Officers'Wife
Member
That kind of attitude forces a woman to make the choice between you or her family. Not a comfortable position for her or one that you are likely to win.
Gunloving Dads with Daughters
- Thread starter Azul
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That kind of attitude forces a woman to make the choice between you or her family. Not a comfortable position for her or one that you are likely to win.
If you are even slightly interested in marriage you will care about the rest of the family! If you live near them you will be spending a good portion of every holiday there, as well as birthdays, and random weekends.
I wouldn't marry a chic whose parents were Frank and Estelle Costanza...
I wouldn't marry a chic whose parents were Frank and Estelle Costanza...
SSN Vet
Member
try this approach...
"Gee Mr. Soandso, I've mostly been interested in military style rifles as I've never had anyone to teach me about hunting"
You'll be in like Flynn....
and...
You'll make a new shooting buddy, who could probably teach you a lot (assuming you have a teachable spirit).
Maybe even get an invite up to camp next fall.
Perhaps the soul who posted this doesn't have a family or has such a bad family life that they wish they didn't.
I would suggest to you, that there are many people out there who are being raised in a wonderful family environment and consider their family as the most important gift they have recieved in life.
Disrespecting or discounting what is really important to someone is not the best attitude to build a relationship on.
"Gee Mr. Soandso, I've mostly been interested in military style rifles as I've never had anyone to teach me about hunting"
You'll be in like Flynn....
and...
You'll make a new shooting buddy, who could probably teach you a lot (assuming you have a teachable spirit).
Maybe even get an invite up to camp next fall.
Perhaps the soul who posted this doesn't have a family or has such a bad family life that they wish they didn't.
I would suggest to you, that there are many people out there who are being raised in a wonderful family environment and consider their family as the most important gift they have recieved in life.
Disrespecting or discounting what is really important to someone is not the best attitude to build a relationship on.
Aran
member
Actually, my fiancee's dad hasn't liked me since before she and I were together (Her sister is one of my best friends from years before we got together) and her mom... well... let's say I've fallen asleep at her place once when we were back home early in our relationship, after staying up all night watching movies and was woken up with the butt of a rifle.
You don't choose your family, and there's no reason to think the world of them if you don't get along with them. Neither my fiancee or I are particularly enamored with our families for the most part. Her dad is mostly out of the picture, given that he's living mostly off the grid in nowheresville, NY and we're in PA.
That said, I'm at my grandma's right now watching her crappy daytime TV shows with her and commiserating over my brother being an idiot. I get along with her just fine, but eh, the rest of them can probably go jump off a bridge and I won't feel too bad.
I'll probably ramble more lately but she an I are talking
fireside44
member
- Joined
- Sep 22, 2009
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- 1,145
To be honest, my father in law would just laugh at me then ask me how it shoots but would refuse to try it himself. Lots of old guys only like what they like and don't care what younger guys think.
Still, if it was my daughter, I would just shoot all his ammo up and then tell him his rifle is dirty.
Took my daughter and her boyfriend (who'd never fired a handgun before) to the range last wekend. The guy had the time of his life, we finally had to quit 'cause we ran completely out of ammo.
I'm seeing the makings of a potential new shooting buddy here.
I'm seeing the makings of a potential new shooting buddy here.
brassdog
Member
Good luck on that!
Depends on how serious you are about this girl. Just be yourself, be honest, don't walk in with a chip on your shoulder, treat his daughter with respect and no touchy feely stuff in front of the family. Maybe a kiss on the cheek if she gives to you. Only time will tell if her dad warms up to you. It took me well over ten years before my FIL finally said that I was the best thing his daughter ever met.
Again, good luck!
Depends on how serious you are about this girl. Just be yourself, be honest, don't walk in with a chip on your shoulder, treat his daughter with respect and no touchy feely stuff in front of the family. Maybe a kiss on the cheek if she gives to you. Only time will tell if her dad warms up to you. It took me well over ten years before my FIL finally said that I was the best thing his daughter ever met.
Again, good luck!
James T Thomas
Member
perceptions
You said you wern't oldand creepy.
By the time you do grow old, your tastes in things will change, and fortunately your black guns will retain their market value, or even increase, and you will be able to make trades or sell so that you may buy less evil but potent, none the less, "Sporter" firearms.
Whether you girlfriend's father percieves you as "evil, creepy" also, you must know in your own heart the truth of it, and how confident you feel about that.
From what I've seen of the black AR attraction, it is a passing phase for most
"sportsmen."
You said you wern't oldand creepy.
By the time you do grow old, your tastes in things will change, and fortunately your black guns will retain their market value, or even increase, and you will be able to make trades or sell so that you may buy less evil but potent, none the less, "Sporter" firearms.
Whether you girlfriend's father percieves you as "evil, creepy" also, you must know in your own heart the truth of it, and how confident you feel about that.
From what I've seen of the black AR attraction, it is a passing phase for most
"sportsmen."
Aran
member
Black guns are always sexy.
smallbore
Member
As a gun loving father of a daughter, I have experienced both sides of your position. My wife is the daughter of a Marine. I was fresh out of the Navy when we started dating. From jump, I always approached and treated my wife and her family with the same level of respect that I hoped to earn from them. Although my in-laws choose to not own firearms, I never gave them any reason to concern themselves about my ownership of them. Long story short, we’ve been married for a little over 35 years and my relationship with my wife’s family continues to be strong. When our daughter started dating, I looked for that same level of respect from the person she was ‘going out with’ at the time. Long story short, she’s married to a wonderful individual for whom I have fondness and respect. We also go ‘plinking’ together several times a year. Life is good.
ATBackPackin
Member
Bringing a simple and thoughtful gift for both the mom and dad will never hurt. Don't forget about the mom because they will often put fathers in their place. Some nice flowers for the mother and perhaps a few cigars, favorite six pack of beer, bottle of wine, etc. for the father, preferably something he can share with you. Your girlfriend will also think this is very thoughtful.
Without saying, "Yes ma'am", "No thank you ma'am", and "Yes sir" will go a long way.
Showing your girlfriend the utmost respect and keeping the affection to a minimum will also show respect to her parents.
Show interest in things that interest them. Avoid questions that require a one-word answers. Instead ask questions that will make him think like "What do you think of such and such rifle? I may be interested in getting one, but don't know anyone who has owned one." Unless he just wants to down right hate you, he should open up.
BE HONEST! If he catches or even thinks you are telling a "fib" or "white lie" then he will think you will do the same to his little angel.
Avoid politics and religion EVEN if you think you have some in common.
Remember this IS a job interview and the position could be son in law.
By coming here and asking advise I am fairly certain you will do fine.
Best of luck.
Shawn
Without saying, "Yes ma'am", "No thank you ma'am", and "Yes sir" will go a long way.
Showing your girlfriend the utmost respect and keeping the affection to a minimum will also show respect to her parents.
Show interest in things that interest them. Avoid questions that require a one-word answers. Instead ask questions that will make him think like "What do you think of such and such rifle? I may be interested in getting one, but don't know anyone who has owned one." Unless he just wants to down right hate you, he should open up.
BE HONEST! If he catches or even thinks you are telling a "fib" or "white lie" then he will think you will do the same to his little angel.
Avoid politics and religion EVEN if you think you have some in common.
Remember this IS a job interview and the position could be son in law.
By coming here and asking advise I am fairly certain you will do fine.
Best of luck.
Shawn
Show interest and talk about HIS guns, not yours. That's good advice when talking to anyone new to you on any topic.
If you're a "creepy, internet, tacticool wannabe that's dating his baby" he'll know that before long anyway and there's nothing you can do about. Just mind your manners and show respectful interest in his interests: (hunting rifles and his daughter).
Les
If you're a "creepy, internet, tacticool wannabe that's dating his baby" he'll know that before long anyway and there's nothing you can do about. Just mind your manners and show respectful interest in his interests: (hunting rifles and his daughter).
Les
Thanks a lot, another thing to worry about.
Thank you all for the abundance of good advice. I'm probably worrying a bit too much about something that probably won't even be an issue.
I just went out today and bought a Marlin model 60 (with stainless steel barrel) so at least now I have something with some wood on it if the subject should happen to come up (I don't plan on bringing it up myself.)
Straight Shooter
Member
You went out and purchased a rifle to impress a girl’s dad... Now that's amore!
Shadow Man
Member
Just don't work so hard trying to impress him that you forget who you are. You have to stand up for who you are, and if he is any kind of decent person, he will respect you more for that than for anything else. Remain true to you.
Officers'Wife
Member
The father will be far more impressed if you bought it for her.
As it has been said: "If you don't want to go to Kansas, then don't get on the train."
Translated: If you don't intend to marry my daughter, then you have no business being her girlfriend.
Guns has little to do with it... unless you fail to observe the above. Understand, son?
Translated: If you don't intend to marry my daughter, then you have no business being her girlfriend.
Guns has little to do with it... unless you fail to observe the above. Understand, son?
preachnhunt
Member
You're getting some good advice here. I think you are wise to consider the possibility that your choice of firearms may not be to the father's liking,but in the grand scheme of things it's minor.
If you were coming to my house I would be infinitely more interested in your character than your guns. I would see you less as a potential shooting buddy than as a potential son in law.(If it's gotten that serious)
Manners are HUGE. Good manners tell parents a lot. If invited to dinner make sure your table manners are flawless and if you really want to score points offer to help clear the table and clean up the dishes. While your offer will likely be refused,your thoughtfulness will be remembered.
In short, if you show yourself to be a respectful and decent man who will treat his daughter well the dad isn't going to hate you for your EBR addiction.
If you were coming to my house I would be infinitely more interested in your character than your guns. I would see you less as a potential shooting buddy than as a potential son in law.(If it's gotten that serious)
Manners are HUGE. Good manners tell parents a lot. If invited to dinner make sure your table manners are flawless and if you really want to score points offer to help clear the table and clean up the dishes. While your offer will likely be refused,your thoughtfulness will be remembered.
In short, if you show yourself to be a respectful and decent man who will treat his daughter well the dad isn't going to hate you for your EBR addiction.
Straight Shooter
Member
Or for the dad.
Mt Shooter
Member
TIME OUT........define "older" 
possom813
Member
Mt Shooter said:
Older than me
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