I think you guys are a bit confused. She doesnt mind having guns, its more, having them around her or carrying them that she was kinda upset with. I got her to agree to let me keep the 9mm, told her I probably wouldnt get $100 for it. And as for the guy who said somethin about lacking judgment, you know nothing about the situation or anyone in it, so I would watch who you say things like that to. As was said, if you wouldnt tell me in real life, dont say it here.
guns and my fiancee
- Thread starter Magnum357
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Koos Custodiet
Member
OK, to add some value to the thread, rather than just criticise.
My sweettie was anti when I met her. Moderately anti, as in, believing the missinformation out there, not wide eyed crazy anti like Brady Inc. She's bright enough to figure out that it's a hobby, it costs a helluva lot of money, and it's safe. As long as I spend money on her as well, she's cool. She knows I'm safe, she knows how to be safe around guns, and we've taught the kids (her kids, from a previous marriage) to be safe.
So all is well.
Having said that, the OP has to make a judgement call. A call which is no doubt biased by the fact that Mrs OP has great bo... erm... certain attributes that the OP is somewhat smitten with.
It's difficult. You (the OP) can't convey all the nuances on to a forum like this. You need to make that decision. Can you commit to that gal, knowing who she is and where she might insist you go? Will she listen to (what we agree is) reason? Step outside the rosy glasses, and make the call.
And then live with that call. You make it now, you live with it, OK?
(Moderator: You didn't get all the MM60 references, dude. The rest of you, I'm off to The Other Place)
My sweettie was anti when I met her. Moderately anti, as in, believing the missinformation out there, not wide eyed crazy anti like Brady Inc. She's bright enough to figure out that it's a hobby, it costs a helluva lot of money, and it's safe. As long as I spend money on her as well, she's cool. She knows I'm safe, she knows how to be safe around guns, and we've taught the kids (her kids, from a previous marriage) to be safe.
So all is well.
Having said that, the OP has to make a judgement call. A call which is no doubt biased by the fact that Mrs OP has great bo... erm... certain attributes that the OP is somewhat smitten with.
It's difficult. You (the OP) can't convey all the nuances on to a forum like this. You need to make that decision. Can you commit to that gal, knowing who she is and where she might insist you go? Will she listen to (what we agree is) reason? Step outside the rosy glasses, and make the call.
And then live with that call. You make it now, you live with it, OK?
(Moderator: You didn't get all the MM60 references, dude. The rest of you, I'm off to The Other Place)
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svaz
Member
That's different. Mine doesn't want me to CCW, and frankly speaking, it wouldn't be practical for me to anyway, so net zero loss. At home mine are in the safe; I've got a dog, a bowie knife, & 215 lbs of mean to deal with midnight intruders.
Hypocritically, she recently asked to take one out of the safe for her use when I traveled - and she is so out of practice I came home and found the damn thing w/ the hammer back (under my direction, over the phone, she cleared the chamber & reinserted the magazine). :banghead:
Keep the damn guns - she'll get over it. Then get more. And tell her to stop worrying about what your mother thinks.
sfc_mark
Member
LS240
Member
Does she have more than one pair of shoes? If so, tell her she has to get rid of all but one pair and see how she reacts. Then tell her, "Now you know I feel."
Bit of a joke suggestion but it may work. A lot of times you gotta put stuff into terms people understand, even if it offends them at first. If shoes aren't her thing, find something she does love for which she has multiple examples. I didn't read the whole thread yet so my apologies if someone else made the same suggestion.
Bit of a joke suggestion but it may work. A lot of times you gotta put stuff into terms people understand, even if it offends them at first. If shoes aren't her thing, find something she does love for which she has multiple examples. I didn't read the whole thread yet so my apologies if someone else made the same suggestion.
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scchokedaddy
Member
- Joined
- Jul 26, 2006
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- 216
you cant shoot but 1 at a time
heard that for years. wife hates guns, but she buys me one every other year as a rule. her reason is her brother was shot. shes coming around thouigh. married 32 years, didnt happen overnight though. bought her a parker hale in 243, sent her to gunsmith to have it fitted to her, then got her walther p22. had rifle 3 years pistol 2 years and she has yet to shoot but braggs about both of them. new argument for buying now is that i am buying for grandkids. got 2 boys and one girl so i am covered for awhile, only problem is daughterinlaw hates guns. but when i showed her the a5s put up for boys she started calming down. now she asks who gets the new weapon,so l told her the last 1 was probably going to her. she thought about it for a minute then said ok when do i get to shoot it!!!! its a marlin 308 so i said when you are ready. just remember when you buy her weapon buy it for her not you, rifle or shotgun take it and her and get it fitted where she can enjoy it. this is very important dont give her your cast offs make it hers, even if you dont like the weapon its HERS not YOURS. bite the bullet, it will go a long way. most of all IF YOU RERALLY LOVE HER ITS WORTH THE EFFORT TO TRY TO APPEASE HER, even if you have to buy WIMPY weapon for her. good luck and GOD BLESS
heard that for years. wife hates guns, but she buys me one every other year as a rule. her reason is her brother was shot. shes coming around thouigh. married 32 years, didnt happen overnight though. bought her a parker hale in 243, sent her to gunsmith to have it fitted to her, then got her walther p22. had rifle 3 years pistol 2 years and she has yet to shoot but braggs about both of them. new argument for buying now is that i am buying for grandkids. got 2 boys and one girl so i am covered for awhile, only problem is daughterinlaw hates guns. but when i showed her the a5s put up for boys she started calming down. now she asks who gets the new weapon,so l told her the last 1 was probably going to her. she thought about it for a minute then said ok when do i get to shoot it!!!! its a marlin 308 so i said when you are ready. just remember when you buy her weapon buy it for her not you, rifle or shotgun take it and her and get it fitted where she can enjoy it. this is very important dont give her your cast offs make it hers, even if you dont like the weapon its HERS not YOURS. bite the bullet, it will go a long way. most of all IF YOU RERALLY LOVE HER ITS WORTH THE EFFORT TO TRY TO APPEASE HER, even if you have to buy WIMPY weapon for her. good luck and GOD BLESS
Arkansas Paul
Member
Man that speech was awesome. Spot on too.
myrockfight
Member
The only thing that I can say that has worked for me specifically is to be firm. Whenever I have dated a girl and she has expressed an aversion for my hobby, I told her it is part of my upbringing, I'm responsible with them and it is never going to change - no matter what. I've always said it kindly, but firmly. It has always worked for me.
If I felt like further explaining the point, I always appeal to their emotional side. This is expressed by using a hypothetical. If you had the ability to keep someone you loved from being raped or murdered, would you? Because I have the responsibility, capability, and training to carry a firearm. And if something happened to someone I cared for, that I could have stopped, and I didn't because I was too lazy to not carry, I would NEVER forgive myself.
Quite honestly, that is the truth. And I think that is why it works. It is terribly hard to argue with.
If I felt like further explaining the point, I always appeal to their emotional side. This is expressed by using a hypothetical. If you had the ability to keep someone you loved from being raped or murdered, would you? Because I have the responsibility, capability, and training to carry a firearm. And if something happened to someone I cared for, that I could have stopped, and I didn't because I was too lazy to not carry, I would NEVER forgive myself.
Quite honestly, that is the truth. And I think that is why it works. It is terribly hard to argue with.
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brboyer
Member
What's the difference between one gun for defense and two? Or seven?
My last girlfriend got mad at me once for spending a tax return on a 10/22. She said I should have invested in the stock market instead.
I told her that as the one who had been shooting since the age of four, I was more qualified to make the decision about which guns I needed and which ones I didn't than she was (because I had just taught her to shoot about two months before that). She couldn't really argue with that.
As a gentleman, I tend to allow women to pretty much make any reasonable request of me with the expecation that I'll carry it out. I even just do things I think they might want done without waiting to be asked. But that doesn't mean I've lost my backbone about anything, especially guns.
My point of view is this - I'm a man and it's my responsibility to care for and protect my loved ones. Sometimes that means bringing her chicken soup if she's sick, sometimes that's a foot rub, and sometimes it's packing a .357. Get used to it. That may be a little chauvenist, but it is what it is.
My last girlfriend got mad at me once for spending a tax return on a 10/22. She said I should have invested in the stock market instead.
I told her that as the one who had been shooting since the age of four, I was more qualified to make the decision about which guns I needed and which ones I didn't than she was (because I had just taught her to shoot about two months before that). She couldn't really argue with that.
As a gentleman, I tend to allow women to pretty much make any reasonable request of me with the expecation that I'll carry it out. I even just do things I think they might want done without waiting to be asked. But that doesn't mean I've lost my backbone about anything, especially guns.
My point of view is this - I'm a man and it's my responsibility to care for and protect my loved ones. Sometimes that means bringing her chicken soup if she's sick, sometimes that's a foot rub, and sometimes it's packing a .357. Get used to it. That may be a little chauvenist, but it is what it is.
Actually, she's supposed to be buying a gun for herself for when I'm in the Marine Corps. Had a brand new Bersa .380 CC all lined for her for $265, and she spent about $240 on clothes and stuff in the space of three days.Hey, I could put-off buying another gun for a month or two to keep her (the fairer sex) happy.
ozarkgunner
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- Nov 11, 2009
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- 250
I started reading this thread just to see what your deal was. After reading abouthalf of the first page, I decided it's a waste of time. But here's my input. Your mother needs to stay out of it. If she doesn't like guns then how is "your" family gun "friendly". Secondly, did you have a gun before you got together? If so, then why the change of mind now? As far as I can see, it's not really about having the gun and it making you a target for being shot, it's just about spending money on it and having "another" gun. Thats just like my wife, 11 years now, and it's always been the same. Having one gun or a hundred guns, you're the same target to a bad guy. After a few incidents my wife has come accustomed to me having guns and their use for self defence.
How is your would be wife ok with the 9mm you keep in the car, but not one in the house? You need to ask why the difference. Ask her if she would rather you try to defend your selves in the middle of the night from a burgler with a broom stick or a gun. Ask her what the Police, Sheriffs, Military use to defend them selves. A cop having a gun does not make him a bigger target to a bad guy. It makes them even.
This isn't something I would budge on. I love my wife, but I'm not going to give up my guns and make us vulnerable to would be thieves, burglers, and such. I'm not saying ditch her, but I wouldn't tie the knot until this is settled. If you give in on this, then the rest of your mariage you will be completely miserable, in stead of just partialy miserable. And your mom really needs to stay out of it, and you need to handle that.
How is your would be wife ok with the 9mm you keep in the car, but not one in the house? You need to ask why the difference. Ask her if she would rather you try to defend your selves in the middle of the night from a burgler with a broom stick or a gun. Ask her what the Police, Sheriffs, Military use to defend them selves. A cop having a gun does not make him a bigger target to a bad guy. It makes them even.
This isn't something I would budge on. I love my wife, but I'm not going to give up my guns and make us vulnerable to would be thieves, burglers, and such. I'm not saying ditch her, but I wouldn't tie the knot until this is settled. If you give in on this, then the rest of your mariage you will be completely miserable, in stead of just partialy miserable. And your mom really needs to stay out of it, and you need to handle that.
My mum is anti (God will protect us, don't worry). My father shot rifles but got none. My uncle carries. After luckily escaping with his life when a BG tried to shoot him and gun jammed during a robbery at his family warehouse. Family excuse him saying he is rich and an obvious target after the BGs, made a score last time. He told them take the money (He has insurance anyway, it was easy, plus his wife was in the store at the time too.), they took the money but still felt the need to still shoot him!
Luckily pistol jammed and they bolted.
No one in the family knows about mines and I like it that way, no uncomfortable conversations to be had. My family in my house a lot, and none of them aware of armory in the house. My parents sleep over here often, and they are a mere 2 feet away from 4 guns in a hidden safe. They put their things inches away and have no clue. My living room guest coat closet has gun cleaning supplies too. That's what you call hidden in plain sight. Girlfriend is anti too and doesn't want to know anything about "those evil things". Love her though.
Her: Why do you need those?
Me: I like shooting, its a lot of fun, and I plan to take you to the range. Will you please accompany me some time?
Her: No thank you.
Me: Silence. (Discussion over).
I keep them out of her sight. I clean them when she is not here. I have a safe, I am the only one with access. If any family finds the safe, I will just tell them its my personal stuff in it. No mention of guns. First time any of them will ever know is God-forbid I have to protect one of them. They ride in the car with me armed and they have no clue either. LOVE IT!
Luckily pistol jammed and they bolted. No one in the family knows about mines and I like it that way, no uncomfortable conversations to be had. My family in my house a lot, and none of them aware of armory in the house. My parents sleep over here often, and they are a mere 2 feet away from 4 guns in a hidden safe.
They put their things inches away and have no clue. My living room guest coat closet has gun cleaning supplies too. That's what you call hidden in plain sight. Girlfriend is anti too and doesn't want to know anything about "those evil things". Love her though. Her: Why do you need those?
Me: I like shooting, its a lot of fun, and I plan to take you to the range. Will you please accompany me some time?
Her: No thank you.
Me: Silence. (Discussion over).
I keep them out of her sight. I clean them when she is not here. I have a safe, I am the only one with access. If any family finds the safe, I will just tell them its my personal stuff in it. No mention of guns. First time any of them will ever know is God-forbid I have to protect one of them. They ride in the car with me armed and they have no clue either. LOVE IT!
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I have been married 42 years. This topic was not a problem until I got a few guns. You need to resolve this issue before the ceremony. If guns are an important part of your life, let her know, explain how you derive pleasure from them. They are not competition for her, nor will they hurt her. They are your friend.
Good Luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Good Luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Claude Clay
Member
so if i took up golf you would want me to have but one club?
My wife got ticked back in 06 when I got my XD45-- not because I bought it, but I didn't consult her first-- but once I told her why I bought it (her ex was getting out of Huntsville on a drug charge-- again, and we were in the process of terminating his parental rights of my step daughter-- no daughter)-- she was ok with it... and since then, I have bought her her own guns, and she loves shooting as much, if not more than me.
COmmunication is the key..IMHO
Ask her why she thinks your anti gun mom is an expert on the behaviour of criminals. Show her the armed citizen section of the NRA magazines. Now point out all of the murdered unarmed people in the newspaper for a week and ask her if they are better off being unarmed and deceased.
I agree with an earlier poster about having a safe that is quick to access. While everyone has a different situation I have found that for my family a easily accessable safe (4 digit keypad) is the way to go. If I were single or had no children a nightstand might suffice.
Ask your significant other if she would appreciate being unarmed while you take the only gun in the house when investigating an odd noise at 3am.
I wish you luck. I was blessed with a wife that likes guns so I can only imagine what you are going through.
I agree with an earlier poster about having a safe that is quick to access. While everyone has a different situation I have found that for my family a easily accessable safe (4 digit keypad) is the way to go. If I were single or had no children a nightstand might suffice.
Ask your significant other if she would appreciate being unarmed while you take the only gun in the house when investigating an odd noise at 3am.
I wish you luck. I was blessed with a wife that likes guns so I can only imagine what you are going through.
RoostRider
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She's right... you don't need more than one handgun.... you want another one is all....
shooter1
Member
Wow! Hard to believe this is even an issue. Where have all the men gone? I don't impose my politics or beliefs on anyone, and I'll not have theirs imposed on me. Seems simple. I'd make sure my mother and my girlfriend understood that. Good luck!
str1
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