My new girlfriend HATES GUNS!

[PaladinVC]

If you're going to wait for the confrontation, and put all this planning and strategizing into it, remember that she might be doing the same thing. There could be a discussion thread mirroring this one out there, with her asking her anti-gun colleagues what she can do about her otherwise-spectacular gun-nut boyfriend.

If you aren't willing to walk away from the relationship, and she is, then she'll have all the ammunition in her camp when it comes to negotiating this issue. You'll sell all your guns, leave the NRA, and think to yourself every night, "This girl is worth the price I paid." Hopefully. If there's any doubt as to whether she's worth losing the guns, then you'll have to decide at what point you'll choose them over her, and you'll need the strength to make that hard decision when the time comes.

I don't think anyone here envies you. It's a brutal situation when a man must choose between two loves. I hope you're lucky, and don't have to make the choice, but if you must, I hope you handle it as well as anyone can.

My advice is to make your decision based on how much regret you'll feel in ten years.

 

[45crittergitter]

Then why is she your girlfriend??? :banghead:

 

[Oleg Volk]

I'd make the reward of dating you contingent on her learning about your hobby/lifestyle. If she would not, then check with the garbage collector about the pick-up schedule. Lack of open mind should mean a one-way ticket to Dumpsville.

 

[PATH]

Ditto!

 

[71Commander]

I would break it off. Don't see a future that will work out for no one involved. I wouldn't tell the reason for the break. She may get vindictive and fill a false charge out of revenge.

 

[K-Romulus]

tough one

Been there, done that.

(hint) My wife is not the girlfriend of which I speak . . .

 

[GunGoBoom]

First I will quote Michael T, from above:

2nd get rid of her now. What if she gets mad and gets a PO against you .Good by guns!! Send her on her way or you will pay for your lust big time.

That Lautenberg BS is serious business - things often go south in relationships, and if she is anti-gun, she's more likely to use that approach (VPO), whether or not you actually ever stalk or threaten her.

Next I will quote Tim Roth's character from Rob Roy:

"Love is but a dung heap, Betty, and I am but a cock who climbs upon it to crow."

Seriously, confront the issue NOW - have a looong talk, and explain everything about your position calmly and rationally, and then give her anywhere from 2 to 5 seconds to agree that you are the man in the relationship and therefore correct ultimately where there is disagreement, particularly where her view has no basis in logic, whereas yours does.

 

[DarthBubba]

You poor Dog

You poor Dog,

My Good Lord how ever did you end up in this place.
You know your heart so if you truly love this woman you have more to be worried about than her stance on gun banning.
Remember do not compromise your position you have had you hobby longer than you have had her and changing to please her will only make you resent her and cause turmoil in your relationship. That is a two way street, if she is a true liberal nutter she will not change either if you can live with that bully for you if not dump the chumpette and find someone closer to your own interests .

But hey I have been divorced twice so what do I know.

DarthBubba

 

[Berek]

How about this: Wife left me (she was a thieving nutbag anyhoo...) and I found someone new. A year and a half ago, she refused to have firearms in the house unless the firing pin was removed. Ok, I can do this. 6 months later, she buys me a Savage 11FXP3 in .300WSM. Recently, she bought her own Winchester 9410 and an Ithica 20ga with a Bushnell Red-Dot.

Women. Go figure...

Berek

 

[ClonaKilty]

One thing you should remember that married guys know and single guys just won't believe:Chicks are great in the sack until you are married.

Huh? I'm married 10 years and I certainly don't know that at all...

 

[GT]

ClonaKilty quotes me:

One thing you should remember that married guys know and single guys just won't believe:Chicks are great in the sack until you are married.

and then adds his comment:

Huh? I'm married 10 years and I certainly don't know that at all...

Of course a partial quote can be as misleading as a misquote. What I actually wrote was:

One thing you should remember that married guys know and single guys just won't believe:

Chicks are great in the sack until you are married.

Then they become as great as they feel inclined to be on a given day...or not.

Congrats ClonaKilty, you have an inclined wife. May she ever be so

G

 

[Target Practice]

Ask yourself "What do we have in common?"

To all of you saying that he should dump her, don't you think that's a little presumptuous?

Not everyone likes guns. The fact she "Locked up" when you asked her about going to the range says to me there's some BIG underlying issue, not just a general dislike about guns. Ask why she dislikes them, and don't give up when she says "I just don't". She probably doesn't just 'not like them', she's probably ABSOLUTELY TERRIFIED of them. You need to respect that. It doesn't matter if it's irrational or not. You still need to deal with it.

Tell her the truth. You carry a weapon of which she does not approve, and keeping that fact from her is disrespectful.

To everyone saying 'dump her'...Why? There are other posts in this thread saying "yeah my wife USED to be like that". Obviously, change can happen.

Not to mention, do you really want to put another person out there that says "Yeah, those damn gun nuts care more about their stupid guns than their girlfriends/wives, they're all crazy fanatics"?

When I first met my current girlfriend, the ONLY things we had in common were guns, paintball, and a tiny crossection of our musical tases. No exaggeration.

We're still together a year later. Want to know why? Because we talked (fought) about it, and compromised. We're on the opposite ends of the spectrum from one another, but over time we've both had some changes of heart, and are moving closer together. We're in a very stable and comitted relationship, despite our differences. And she's a THR member!

My LAST girlfriend...Well, we dated for about 2.5 years, and she didn't like guns. The thing was, she could never give me a reason. Though, it eventually got to the point where she didn't care. That wasn't the reason we broke up, either. I didn't care.

If you love her, give her a chance, and be careful. You may never get her to like guns, but you might get her to not care.

If you stick with her, you might end up with something amazing. If you ditch her at the first sign of conflict, you know exactly what you're going to get.

Afterthought Edit:

With the current example of my girlfriend. I like going fast. My family has a couple of cars that we race at the local track. Now, say my girlfriend was deathly afraid of racing. She couldn't go to the track, much less get in the driver's seat (Perhaps she was in a car accident as a child). Now, I know I'm a safe racer, and that, yes, people die racing every year, but I do it because I know it's safe, and that I think it's fun.

If I posted a thread on a racing forum saying "My new girlfriend HATES RACING", and everyone on that site said "Dump her!"...Don't you think that's a little silly?

 

[bamawrx]

I don't have time to read all the posts, but I want to encourage you to take her shooting. Keep it small bore like .22, safe, and fun. IF she turns from the dark side, then you have a good girl on you hands. If she remains with the dark side then that attitude is a deal breaker. Remember that a pathological fear of an inanimate object is an sign of mental problems.

Marriage is hard enough dealing with a mostly sane person. My wife wasn't too crazy about guns while we were dating, but she now carries her glock 17 all the time and even has a small beretta as a back up. Not many guys have lady friends with backup guns.

 

[Omaha-BeenGlockin]

Dump her like a bad habit---which she is---as evidenced by the sex thing.

Do you really want to spend your life with an idiot??? She's already proven that by her lack of critical thinking skills.

Thank God you didn't produce any mush head commies with this female. Your life would be a living hell.

Stop letting the little soldier do all the thinkin for the big soldier----keep that bad boy wrapped up for ANY future encounters.

OK---I'm a pig-----I'd just use her for sex till your true mate comes along or she gets tired of you----Don't ever get emotionally attached to this woman as she is DEFINITELY not the one for you. You'll know when you've found the right one.

Keep her at a distance and only see her when you feel like it---maybe----don't let her have any power in this relationship----only a gal that thinks like you should have any power over you-----this one is a hooked fish that needs to be thrown back eventually.

OK---said my piece and putting on the flame suit.

 

[berettashotgun]

Hadta add this

My little honey has a glock 17 in her DUTY belt and a para-ordnance P-12 as her concealed carry gun hahahahaha but I still haven't got her to cut loose with the 10ga O/U

 

[Husker1911]

In '94, my lovely wife (now ex-wife, thankfully) handed me divorce papers in one hand and my collection, by make, model, and s/n in the other hand. She thought she owned half, after 3.5 years marriage. I did lose a couple of gems, to pay the attorney fees, but it was worth it escaping her clutches!

Run, don't walk away!

 

[The Grand Inquisitor]

In my opinion: Everyone in here is wrong. If you two love each other, the sex is good, the relationship is good, and you like (most) of the same things, there is no reason you should break up your relationship over your shooting hobby.

In my last relationship, when we go together, she had never shot and thought that guns were the tools of the devil (as was everything else...thanks to her psycho parents, but I digress) but by the time we split up (after three years, she loved shooting.

On the other hand, she never liked Star Trek and HATED my music (both important to me) but there was something more important involved:namely our relationship. Unless she is slagging you to cut off your penis and sell your guns, there is no reason why you two cannot live together with one of you shooting and the other doing something else. The day you go shooting, she can do whatever she wants, when you spend too much money on a rifle...well, just lie about that...but everything else, just deal with it as it comes and I don't think it will turn into that big of an issue.

I dearly value my hobbies, and many of you also value shooting, but finding someone you love is a very important and dear thing that should not be given up on a whim.

 

[forquidder]

Hard Lesson

In case anyone has checked ole Peaceful Jeff hasn't shown up since the first page. He basically cherry picked a few replies that fit his view of things and then went back to the great sex with his girlfriend. Something tells me he isn't listening.
Some lessons in life can't be taught orally, they need to be experienced in all their painful glory.
My bet is that this thing is going to go really bad. I hope we eventually get all the gory details and then Peaceful can relay his experience to another poor pup who isn't listening.

 

[Blue Jays]

Hi All-

That's some great advice from The Grand Inquisitor above.

He's all about the "sanctity" of the relationship and how two lovebirds can partner against all odds, but then suggests how one of the partners should LIE to the other about the price of a rifle.

TGI, your comparison to differences in musical taste and whether your partner is a Trekkie or not is patently absurd. Those are not PIVOTAL points (like firearms) that have a huge impact on society at large and define an individual's personality.

She's not "into" Vulcans, Klingons, phasers, and other imaginary spacecraft stuff? Who cares! She doesn't want to listen to your collection of Zamfir and his haunting pan flute musical collection? So what! Plug-in your headphones and listen until you're blue in the face. These don't compare to the outlook on firearms question.

~ Blue Jays ~

 

[Greg L]

If I posted a thread on a racing forum saying "My new girlfriend HATES RACING", and everyone on that site said "Dump her!"...Don't you think that's a little silly?

The difference here is that if she is vindictive you will still be allowed to drive a car (either on the road or the track). In this case you can lose your guns for life over an unfounded accusation.

While a relationship does need common interests to make it work & differences to give it spice, such a disagreement on each other's personal foundations is only a recipe for disaster.

 

[cortez kid]

Guns are different from every other device known to man. You can't get arrested and have your car taken away because you pointed at some(unless you make it clear that you intend to do harm). You can with a firearm. Some0ne who is clearly "against" some thing would have an active agenda to resolve that conflict. Owning guns is as much as a principle as much as a possession. A gun owner doesn't even have to own a weapon and still be one. It' a "state of mind". Are you willing to comprimise your principles? Ask her this question. "Do you want me to get rid of my firearms?" If she smiles and says yes, you got a problem. If she hems and haws and tries to come up with some mutual solution, you got a chance. Again are you willing to "comprimise"? If you make the wrong desicion, you can lose your weapons and the ability to get more. You know this. Your problem is that you don't know if she's worth it! God bless and take your time. Think it out.
good shootin
PS My wife loves my guns. I've gotten her, her own(this always helps). Shoots real good too. She's my best shooting buddy. Plus we get to do things together, other guys would think objectionable. HE HE!

 

[TechBrute]

She was asking, when we woke up this morning, how many guns I had, so I told her.

If you didn't have to go count them, you don't have enough...

 

[Estela216]

your new girlfriend should become your old girlfriend.

 

[Aguila Blanca]

Jeffrey --

Somewhere back around Page 2 of this thread, you wrote something about how this "relationship" is developing weel for the two of you "as a couple."

BS! Any "relationship as a couple" you think is currently developing is a lie, a sham and a fraud. Why? Because YOU know that you are carrying when you are with her, but she does NOT know, and you are afraid to tell her. A healthy relationship is not based on fear, whether it's fear of being beaten up or fear of maybe the other person will leave me if they find out about ____.

If she's really adamant about hating guns, and you're really adamant in your love of guns and your requirement of having them, then eventually it will split you up.

Sooner or later she'll gain enough influence over you, probaby because you've had children together, that she'll feel confident enough to tell you to "get the guns out of the house and keep them out!". And what will you do when this happens (and don't tell me it won't...I know better)? I'll tell you what you'll do, you'll find some way to rationalize that she's right, it will be a safer house without the guns, you'll get rid of them and then she'll really have power over you. That or you'll refuse and she'll eventually start using anti gun statements (usually made by other anti gunners she knows, and after time most of these will be coming from other "guys" she knows) and eventually she'll take the kids and leave. You may get a second chance from her to "do the right thing and get rid of the guns", but probably not, she'll already have other plans, including you paying child support for years and no visitation rights as long as you have guns in your home. She'll turn the kids against you, teach them to be good little liberal anti gunners and hate everything you love.

This post makes a LOT of sense. I, too, have been there and done that. The ex-GF in my case was previously married to a police officer. He injured his back and left the force. The next day she took his guns, rowed out to the middle of the lake they lived next to, and dumped HIS guns into the lake. I really REALLY loved that woman, but there was absolutely no way I was going to live in FEAR of coming home one day to find that my guns were now stored in Davey Jones' locker.

You owe it to yourself, and to her, and to any relationship potential, to come clean with her NOW. Sit her down, open up your little case, show her the gun and tell her that you ALWAYS carry and that you ALWAYS will, and ask her if she can accept that. If the answer is "No," shake hands and depart the scene like a gentleman.

Manipulation is (or should be) beneath your dignity.