered this problem. Nearly every girlfriend I've had either had experience with guns, or welcomed the opportunity to learn.

Heck, a few of my gf's even had CHL's. One was the daughter of a cop, the other was the granddaughter of the Sheriff of a neighboring county.

I guess its just a more gun-friendly culture down here.

 

[Armueller2001]

Yeah... here in IL, especially up north toward Chicago, people have the "rely on the government", self-defense is evil, victim mentality. People are ignorant of guns, so they fear them.

I wish I could carry a gun in this state.

 

[plainsbilly]

no .22 sounds like you just got an excuse to get one trust me get a cheap used rifle and a couple of bricks of ammo it will be the best $150 or less you ever spent

 

[Frog48]

I know what you mean. I have lots of family in Illinois and Iowa, and their mindset is totally different than what I'm used to.

As for what gun to use... do you have an AR15? Girls seem to love them, and .223 recoil is very tolerable.

 

[Armueller2001]

no .22 sounds like you just got an excuse to get one trust me get a cheap used rifle and a couple of bricks of ammo it will be the best $150 or less you ever spent

What would you recommend, a used Ruger 10/22?

I do have an AR15, but it isn't sighted in yet... I figured a 9mm would be okay, what do you think?

 

[Frog48]

9mm pistol or carbine? I guess it doesnt really matter either way... 9mm should be fine.

One bit of advice... be sure to have adequate hearing protection. That seems to be the biggest turn-off for girls when shooting. They flinch mainly because of the noise, rather than the recoil itself. If you have both earmuffs and earplugs, have her wear both at the same time.

 

[plainsbilly]

used marlin nontube fed would be cheaper or a brand new ( but they are as cheap as the price )mossberg plinkster
forgot about the marlin 795 package deals with scope go for ~$150

 

[nelson133]

IMHO, a 9mm is too much. I've taught several women basic shooting and not not one liked the 9mm at first, but they all fell in love with the Ruger MK II. They moved on to the 9mm when they got comfortable with the .22. Let her do what she wants at her own pace, don't push.

 

[jagugator]

Have her go to www.corneredcat.com and do some research. You may want to check it out also. I learned alot about how most woman view guns and using them.

 

[Armueller2001]

If you have both earmuffs and earplugs, have her wear both at the same time.

I've got plugs, but no earmuffs. I may have to go to Dick's this weekend and pick up a pair. Hopefully they have some decent ones.

 

[ToeRag]

I have found with my wife, that all the parts and action of a semi-auto is abit intimidating at first.

If at all possible start off with a revolver and a .22 would be PERFECT. It's possible the range may have one to rent, if you can find a gun store that also has a range. There are at least 2 in my area that have guns for rent. (Public Range)

 

[odysseus]

One thing to keep in mind also is that while firearms are serious business, one can have fun shooting - yes? It sounds like she has a lot of negative feelings to firearms based on what you said here, so try to make it upbeat.

Before we got married, I took my wife out shooting. Some in her family were hunters, so firearms were not totally strange to her - but she had never got into them and had some fear of them. Now, she can shoot clays with a shotty and not flinch.

I agree with you too, go over the safety basics and functioning at home unloaded, this should break the ice and might turn it into a fun outing for her.

 

[Nobody's_Hero]

Not meaning to chastise anyone's parenting skills (I have no kids), but if I had a daughter, I think I'd want her to know how to defend herself. (besides, it might save me some hassle on the night I get to meet her boyfriends )

Praises go out to the O.P. for wanting to help her overcome her fear of guns.

 

[45Badger]

Well don't try to make her feel stupid.

This is a big deal. MANY guys easily fall into the "Me big man, you little woman, I protect you. Little woman no understand gun. I teach you how to shoot gun right. Silly little woman" trap. I know I get frustrated when I try to teach my wife something mechanical and she doesn't get it. She ends up being pissed because she thinks that I think that she is stupid. She's seriously smart, but has NO interest in learning to fix stuff or see how it works. I've got to understand HER interest and keep that in perspective if I want her to learn or do something.

You've already demonstrated a slightly condescending attitude towards her parents and her gun knowledge, and a smart-ass way of teaching her that a mag release is not a safety. If you want this to be pleasant learning experience, lose the attittude. You might even want to check out professional instruction. It will go a long way towards defusing her emotions around guns. And it won't put totally un-necessary strain on your relationship.

At the end of a fun shooting session, you want her to be cheerful and frisky, not embarrassed or resentful. I think Also, dont be upset that with a little knowledge/instruction she shoots circles around you.

Advice on the .22 is also great. You might want to consider a .22 rifle to get her started. You can pick up used Marlins for less than $100. They are even less "threatening" than a pistol.

Good luck, good shooting, and good relationship building

 

[HIcarry]

IMHO, a 9mm is too much. I've taught several women basic shooting and not not one liked the 9mm at first, but they all fell in love with the Ruger MK II. They moved on to the 9mm when they got comfortable with the .22. Let her do what she wants at her own pace, don't push.

I would agree and strongly suggest that you not start off with the 9mm. I teach a basic handgun course at least once a month and most of the female students have never shot a gun before. The vast majority of those that are there because someone else (boyfriend, husband, concerned friend) has suggested that they take the course are extremely nervous about shooting and the light recoil and minimal report of the 22 goes a long way toward reducing their initial anxiety. After several rounds they generally become more confident and are then able to progress toward the larger calibers.
Now your girlfriend may be able to handle a 9mm and may not have any difficulties, but a story from one of the students may illustrate the possible problems: A mid 40s female came to class and was extremely anxious about the live fire portion. She explained that some time before her boyfriend (a LEO and now her husband) had taken her to shoot and that despite her lack of familarity and initial trepidation, she went. She didn't have a good time (she didn't recall the caliber of the firearm her BF used, but it was likely his service weapon so it either a .38 or 9mm) and never went back, or picked up another firearm until the class...and that was about 10 years.
So, whatever you do, make sure that the first time is not a traumatic one and that she enjoys herself...if not, you may not get her to go again for a long time.

 

[ChrisVV]

Get her alone if you can.

I have found with my wife that she may say "she is scared" or the guns are to loud and frighten her, or too much kick.... The funny thing is when I get her alone with just me out at a piece of property to shoot instead of a range around other people, she seems to perk up and want to try everything I have on hand.

I think it is more about being embarrassed that people will judge her more than anything else.

 

[farscott]

I know I get frustrated when I try to teach my wife something mechanical and she doesn't get it. She ends up being pissed because she thinks that I think that she is stupid. She's seriously smart, but has NO interest in learning to fix stuff or see how it works. I've got to understand HER interest and keep that in perspective if I want her to learn or do something.

That has been my experience as well with my wife. It has been easier with my daughter because my daughter exhibits "engineering" analysis skills, so it is easier for me to explain things. Both are shooters, but my daughter actually asks me when we can go shooting. I wonder if it is because my daughter's analytical mindset makes a difference.

 

[Waitone]

Consider this. Those unfamiliar with firearms don't really know what they are. Their education consists of TV and movies. In the past when I've run into people who are afraid to even touch a firearm I've arranged a cleaning session while they are around. A firearm may look formidable sitting on a table. It has an entirely different look in pieces on a tray.

 

[XD Fan]

45Badger is exactly right and invest in the .22.